Weekend Update: Trump's Abortion Ban Claims, O.J. Simpson Dies at 76 - SNL
Summary
TLDRThe video script is a satirical take on recent events, highlighting the reinstatement of a 1964 law banning abortions in Arizona, political figures' comments on the matter, and other news such as O.J. Simpson's death and an error in his obituary. It also mentions discussions between the U.S. and Japan on technology exchange, President Biden's student loan relief, and political maneuverings involving Mike Johnson and Senator Mitch McConnell.
Takeaways
- 📜 The Arizona Supreme Court reinstated a 1964 law banning doctors from performing abortions.
- 😅 Colin Jost jokes about being a white land owner and a free mason, highlighting the absurdity of reinstating old laws.
- 🚫 President Biden criticized the Arizona law for being cruel, despite having voted against it in the past.
- 🤔 Donald Trump supports states' rights on abortion laws, suggesting an even smaller governance unit for decision-making.
- 😂 Trump's false claim on Truth Social about Democrats supporting abortion up to the ninth month and beyond is debunked.
- 🏆 O.J. Simpson passed away at 76 due to prostate cancer, with a humorous conspiracy theory mentioned.
- 📰 The LA Times obituary for O.J. Simpson mistakenly mentioned Trump walking out of a correctional center.
- 🚄 President Biden discussed building a new bullet train system in America with Japan's Prime Minister, using advanced Japanese technology.
- 🍴 Japan requested advanced American technology in return, humorously referring to forks.
- 🎓 President Biden's student loan relief is reported to disproportionately help Latinos, earning him the nickname 'El Papa Desugar'.
- 🏛️ House Speaker Mike Johnson, facing challenges in his position, met with Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago, with a focus on his tired jaw.
Q & A
What did the Arizona Supreme Court reinstate recently?
-The Arizona Supreme Court reinstated a law from 1964 that bans doctors from performing abortions.
How does Michael Che feel about reinstating old laws?
-Michael Che humorously expresses that reinstating laws from 1864 might not be the worst for him as a white land owner and a proud freemason, but it is not ideal for adopting health care rules from a time where doctors prescribed prayer and cocaine.
What was President Biden's reaction to the reinstated abortion law in Arizona?
-President Biden criticized the reinstated abortion law, calling it cruel, which is the same thing he said when he voted against it in 1864.
What is Donald Trump's stance on abortion laws?
-Donald Trump supports the decision of abortion laws being made at the state level rather than by the federal government.
What humorous suggestion did Colin Jost make regarding abortion laws?
-Colin Jost humorously suggested taking the decision about what women can do with their bodies out of the government's hands and leaving it to husbands, who know best what they can do with them.
What false claim did Donald Trump make about Democrats on Truth Social?
-Donald Trump falsely claimed that Democrats support abortion up to the ninth month and beyond, saying the baby is executed after birth.
What notable error occurred in the LA Times obituary for O.J. Simpson?
-The LA Times mistakenly wrote that 'Trump walked out of the Love Law Correctional Center,' instead of 'O.J. Simpson,' indicating a possible autocorrect error.
What was discussed during President Biden's meeting with Japan's Prime Minister?
-During the meeting, they discussed building a new bullet train system in America using advanced Japanese technology.
What nickname did President Biden earn due to his student loan relief policy?
-President Biden earned the nickname 'El Papa Desugar' due to his billions of dollars of student loan relief, which disproportionately helps Latinos.
Why did House Speaker Mike Johnson travel to Mar-a-Lago to meet with Donald Trump?
-The specific reasons for the meeting are not mentioned in the script, but it is noted that Mike Johnson's position as House Speaker is in jeopardy.
What is Senator Mitch McConnell's stance on TikTok?
-Senator Mitch McConnell is in favor of a bill that would potentially ban TikTok in the U.S., humorously portrayed as the Grim Reaper tapping his watch.
Outlines
📜 Arizona Abortion Law and Political Satire
The paragraph discusses the reinstatement of a 1964 Arizona law banning doctors from performing abortions. It satirizes the situation by humorously comparing it to other outdated laws and practices, and mentions President Biden's criticism of the law. The summary also touches on Donald Trump's stance on abortion laws, suggesting a more decentralized approach, and includes a joke about leaving decisions to husbands. It then addresses a false claim made by Trump on Truth Social about Democratic support for late-term abortions. The paragraph concludes with a mention of O.J. Simpson's death and a humorous error in his obituary.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Weekend Update
💡Arizona Supreme Court
💡Abortion laws
💡Donald Trump
💡Joe Biden
💡O.J. Simpson
💡AutoCorrect
💡Bullet train
💡Student loan relief
💡House Speaker
💡TikTok
Highlights
The Arizona Supreme Court reinstated a 1964 law banning doctors from performing abortions.
Colin Jost jokes about reinstating laws from 1864, referencing his status as a white land owner and a free Mason.
The only two things doctors prescribed back then were prayer and cocaine, according to Jost.
President Biden criticized the Arizona law for being cruel, the same thing he said when he voted against it in 1864.
Donald Trump supports abortion laws being decided by states rather than the federal government.
Trump's false claim on Truth Social that Democrats support abortion up to the ninth month and beyond was mentioned.
O.J. Simpson passed away at 76 after battling prostate cancer.
There was a typo in The Los Angeles Times obituary for O.J. Simpson, mistakenly referencing Trump.
President Biden met with Japan's Prime Minister to discuss building a new bullet train system in America using Japanese technology.
Japan requested advanced American technology, specifically forks, in return.
President Biden's student loan relief is said to disproportionately help Latinos, earning him the nickname El Papa Desugar.
House Speaker Mike Johnson, whose position is in jeopardy, met with Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago.
Senator Mitch McConnell, known for his stance on TikTok, is in favor of a bill that could ban tick knock in the U.S.
A joke was made about McConnell and TikTok, likening him to the Grim Reaper tapping his watch.
Transcripts
>> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND
UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND
MICHAEL CHE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>> THANK YOU.
GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.
>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."
I'M MICHAEL CHE.
>> I'M COLIN JOST.
THE ARIZONA SUPREME COURT HAS
REINSTATED A LAW FROM 1964
BANNING DOCTORS FROM PERFORMING
ABORTIONS.
NOW, REINSTATING LAWS FROM 1864
ISN'T THE WORST THING FOR ME
BECAUSE I'M A WHITE LAND OWNER.
AND A PROUD FREE MASON.
BUT IT'S PROBABLY NOT GREAT TO
ADOPT HEALTH CARE RULES FROM A
TIME WHERE THE ONLY TWO THINGS
DOCTORS PRESCRIBED WERE PRAYER
AND COCAINE.
SATURDAY AND SUNDAY.
BACK THEN, IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO
KEEP YOUR BABY, YOUR ONLY OPTION
WAS TO GIVE IT TO RUMPLE STILL
SKIN.
PRESIDENT BIDEN CRITICIZED THE
LAW CALLING IT CRUEL, WHICH IS
THE SAME THING HE SAID WHEN HE
VOTED AGAINST IT IN 1864.
>> THIS WEEK, DONALD TRUMP SAID
THAT HE SUPPORTS ABORTION LAWS
BEING DECIDED BY THE STATES
INSTEAD OF THE FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT.
BUT WHY STOP THERE?
WHY NOT GO EVEN SMALLER AND
LEAVE IT UP TO THE COUNTY OR THE
CITY, OR EVEN BETTER, TAKE THE
GOVERNMENT OUT OF IT COMPLETELY
AND LEAVE THE CHOICE ABOUT WHAT
WOMEN CAN DO WITH THEIR BODIES
TO THE PERSON WHO KNOWS WHAT
THEY CAN DO WITH THEM THE BEST,
THEIR HUSBANDS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> IN A VIDEO ON TRUTH SOCIAL,
DONALD TRUMP FALSELY SAID THAT
DEMOCRATS SUPPORT ABORTION UP TO
THE NINTH MONTH AND BEYOND.
SAYING, THE BABY IS EXECUTED
AFTER BIRTH.
BUT HE ONLY THINKS THAT HAPPENS
BECAUSE WHEN TRUMP WAS A BABY, A
BUNCH OF TIME TRAVELERS SHOWED
UP TRYING TO KILL HIM.
>> O.J. SIMPSON DIED THIS WEEK
AT THE AGE OF 76 AFTER A BATTLE
WITH PROSTATE CANCER THAT WAS
PLANTED ON HIM BY THE LAPD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THERE WAS ACTUAL LISTEN AN
ERROR IN THE LA TIMES OBITUARY
FOR O.J. SIMPSON IN THE SECTION
ABOUT HIS PRISON TIME.
INSTEAD OF WRITING OJ WALKED OUT
OF THE LOVE LAW CORRECTIONAL
CENTER, THEY WROTE, TRUMP WALKED
OUT OF THE LOVE LAW CORRECTIONAL
CENTER A FREE MAN FOR THE FIRST
TIME IN NINE YEARS.
IT'S NOT A GREAT SIGN FOR TRUMP
THAT EVEN AUTO CORRECT THINKS HE
BELONGS IN JAIL.
>> PRESIDENT BIDEN MET WITH
JAPAN'S PRIME MINISTER WHERE
THEY DISCUSSED BUILDING A NEW
BULLET TRAIN SYSTEM IN AMERICA
USING ADVANCED JAPANESE
TECHNOLOGY.
IN RETURN, JAPAN REQUESTED THE
ADVANCED AMERICAN TECHNOLOGY OF
FORKS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> A NEW --
[ LAUGHTER ]
A NEW REPORT FROM THE WHITE
HOUSE CLAIMS THAT PRESIDENT
BIDEN'S BILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF
STUDENT LOAN RELIEF WILL
DISPROPORTIONATELY HELP LATINOS
WHICH HAS EARNED BIDEN THE
NICKNAME EL PAPA DESUGAR.
>> YESTERDAY, MIKE JOHNSON,
WHOSE POSITION AS HOUSE SPEAKER
IS IN JEOPARDY TRAVELED TO
MAR-A-LAGO FOR A MEETING WITH
DONALD TRUMP, AND BOY IS HIS JAW
TIRED.
ALL RIGHT.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> THAT GOT APPLAUSE?
THAT EVENTUALLY GOT APPLAUSE?
SENATOR MITCH McCONNELL SEEN
HERE BEING TOLD A BLACK WOMAN
MADE A COUNTRY ALBUM -- HAS --
HAS COME OUT IN FAVOR OF A BILL
THAT WOULD POTENTIALLY BAN TICK
KNOCK IN THE U.S.
OF COURSE, FOR McCONNELL, TIKTOK
IS JUST WHAT THE GRIM REAPER
SAYS WHILE TAPPING HIS WATCH.
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