Brewstew - Cat Attack
Summary
TLDRThe narrator recounts a series of harrowing encounters with various animals throughout their childhood, but the most traumatizing was with their friend David's Siamese cat, Cotton. Despite its cross-eyed appearance, Cotton was notorious for his aggressive behavior, causing harm to children and even destroying a prized holographic Pokémon card. The cat's unpredictable nature and frequent seizures added to the tension, culminating in a violent episode where Cotton attacked the narrator, leaving them with a severe injury and a strong resolve to press charges and file a restraining order.
Takeaways
- 🐾 The narrator had numerous violent encounters with animals throughout their childhood.
- 😿 A Siamese cat named Cotton, owned by the narrator's friend David, was particularly traumatizing.
- 👁️🗨️ Cotton was notably cross-eyed, leading to uncertainty about where the cat was focusing its attention.
- 😾 Cotton exhibited aggressive behavior, often harming children and causing minor destruction.
- 🃏 While playing Pokémon cards, Cotton ate one of Steven's prized holographic cards.
- 🚫 The cat's unpredictable nature made it a source of fear, especially for the narrator.
- 🦷 Cotton had seizures, which were a common occurrence and not much of a concern until a particular episode.
- 🎮 During a late-night gaming session, Cotton had a seizure that led to a broken lamp.
- 💥 After the seizure, Cotton attacked the narrator, clawing into their ear and causing significant injury.
- 🚨 The incident was so severe that the narrator's parents suggested filing a restraining order against the cat.
- 🎶 The script ends with a humorous threat from one of the characters and a reference to a dramatic movie scene.
Q & A
What kinds of animals attacked the narrator during their childhood?
-The narrator was attacked by various animals including a rabid raccoon and a giant Rottweiler.
What is the name of the Siamese cat that traumatized the narrator, and what was unique about its appearance?
-The Siamese cat's name was Cotton, and it was notable for being cross-eyed.
Why was Cotton considered mean?
-Cotton was considered mean because he would commit violent acts unprovoked, such as tripping children and attacking people unexpectedly.
How did Cotton's behavior affect the narrator and their friends' behavior at David's house?
-The narrator and friends would try to avoid Cotton by not going near him, keeping their voices down, and even avoiding loud noises like farting to prevent provoking him.
What medical condition did Cotton the cat have?
-Cotton had epilepsy, which caused him to have seizures.
How did Cotton's seizures affect his behavior towards the narrator?
-After a seizure, Cotton's behavior became aggressive towards the narrator, including an incident where he leaped at the narrator and got his claw stuck in the narrator's ear.
What was the outcome of the incident where Cotton attacked the narrator?
-The attack resulted in the narrator running around in a panic with Cotton hanging off his ear, eventually leading to the narrator being covered in blood with his ear still somewhat attached.
What was the reaction of the narrator's parents to the injuries caused by Cotton?
-The narrator's parents were shocked and concerned about the severity of the injuries to the narrator's ear.
What did the narrator consider doing in response to the attack by Cotton?
-The narrator considered pressing charges and filing a restraining order against Cotton.
Describe the impact of Cotton's attack on the narrator's view of pets.
-The attack by Cotton, along with other violent animal encounters, contributed to the narrator's traumatic experiences with animals, indicating a significantly negative impact on their view of pets.
Outlines
😿 Childhood Animal Encounters: The Trauma of Cotton the Siamese Cat
The speaker recounts a series of violent and traumatizing encounters with various animals throughout their childhood, with a particular focus on their friend David's Siamese cat, Cotton. Cotton, characterized by his severe cross-eyed condition and aggressive behavior, is described as a menace to the neighborhood children. The speaker details Cotton's malicious acts, such as tripping skateboarders and burning people with lit cigarettes, and shares a personal story of Cotton destroying a cherished holographic Pokémon card, highlighting the cat's unpredictable and unprovoked attacks. The narrative also touches on Cotton's epilepsy, which the speaker and their friends had to navigate, leading to a harrowing incident where the speaker was attacked by Cotton during one of his seizures, resulting in a severe injury to their ear.
😫 The Aftermath of Cotton's Attack and Its Lasting Impact
The speaker continues the account of their traumatic experience with Cotton, the Siamese cat, focusing on the aftermath of a particularly vicious attack. After being seized by the cat during an epileptic episode, the speaker describes the panic and chaos that ensued as they tried to free themselves from Cotton's grip. The detailed summary outlines the speaker's desperate attempts to escape, the involvement of their friends, and the ultimate disengagement from the cat's clutches. The impact of the attack is emphasized by the speaker's physical injuries and the emotional trauma they faced. The story concludes with the speaker's contemplation of legal action against the pet and the lasting fear that Cotton instilled in them and their friends, highlighting the severity of the situation and the cat's unpredictable nature.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Animal attacks
💡Siamese cat
💡Cross-eyed
💡Epilepsy
💡Pokemon cards
💡Seizures
💡Restraining order
💡Aggression
💡Childhood trauma
💡Friendship dynamics
Highlights
Narrator describes a history of being attacked by various animals, from a rabid raccoon to a neighbor's Rottweiler.
A particularly traumatizing attack involved a Siamese cat named Cotton, described as cross-eyed and unusually mean.
Cotton's cross-eyed appearance is humorously exaggerated to imply he could see other dimensions.
The cat's aggressive behavior included assaulting children and bizarre acts like burning people with cigarettes.
A notable incident where Cotton ate a highly valued holographic Pokémon card, leading to a child searching through cat feces for it.
Cotton is characterized as having a personal vendetta against the narrator for unspecified reasons.
The cat's unpredictable aggression made visiting his owner's house a cautious affair.
Cotton had epilepsy, leading to frequent seizures but seemed unaffected by them.
An epileptic seizure causes Cotton to knock over a lamp, initially leading to a mistaken belief he was dead.
After a seizure, Cotton's eyes are no longer crossed, humorously suggested as having been 'shaken straight'.
Cotton attacks the narrator in a ninja-like manner, resulting in a claw stuck in the narrator's ear.
The chaotic scene of the attack includes attempts to detach Cotton, resulting in significant blood loss for the narrator.
Following the ordeal, Cotton nonchalantly smokes a cigarette, adding to his characterized malevolence.
The narrator's ear is left bloody and damaged, but still attached, leading to considerations of pressing charges and filing a restraining order against the cat.
The overall narrative humorously highlights the exaggerated dangers and absurdity of dealing with a seemingly demonic household pet.
Transcripts
all right now throughout my childhood
I've been attacked by all sorts of
animals I mean we're talking anything
from like a rabid raccoon behind a Long
John Silvers to my neighbor's giant
Rottweiler that uh tried to Murder Me In
Cold Blood I've had a ton of violent
encounters and plenty of close calls to
say the least but one of the most
traumatizing animal attacks that I've
been a part of had to have been from my
friend David's pet cat now this cat was
a Siamese cat named Cotton and like a
lot of Siamese cats his ass was
crosseyed as hell that cat was so
cross-eyed I swear he could like see
other dimensions and [ __ ] and Not only
was he crosseyed but this cat was mean
as hell I seen him commit fonus assault
on many a child throughout my life he'd
like go out in the street and like trip
a little kid on a skateboard if you
weren't paying attention he'd [ __ ]
burn your ass with a lit cigarette ah
what the hell hell one time me and my
friend Steven were playing Pokemon cards
at David's house and this cat just
walked up and ate his [ __ ]
holographic Mr M now first off do you
know how important a holographic Mr M
was to a child in 1999 Steven's ass
would have rather lost like a
grandmother or a [ __ ] kidney instead
of that goddamn Pokemon cart you bet
your ass Days Later he's like sifting
through cat [ __ ] all that's left at Mr
mim's ass is like a crumpled up 40hp
piece of cardboard and [ __ ] ah God damn
it look how they massacred my boy to
hell with your evil ass cat and not to
mention that cat was volatile as hell he
could attack your ass unprovoked at any
moment so when we were at David's house
you didn't go near cotton you tried to
keep your voice down while he was in the
room hell if you [ __ ] farted too loud
that cat would Freddy Krueger your ass
six ways to Sunday and that went double
for me because cotton seemed like he had
some sort of personal Vendetta against
my little ass which I mean I have no
idea why I followed all the proper
precautions I didn't go near him I kept
my voice down if I had to [ __ ] fart I
stuck my ass out of the nearest window
but it didn't
matter he attacked me regardless it got
so bad when I'd come home from David's
house my parents would be like holy hell
look I don't know if you can file a
restraining order against the household
pet but uh maybe you should give it a
try and like I mentioned before cotton
was cross-eyed as hell so you didn't
know if he was looking at you or your
friend next to you or if he was looking
out the [ __ ] window you didn't know
who that cat was about to Target are you
staring at my goofy ass eyeball that no
please don't hurt us I'm not talking to
you guys I'm talking about that kid
across the street godamn
it ah what the [ __ ] now one thing that I
failed to mention about cotton the cat
is that his ass would have seizures from
time to time that's right apparently
cats can have epilepsy that's a real
thing his ass was diagnosed by a
veterinarian and everything oh yeah your
cat's going to have seizures and
flip-flop around like a [ __ ] bluegill
Out of Water he'll be fine though just
keep them away from like hardwood floors
and probably the staircase now these
seizures that cotton would have never
really seemed to bother him all that
much he just kind of like spazz out for
a minute or two and then you just pop up
and walk away like nothing ever
happened but these seizures would happen
all of the time they happen so
frequently it wasn't even like a big
deal to us it was just like a common
occurrence in David's house we'd be
sitting on the couch watching TV
Cotton's ass would be over there
like dude turn your TV up I can hardly
hear boy meet's world over your loud ass
pasted cat well [ __ ] you Mr feny I'm not
going to detention how about
that well it was during one of these
epileptic episodes where I almost met my
untimely demise the Cott and the cat you
see it was late one night when me and
Steven were staying the night at David's
house and we're up in David's room
playing Streets of Rage on the Sega
Genesis you know getting our asses beat
by the fat flamethrower guys on stage 4
naturally well all of a sudden we hear a
very familiar sound coming from
downstairs and that sound is followed by
something smashing on the floor so we go
down to David's living room to
investigate and what we find is a broken
lamp and cotton the cat's epileptic ass
laying on the floor apparently he was
laying on a table had a seizure and
knock the lamp over no big deal the only
problem was Cotton's ass is just laying
there not moving at all now my first
thought is holy hell he's dead Cotton's
ass finally [ __ ] rattled his brains
into mashed potatoes so we're all
standing there thinking we're looking at
a deceased household pet everybody's
traumatized as hell well everybody
except for Steven's ass that is yeah
that's what you get you [ __ ] Mr Mind
murdered piece of [ __ ] well suddenly
cotton Rises up stares directly at me I
know that because his eyes are no longer
[ __ ] crosseyed I don't know if his
ass shook his eyeballs straight or what
during the seizure but what I can tell
you is that his ass leapt at me like a
godamn Ninja Turtle and then he clung
himself onto me like a [ __ ] koala
bear on a eucalyptus tree now real quick
it's important to note that uh I don't
draw ears on my characters usually cuz
I'm a lazy piece of [ __ ] but because of
the nature of this attack I'm going to
put a [ __ ] ear on my character
because what happens next is Cotton's
ass ends up clawing into my [ __ ] Earl
and he didn't just scratch it no he gets
his claw stuck in it now I don't know if
you've ever had your ear pierced by a
cat litter and crusted claw before but I
really do not recommend it I start
running around David's living room in a
panic while 9 lb of [ __ ] sies cat
hangs off my ear David's ass is over
there like heal cotton heal godamn it
stop it Steven's fleeing [ __ ] couch
pillows at it trying to save my life
eventually Cotton's ass leaps off of me
I uh couldn't tell you exactly how or
when cuz I'm pretty sure I blacked out
over the whole [ __ ] ordeal all I know
is I end up [ __ ] covered in my own
blood looking like I stormed the beaches
of Normy and [ __ ] my [ __ ] ear
thankfully still somewhat attached to
the side of my head CT just sitting on
the couch smoking a cigarette and [ __ ]
yeah well next time I'll Reservoir Dog
that [ __ ] right off the side of your
head I'll disfigure a child I'm not
afraid of jail I go home the next day
and my parents are like Jesus Christ
Holyfield what the hell happened to your
ear I don't want to talk about it but
I'm going to press charges and I'm
definitely filing that [ __ ]
restraining
order
bruce.com
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