Republicans Flood Trump's Hush Money Trial to Attack Judge Since He Can't | The Tonight Show
Summary
TLDRIn this humorous skit, 'The Tonight Show' hosts a fictional interview with former President Trump, satirizing his hush-money trial and political antics. The mock interview is filled with absurd responses, such as Trump's choice of Hannibal Lecter as a running mate and a debate with President Biden in nursing homes. The segment also pokes fun at Trump attending his son's graduation and the dynamics of a presidential debate. The show's 'WePost' segment allows the audience to vote on social media posts, with the unsubscribe email joke receiving the most approval.
Takeaways
- ðº The script is from 'The Tonight Show', a popular late-night talk show.
- ð« Former President Trump is on a gag order, which has led to Republicans defending him outside the courthouse.
- ð€ Trump is portrayed as dismissive and uncooperative during a hypothetical interview about his trial.
- ðŽ Trump finds his trial dull and uninteresting, even falling asleep.
- ð¬ A humorous interaction is depicted where Trump speaks through a ventriloquist dummy named Roger.
- ð Trump is granted a day off from his trial to attend his son Barron's graduation.
- ð€£ Trump is jokingly suggested as a potential running mate for Hannibal Lecter and plans to debate President Biden.
- ð Trump's trial is humorously relocated to nursing homes and retirement centers for a debate.
- ðšââïž Trump jokingly instructs Barron to become a judge to find him not guilty.
- ðŠ Lego announces a new 'Lord of the Rings' fortress set, which is a humorously expensive and niche product.
- ð³ïž A segment called 'WePost' involves audience voting on social media posts, with one post about unsubscribing from emails winning.
Q & A
What is the setting of the script?
-The script is set in a fictional scenario of 'The Tonight Show' where a host is discussing the events surrounding former president Trump's hush-money trial and other humorous topics.
What is the gag order mentioned in the script?
-The gag order is a legal order prohibiting certain people from speaking publicly about ongoing court proceedings, which is humorously referenced in the script as a reason for Republicans attacking the judge and prosecutors on Trump's behalf.
What is the humorous take on Trump's trial in the script?
-The script humorously suggests that Trump's trial is so dull that he would eventually show up with a ventriloquist dummy named Roger to make it more entertaining.
What is the joke about Stormy Daniels in the script?
-The script humorously implies that Trump wakes up and feels like Superman when Stormy Daniels, an adult film actress, shows up in his trial.
What is the duration of Trump's encounter with Miss Daniels mentioned in the script?
-The script humorously states that Trump's encounter with Miss Daniels was 'Just like 10 seconds.'
Why is Trump taking a day off from his trial in the script?
-In the script, Trump is taking a day off from his trial to attend his son Barron's high-school graduation.
What is the humorous comment about Trump's son Barron in the script?
-The script humorously suggests that Trump has already told Barron to go to law school, become a judge, and find him not guilty.
What is the joke about Trump's running mate in the script?
-The script humorously suggests that Trump's running mate could be Hannibal Lecter, a fictional character known as a cannibalistic serial killer.
What is the humorous take on the presidential debate in the script?
-The script humorously suggests that the presidential debate might be held in nursing homes and retirement centers, and that RFK Jr. could somehow find a way to participate even though he wasn't invited.
What is 'WePost' in the script?
-'WePost' is a segment in the script where the host of the show presents different social media posts to the audience, who then vote on whether they like each post or not.
What is the final decision made in the 'WePost' segment in the script?
-The final decision made in the 'WePost' segment is to post the one that received the most likes, which is the post about unsubscribing from getting e-mails.
Outlines
ð Tonight Show's Trump Interview Skit
The first paragraph introduces a humorous skit from 'The Tonight Show' where the host welcomes the audience and discusses the ongoing trial of former president Trump. The skit involves a gag order leading to Republicans defending Trump outside the courthouse. It humorously suggests that Trump might run out of supporters and use a ventriloquist act to continue his defense. The host then pretends to interview Trump, asking him about his trial, his reaction to Stormy Daniels' appearance, the length of their encounter, his plans for attending his son Barron's graduation, his presidential campaign, and a debate with President Biden. The segment is filled with satire and exaggerated responses typical of a comedy show.
ð WePost Social Media Voting Segment
The second paragraph outlines a segment of the show called 'WePost,' where the host engages the audience in a social media voting activity. The host presents five different social media posts for the audience to vote on using clickers at their seats. The posts range from humorous to absurd, and the audience's reactions are mixed, with some receiving lukewarm responses and others getting more laughs. The host maintains a light-hearted tone throughout, acknowledging that not all posts are met with the same level of enthusiasm. The winning post is announced, and the host commits to posting it during the break, encouraging viewers to repost it online.
Mindmap
Keywords
ð¡The Tonight Show
ð¡Hush-money trial
ð¡Ventriloquist dummy
ð¡Stormy Daniels
ð¡Barron Trump
ð¡Hannibal Lecter
ð¡Presidential debate
ð¡WePost
ð¡RFK Jr.
ð¡Lord of the Rings fortress set
Highlights
Welcome to 'The Tonight Show' with a humorous take on the day's events.
Satirical commentary on former President Trump's hush-money trial and Republican reactions.
Trump's interview on the show, where he humorously refuses to tell the truth and shares his thoughts on the trial.
Comedic exchange about Stormy Daniels' appearance in the trial and Trump's reaction.
Joke about Trump attending his son Barron's graduation and a humorous suggestion for Barron's future.
Trump's absurd choice of Hannibal Lecter as a running mate in the presidential campaign.
Trump's debate with President Biden and the humorous location suggestions.
Trump's foreign policy plans humorously mentioned with a slip of the tongue.
Announcement of Trump attending multiple graduations in one week, adding to the satirical tone.
RFK Jr.'s potential involvement in the presidential debate, adding an unexpected twist.
News about Supreme Court justices participating in a charity race and the humorous aftermath.
Lego's new 'Lord of the Rings' fortress set announcement with a comedic take on its price.
Introduction to 'WePost', a segment where the audience votes on social media posts.
Humor in the audience's reaction to the first 'WePost' option featuring Colonel Sanders and General Tso.
Comedic interaction about using a paper towel dispenser, leading to a vote on the second 'WePost'.
Audience's decisive rejection of the third 'WePost' option, adding to the segment's humor.
High engagement with the fourth 'WePost' about unsubscribing from emails, winning the audience's favor.
Final 'WePost' joke about customer service interactions, ending the segment on a humorous note.
Transcripts
-Welcome, everybody.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show"!
You made it. You're here. Thank you for watching at home.
Well, guys, it was another day of former president Trump's
hush-money trial.
And because of his gag order,
a bunch of Republicans showed up at the courthouse
and attacked the judge and prosecutors for him.
They're saying, by next week, Trump will run out of supporters
and just show up with a ventriloquist dummy.
"Hey, Roger.
Roger, what do you think of the judge?
Totally corrupt. I wouldn't say that.
They're great American people. It's rigged.
Why would you say that, Roger?"
Well, Trump's trial has been going on for weeks,
and he actually agreed to join us for an interview about it.
So right now, we're going to ask him a few questions.
Thank you for talking to us, Mr. Trump.
Do you swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
-No, no, no, no, no.
-Okay, well, do your best.
What have you thought of your criminal trial so far?
-I was starting to fall asleep watching.
-Okay. Well, it can be a little dull.
How do you feel when Stormy Daniels showed up?
-I woke up and I said, "I feel great.
Boom! Superman." -Alright.
Whoa. Alright.
Just for the record, how long was your encounter
with Miss Daniels back in 2006?
-Just like 10 seconds.
-Okay. Got it.
Now, I heard that, tomorrow, you're getting
the day off of court to go to your son Barron's graduation.
Are you and Barron Close?
-Barney is a fantastic guy.
-That's close enough. Close enough.
You're also campaigning for president.
If you had to decide today, who would be your running mate?
-Hannibal Lecter is a wonderful man.
-Okay, very good.
And I saw you just agreed to debate President Biden.
Do you know where those debates will be held?
-Uh, nursing homes and retirement centers.
-Okay, okay. Before you go,
do you want to say anything about your plans for
a foreign policy in places like Saudi Arabia and Russia?
-We are a nation that just recently heard
that Saudi Arabia and Russia will redur-- uh...
-Okay. Well, thank you very much.
I know you're very busy. Thank you very, very much.
Thank you. That was great.
He's very busy. A lot of pressure.
Under a lot of pressure.
Speaking of Trump,
tomorrow, he's getting the day off from his hush-money trial
to go to his son Barron's high-school graduation.
Yep, Trump's going to Barron's high-school graduation,
and next week, he's going to Eric's.
Trump already told Barron, "Next, I need you to go to
law school, become a judge, and find me not guilty."
Well, everyone's still talking about the presidential debate,
and, apparently, even though RFK Jr.
wasn't invited to participate, there's still a chance
he could qualify for it.
I'm guessing, one way or another,
he's going to worm his way in there.
[ Cheers and applause ] âªâª
Yeah, Biden, Trump, and RFK Jr.
That might be the first debate where the winner is
whoever doesn't speak.
Just don't say anything.
I saw that several members of Congress
and three Supreme Court justices
just ran in a 3-mile race for charity.
Right now, the Supreme Court justices
are experiencing the case of Chafing vs. Nipples.
Well, listen to this.
Lego just announced a new 5,000-piece
"Lord of the Rings" fortress set that costs $460.
Anyway, if you're looking for a line to end a first date,
that ought to do it there.
Finally, guys, it is Thursday. It is time for "WePost."
Here we go.
-⪠WePost âª
âªâª
⪠WePost âª
-Thank you, Roots.
Welcome to "WePost."
This is where we, as a group, decide something
that we should all post on socials.
I'm going to show you five different posts,
and we're all going to vote on
whether you like each one or not.
You all have voting clickers at your seats?
Yep. Now, you can vote for all of these if you like.
You could vote for none of them.
Whatever you want. Have a good time.
We're going to see the results live.
Higgins, you have your clickers. Roots, you have your clickers.
I'm going to post whichever one gets
the most likes from all of you.
Because it's not a MePost. It's a WePost.
Yeah. Alright. You guys ready for this?
[ Cheers and applause ] Alright.
The first post is...
It's interesting. You never know.
Yeah, Colonel Sanders and General Tso.
Alright, here we go. Cast your vote.
Thumbs up or thumbs down.
The votes are in. Let's see the results.
Okay. All right. Lukewarm. All right.
Very honest audience tonight. Okay, good.
They're not gonna let me off easy.
No, no, no, no, not gonna let me off easy.
They're like, "Eh, it's okay." Yeah.
All right, let's try this next one. It says...
Kind of the same feeling.
You get that same feeling. -That same rush of adrenaline.
-Yeah. A little rush of adrenaline there.
I'm going to vote yes just to be nice.
-I've done it. -You've done it?
-I've definitely done it. -Yeah.
Do you stick your hand into the dispenser
and just grab... -I take the whole thing.
-Yeah. Me too. Yeah. -I've robbed a bank.
-Oh, wow! Then you can't compare, yeah.
Let's see the results here.
All right. Not bad. A little bit better.
Not bad. We're warming up to the idea.
Okay. At least I know the thumbs-up clicker works.
Okay, good.
Let's try this next one here. It says...
Yeah! That's the option -- go big or go home.
-Yeah. -Come on, man, go big.
âªâª
Let's see the results on this one.
Are we going to go big? No!
We're going to go home. Alright, I understand.
Alright, again, they don't necessarily get funnier.
I just will say that. Just so you know.
We have a couple more left. Alright, here we go.
Next up, it says...
Cast your votes on this one.
This one hits close to home. -Yeah, it's true.
-This one, I feel like if I didn't write it,
I feel like I inspired it. -Yeah.
-Yeah, alright, let's see the results on this one.
I feel this one might...
Whoa-ho-ho!
16 people!
[ Cheers and applause ]
âªâª
16! -Whoa!
-Only 16 people did not like that joke.
-Wow! 179.
-I can't tell who didn't like it.
Alright, here we go. The last one here is...
That's how you do it.
That's how you know. You go...
"Hi, are you enjoying everything?"
"[ Mumbles ]"
[ Laughter ]
All right, let's see the results here.
Whoa! Not bad.
No, but the winner is number four.
This is the winner right there. [ Bell dinging ]
Unsubscribe getting e-mails.
I'm going to post this during the break.
If you happen to see it online, give that WePost a repost.
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)
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