Trump-Biden Rematch Set After Haley Drops Out; Greene Humiliated in Interview: A Closer Look

-The Republican establishment raced to line up

behind four-time criminal indictee

and insurrectionist Donald Trump

after Nikki Haley dropped out of the GOP primary.

But that hasn’t made Trump’s biggest supporters,

like Marjorie Taylor Greene, any less unhinged.

For more on this, it’s time for "A Closer Look."

[ Cheers and applause ]

Well, here we are, you guys.

Donald Trump is now the presumptive

GOP nominee for president, again, for a third time,

despite the fact that he’s a twice-impeached,

four-time criminal indictee, and racist

who’s been found liable for fraud and sexual abuse,

banned from doing business in the state of New York

for three years, owes over half a billion dollars in fines,

took millions from foreign governments

while he was president,

tried to extort a foreign country

to interfere in an election in 2020

and encouraged another to help him win in 2016,

actively undermined the nation’s response

to a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic

and let a deadly disease spiral out of control,

is about to go on trial for breaking campaign finance laws

by paying hush money to cover up an affair

during the 2016 campaign,

orchestrated a months-long coup attempt

that culminated in a violent insurrection

to disrupt the peaceful transfer of power

and install him as an unelected dictator,

stole classified documents

and obstructed attempts to get them back,

has never once won the popular vote,

and has been routinely rejected by a majority of Americans

in election after election,

spews deranged conspiracy theories

about everything from climate change

to immigration to vaccines to windmills,

glitches on three-syllable words,

two-syllable words, and one-syllable words,

cheats at golf,

can’t spell his own name,

his wife’s name,

or the words indicted, education,

unprecedented, stolen,

Denmark, Kentucky, or tap,

and is, on top of everything else,

the single weirdest and most off-putting human being

on the face of the [bleep] planet.

And this is the same planet Ted Cruz lives on.

So that’s saying something.

I’m sorry, but this --

[ Cheers and applause ]

This guy...

This guy’s not a real person.

He’s a glitching NPC from a video game.

He makes less sense than a [bleep] Sim.

If you put four walls around him without a door,

he’d just forget to eat and pass out.

Soon we’re going to see him at a rally,

just running headfirst into a wall.

[ Laughter ]

A million dollars?!

That cost us a million dollars?

[ Laughter ]

A lot of talk about how that graphic

was going to look today, guys, and I think...

[ Laughing ] I think that...

[ Laughter ]

The verdict's in!

[ Laughter ]

The Republican Party

is coalescing around this deeply unpopular weirdo

after his only remaining GOP rival, Nikki Haley,

dropped out today. Now, just days ago,

Haley made news by insisting she wasn’t bound

by a previous pledge to support Trump in November.

-You did sign a pledge,

an RNC pledge to support the eventual nominee.

Do you still feel bound by that pledge?

-I have always said that I have serious concerns

about Donald Trump. I have even more concerns

about Joe Biden. -So is that a no?

You’re no longer bound by that pledge?

-No, I think I’ll make what decision I want to make.

But that’s not something I’m thinking about.

-The election you were just in

is not something you're thinking about right now?

See, this is why you lost. Your lies are boring.

At least Trump’s lies have some art to him.

[As Trump] Not many people know this, but at night I grow wings

and I fly over the city,

vanquishing evildoers

and also peeping in ladies' windows.

It’s true.

[Normal voice] Why would anyone in the Republican Party

give a damn about a GOP pledge

when the guy who runs the GOP has never been bound

by any pledge ever in his life?

He hasn’t been bound by a pledge

to remain faithful in his marriage,

a pledge to honor the Constitution,

a pledge to pay his contractors, a pledge to pay his taxes,

or a pledge not to tell people to cure COVID

by drinking Pledge.

So, Haley went out of her way to say

she wouldn’t feel bound to endorse Trump.

And while she didn’t quite endorse him in her speech

this morning, she was very conciliatory towards him.

-In all likelihood,

Donald Trump will be the Republican nominee

when our party convention meets in July.

I congratulate him and wish him well.

Our country is too precious to let our differences divide us.

It is now up to Donald Trump

to earn the votes of those in our party

and beyond it who did not support him,

and I hope he does that.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, that definitely sounds

like my dude Donald Trump,

a compassionate uniter

who will reach out to people

with different points of view.

And in fact, as Haley was delivering that speech,

Trump was reciprocating her well-wishes

with a characteristically kind, humble and complimentary post

about Haley on his social media site,

which I think is called [bleep]hole.

Here’s what he said.

-"Nikki Haley got trounced last night in record-setting fashion,

despite the fact that Democrats, for reasons unknown,

are allowed to vote in Vermont

and various other Republican primaries.

Much of her money came from radical left Democrats,

as did many of her voters, almost 50%,

according to the polls."

-"I wish Donald Trump well."

[As Trump] "And I wish Nikki Haley would fall down a well."

[ Laughter ]

[Normal voice] When are these people gonna learn?

No matter what you say about Trump,

he will never repay your kindness or loyalty.

If you held the elevator door open for Trump,

he’d press every button, loudly fart,

and then say, "Enjoy the ride, loser."

[ Laughter ]

And while Haley hasn’t endorsed Trump yet,

most Republican leaders are falling over themselves

to get behind him, like Senate Minority Leader

Mitch McConnell, who once called Trump disgraceful and blamed him

for what McConnell called a violent insurrection.

-The Senate minority leader, Mitch McConnell,

is endorsing former President Trump.

-In the aftermath of Nikki Haley stepping aside from this race,

the Republican leader issuing a statement

saying that he will, in fact,

endorse Donald Trump for the presidency.

-Well, at least we think McConnell endorsed Trump.

Halfway through his comments, he froze and switched over

to an old Windows screensaver.

-First, let me just say that, uh...

[ Laughter ]

-The media is calling this a remarkable turnaround,

but it’s truly the least shocking ending imaginable.

It’s like if at the end of "Sixth Sense,"

Bruce Willis was alive

and the kid just wanted attention.

Now, do I believe the McConnells of the world

wanted Haley or DeSantis

or anyone else to beat Trump for the nomination?

Sure. But when they didn’t, it was crazy to think Mitch

or anyone else was going to take a principled stand.

And because they won’t, Trump and his goons have no incentive

to moderate themselves. The opposite is happening.

They’re becoming more emboldened.

They’re explicitly promising to jail their opponents,

get revenge on their critics,

and use executive powers to stamp out protests

and carry out mass deportations.

At Trump’s victory party on Tuesday,

one of his biggest boosters

and fellow lopsided Picasso painting,

Marjorie Taylor Greene,

flipped out at a British reporter

who dared to ask her about a conspiracy theory

she once promoted that wildfires are caused by space lasers

controlled by a wealthy Jewish family.

-What do you think

the message should be to Nikki Haley tonight?

-Well, we’ve been encouraging her to drop out

and support President Trump.

And I think tonight is the clear message

that President Trump is the clear frontrunner.

He’s the winner in our Republican primary.

And it’s time for Nikki Haley to drop out and support him.

-Can you tell me why so many people

that support Donald Trump love conspiracy theories,

including yourself?

He seems to attract lots of conspiracy theorists.

-Well, let me tell you, you’re a conspiracy theorist.

And the left and the media spreads

more conspiracy theories. We like the truth.

We like supporting our Constitution,

our freedoms, and America first, so...

-What about Jewish space lasers?

Tell us about Jewish space -- -No, why don't --

Why don’t why don’t you go talk about Jewish space lasers?

And really, why don’t you [bleep] off? How about that?

-Thanks. Thank you very much.

[ Crowd "ohh"s ]

[ Laughter ]

-It’s a testament to British manners

that even after being told to F off by a raving lunatic,

they still say, "Thank you very much."

I’d love to see that reporter on the subway.

"The CIA is using mind-control rats to spy on us!"

[British accent] "That’s a fascinating insight.

And may I say,

I love your aluminium hat."

[ Laughter ]

[Normal voice] Whenever British reporters have to deal

with wackos here in the US,

they always maintain the poise of a narrator

in a BBC nature documentary.

[British accent] We’re here in one of the most

dangerous parts of the jungle,

a Trump rally, where we’re hoping to get a glimpse

of the rare American nut bird

in its natural habitat.

[Normal voice] So, Trump is feeling confident

after his big Super Tuesday wins

and support from the GOP establishment.

He did another of his classic phone rants

with Fox News yesterday,

where he hypnotizes the hosts into terrified silence,

like tourists watching a drunk Santa

take a dump on the sidewalk.

It must be so weird

if you happen to have Fox News muted when that happens.

"Are these -- are these hosts watching me?

Am I the TV?"

[ Laughter ]

And in the course of that interview,

Trump predicted that he would win not just the presidency

but his former home state of New York.

-You look at what’s happened to New York and Chicago.

You look at what’s happened to Los Angeles.

We have a much different country in many ways,

but also from a voting standpoint.

They can’t go to hospitals, they can’t go to schools,

they can’t use their playgrounds for their kids.

We’re going to make a heavy play for New York.

We’re going to make a heavy play for Virginia.

States that generally don’t go Republican.

I think they’re going to go Republican.

-Alright, first of all, you think you can

win New York in a presidential election?

You couldn’t even win a mayoral election.

And remember, this guy did. So...

[ Laughter ]

New Yorkers hate all politicians,

but especially Trump.

On the New York ballot in November,

Biden will be listed as Friggin' Joe Biden,

and Trump will just be listed as This [bleep] Guuuuuy.

[ Laughter ]

Why are Republicans allowed to [bleep] all over liberal cities

while Democrats never [bleep] on red states?

New York City’s homicide rate is 4.8 per 100,000 people.

Alabama’s homicide rate is 15.9 per 100,000 --

more than three times that in New York City.

But you never hear Joe Biden [bleep] all over Tuscaloosa.

[As Biden] Tuscaloosa -- you been there?

It’s a hellhole, folks. I’m not kidding around here.

There’s a Crimson Tide, alright, from all the murders.

No joke, no joke.

[ Laughter ]

[Normal voice] After disavowing him and blaming him

for the insurrection at the Capitol,

Republicans have once again slinked back to Donald Trump,

and now they’re going to spend the next eight months

making promises and asking us for our votes.

And to that I say...

-Why don’t you [bleep] off?

-This has been "A Closer Look."

[ Cheers and applause ]

Hey everybody. Thanks for watching "A Closer Look."

And as a reminder, my brother Josh and I

have started a -- [ Beep ]

[voiceover] have an established

podcast called "Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers."

We hope you listen. We hope you like it.

See you soon.