Goodbye YouTube ...

I feel so barefaced I'm barely wearing

ey Shadow ah who am I hey guys welcome

to today's video we're going to talk

about some serious stuff do a Q&A let's

just go there together cheers I'm a

Yerba monster today this is

probably do I admit it this is number

three it's been a rough one I need my

energy to be up

cheers I still have a Swatch on my hand

so that's pretty typical let's take care

of her real quick and I just want to

take a moment to thank you for being

here I want to ask you how are you doing

let's all take a big deep breath

together has life been good for you how

like up down tell me about it I love

doing q&as it's a little bit indulgent

because I get to just sit here and kind

of unload and I ask you guys to ask me

questions and you ask really good ones

and I know that a big theme recently has

been why are you on Tik Tok why tati why

I don't use that app we're going to chat

about it there's been a lot of dming a

lot of questions a lot of interaction

with you guys where some of you are

thrilled and you are joining me on my

lives that I'm doing now twice a week

because I added in Wednesday I'm going

to be going Wednesday evening 700 p.m.

CST and Saturday 700 p.m. CST I love it

I cannot get enough of it it is so good

for me it's good for my soul and I just

I want you to know that I am enjoying

myself doing them so I am going to keep

doing them but but a lot of you have

been asking what's going on here on

YouTube why don't you do them here are

you leaving YouTube are you done with

YouTube what's going on with the beauty

Community what's happening a lot of

people say they missed 2016 they want

those in-depth reviews they want more of

the old days and I understand but things

have changed the audience has changed

watching habits have changed it breaks

my heart in a huge way um we're going to

get into it so let's talk about it very

genuinely feel like right now I need to

be where the audience is and I'm having

a lot of fun over on Tik Tok it's like

such a dirty word here right like

suppression I love right now the freedom

that I can quickly make short content

like I can Churn it out I don't have to

deal with sound and lights and you know

offloading footage and then uploading it

and then I do you know send off to an

editor and then we preview that's not

that bad I mean there is research and

pre-film you know whatnot that goes into

it so two vide a week ends up being

about a full-time job as is so there is

a lot of work that goes into making

YouTube videos look very polished with

the inserts and the swatches and the

titles and the music and all of it right

I love my job I want to make that very

very clear and before we all Panic let's

I am a YouTuber first I love YouTube

yeah YouTube am I breaking up with

YouTube no do I feel in a way YouTube

has broken up with me

yes and I am fighting to get my ex back

I feel like YouTube is the boyfriend

that's just like liked you loved

you and I want to bring back a little

Sizzle I'm going to fight for this

relationship and I want you to be

involved with me in that the beauty

Community as a whole right now is

suffering you look at your favorite

creators and it's not just me it's

everybody in the space the views keep

cutting in half and then cutting in half

and then cutting in half and it's not

like a old way just fizzled out and

there are new upand cominging stars that

have you know made their way to the

beauty vertical nothing got replaced

that's the weird thing it just kind of

declined and I've been sitting here

thinking where can I find my audience

where can I find my beauty lovers that

want to see the content enough to follow

and watch and get involved and be

engaged and right now I'm seeing that

happen on Tik Tok I'm feeling that

happen again on IG I am having a little

bit have a hard time here on YouTube so

I need your help and I'm not above

asking for help out of 8 million people

subscribe to me on YouTube only 500,000

notifications are sent out on average

only 25 200 are clicked so the system is

seeing that it's not popular and then

less notifications are sent out and do

we see how this Trends backwards it's

not looking good I'll be here till The

Bitter End like I'll keep making content

until there isn't any one left but it's

not looking good for our community

specifically in Beauty which is a little

bit devastating a lot of bit devastating

I have treasured being a part of your

lives for so many years I treasure being

here on Monday and Thursday I want to

create more on this platform it just

feels like the audience has left and it

feels like YouTube is not supporting the

beauty vertical the way they once did as

far as recommended videos and sending

out full notifications so I'm just

asking you guys if you can do me a solid

help me out and if you receive a

notification even if you don't have time

to watch in that particular moment click

on the notification let's do like a

butterfly as the high five like hey I'm

here I didn't get to watch this one yet

but I'll be back later that would be

amazing if you see a recommended video

of mine click on it and let's get the

beauty vertical back on track do this

with your other favorite creators not

just me it will help them so much

because I'm watching all of us struggle

and hold on tight and it just feels like

this vertical that was so powerful and

amazing just kind of fizzle out so make

sure your phone accepts notifications

ring that Bell turn them on and let's

get this thing back up and running and

help the entire vertical out as well go

and do this for everyone notifications

are not going out I literally got a

comment this morning like hey TTY can

you make a video on Castor oil and I'm

like it's there like I made that so

another thing that you can do is you can

go to my page and you can search for

whatever you want to search for whether

it's Maybelline new Sephora new makeup

cter oil and the video will pop up so if

you haven't seen something from me that

you want to see I love your requests but

always make sure that you search for it

because a lot of you guys are not seeing

my videos and then what's even more

maddening is like now that I'm over

making a lot of content elsewhere I'm

seeing comments of like oh my gosh are

you back on YouTube like you're back and

people just don't even know that I ever

came back or that I'm still making

videos and that's definitely frustrating

and totally sad I'm not going to let it

step me back too much but I thought I

would involve you guys in like something

that's heavy on me right now because I

don't want to leave you know and to be

here creating and putting all of this

full-time effort in it it has to make

some sense for me because I do want to

do other cool things with my career I

would love to bring tati Beauty back but

I have to make moves strategically with

a business mindset to get that done and

to relive that dream and to bring it

back so I am working harder than ever

smarter than ever I have a lot on my

plate a lot of exciting things coming up

and if you have loved my content for any

length of time I would just ask that you

please support me it would mean so much

okay and now we will rapid fire into a

little Q Anda you guys it always amazes

me am me oh by the way my shirt a

subscriber sent this from me tiny shop

on Etsy I

believe so cute she also sent me one

that said puka on it and I literally I

can't let's dish about life ooh what's

the best advice you have ever gotten I

don't know that this is the best advice

ever but it's a quote that is really

like sunk into me and I think about it

every single day I kid you not it is

what you are not willing to sacrifice

for becomes the sacrifice just think

about that for a moment what you are not

willing to sacrifice for becomes the

sacrifice so that's the ultimate dig

deeper understand your why so if you

want to get stronger like I want to

build more muscle when puka passed I

stopped working out literally for like 2

3 weeks and I lost all of my progress

and I was like dang it you know like I

was working so hard you know there are

decisions there are excuses there's

things that go on in life that kind of

prevent you from getting what you want

to get done done but ultimately what you

don't sacrifice for like me going and

lifting those weights I'm going to lose

the muscle it becomes the sacrifice so I

love that quote and you can apply it to

so many different things in essence you

got to work for what you want and that

is what I'm about right now what do you

do for self-care on the days when you

just feel horrible I'm depressed

housebound move you got to move 20

minutes you got to move even if it's

ridiculous find a pilates workout on

YouTube like sometimes even doing

jumping jacks just get in your body also

if you don't feel like doing hair makeup

whatever I understand take a bath take a

moment for yourself set the phone down

and just soak these are things that for

most of us are available especially if

you have the time if you're housebound

if you're at home um you can do small

moves that might feel stupid in the

moment but they do Stack Up do you ever

think about all those people oh woo

spice is coming out of the phone do you

ever think about the people that did you

wrong to you and James my husband got

their karma um I don't want to wish bad

on anyone I think it's murky water and

murky territory when you start like

celebrating the idea of somebody getting

theirs when you're like screw get you'll

get yours it's like you literally are

placing all of that yuck back on

yourself and it's like time to learn the

same lesson again so even though I'm

human and I have my moment where I'm

like like dang it I try so hard to set

it down I still feel very very hurt what

is your review of the Nars light

reflecting Foundation I love it I've

been wearing it nonstop best drugstore

bronzer I was just talking about this

the L'Oreal infallable is the very best

top tier bronzer available at the

drugstore it outperforms so many of my

very expensive bronzers it's just a good

one when will you do Madness Monday I

don't know that I'll do long form but

I'm thinking of doing like quick on the

spot deals uh in shorts do you still

recommend Brio geio hair products I do I

use their dry shampoo today fave songs

on T Swift's new album I bet you guys

could guess but who's afraid of little

old me is my absolute

favorite resonates why did you start

doing sponsorships and ads truly curious

and I hope you answer sure um I always

will only bring to you guys things that

I love whether it's here or on another

platform it has to be totally passing

every single test for me to ever

recommend anything whether it is

sponsored or not and I stay true to that

it's very very important to me but you

have noticed that I have been partnering

with more Brands over the past year or

so and she's got a ton of legal fees and

really wants to bring tati Beauty back

so that has been a big motivator for me

to partner with Brands where in the past

when I had Halo and tati Beauty I felt

like I'm good like I'm good focusing on

this and I really don't have an interest

in just overloading myself but then

overloading you guys so I just made the

choice back then not to and times have

changed I didn't think that I would be

in this Fiasco with Halo Beauty it's

cost a lot of money I wish there was a

more glamorous answer but like I'm doing

my best to survive and I'm taking

opportunities but really measuring them

and only again working with brands that

I really know and trust I turn down more

than I take still to this day but if

you've been curious that is why it's

been a rough few

years oh okay to follow up the last one

this is so good does being honest about

products affect your relationships with

Brands love you yes it totally does and

that's a hard line to walk as well but

I've been really really good about not

fluffing things up like if I'm on a PR

list it's fair game like do I want to

aggressively beat a brand up just for

entertainment no like I want it to be a

real review I'm going to give you the

pros and cons I'm going to tell you that

products work differently for every

single person am I sometimes a little

dramatic with it and I have fun with it

yes like that does happen but has that

landed me in hot water as far as like

the hot water is not being invited to

Brand trips which I don't it's fine not

being invited to events oh well I never

shared this with you guys but literally

the Too Faced owner his sister literally

was so aggressive and she was like I'm

well connected in the industry and you

will suffer for this what goes around

comes around and you shouldn't have made

that move and you'll see in the end

hahahahaha and it was really like oh my

God like are you threatening me like

what the heck like first off ma'am like

I wasn't talking about you but she

really went in and was like you don't

talk about people that are high up in

the industry because we all know each

other and little girl we're going to

come take you down so to answer your

question yes it can impact your career

but I think be brave speak how you feel

and eventually things will level out

someone did tell me today that they

thought I was Brave and honest and that

meant so much to me I was like really

because I sometimes feel scared and

Scattered and I show up and I'm doing my

best to be authentic and ah like how

terrible to have to like try but what

I've been through like I feel like it's

PTSD like if I speak too much I feel

like I'm waiting for all these people to

come and be like kill her uh so there is

still a little bit of that someone says

will you ever talk about Dramon again

it's been 5 years since it happened I

would say no if people would stop

talking about it but I still get emails

from people like wanting to quote Me In

Articles and whatnot and I need to get

through litigation and then I'll make my

mind up then but do I still feel

misunderstood on the matter yes do I

feel totally screwed yes do I feel

rage I admit I do and I'm still trying

to figure out what that was like what

the lesson was there because it haunts

me like it haunts me what I went through

and I'm not fully healed from it and I

wish I could say that I was but I'm not

so many people are just asking how are

you and I just want to say thank you and

I wish I could just like give you a big

hug in person and be like thank you for

checking on me I am really optimistic

about so much like doors are opening

cool things are happening and I'm trying

to be really focused on the good but I'm

also dealing with a lot of the past

being drudged up and just a lot of

sadness like not going to lie it's like

a 50/50 and that's just where I'm at so

if you pick up on that that's why and

I'm so close like so close to trial

being here and done and I think that's

the part where it's like what do they

call it like Runner like the runner's

block where you're almost through the

marathon and you're like I can't do it

anymore and that feeling of overwhelm

and sadness and then just the grief of

time lost money spent um just like all

the big questions of like is my career

over like what is this I don't know so

like that's kind of sinking into me and

I don't know what the future holds I'm

always going to be an optimist but there

are days like today specifically I was

like man like I just feel weird and you

know and I'm not ashamed to say that and

share that with you guys so thanks for

checking in my life is not perfect far

far from it okay one more one more okay

this last one is just like a feel-good

statement and I just want to say thank

you so much Rosie

p83 she says no question just a single

mom saying thank you for motivating me

to sit and put on makeup I love that I

love that so much I'm happy that I can

still motivate people to feel good take

care of themselves because when you look

good you feel good and I think there's

such a powerful connection there and

that's always what I want to bring

through with my content so let's tie it

all together I'm not leaving YouTube

there's been a little bit of panic over

that you guys know now how to support me

better if you choose to I would be so

grateful make sure you turn those

notifications on ring the bell make sure

your phone is allowing notifications and

if I post a video that you don't have

time to watch just tap it leave it

butterfly Tap Out watch it later just

that alone would mean so much to me I

really appreciate you all I love what I

do here um I'm sad to see things in a

little bit of a decline but hey maybe we

can fix it so that is all I have for you

guys today I love you so much and I will

see you guys in my next video

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