Republicans Flood Trump's Hush Money Trial to Attack Judge Since He Can't | The Tonight Show

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
16 May 202407:43

Summary

TLDRIn this humorous skit, 'The Tonight Show' hosts a fictional interview with former President Trump, satirizing his hush-money trial and political antics. The mock interview is filled with absurd responses, such as Trump's choice of Hannibal Lecter as a running mate and a debate with President Biden in nursing homes. The segment also pokes fun at Trump attending his son's graduation and the dynamics of a presidential debate. The show's 'WePost' segment allows the audience to vote on social media posts, with the unsubscribe email joke receiving the most approval.

Takeaways

  • 📺 The script is from 'The Tonight Show', a popular late-night talk show.
  • 🚫 Former President Trump is on a gag order, which has led to Republicans defending him outside the courthouse.
  • 🤔 Trump is portrayed as dismissive and uncooperative during a hypothetical interview about his trial.
  • 😴 Trump finds his trial dull and uninteresting, even falling asleep.
  • 💬 A humorous interaction is depicted where Trump speaks through a ventriloquist dummy named Roger.
  • 🎓 Trump is granted a day off from his trial to attend his son Barron's graduation.
  • 🤣 Trump is jokingly suggested as a potential running mate for Hannibal Lecter and plans to debate President Biden.
  • 🏠 Trump's trial is humorously relocated to nursing homes and retirement centers for a debate.
  • 👨‍⚖️ Trump jokingly instructs Barron to become a judge to find him not guilty.
  • 📦 Lego announces a new 'Lord of the Rings' fortress set, which is a humorously expensive and niche product.
  • 🗳️ A segment called 'WePost' involves audience voting on social media posts, with one post about unsubscribing from emails winning.

Q & A

  • What is the setting of the script?

    -The script is set in a fictional scenario of 'The Tonight Show' where a host is discussing the events surrounding former president Trump's hush-money trial and other humorous topics.

  • What is the gag order mentioned in the script?

    -The gag order is a legal order prohibiting certain people from speaking publicly about ongoing court proceedings, which is humorously referenced in the script as a reason for Republicans attacking the judge and prosecutors on Trump's behalf.

  • What is the humorous take on Trump's trial in the script?

    -The script humorously suggests that Trump's trial is so dull that he would eventually show up with a ventriloquist dummy named Roger to make it more entertaining.

  • What is the joke about Stormy Daniels in the script?

    -The script humorously implies that Trump wakes up and feels like Superman when Stormy Daniels, an adult film actress, shows up in his trial.

  • What is the duration of Trump's encounter with Miss Daniels mentioned in the script?

    -The script humorously states that Trump's encounter with Miss Daniels was 'Just like 10 seconds.'

  • Why is Trump taking a day off from his trial in the script?

    -In the script, Trump is taking a day off from his trial to attend his son Barron's high-school graduation.

  • What is the humorous comment about Trump's son Barron in the script?

    -The script humorously suggests that Trump has already told Barron to go to law school, become a judge, and find him not guilty.

  • What is the joke about Trump's running mate in the script?

    -The script humorously suggests that Trump's running mate could be Hannibal Lecter, a fictional character known as a cannibalistic serial killer.

  • What is the humorous take on the presidential debate in the script?

    -The script humorously suggests that the presidential debate might be held in nursing homes and retirement centers, and that RFK Jr. could somehow find a way to participate even though he wasn't invited.

  • What is 'WePost' in the script?

    -'WePost' is a segment in the script where the host of the show presents different social media posts to the audience, who then vote on whether they like each post or not.

  • What is the final decision made in the 'WePost' segment in the script?

    -The final decision made in the 'WePost' segment is to post the one that received the most likes, which is the post about unsubscribing from getting e-mails.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Tonight Show's Trump Interview Skit

The first paragraph introduces a humorous skit from 'The Tonight Show' where the host welcomes the audience and discusses the ongoing trial of former president Trump. The skit involves a gag order leading to Republicans defending Trump outside the courthouse. It humorously suggests that Trump might run out of supporters and use a ventriloquist act to continue his defense. The host then pretends to interview Trump, asking him about his trial, his reaction to Stormy Daniels' appearance, the length of their encounter, his plans for attending his son Barron's graduation, his presidential campaign, and a debate with President Biden. The segment is filled with satire and exaggerated responses typical of a comedy show.

05:06

😄 WePost Social Media Voting Segment

The second paragraph outlines a segment of the show called 'WePost,' where the host engages the audience in a social media voting activity. The host presents five different social media posts for the audience to vote on using clickers at their seats. The posts range from humorous to absurd, and the audience's reactions are mixed, with some receiving lukewarm responses and others getting more laughs. The host maintains a light-hearted tone throughout, acknowledging that not all posts are met with the same level of enthusiasm. The winning post is announced, and the host commits to posting it during the break, encouraging viewers to repost it online.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡The Tonight Show

The Tonight Show is a long-running American late-night television talk show, known for its humor and celebrity interviews. In the context of this script, it sets the stage for the satirical and humorous content that follows, as the host addresses current events and political figures in a comedic manner.

💡Hush-money trial

A hush-money trial refers to a legal proceeding involving allegations of paying off individuals to keep quiet about certain matters, often with the implication of impropriety. In the script, this term is used to mock former President Trump's legal troubles, suggesting a fictional scenario where Republicans defend him in court.

💡Ventriloquist dummy

A ventriloquist dummy is a puppet used by a ventriloquist to perform acts of ventriloquism, where the ventriloquist throws their voice to make it appear as if the dummy is speaking. In the script, the mention of a ventriloquist dummy is part of a joke, implying that Trump is running out of supporters and would resort to using a dummy to speak for him.

💡Stormy Daniels

Stormy Daniels is an adult film actress who was involved in a high-profile legal dispute with former President Trump, related to allegations of a non-disclosure agreement and hush money. The script humorously refers to her appearance in the context of Trump's trial, using her name to add a layer of satire to the fictional scenario.

💡Barron Trump

Barron Trump is the youngest son of former President Trump. In the script, he is mentioned in a joke about Trump attending his son's high-school graduation, which is used to create a humorous situation where Trump jokingly asks Barron to become a judge to find him not guilty.

💡Hannibal Lecter

Hannibal Lecter is a fictional character from the novels by Thomas Harris and their film adaptations, known as a brilliant psychiatrist and cannibalistic serial killer. The script humorously suggests him as a potential running mate for Trump, using the character's notoriety to create a darkly comedic scenario.

💡Presidential debate

A presidential debate is a live event where candidates for the presidency discuss and debate various topics to inform voters about their positions and policies. In the script, the mention of a debate, including President Biden and a fictional location at nursing homes and retirement centers, is used to poke fun at the political process.

💡WePost

WePost appears to be a segment of the show where the audience votes on social media posts to decide which one should be shared. It represents a participatory and interactive element of the show, where the audience's input directly influences the content that is posted online.

💡RFK Jr.

RFK Jr. refers to Robert F. Kennedy Jr., a political activist and environmental lawyer. In the script, he is humorously mentioned as potentially participating in a presidential debate despite not being invited, suggesting a scenario where he finds a way to insert himself into the event.

💡Lord of the Rings fortress set

The Lord of the Rings fortress set mentioned in the script is a reference to a new product from Lego, a popular toy company known for its construction toys. The mention of this product, along with its price and piece count, serves as a setup for a joke about an expensive and potentially awkward first date conversation.

Highlights

Welcome to 'The Tonight Show' with a humorous take on the day's events.

Satirical commentary on former President Trump's hush-money trial and Republican reactions.

Trump's interview on the show, where he humorously refuses to tell the truth and shares his thoughts on the trial.

Comedic exchange about Stormy Daniels' appearance in the trial and Trump's reaction.

Joke about Trump attending his son Barron's graduation and a humorous suggestion for Barron's future.

Trump's absurd choice of Hannibal Lecter as a running mate in the presidential campaign.

Trump's debate with President Biden and the humorous location suggestions.

Trump's foreign policy plans humorously mentioned with a slip of the tongue.

Announcement of Trump attending multiple graduations in one week, adding to the satirical tone.

RFK Jr.'s potential involvement in the presidential debate, adding an unexpected twist.

News about Supreme Court justices participating in a charity race and the humorous aftermath.

Lego's new 'Lord of the Rings' fortress set announcement with a comedic take on its price.

Introduction to 'WePost', a segment where the audience votes on social media posts.

Humor in the audience's reaction to the first 'WePost' option featuring Colonel Sanders and General Tso.

Comedic interaction about using a paper towel dispenser, leading to a vote on the second 'WePost'.

Audience's decisive rejection of the third 'WePost' option, adding to the segment's humor.

High engagement with the fourth 'WePost' about unsubscribing from emails, winning the audience's favor.

Final 'WePost' joke about customer service interactions, ending the segment on a humorous note.

Transcripts

00:00

-Welcome, everybody.

00:02

Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show"!

00:04

You made it. You're here. Thank you for watching at home.

00:07

Well, guys, it was another day of former president Trump's

00:10

hush-money trial.

00:12

And because of his gag order,

00:14

a bunch of Republicans showed up at the courthouse

00:16

and attacked the judge and prosecutors for him.

00:23

They're saying, by next week, Trump will run out of supporters

00:26

and just show up with a ventriloquist dummy.

00:28

"Hey, Roger.

00:29

Roger, what do you think of the judge?

00:32

Totally corrupt. I wouldn't say that.

00:36

They're great American people. It's rigged.

00:39

Why would you say that, Roger?"

00:43

Well, Trump's trial has been going on for weeks,

00:45

and he actually agreed to join us for an interview about it.

00:48

So right now, we're going to ask him a few questions.

00:50

Thank you for talking to us, Mr. Trump.

00:52

Do you swear to tell the truth,

00:53

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

00:55

-No, no, no, no, no.

00:56

-Okay, well, do your best.

01:02

What have you thought of your criminal trial so far?

01:04

-I was starting to fall asleep watching.

01:06

-Okay. Well, it can be a little dull.

01:10

How do you feel when Stormy Daniels showed up?

01:13

-I woke up and I said, "I feel great.

01:15

Boom! Superman." -Alright.

01:16

Whoa. Alright.

01:19

Just for the record, how long was your encounter

01:22

with Miss Daniels back in 2006?

01:24

-Just like 10 seconds.

01:26

-Okay. Got it.

01:27

Now, I heard that, tomorrow, you're getting

01:32

the day off of court to go to your son Barron's graduation.

01:35

Are you and Barron Close?

01:36

-Barney is a fantastic guy.

01:38

-That's close enough. Close enough.

01:42

You're also campaigning for president.

01:44

If you had to decide today, who would be your running mate?

01:47

-Hannibal Lecter is a wonderful man.

01:51

-Okay, very good.

01:53

And I saw you just agreed to debate President Biden.

01:55

Do you know where those debates will be held?

01:58

-Uh, nursing homes and retirement centers.

02:02

-Okay, okay. Before you go,

02:05

do you want to say anything about your plans for

02:07

a foreign policy in places like Saudi Arabia and Russia?

02:09

-We are a nation that just recently heard

02:12

that Saudi Arabia and Russia will redur-- uh...

02:17

-Okay. Well, thank you very much.

02:20

I know you're very busy. Thank you very, very much.

02:22

Thank you. That was great.

02:26

He's very busy. A lot of pressure.

02:28

Under a lot of pressure.

02:29

Speaking of Trump,

02:31

tomorrow, he's getting the day off from his hush-money trial

02:33

to go to his son Barron's high-school graduation.

02:35

Yep, Trump's going to Barron's high-school graduation,

02:38

and next week, he's going to Eric's.

02:42

Trump already told Barron, "Next, I need you to go to

02:44

law school, become a judge, and find me not guilty."

02:48

Well, everyone's still talking about the presidential debate,

02:51

and, apparently, even though RFK Jr.

02:53

wasn't invited to participate, there's still a chance

02:55

he could qualify for it.

02:58

I'm guessing, one way or another,

02:59

he's going to worm his way in there.

03:05

[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪

03:10

Yeah, Biden, Trump, and RFK Jr.

03:12

That might be the first debate where the winner is

03:13

whoever doesn't speak.

03:17

Just don't say anything.

03:19

I saw that several members of Congress

03:21

and three Supreme Court justices

03:22

just ran in a 3-mile race for charity.

03:25

Right now, the Supreme Court justices

03:27

are experiencing the case of Chafing vs. Nipples.

03:31

Well, listen to this.

03:32

Lego just announced a new 5,000-piece

03:34

"Lord of the Rings" fortress set that costs $460.

03:39

Anyway, if you're looking for a line to end a first date,

03:42

that ought to do it there.

03:44

Finally, guys, it is Thursday. It is time for "WePost."

03:47

Here we go.

03:48

-♪ WePost ♪

03:51

♪♪

03:54

♪ WePost ♪

03:55

-Thank you, Roots.

03:57

Welcome to "WePost."

03:59

This is where we, as a group, decide something

04:01

that we should all post on socials.

04:03

I'm going to show you five different posts,

04:05

and we're all going to vote on

04:06

whether you like each one or not.

04:08

You all have voting clickers at your seats?

04:10

Yep. Now, you can vote for all of these if you like.

04:13

You could vote for none of them.

04:14

Whatever you want. Have a good time.

04:16

We're going to see the results live.

04:17

Higgins, you have your clickers. Roots, you have your clickers.

04:20

I'm going to post whichever one gets

04:21

the most likes from all of you.

04:23

Because it's not a MePost. It's a WePost.

04:26

Yeah. Alright. You guys ready for this?

04:28

[ Cheers and applause ] Alright.

04:30

The first post is...

04:36

It's interesting. You never know.

04:38

Yeah, Colonel Sanders and General Tso.

04:41

Alright, here we go. Cast your vote.

04:43

Thumbs up or thumbs down.

04:45

The votes are in. Let's see the results.

04:48

Okay. All right. Lukewarm. All right.

04:50

Very honest audience tonight. Okay, good.

04:53

They're not gonna let me off easy.

04:55

No, no, no, no, not gonna let me off easy.

04:57

They're like, "Eh, it's okay." Yeah.

04:59

All right, let's try this next one. It says...

05:06

Kind of the same feeling.

05:07

You get that same feeling. -That same rush of adrenaline.

05:10

-Yeah. A little rush of adrenaline there.

05:14

I'm going to vote yes just to be nice.

05:15

-I've done it. -You've done it?

05:17

-I've definitely done it. -Yeah.

05:19

Do you stick your hand into the dispenser

05:21

and just grab... -I take the whole thing.

05:23

-Yeah. Me too. Yeah. -I've robbed a bank.

05:26

-Oh, wow! Then you can't compare, yeah.

05:29

Let's see the results here.

05:32

All right. Not bad. A little bit better.

05:34

Not bad. We're warming up to the idea.

05:36

Okay. At least I know the thumbs-up clicker works.

05:40

Okay, good.

05:41

Let's try this next one here. It says...

05:48

Yeah! That's the option -- go big or go home.

05:51

-Yeah. -Come on, man, go big.

05:54

♪♪

05:56

Let's see the results on this one.

05:58

Are we going to go big? No!

05:59

We're going to go home. Alright, I understand.

06:02

Alright, again, they don't necessarily get funnier.

06:05

I just will say that. Just so you know.

06:08

We have a couple more left. Alright, here we go.

06:11

Next up, it says...

06:19

Cast your votes on this one.

06:21

This one hits close to home. -Yeah, it's true.

06:24

-This one, I feel like if I didn't write it,

06:26

I feel like I inspired it. -Yeah.

06:28

-Yeah, alright, let's see the results on this one.

06:30

I feel this one might...

06:31

Whoa-ho-ho!

06:34

16 people!

06:35

[ Cheers and applause ]

06:37

♪♪

06:40

16! -Whoa!

06:42

-Only 16 people did not like that joke.

06:44

-Wow! 179.

06:47

-I can't tell who didn't like it.

06:48

Alright, here we go. The last one here is...

06:56

That's how you do it.

06:57

That's how you know. You go...

07:00

"Hi, are you enjoying everything?"

07:01

"[ Mumbles ]"

07:02

[ Laughter ]

07:04

All right, let's see the results here.

07:06

Whoa! Not bad.

07:10

No, but the winner is number four.

07:12

This is the winner right there. [ Bell dinging ]

07:14

Unsubscribe getting e-mails.

07:17

I'm going to post this during the break.

07:18

If you happen to see it online, give that WePost a repost.