An Incorrect Summary of Elden Ring | Rot & Gold

Max0r
27 May 202415:55

Summary

TLDRIn this humorous and adventurous playthrough of Elden Ring, the player embarks on a quest to slay God, facing formidable foes like the fire giant and dragon lord. The journey takes them through treacherous landscapes, including a snowfield teeming with wildlife and a mysterious Dark World. The highlight is the encounter with Melenia, Blade of Mika, a challenging boss known for her speed, endurance, and relentless attacks. The player's narrative is filled with wit and sarcasm, making light of the game's intense and sometimes frustrating moments, all while showcasing the game's rich lore and immersive environments.

Takeaways

  • 🎮 The script is a humorous commentary on a playthrough of the game 'Elden Ring', where the player embarks on a quest to kill God.
  • 🔥 The player encounters various challenging enemies, including the mighty fire giant and the dragon lord.
  • 🌲 The game features a mysterious and mythical location known as the 'Halig Tree', which is a sanctuary for various characters.
  • 🤣 The commentary includes comedic elements and sarcasm, such as the player's struggle with navigating the game without a map and the absurdity of certain in-game scenarios.
  • 🐺 The game world is filled with diverse creatures, from existential nihilist rats to wolves and the putrid albinar Grace.
  • 🕹️ The player experiences technical difficulties and frustrations, such as blindness and hallucinations, which add to the humor.
  • 🏰 The script describes a journey through various landscapes, including a snowfield, a village of disabled women, and a town called Ordina.
  • 🌌 The game has a 'Dark World' with invisible ninjas and other challenges, adding to the game's difficulty and intrigue.
  • 🛡️ The player faces a boss fight with a character named Melenia, the Blade of Mika, which is described as an extremely challenging and punishing encounter.
  • 🤖 The script also mentions the player's interaction with the game's AI and mechanics, such as healing and dodging enemy attacks.
  • 🏆 The player's ultimate goal is to conquer the challenging boss fights and achieve victory, despite the game's high level of difficulty.

Q & A

  • What was the main objective of the hero in the last episode of Elden Ring?

    -The main objective of the hero was to kill God, a task that led them through various challenges and hellscapes.

  • What creatures did the hero encounter during their journey in Elden Ring?

    -The hero encountered the mighty fire giant, the dragon lord, the Avatar of death, the sanguin Lord of blood and incest, and various other creatures.

  • What is the significance of the mythical Halig Tree in the script?

    -The mythical Halig Tree is a place of shelter for the forgotten and the forlorn, and it is a destination the hero had to reach.

  • How does the script describe the environment of the Consecrated Snowfield?

    -The Consecrated Snowfield is described as a beautiful and secluded sanctuary for the lost and forlorn, with various wildlife and a cool portal.

  • What is the script's commentary on the difficulty of navigating the game without guidance?

    -The script humorously comments on the challenge of navigating the game without Google Maps, suggesting it's like wandering aimlessly through a winter storm.

  • What is the tone of the script when describing the game's environments and challenges?

    -The tone of the script is humorous and sarcastic, with the narrator making light of the game's difficult and sometimes absurd challenges.

  • What is the significance of the village of disabled women mentioned in the script?

    -The village of disabled women is a part of the game's setting that the script uses to highlight the game's dark humor and the player's interactions with NPCs.

  • What is the script's description of the Dark World in Elden Ring?

    -The Dark World is described as a place that isn't really bad if you don't run into the invisible ninjas, suggesting a challenging and mysterious environment.

  • How does the script characterize the boss fight with Melenia, Blade of Mika?

    -The script characterizes the boss fight with Melenia as extremely challenging, requiring absolute perfection and punishing the player for every mistake.

  • What is the final boss mentioned in the script, and why is it considered a significant challenge?

    -The final boss mentioned is Melenia, Blade of Mika. It is considered a significant challenge due to its fast attacks, long combos, and the ability to gain health after every hit.

Outlines

00:00

🔥 The Quest for Divine Conquest

The script opens with a recap of the previous episode of Elden Ring, which aired nine months prior. The protagonist embarks on a noble yet daunting mission to slay God, leading them through treacherous peaks, formidable challenges, and harrowing hellscapes. The journey includes battles with formidable foes such as a fire giant, a dragon lord, and a mysterious entity referred to as 'plac.' The protagonist also encounters the Lord of Blood and Incest, and traverses the secret trails of the Forsaken to reach the mythical Halig Tree. The narrative is filled with humor and sarcasm, as the player navigates through a winter storm and a consecrated snowfield, encountering various creatures and portals along the way.

05:01

🏰 The Haling Tree: Sanctuary and Strife

The second paragraph delves into the exploration of the Haling Tree, a sanctuary for the forgotten and the forlorn, and a home to giant ants. The protagonist, accompanied by a character named Kyote Peterson, navigates through a town that resembles a McDonald's jungle gym, highlighting the absurdity and danger of the game's environment. The script humorously addresses the challenges of navigating the town's infrastructure, such as the lack of railings and the presence of death cannons. The protagonist also encounters various characters and creatures, including a boss fight with a character named Loretta, who is described as having an overwhelming amount of magic. The narrative continues with the protagonist's descent into the city of El Fail Brace, where they face more trials and tribulations.

10:01

🗡 The Relentless Battle with Melenia, Blade of Mika

The third paragraph focuses on an intense and challenging boss fight against Melenia, the Blade of Mika. The boss is characterized as fast, resilient, and possessing long chain combos, making the battle a test of endurance and precision. The protagonist struggles with the boss's unpredictable attack patterns and the high stakes of each mistake, which can lead to significant setbacks. The script humorously describes the boss's confidence and the player's attempts to outmaneuver her, culminating in a climactic battle that demands absolute perfection from the player. The narrative emphasizes the difficulty and the player's determination to overcome this formidable adversary.

15:04

🎶 The Scarlet Rod: A Foreshadowing of Horror

The final paragraph is a brief musical interlude, setting the stage for an impending battle with the Scarlet Rod. The script teases the audience with the promise of a horrific confrontation, suggesting that the protagonist is about to face a formidable and terrifying foe. The music builds anticipation for the upcoming challenge, leaving the audience eager to witness the outcome of this climactic battle.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Elden Ring

Elden Ring is a popular action role-playing game developed by FromSoftware. In the context of the video, it is the setting where the protagonist embarks on a quest with the ambitious goal of 'killing God.' The game is known for its challenging gameplay and intricate world-building, which are central to the video's narrative.

💡Mighty Fire Giant

The Mighty Fire Giant appears to be a formidable enemy or boss character that the player encounters in their journey within Elden Ring. This term highlights the game's mythical and fantastical elements, as well as the scale of challenges the player must overcome.

💡Dragon Lord

The Dragon Lord, specifically mentioned as 'Plac,' is another powerful adversary in the game. This concept underscores the video's theme of facing monumental and legendary creatures, which is a key aspect of the gameplay and storytelling in Elden Ring.

💡Avatar of Death

The Avatar of Death represents a personification of mortality and is likely a significant boss or enemy within the game's lore. This term is used to illustrate the extreme danger and the high stakes that the player faces in their quest.

💡Sanguin Lord of Blood

The Sanguin Lord of Blood is a character that seems to embody blood and possibly violence or incest, according to the script's humorous and cryptic description. This keyword contributes to the dark and complex narrative of Elden Ring, adding layers to the game's world and its characters.

💡Halig Tree

The Halig Tree is referred to as a mythical place in the script, suggesting it is a significant location within the game's world. It could be a central landmark or a symbol of importance to the game's lore, and reaching it is likely a major goal for the player.

💡Consecrated Snowfield

The Consecrated Snowfield is likely a specific area or level within Elden Ring, characterized by its snowy and possibly sacred environment. This keyword helps to paint a picture of the diverse landscapes and climates the player encounters on their journey.

💡Ordina

Ordina is mentioned as a town guarding a mysterious magic gate and is home to a parallel universe. This suggests that Ordina is a location of significance within the game, possibly with unique mechanics or storyline elements that differentiate it from other areas.

💡Dark World

The Dark World seems to be an alternate dimension or realm within Elden Ring, possibly filled with danger and unique challenges. This concept adds depth to the game's exploration and world-building, offering a contrast to the main world.

💡Melenia, Blade of Mika

Melenia, Blade of Mika is portrayed as a challenging boss character in the game. The script humorously highlights the difficulty of this encounter, emphasizing the game's punishing difficulty and the player's determination to overcome it.

💡Scarlet

The term 'Scarlet' is used in the script to introduce a boss or enemy that the player faces, possibly associated with the color red or a sense of danger. This keyword contributes to the video's theme of overcoming formidable foes.

Highlights

Hero embarks on a quest to kill God, encountering various challenges and hellish landscapes.

Fights include battles with a mighty fire giant and the dragon lord.

Encounter with the Avatar of death, who ironically also kills the player.

Defeats the Sanguin Lord of blood and incest, with reasons left undisclosed.

Braving the secret trails of The Forsaken to reach the mythical Halig tree.

The player humorously navigates a winter storm without any guidance.

A dungeon is humorously compared to playing Minecraft in a cave.

The player expresses discomfort and unease upon encountering a mysterious enemy.

A surprising encounter with a woman that the player can't defeat.

A village of disabled women whose wheelchairs are executed in response to aggression.

The Dark World is portrayed as a normal and okay place, contrary to expectations.

The player humorously describes the difficulty of fighting a boss with an ungodly amount of magic.

A boss fight against Melenia, Blade of Mika, is described as a punishing marathon.

The player humorously struggles with a boss that demands absolute perfection.

The player expresses a mutual desire to defeat and be defeated by the boss.

The player humorously prepares to face the Scarlet of Rod, promising a display of true horror.

Transcripts

00:00

on the last episode of Elden ring which

00:03

was 9 months ago you could have had a

00:06

child during that time our hero set out

00:08

once again with the noble and realistic

00:10

goal of killing God a task that led them

00:13

to the highest of Peaks the greatest of

00:15

challenges and to the most terrifying of

00:18

hellscapes hidden from the likes of God

00:20

and man there they fought the likes of

00:22

the mighty fire giant clashed with the

00:24

dragon lord

00:26

plac how do you pronounce that Tangled

00:28

with the literal Avatar of death who yes

00:32

does kill you defeated the sanguin Lord

00:34

of blood who for undisclosed reasons is

00:38

also the Lord of incest no I will not

00:40

explain that and finally Brave the

00:42

secret Trails of The Forsaken to reach

00:45

the mythical halig tree is what I would

00:48

say if I uh could see anything talk

00:51

about a cold reception guys

00:54

um guys they didn't even put enemies

00:57

here Gary

01:00

I got

01:02

to Jesus [ __ ] Christ wandering

01:05

aimlessly through the winter storm

01:06

Ambience with icy howling sounds for

01:08

sleeping relaxing and studying

01:09

background we arrive at what I think is

01:11

the right way but is obviously not I uh

01:14

thought it would be funny to play

01:16

without Google Maps I'm sure this

01:17

dungeon is going to be a lot of fun mod

01:19

is a weird [ __ ] straight B outside

01:23

okay scratch that up Garfield is on

01:24

[ __ ] meth right now he gets really

01:26

excited for that

01:28

lasagna oh my God it actually

01:35

works oh my God it's these [ __ ]

01:38

[Music]

01:45

again I'm not even hacking this one it's

01:47

just [ __ ]

01:50

up emerging from our bout of blindness

01:53

and hallucinations I do not care who is

01:55

gangstalking me I will not take my meds

01:57

we arrive at the consecrated snowfield

02:00

it's

02:01

a yeah I had to fight my own demons

02:04

today A beautiful and secluded Sanctuary

02:07

for the lost and the forlorn which is

02:09

fantasy speak for various racial

02:11

minorities and if I have to spend one

02:13

more godamn minute in this cave I am

02:15

going to remind them exactly what

02:17

happened to Castle M and no I don't care

02:21

how much crack you give the dog princess

02:23

doesn't bite we've got all kinds of

02:25

wildlife in the snowfield like

02:27

existential nihilist rat that's the ual

02:30

lore by the way a healthy wolf

02:32

population and the putrid albinar Grace

02:35

I love all of God's creatures unless

02:37

they can run faster than me we also have

02:39

this cool portal that leads you to the

02:43

up take me back I do not wish to be here

02:46

again The Blood Lake really U affects

02:48

the Vibes 410 billion 757 million 86453

03:00

just watch the last part

03:01

[Music]

03:03

please you're playing Minecraft in a

03:05

cave looking for diamonds that's funny

03:08

I'm in the same cave looking for my

03:09

nurse I am definitely going to hell

03:12

soon holy [ __ ] what is that it makes me

03:16

feel very uneasy I feel like I'm

03:18

fighting a [ __ ] baby sensory video

03:20

really big fan of the move he uh leaves

03:24

this universe

03:30

you know personally I'm a not a big fan

03:32

of the saturation artillery it can have

03:34

a bit of a negative effect on the frame

03:36

rate you see this enemy has a cool trick

03:38

to it and it's a don't look at it oh my

03:41

God I I can't quite believe it it's a

03:44

woman I can't beat to death this is the

03:46

best day of my

03:49

life do you [ __ ] mind buddy wandering

03:52

past the gigantic carpet bombing we

03:54

arrive at the Village of disabled women

03:56

and respond to their aggression by

03:58

executing their wheelchairs I've got

04:00

that dog in me and he is now euthanized

04:03

this is ordina a town which guards a

04:05

mysterious magic gate and is home to an

04:08

even more

04:11

mysterious parallel universe where

04:14

everyone is really nice to me and

04:16

fromsoft develops normal games how did

04:18

you get on the roof without legs kind of

04:20

sensing some [ __ ] around here also

04:22

yes I did color correct it like this be

04:24

glad I haven't flipped the screen yet

04:26

honestly the Dark World isn't really

04:28

that bad if you don't run into the uh

04:32

six invisible ninjas I mean I guess they

04:34

wouldn't be good ninjas if you could see

04:35

them I love the Dark World uh it's okay

04:39

everything is normal and okay in the

04:40

Dark World

04:43

[Music]

05:00

oh my god there it is the mythical

05:04

haling tree shelter to the forgotten the

05:07

salvation of the forlorn home to the

05:11

giant ants it's just so beautiful to

05:14

behold uh

05:16

uh please shut the [ __ ] up running past

05:20

the tenius national anthem who by the

05:22

way up drop this cool

05:25

horn just wanted to show you that and

05:28

the best episode of Brave Wilderness I'm

05:30

kyote Peterson and I'm about to be

05:34

bitten we enter the mysterious haling

05:36

tree town home in habitat of the many

05:39

minorities that I have spent the entire

05:41

game brutally slaughtering uh no hard

05:44

feelings right guys sorry about what

05:46

happened to your dad by the way everyone

05:48

is welcome in the haling tree except for

05:51

the handicap in which case [ __ ] you

05:53

apparently go back to your parallel

05:54

Dimension this town is built in a very

05:57

similar fashion to a McDonald's jungle

05:58

gym they really got everything right in

06:00

regards to the U bugs and diseases view

06:03

is fantastic but uh I have to assail the

06:06

Gap to enter my house what hate crime

06:08

did stairs commit these little shits are

06:10

going to have an aneurysm when I show

06:11

them OSHA like what do you mean you

06:14

forgot to build a railing when was this

06:16

bridge constructed exactly where is the

06:18

wet floor sign I'm going to need that to

06:20

clean up the

06:25

blood how did you get a horse up here I

06:28

am genuinely curious sorry about what

06:30

happened to your family by the way and

06:32

uh your soul apparently look I know that

06:35

sounds bad but in my defense I was

06:37

really hungry uh go go gadget bubble

06:40

attack you and that bubble have been

06:42

nothing but trouble it's time to end

06:45

it I I don't think her AI can handle

06:48

that this boss is quite the challenge

06:50

plus a little bit more with the only

06:53

consolation being that I bought it five

06:55

times already and it didn't even help

06:58

mainly because Loretta has an ungodly

07:00

amount of magic and if you don't close

07:01

the distance she will literally never

07:03

stop shooting at you like bro please I

07:07

just want to heal right now it looks so

07:10

[ __ ] cool though I have never had so

07:12

much fun getting destroyed let's just uh

07:14

send this [ __ ] to the glue factory

07:15

please going to [ __ ] take her out

07:17

behind the

07:28

Stables so after after defeating the

07:30

funny horse we descend the length of the

07:32

haling tree and pass

07:34

the what a thrill normally siiz ladder

07:38

why why would you build it like this

07:40

down to the city of our heart's desire

07:43

El fail brace of the hailing

07:46

tree kind of a shitty tree if you have

07:49

to brace it oh God I'm sorry for

07:50

slandering your city I'm sure it's

07:52

really nice this time of year and I can

07:54

definitely say that it is absolutely

07:57

breathtaking in a literal sense I have a

08:00

died here a lot okay nice place you got

08:03

here can't wait to give it a new paint

08:04

job this is the final Legacy dungeon of

08:07

the game and as a result of that the uh

08:10

most insane gripping the haly tree with

08:12

a golden veneer lale betrays its true

08:15

nature of dark and Sinister

08:17

Decay especially when it comes to the

08:19

back alleys on the wrong side of town I

08:22

[ __ ] genuinely how is this legal oh

08:25

sweet cool it's another one yeah no I'm

08:27

um I'm really wondering what color my

08:28

insides are too this is the first 5

08:30

minutes of the Stree by the

08:38

way wow I can't wait to meet the guy who

08:40

owns this place really hope that he's

08:42

not up to anything up Sinister or

08:44

insestuous because that would be [ __ ]

08:47

weird something is telling me I'm not

08:49

supposed to go this way the death

08:51

cannons are giving me up bad vibes how

08:53

are you even supposed to get past this

08:55

[ __ ] I just want to use the bonfire

08:57

please you don't have to be like this

09:03

oh yes my favorite from software level

09:06

for one moment I thought I was actually

09:08

safe is that a

09:11

man oh cool there's a thing over there

09:14

can't wait for this to work out just

09:16

fine I'm uh I'm not [ __ ] doing this

09:19

you have fun over there buddy I I choose

09:22

life

09:26

[Music]

09:34

$6 shrimp

09:42

special you got this man uh where she

09:45

can do is kill

09:46

[Music]

09:55

you hey there babe uh

10:01

were you born on a

10:02

[Music]

10:12

Minefield I jumped for so long that I

10:15

thought I had

10:17

died

10:19

hoping

10:21

pleading awaiting the return of my

10:24

brother

10:26

mola so about that

10:30

I have killed 15 of you today I will

10:33

kill 20 of you

10:35

tomorrow and one day my brother will

10:38

find his way home by the smell of the

10:43

bodies heed my

10:46

warning I am melenia blade of Mika

10:55

[Music]

10:59

and I have never known

11:02

defeat well you're about to

11:05

[Music]

11:11

[ __ ] hey guys welcome back to the fight

11:13

with a melatonin blade of Michelin I can

11:17

remember that name because she says it

11:19

every time she kills you which is a lot

11:22

I am melenia blade of Mika I am melenia

11:25

I am

11:28

melenia can you you [ __ ] stop now

11:30

Melania blade of mola is the hardest

11:32

boss that fromsoft has ever made and

11:34

there are several good reasons for this

11:37

the first of which being no she isn't I

11:39

just happen to have a sense of Shame she

11:41

is incredibly fast incredibly tanky

11:44

chains incredibly long Combos and gains

11:47

Health after every hit making this less

11:49

of an endurance fight and more of a

11:51

goddamn Marathon punishing you with a

11:53

grave setback for each and every mistake

11:56

which for me is a frequent occurrence

11:59

not not to mention that the boss is so

12:01

confident she will wait for you to

12:04

attack quite a while actually I honestly

12:07

think I [ __ ] confused her she was not

12:09

ready for the spread eagle strategy

12:11

Madia demands nothing short of absolute

12:14

perfection where every move must be

12:15

calculated and anticipated right up

12:18

until she jumps in the air at which

12:19

point you are done playing the game just

12:22

put the controller down now buddy if you

12:24

are ever caught by this move at any time

12:26

you are dead there is no dodging it

12:29

there is no tanking it there is only

12:31

running away from it and watching it get

12:33

closer no matter what you do some part

12:35

of this thing is going to hit and when

12:37

it does it is going to extend this boss

12:39

fight by a lot personally I uh don't

12:42

really know why people have problems

12:43

with this boss I'm going to get a

12:45

[ __ ] glass of water real quick really

12:47

Madia is the type of fight that you are

12:50

never actually ready for and I can say

12:51

with absolute certainty that nothing in

12:54

the game could have equipped me for this

12:55

not even you a boneless 10 times speed

12:57

Mor go she is the fastest strikes the

13:01

hardest and changes between all of her

13:03

attacks seemingly at random making for a

13:06

boss that you can never quite predict

13:08

much less understand but ultimately

13:10

those are just the reasons that I keep

13:11

coming back to her again and again and

13:15

again I I do plan on finishing it taking

13:17

pure unadulterated pleasure in finally

13:20

conquering a boss that really really

13:22

wants you

13:23

dead and the feelings

13:26

Mutual I am Millenia

13:29

a blade of

13:36

mea uh sorry didn't quite catch the

13:48

name pretty cool looking tree

13:54

though wait

13:57

[Music]

14:04

[Applause]

14:08

[Music]

14:15

I hope you're ready to laugh because I'm

14:18

about to make kid look like a [ __ ]

14:26

joke you will witness true

14:30

horror at the hands of the Scarlet

14:34

[Music]

14:40

Rod because I'm going to kill you again

14:44

and again and again

14:48

[Music]

14:56

[Music]

14:59

a

15:04

[Music]

15:22

[Music]

15:29

a

15:35

[Music]