Weekend Update: Trump's Abortion Ban Claims, O.J. Simpson Dies at 76 - SNL

Saturday Night Live
13 Apr 202404:13

Summary

TLDRThe video script is a satirical take on recent events, highlighting the reinstatement of a 1964 law banning abortions in Arizona, political figures' comments on the matter, and other news such as O.J. Simpson's death and an error in his obituary. It also mentions discussions between the U.S. and Japan on technology exchange, President Biden's student loan relief, and political maneuverings involving Mike Johnson and Senator Mitch McConnell.

Takeaways

  • 📜 The Arizona Supreme Court reinstated a 1964 law banning doctors from performing abortions.
  • 😅 Colin Jost jokes about being a white land owner and a free mason, highlighting the absurdity of reinstating old laws.
  • 🚫 President Biden criticized the Arizona law for being cruel, despite having voted against it in the past.
  • 🤔 Donald Trump supports states' rights on abortion laws, suggesting an even smaller governance unit for decision-making.
  • 😂 Trump's false claim on Truth Social about Democrats supporting abortion up to the ninth month and beyond is debunked.
  • 🏆 O.J. Simpson passed away at 76 due to prostate cancer, with a humorous conspiracy theory mentioned.
  • 📰 The LA Times obituary for O.J. Simpson mistakenly mentioned Trump walking out of a correctional center.
  • 🚄 President Biden discussed building a new bullet train system in America with Japan's Prime Minister, using advanced Japanese technology.
  • 🍴 Japan requested advanced American technology in return, humorously referring to forks.
  • 🎓 President Biden's student loan relief is reported to disproportionately help Latinos, earning him the nickname 'El Papa Desugar'.
  • 🏛️ House Speaker Mike Johnson, facing challenges in his position, met with Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago, with a focus on his tired jaw.

Q & A

  • What did the Arizona Supreme Court reinstate recently?

    -The Arizona Supreme Court reinstated a law from 1964 that bans doctors from performing abortions.

  • How does Michael Che feel about reinstating old laws?

    -Michael Che humorously expresses that reinstating laws from 1864 might not be the worst for him as a white land owner and a proud freemason, but it is not ideal for adopting health care rules from a time where doctors prescribed prayer and cocaine.

  • What was President Biden's reaction to the reinstated abortion law in Arizona?

    -President Biden criticized the reinstated abortion law, calling it cruel, which is the same thing he said when he voted against it in 1864.

  • What is Donald Trump's stance on abortion laws?

    -Donald Trump supports the decision of abortion laws being made at the state level rather than by the federal government.

  • What humorous suggestion did Colin Jost make regarding abortion laws?

    -Colin Jost humorously suggested taking the decision about what women can do with their bodies out of the government's hands and leaving it to husbands, who know best what they can do with them.

  • What false claim did Donald Trump make about Democrats on Truth Social?

    -Donald Trump falsely claimed that Democrats support abortion up to the ninth month and beyond, saying the baby is executed after birth.

  • What notable error occurred in the LA Times obituary for O.J. Simpson?

    -The LA Times mistakenly wrote that 'Trump walked out of the Love Law Correctional Center,' instead of 'O.J. Simpson,' indicating a possible autocorrect error.

  • What was discussed during President Biden's meeting with Japan's Prime Minister?

    -During the meeting, they discussed building a new bullet train system in America using advanced Japanese technology.

  • What nickname did President Biden earn due to his student loan relief policy?

    -President Biden earned the nickname 'El Papa Desugar' due to his billions of dollars of student loan relief, which disproportionately helps Latinos.

  • Why did House Speaker Mike Johnson travel to Mar-a-Lago to meet with Donald Trump?

    -The specific reasons for the meeting are not mentioned in the script, but it is noted that Mike Johnson's position as House Speaker is in jeopardy.

  • What is Senator Mitch McConnell's stance on TikTok?

    -Senator Mitch McConnell is in favor of a bill that would potentially ban TikTok in the U.S., humorously portrayed as the Grim Reaper tapping his watch.

Outlines

00:00

📜 Arizona Abortion Law and Political Satire

The paragraph discusses the reinstatement of a 1964 Arizona law banning doctors from performing abortions. It satirizes the situation by humorously comparing it to other outdated laws and practices, and mentions President Biden's criticism of the law. The summary also touches on Donald Trump's stance on abortion laws, suggesting a more decentralized approach, and includes a joke about leaving decisions to husbands. It then addresses a false claim made by Trump on Truth Social about Democratic support for late-term abortions. The paragraph concludes with a mention of O.J. Simpson's death and a humorous error in his obituary.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Weekend Update

Weekend Update is a recurring segment on the television show Saturday Night Live (SNL). It is a satirical news segment that covers current events and political news, often with a humorous twist. In the context of the script, it is the show's format where Colin Jost and Michael Che provide commentary on recent news stories, using wit and sarcasm to engage the audience.

💡Arizona Supreme Court

The Arizona Supreme Court is the highest court in the state of Arizona, responsible for interpreting and applying the law in legal cases within the state. In the script, it is mentioned as having reinstated a 1964 law banning doctors from performing abortions, which is a significant legal action with implications for reproductive rights and healthcare in Arizona.

💡Abortion laws

Abortion laws are legal regulations that govern the circumstances under which abortion procedures can be carried out. These laws vary widely by jurisdiction and can be a source of significant political and social debate. In the script, the discussion of abortion laws is used to satirize the political discourse surrounding reproductive rights and the role of government in personal healthcare decisions.

💡Donald Trump

Donald Trump is an American politician and businessman who served as the 45th President of the United States from 2017 to 2021. In the context of the script, he is mentioned in relation to his statements on abortion and other political topics, often with a satirical or critical tone.

💡Joe Biden

Joe Biden is an American politician who is the 46th President of the United States. In the script, President Biden is mentioned in relation to his policies and statements, often with a humorous or critical angle, reflecting the satirical nature of the show.

💡O.J. Simpson

O.J. Simpson is a former American football player and actor who was famously acquitted in a highly publicized murder trial in the 1990s. In the script, his death is mentioned with a comedic twist, reflecting the show's approach to blending real-life events with humor.

💡AutoCorrect

AutoCorrect is a feature in software that automatically corrects spelling errors as a user types. It often uses predictive text to suggest corrections based on common words and phrases. In the script, it is humorously mentioned as thinking that Trump belongs in jail, showcasing the show's use of everyday technology quirks to poke fun at political figures.

💡Bullet train

A bullet train is a high-speed railway system, known for its fast speeds and efficient service. The term 'bullet train' is often used to describe such trains due to their aerodynamic design, which is similar to a bullet. In the script, it is mentioned in a humorous context, comparing the advanced technology of Japan with the perceived simplicity of American technology, such as forks.

💡Student loan relief

Student loan relief refers to policies or programs designed to assist individuals with the financial burden of student loans, often through forgiveness, lower interest rates, or more manageable repayment plans. In the script, it is mentioned as a policy initiative by President Biden that is said to disproportionately benefit Latinos, leading to the President's nickname 'El Papa Desugar'.

💡House Speaker

The House Speaker is the presiding officer of the United States House of Representatives, responsible for overseeing proceedings and representing the House in its relations with the Senate and other authorities. In the script, the mention of the House Speaker's position being in jeopardy adds a layer of political intrigue and humor to the commentary.

💡TikTok

TikTok is a social media platform known for its short-form videos, often featuring music, dancing, and other creative content. It has gained immense popularity, especially among younger users. In the script, TikTok is humorously associated with the 'grim reaper' and Senator Mitch McConnell's supposed support for a bill to ban it, reflecting the show's ability to inject humor into discussions about social media and its impact on society.

Highlights

The Arizona Supreme Court reinstated a 1964 law banning doctors from performing abortions.

Colin Jost jokes about reinstating laws from 1864, referencing his status as a white land owner and a free Mason.

The only two things doctors prescribed back then were prayer and cocaine, according to Jost.

President Biden criticized the Arizona law for being cruel, the same thing he said when he voted against it in 1864.

Donald Trump supports abortion laws being decided by states rather than the federal government.

Trump's false claim on Truth Social that Democrats support abortion up to the ninth month and beyond was mentioned.

O.J. Simpson passed away at 76 after battling prostate cancer.

There was a typo in The Los Angeles Times obituary for O.J. Simpson, mistakenly referencing Trump.

President Biden met with Japan's Prime Minister to discuss building a new bullet train system in America using Japanese technology.

Japan requested advanced American technology, specifically forks, in return.

President Biden's student loan relief is said to disproportionately help Latinos, earning him the nickname El Papa Desugar.

House Speaker Mike Johnson, whose position is in jeopardy, met with Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago.

Senator Mitch McConnell, known for his stance on TikTok, is in favor of a bill that could ban tick knock in the U.S.

A joke was made about McConnell and TikTok, likening him to the Grim Reaper tapping his watch.

Transcripts

00:00

>> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND

00:03

UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND

00:05

MICHAEL CHE.

00:08

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

00:15

>>> THANK YOU.

00:15

GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.

00:17

>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."

00:18

I'M MICHAEL CHE.

00:19

>> I'M COLIN JOST.

00:23

THE ARIZONA SUPREME COURT HAS

00:24

REINSTATED A LAW FROM 1964

00:27

BANNING DOCTORS FROM PERFORMING

00:29

ABORTIONS.

00:30

NOW, REINSTATING LAWS FROM 1864

00:33

ISN'T THE WORST THING FOR ME

00:34

BECAUSE I'M A WHITE LAND OWNER.

00:37

AND A PROUD FREE MASON.

00:39

BUT IT'S PROBABLY NOT GREAT TO

00:41

ADOPT HEALTH CARE RULES FROM A

00:43

TIME WHERE THE ONLY TWO THINGS

00:45

DOCTORS PRESCRIBED WERE PRAYER

00:47

AND COCAINE.

00:48

SATURDAY AND SUNDAY.

00:52

BACK THEN, IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO

00:54

KEEP YOUR BABY, YOUR ONLY OPTION

00:56

WAS TO GIVE IT TO RUMPLE STILL

01:02

SKIN.

01:03

PRESIDENT BIDEN CRITICIZED THE

01:04

LAW CALLING IT CRUEL, WHICH IS

01:05

THE SAME THING HE SAID WHEN HE

01:07

VOTED AGAINST IT IN 1864.

01:09

>> THIS WEEK, DONALD TRUMP SAID

01:11

THAT HE SUPPORTS ABORTION LAWS

01:13

BEING DECIDED BY THE STATES

01:15

INSTEAD OF THE FEDERAL

01:16

GOVERNMENT.

01:17

BUT WHY STOP THERE?

01:18

WHY NOT GO EVEN SMALLER AND

01:20

LEAVE IT UP TO THE COUNTY OR THE

01:22

CITY, OR EVEN BETTER, TAKE THE

01:24

GOVERNMENT OUT OF IT COMPLETELY

01:25

AND LEAVE THE CHOICE ABOUT WHAT

01:26

WOMEN CAN DO WITH THEIR BODIES

01:28

TO THE PERSON WHO KNOWS WHAT

01:30

THEY CAN DO WITH THEM THE BEST,

01:31

THEIR HUSBANDS.

01:33

[ LAUGHTER ]

01:38

>> IN A VIDEO ON TRUTH SOCIAL,

01:41

DONALD TRUMP FALSELY SAID THAT

01:43

DEMOCRATS SUPPORT ABORTION UP TO

01:44

THE NINTH MONTH AND BEYOND.

01:46

SAYING, THE BABY IS EXECUTED

01:48

AFTER BIRTH.

01:50

BUT HE ONLY THINKS THAT HAPPENS

01:53

BECAUSE WHEN TRUMP WAS A BABY, A

01:55

BUNCH OF TIME TRAVELERS SHOWED

01:56

UP TRYING TO KILL HIM.

01:59

>> O.J. SIMPSON DIED THIS WEEK

02:01

AT THE AGE OF 76 AFTER A BATTLE

02:05

WITH PROSTATE CANCER THAT WAS

02:07

PLANTED ON HIM BY THE LAPD.

02:08

[ LAUGHTER ]

02:12

>> THERE WAS ACTUAL LISTEN AN

02:14

ERROR IN THE LA TIMES OBITUARY

02:16

FOR O.J. SIMPSON IN THE SECTION

02:18

ABOUT HIS PRISON TIME.

02:19

INSTEAD OF WRITING OJ WALKED OUT

02:22

OF THE LOVE LAW CORRECTIONAL

02:24

CENTER, THEY WROTE, TRUMP WALKED

02:26

OUT OF THE LOVE LAW CORRECTIONAL

02:29

CENTER A FREE MAN FOR THE FIRST

02:31

TIME IN NINE YEARS.

02:32

IT'S NOT A GREAT SIGN FOR TRUMP

02:34

THAT EVEN AUTO CORRECT THINKS HE

02:36

BELONGS IN JAIL.

02:37

>> PRESIDENT BIDEN MET WITH

02:39

JAPAN'S PRIME MINISTER WHERE

02:40

THEY DISCUSSED BUILDING A NEW

02:42

BULLET TRAIN SYSTEM IN AMERICA

02:44

USING ADVANCED JAPANESE

02:47

TECHNOLOGY.

02:47

IN RETURN, JAPAN REQUESTED THE

02:50

ADVANCED AMERICAN TECHNOLOGY OF

02:50

FORKS.

02:52

[ LAUGHTER ]

02:57

>> A NEW --

02:58

[ LAUGHTER ]

02:58

A NEW REPORT FROM THE WHITE

02:59

HOUSE CLAIMS THAT PRESIDENT

03:01

BIDEN'S BILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF

03:03

STUDENT LOAN RELIEF WILL

03:06

DISPROPORTIONATELY HELP LATINOS

03:08

WHICH HAS EARNED BIDEN THE

03:10

NICKNAME EL PAPA DESUGAR.

03:14

>> YESTERDAY, MIKE JOHNSON,

03:16

WHOSE POSITION AS HOUSE SPEAKER

03:18

IS IN JEOPARDY TRAVELED TO

03:21

MAR-A-LAGO FOR A MEETING WITH

03:22

DONALD TRUMP, AND BOY IS HIS JAW

03:23

TIRED.

03:24

ALL RIGHT.

03:28

[ APPLAUSE ]

03:31

>> THAT GOT APPLAUSE?

03:32

THAT EVENTUALLY GOT APPLAUSE?

03:38

SENATOR MITCH McCONNELL SEEN

03:41

HERE BEING TOLD A BLACK WOMAN

03:42

MADE A COUNTRY ALBUM -- HAS --

03:48

HAS COME OUT IN FAVOR OF A BILL

03:52

THAT WOULD POTENTIALLY BAN TICK

03:52

KNOCK IN THE U.S.

03:53

OF COURSE, FOR McCONNELL, TIKTOK

03:55

IS JUST WHAT THE GRIM REAPER

03:57

SAYS WHILE TAPPING HIS WATCH.