Women over 30: the game isn't over yet
TLDRDr. Orion terban addresses the misconceptions that women over 30 have about their chances in the dating market. He argues that while the dynamics change after 30, it doesn't mean that women are unable to find meaningful relationships or marriage. Instead, they may need to adopt a more proactive approach, similar to how men in their 20s often have to, due to the shift in sexual marketplace value. Dr. terban emphasizes the importance of effort and adaptation to succeed in the dating scene post-30, encouraging women to be strategic and assertive in their pursuit of relationships.
Takeaways
- 🌟 It's a misconception that women over 30 have significantly reduced chances of finding a partner in the dating market.
- 💡 The notion that the 'game changes' at 30 refers to the shift in dynamics, not the end of opportunities for women to marry.
- 🚀 Despite being at a relative disadvantage post-30, women can still achieve their relationship goals by adapting their strategies.
- 🔥 Men and women both face challenges in the sexual marketplace, but with effort and the right approach, they can find fulfilling relationships.
- 🎯 Women in their 30s need to be more proactive and assertive in pursuing relationships, much like men have had to do throughout their 20s.
- 🌐 The societal shift in advantage from women in their 20s to men as they age does not mean the end of the road for women seeking marriage.
- 💪 Personal transformation and skill development are crucial for both genders to become more attractive and successful in the dating scene.
- 📈 The 'age factor' can serve as a rough estimate of the amount of effort required to find a partner, with older women needing to be more strategic in their approach.
- 🛑 Waiting passively for a relationship to happen is less effective for women over 30; they must take initiative to engage potential partners.
- 📚 Historically, women initiated courtship indirectly. Modern women should find contemporary ways to invite and engage potential partners.
Q & A
What is the main topic of Dr. Orion terban's talk?
-The main topic of Dr. Orion terban's talk is about women over 30 and their prospects in the dating market, addressing their pessimism about finding a husband due to their age.
Why does Dr. Orion terban believe that women over 30 are pessimistic about their chances in the dating market?
-Dr. Orion terban believes that women over 30 are pessimistic because they think that their age puts them at a disadvantage in the dating market, and they may have internalized the idea that their chances of finding a husband are significantly reduced after the age of 30.
What does Dr. Orion terban suggest about the outcomes for most women in relationships?
-Dr. Orion terban suggests that most women end up in a decent relationship, and while they may not always end up with their preferred partner, they are less likely to end up alone and neglected compared to men.
What does Dr. Orion terban say about the changes in the dating game after the age of 30?
-Dr. Orion terban states that after the age of 30, the average man's sexual marketplace value is higher than the average woman's, which may put women at a relative disadvantage in the dating market.
How does Dr. Orion terban advise women in their 30s to approach the dating market?
-Dr. Orion terban advises women in their 30s to change their strategy and adopt a more aggressive approach to get what they want, similar to how men in their 20s have to work hard despite their relative disadvantage.
What is the importance of effort in overcoming disadvantages in the dating market, according to Dr. Orion terban?
-According to Dr. Orion terban, making an effort is crucial in overcoming disadvantages in the dating market. Both men and women need to work on developing skills and strategies to attract their desired partners, regardless of the disadvantages they may face.
What historical example does Dr. Orion terban provide to illustrate women's indirect initiation of courtship?
-Dr. Orion terban provides the example of women in Victorian England dropping their handkerchiefs in front of men they were interested in, as a subtle and socially acceptable way to initiate conversation and courtship.
What does Dr. Orion terban suggest as the modern equivalent of 'dropping a handkerchief' for women in the dating market?
-Dr. Orion terban suggests that women should find contemporary ways to signal their interest and invite men to approach them, similar to the historical practice of dropping a handkerchief, but adapted to the norms and expectations of today's dating culture.
How does Dr. Orion terban compare the efforts required for women at different ages in the dating market?
-Dr. Orion terban uses the analogy of a 20-year period from 20 to 40, with 30 as the midpoint, to illustrate that the efforts required for women increase as they get older, especially if they are at a disadvantage in the dating market.
What is the significance of the phrase 'you need to change your strategy' in the context of the talk?
-The phrase 'you need to change your strategy' signifies the importance of adapting one's approach in the dating market as circumstances change, particularly for women in their 30s who may face a disadvantage due to age and need to be more proactive in seeking relationships.
Outlines
🌟 Overcoming Pessimism in Women Over 30
Dr. Orion terban addresses the pessimistic outlook of women over 30 regarding their chances of finding a husband. Despite common beliefs, most women do not end up alone and are less likely to fall through the cracks compared to men. The key message is that while the dating landscape changes after 30, it doesn't mean that women are out of options. It's essential for women to understand that being at a disadvantage doesn't mean they can't succeed; it just requires more effort and a change in strategy. The importance of self-improvement and proactive approach in the dating process is highlighted, emphasizing that waiting without action is not a viable strategy for those past their prime in the sexual marketplace.
💪 The Effort Behind Success in Relationships
This paragraph emphasizes the hard work and effort behind men's success in the dating world. Despite being at a disadvantage in their 20s, men often hustle and make things happen. The same principle applies to women; they must work hard and develop skills to attract men, especially after 30. The analogy of a 20-year timeline from 20 to 40 is used to illustrate the increasing effort required as women age. The narrative encourages women to adopt a more active role in initiating courtship, drawing parallels to historical tactics like dropping a handkerchief to engage potential partners. The importance of making an effort and changing strategy to succeed in the dating market is reiterated.
📚 Adapting to Change and Modern Courtship
The final paragraph discusses the need for women to adapt to changes in the dating landscape and find modern equivalents of historical courtship tactics. It stresses the importance of making an effort to initiate interactions and provide opportunities for men to approach them. The concept of plausible deniability is introduced, illustrating how women historically maintained their honor while initiating contact. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for women to change their strategy and make an effort to succeed in the dating market, just as men do. It also includes a brief mention of Stellar, an online GRE self-study program designed by Dr. Orion terban, offering a 10% discount for listeners of the podcast.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Women over 30
💡Pessimistic
💡Dating market
💡Sexual Marketplace Value
💡Disadvantage
💡Strategy
💡Effort
💡Transformation
💡Courtship process
💡Advantage
💡Stellar GRE
Highlights
Dr. Orion terban discusses the misconceptions women over 30 have about their chances in the dating market.
Women over 30 often feel pessimistic about finding a husband due to societal pressures and misconceptions.
The dating market does not entirely disadvantage women over 30, contrary to popular belief.
Most women eventually end up in a decent relationship, unlike the more common scenario of men falling through the cracks.
The concept of 'sexual marketplace value' changes for both men and women as they age.
Women can still find fulfilling relationships after 30, but may need to adjust their approach.
Men in their 20s, despite a relative disadvantage, learn to hustle and work hard to find relationships.
Women in their 30s need to adopt a more proactive strategy to find a partner.
The idea of waiting for a partner without effort is no longer viable for women as they age.
Historical context shows women initiated courtship indirectly, a strategy modern women can adapt.
Women need to find contemporary ways to 'drop their handkerchief' and invite the attention of men.
Effort and transformation are required for both men and women to be attractive to the opposite sex.
The age of a woman indicates the level of effort needed to find a partner.
Exceptions exist, but most women face challenges in the sexual marketplace as they age.
Women should remember the importance of acting while they still have the advantage.
The default mode for men is to wait until they have the advantage, while women should act.
Women over 30 must change their strategy and make an effort to engage the attention of the opposite sex.
Dr. Orion terban encourages women to understand the need for change and effort in their 30s.