Horrifying Home Design 3 (w/ Chad Chad)
Summary
TLDRIn this sponsored video by Shopify, Jarvis Johnson and Chad Chad explore bizarre home design concepts from TikTok accounts homedesignn3D and visionofluxury08. They humorously dissect impractical and over-the-top room transformations, such as a bedroom for 100 children using galvanized square steel and a tiny apartment for a man named David with a wall-mounted toilet. The video combines comedy with commentary on the absurdity of these design ideas, poking fun at the lack of practicality in maximizing space in urban living situations.
Takeaways
- 🎥 The video is sponsored by Shopify, a commerce platform that allows business owners to start, manage, and grow their businesses online.
- 🤣 The hosts, Jarvis and Chad, humorously discuss the concept of 'premium' content being free and their roles in the video.
- 🏠 The video's theme revolves around reviewing and critiquing bizarre home design ideas found on TikTok, particularly those that seem impractical or absurd.
- 👶 The script mentions a video where a family has an excessive number of children, leading to creative but questionable home design solutions.
- 🔨 The hosts joke about the use of galvanized square steel in home design, suggesting it's used for structural support in容纳大量孩子的房间设计中.
- 😂 There's a running gag about the hosts' aunts being a source for all sorts of materials, from mattresses to bookshelves, hinting at hoarding or resourcefulness.
- 🎓 The video includes a segment where a statue of Confucius is placed in a 'critical gas station', which is a humorous and nonsensical element.
- 🛏️ The designs discussed include innovative uses of space, such as beds with built-in storage and desks, and the use of mezzanine levels to accommodate more children.
- 💸 There's a mention of a character named David who saved a significant amount of money to buy a house, only to end up with a tiny living space.
- 🛠️ The video script includes commentary on the impracticality of certain design choices, such as replacing a regular door with a large iron gate for 'easy access'.
- 🎉 The hosts conclude the video with a playful and poetic sign-off, suggesting a lighthearted and creative tone throughout the content.
Q & A
What is the main topic of discussion in the video?
-The main topic of discussion in the video is the critique and analysis of bizarre and impractical home design ideas found on TikTok, specifically from accounts like homedesignn3D and visionofluxury08.
What is the significance of the number '100' in the context of the video?
-The number '100' is used humorously to refer to an absurdly large family size in one of the home design scenarios, where a bedroom is redesigned to accommodate 100 children.
What is the role of 'aunt' in the home design scenarios presented?
-In the video, the 'aunt' is portrayed as a source of various supplies and materials needed for the home designs, such as mattresses and renovation scraps, suggesting that she has an abundance of items or works at a store like Home Depot.
What is the purpose of the mezzanine in the home design for 100 children?
-The mezzanine is used as a space-saving solution to create 100 independent beds for the children, by dividing the space into multiple levels.
Why is galvanized square steel used in the main frame construction in the video?
-Galvanized square steel is used in the main frame construction to ensure the structure is sturdy and safe, capable of holding the weight of the mezzanine and the 100 children.
What is the relevance of Shopify in the video?
-Shopify is the sponsor of the video. It is mentioned as a commerce platform that the host has personally used for years to power his online store, Jarvis.store.
What is the humorous element of the video related to 'circle steel'?
-The humorous element related to 'circle steel' is a playful misunderstanding and a joke about the impracticality of using circular steel for construction, as opposed to the square steel mentioned in the home design scenario.
What is the significance of the number '1 billion' in the home design scenario?
-The number '1 billion' is used in an exaggerated and humorous way to describe an even more absurd family size, where a home design is proposed for one billion children.
What is the function of the karaoke room in the home design for 100 children?
-The karaoke room is included in the home design to foster the children's artistic talents, suggesting an emphasis on creativity and personal development within the family.
What is the conclusion the hosts reach about the home design ideas presented in the video?
-The hosts conclude that the home design ideas are impractical and humorously flawed, with elements that defy logic and常识, such as the need for an infinite number of floors or the unrealistic family sizes.
Outlines
😀 Introduction and Sponsorship Acknowledgment
The video begins with an acknowledgment of sponsorship by Shopify, with details to be discussed later. The host, Jarvis Johnson, welcomes viewers back to his premium channel, humorously referring to it as 'GOLD' and engaging in playful banter with a disembodied voice. The segment includes a lighthearted Superman reference and a discussion about helping with a remote task. Chad Chad joins the conversation, reminiscing about previous episodes where they discussed bizarre home design ideas found on TikTok, including those that seemed to cater to an alternate dimension filled with tigers and elephants. The humor continues with a mention of 'homedesignn3D', an account that showcases design solutions to unusual problems, such as accommodating 20 children in a room, which leads to a comical exchange about the absurdity of the scenarios presented.
🏠 Bizarre Home Design Solutions
This paragraph delves into the peculiar world of home design solutions, starting with a mention of a mezzanine made from galvanized square steel to accommodate 100 children. The conversation takes a humorous turn discussing the impracticality of reusing walls and the challenges of transporting a semi-trailer full of mattresses to a high-rise apartment. The absurdity is further highlighted by the mention of a karaoke room next to a critical gas station, a statue of Confucius at a supposed gas station, and a design case for housing a billion children. The segment ends with a satirical take on the idea of having a billion children, poking fun at the scale and impracticality of such a scenario.
😂 The Misadventures of David and His Tiny Home
The narrative shifts to a character named David, who has saved a thousand dollars to buy a house but ends up with a minuscule living space. The humor arises from the exaggerated situation where David's house is so small that it feels cramped even for a coffin-sized room. The video suggests that David is unaware of the impending responsibility of having a billion children, a callback to the earlier segment. The design solutions for David's home include a bed cabinet for storage and a wall-mounted toilet for convenience, adding to the comedic element of the video with their impracticality.
🛋️ Renovations and Design Choices
The paragraph discusses a renovation scenario where a husband's poor design choices lead to a cluttered and inefficient living space. The wife's frustration culminates in a decision to renovate the entire room. The video humorously describes the husband's choice of a single bed for his son, which takes up the entire room, and the wife's stylish renovation that includes a study desk and storage solutions. The segment also includes a playful jab at the idea of 'high study efficiency' and the impracticality of the design choices made by the characters.
🤔 Critique of Compact Living Room Designs
In this paragraph, the critique is aimed at compact living room designs that prioritize storage and functionality over comfort and aesthetics. The video script describes a living room setup that includes a functional desk, storage cabinets, and a sofa with built-in drawers. The humor comes from the absurdity of the design, such as a tiny coffee table and the idea of hiding 'Putin diarrhea secrets' in the drawers. The conversation also touches on the impracticality of having a desk in every room and the discomfort of the proposed living arrangements.
🎤 Final Thoughts and Poetic Sign-off
The final paragraph wraps up the video with a poetic sign-off that humorously encapsulates the theme of the video. The hosts reflect on the designs discussed, with a particular focus on the impracticality and absurdity of the ideas presented. The sign-off includes a playful rhyme that combines elements from the video, such as 'twine' and 'Confucius', and ends with a lighthearted 'Goodbine', a pun on the word 'goodbye'. The paragraph maintains the humorous tone throughout, providing a fitting conclusion to the video.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Shopify
💡Home Design
💡Mezzanine
💡Galvanized Square Steel
💡Karaoke Room
💡Eagle
💡Semi Trailer
💡Environmental Consciousness
💡Infinite Floors
💡Visionofluxury08
💡Study Efficiency
Highlights
Video sponsored by Shopify, a commerce platform for business management.
Introduction of Jarvis Johnson's GOLD, a premium free channel.
Engaging banter about 'Superman' and 'flying' car driving.
Chad Chad's involvement in the video and remote collaboration.
Discussion of 'horrible home design TikToks' from a previous episode.
Mystery of the 'alternate dimension' with tigers and elephants in home designs.
Introduction of 'homedesignn3D' account and its design case approach.
Humorous confusion over the term 'design cases'.
Memorable catchphrase 'I designed it' from a past episode.
Celebration of the 17th season and 500 episodes of the series.
Viewer engagement and the impact of daily uploads on the channel.
Sponsor segment on Shopify's features and benefits for advertisers.
Creative design solution for 100 children using galvanized square steel.
Humor around the impracticality of a mezzanine for 100 children.
Bizarre scenario of borrowing mattresses with a semi-trailer.
Innovative design for a bedroom accommodating one billion children.
Comedic take on the practicality of design elements like iron gates and karaoke rooms.
Critique of tiny living spaces and the contrast with the number of children.
Discussion of the impracticality of the design for a single bed in a small room.
Final thoughts on the absurdity and humor of the home designs presented.
Transcripts
This video is sponsored by Shopify.
More on that later.
Hello and welcome back
to Jarvis Johnson! GOLD,
- [disembodied voice] Gooooooold! - The premium channel that is free.
Um. It is. It is free.
But, if you're watching this, you're premium.
And today I need help.
- I'm here. I'm here, hold on,
I'm gonna do the Superman.
- Oh, you're coming!
Is it a bird, - I'm coming!
- Is it a plane?
- No, it's not.
- It kind of looks like you're, like,
- No, I'm flying - [Jarvis] driving a car a little bit.
- Like this?
- Yeah, now it looks like you're, you know, punching I guess?
- Shoot, alright, I'll just book a flight I guess.
- Okay well, in the meantime we can do this remotely.
- This works.
- Chad Chad's here.
It was a year or two ago when we talked about
the horrible home design TikToks.
- Yeah, yeah. We did it in person.
- Do you remember anything about what we watched.
- I remember there being an alternate dimension
that's full of tigers and elephants.
- Like, we don't know that it was an alternate dimension,
but that was just kind of our guess.
- Okay, those were conspiracies.
- Those were conspiracies that we formed
because we couldn't understand why they were making the homes
the way they were making them.
Because oftentimes they would
need to be like, "Okay, so you've got
"20 children that you need to
"put into a room,"
and I'm like, I don't have that.
- That's right, I do have 20 children.
- Exactly, and so I have been inundated recently
with people sending me new, evolved versions of this.
I think they've jumped the shark,
they've jumped the tiger.
- They upped their game.
- Yeah, and so we've got a couple accounts to look at today,
the first of which is called homedesignn3D,
and the bio is "welcome to pay attention and bring you more good design cases."
- Welcome. Pay attention. - Okay.
- More good design cases.
Oh, like cases-cases?
- Not like, lawsuit cases. - Judiciary?
- No, not those types of cases.
Like a design case.
- Like bookcases!
- No, ooh, so close.
There will be bookcases, one would assume.
- Okay, I give up, alright?
- Yeah, this is more like little
situations that they solve with design.
- They designed it.
- (cackles) What is that from?
[flashback music] - [Jarvis] hashtag decoration ideas.
- [Chadx2] designed it. [laughter]
- [both] I designed it.
- That's from us, I just remembered that.
I just remembered looking at the two n's in the name on the page,
for some reason it just came flooding back.
- Designed it! I just remembered that.
- We forgot to say welcome back,
cause this is the, what, the 17th episode in this series?
- Yeah this is the 17th season I think.
- Oh yeah, 17th season, first episode.
- Because we do it every day.
- Because we do it every day and there's a playlist
linked in the description.
- There's a playlist linked in the description
of the 400 or so episodes of us doing
- Four- five now. 500.
- 500, yeah, wow, congrats to us really.
We're really sticking it out and having a really good
- We've been crushing it, we've been grinding.
- And people show up, I mean.
Everyone's just, right 8am, when the video drops,
they're there.
- The numbers are through the roof.
- They're through the roof.
- Which is why we need to watch these,
because we need to figure out how to fix our roof.
- [VO] My wife really enjoyed having kids.
Before we knew it, we had 100 children.
I worked tirelessly day and night
to save money for raising them
and to redesign the bedroom for them.
First, we built the main frame using galvanized square steel.
- You can't hack into my mainframe,
because it's built out of galvanized square steel.
- Galvanized square steel.
- Yeah, whatever that means.
- As opposed to circle steel.
- Yeah, you can't really use circle steel,
that won't hold up to the weight of 100 children, unfortunately.
- No.
- Last time they used circle steel,
and some bad stuff happened, let me tell you.
- But before we get into that,
we have a brief word from today's sponsor: Shopify.
Shopify is a commerce platform
that allows you to start, manage, and grow a business.
I personally used Shopify for years,
it's what powers Jarvis.store.
It's very user friendly, with a simple drag and drop store editor,
easy to use marketing tools,
and a back office that oversees all your operations.
As you probably know, I'm a nerd,
so I love to dive into the analytics
and it helps me learn where all of the orders are coming from,
specifically what people are clicking on,
and what they're really resonating with,
which makes me a more effective advertiser.
As much as I talk about "always be plugging,"
I do not love to always be plugging,
I just know that it's a necessity,
and Shopify allows me to work smart not hard, if you know what I'm saying.
You can customize your store
with the over 8000 apps in the Shopify app store
that will allow you to add additional functionality that best suits
your business's needs.
Shopify allows you sell across all major social media platforms,
Google, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest,
and everything else under the sun.
Millions of people in over 170 countries selling online, in person,
and across borders use Shopify to power their businesses every day.
Head on over to shopify.com/jarvisjohnsongold
or use the QR code on screen to get started on a free trial today.
Thanks to Shopify for sponsoring
this video, now back to the video.
- [VO] Using galvanized square steel
and reuse the walls to divide the mezzanine
into 100 independent beds.
- What is mezzanine?
- Mezzanine is like a loft area that's not a full floor,
but it like, hangs.
- Oh, yeah yeah yeah.
- I also don't know what they
mean by "reuse the walls."
- You know.
Just reuse em.
- Weren't the walls already being used?
- Well yes, they were, that's why they're being re-used.
- Cause you can't take down the walls to then use
the walls to build the mezzanine,
cause then you don't have walls.
- Listen, have you ever built a mezzanine before?
- No.
- You can use it for the mezzanine. It's fun.
- Can you read what the caption currently says?
He hasn't quite said this part yet.
- [Chadx2] I drove a semi trailer to my aunt's house.
[laughter] - Alright, let's see where this go-
I have no- do you have any clue where this is gonna go from here?
- I'm assuming to pick up supplies or something
from his aunt?
- Right, who's got all the supplies.
- Maybe she works at Home Depot,
she gets discounts or something.
- What's funny is that they're clearly in a skyscraper,
cause you can see that they have a great view.
- [Chadx2] This is like an apartment.
- Yeah, I don't know why his aunt's house would have
supplies that he would need.
She's got extra wall.
- Right, well she works at Home Depot.
- She works in the steel beam aisle.
- [VO] I drove a semi trailer to my aunt's house
to borrow 100 mattresses,
added soft cushions against the walls,
- Okay, she has beds.
she has a lot of beds.
- How do you get a semi trailer
up to the 11th floor of your skyscraper,
and drive it through the wall.
- That's what the circle galvanized steel is for.
- Mm. I see.
But they're not using circle galvanized steel,
they're using square.
- They make the Peter Pan children
lift it on their shoulders up to the floor.
- I guess when you've got 100 - [Chadx2] Cause they have 100 of them.
- Yeah, you can really do anything
with 100 children.
- It's like the Up house, it's like one balloon, you know,
- [Jarvis] Right. - but 100 balloons?
There you go.
- 100 balloons, there you go.
That's Up.
- (laughs) Yeah.
- [VO] Added soft cushions against the walls for comfortable sleep,
and installed iron guard rails
to prevent the kids from falling at night.
I went back to my aunt's house
to get leftover renovation scraps for decorative walls.
- I went over to my aunt's house
to get leftover renovation scraps,
but it's like full walls.
- Maybe it's from the other projects that we haven't seen.
- His aunt's house is another skyscraper that they're just
gutting for parts.
- It's just full of other rooms that they've tried to design
and that they don't use anymore.
- They've just gotta reuse everything,
it's like Legos to them.
- [VO] Renovation scraps for decorative walls,
and wrote each kid's name on their door
so we wouldn't forget anyone.
- They wrote each kid's name on
the door so they wouldn't forget?
Like their own name?
- Right, cause otherwise...
otherwise they would forget what their names were.
- I think that it would be a little bit more, I guess,
plausible that one of the 99 children would forget
one of their siblings' names.
But what do I know.
I don't have 100 kids yet.
- I thought it was so that they
could do like a roll call at night
when they're walking through the prison halls and they're like,
they're there, they're there, they're there, they're there.
- Yeah, right.
- [VO] We replaced the traditional door with a large iron gate
for easy entry and exit.
- What?
- (laughs)
We replaced the easily open-able door with one that you can't
open at all and has many locks on it.
- A bank vault.
- For ease of access.
- Ah, yes. So easy.
So easy to access this door.
So glad we got rid of that hard to access handle
and knob system.
- [Chadx2] It looks like the back of a semi truck.
- [Jarvis] It does!
Probably got it from the aunt- the aunt's house.
- She has a bunch of semis laying around.
- She has a bunch of everything lying around.
- [VO] With a karaoke room next door
to foster the children's' artistic talents,
- (laughs) - They said karaoke room and
then it was a telephone box.
- You never done karaoke in a telephone box?
- I haven't, is that something I should put on my list?
- Yeah, put it on your list.
I mean, you've gotta try it.
- Okay. I've been doing karaoke wrong.
- [VO] I borrowed bookshelves from my second aunt,
placed them along the walls,
and added desks and chairs to create a study area.
- I borrowed bookshelves from my second aunt.
So there's two hoarder aunts.
- And they've got everything.
- They have everything.
Everything's secondhand.
- Everything is secondh'aunt.
- Second aunt, secondhands.
- They're not disclosing the fact
that their aunt is the CEO of Home Depot.
- [VO] Set up a statue of Confucius at a critical gas station
where the kids pray every night and do morning radio gymnastics together.
- (chuckles) Confucius in a critical gas station.
- Okay, I was on board with a statue of Confucius,
you did lose me at "a critical gas station."
- Isn't every gas station critical?
Oh, cause the statue is so gas.
- Oh, it's so gas.
And Confucius's teachings are so gas.
Where do they eat?
- They don't need to eat food,
they uh, they run on prayer.
- And knowledge.
So, the first video showed us how we might-
a design case where, if we pay attention,
we can learn how to create
a living environment for 100 kids.
So let's see what this has in store.
- [VO] How to design a bedroom for one billion children.
- (laughs)
- Okay.
- Is this the same woman, she just kept going?
- I don't even wanna do the math on that.
I think it's gonna require more than just one mother.
- Are there a billion children?
- For sure.
- There has to be, yeah.
- But it is a good chunk of the children on earth.
- Yeah, that's like all of them.
So they're all living in this apartment complex.
- [VO] The wife who loves having children
has more and more of them.
- It's still her!
- [VO] One billion children were born accidentally.
- They were all an accident?
- That's awkward.
- There's stuff you can do.
Like after the- after the first 100,
I feel like it's kind of on you to figure out.
- I would even give you the first hundred thousand.
- That's understandable.
- I do wonder if doctors would be interested in studying this person,
because all of these kids do seem like the same age.
- They do seem to be from the same, um, litter.
- I think that's... (laughs)
I think that's safe to say.
- (laughs)
- [VO] The room is so full that they can't even fit inside.
The husband uses the long lost secret of martial arts
and directly penetrates the entire floor to expand
- (intense laughter)
- (chuckles) He used his martial arts?
- And then martial arts is flying on an eagle upward.
- This is groundbreaking stuff.
- It's ceiling-breaking, actually.
But I get it, cause what's a ceiling to one might be a ground to another.
- That's so deep.
- I would call it groundbreaking, actually.
- I would call it that too.
- Okay. Well I said it first, so.
- [VO] Construct a sturdy frame
with horizontal and vertical welding.
Wrap the frame with environmentally
friendly solid wood boards for durability.
- I'm glad we're thinking about the environment.
- I love that they're environmentally conscious when it comes to
what type of wood they're using,
but not when they're having a billion children.
- Right, when they're significantly contributing to
the population of earth by a lot.
The carbon footprint...
- Crazy.
- [VO] Purchase soft mattresses from the secondhand market
to provide comfortable beds for each of the 1 billion children.
Ensuring they have their own separate sleeping space.
- Oh, the- okay, the floors are infinite.
You see how it's going down?
It's just got infinite floors. - Ohhhhhh. Okay.
- [VO] Install a ladder next to the bed
to facilitate easy access for children.
- I feel like in a world where there's a billion of you,
there's no way for anyone to have easy access to anything.
- [Chadx2] There's also no ladders to the different floors.
- Some of these kids have to jump down 100 floors
in order to get to the bottom
- It's like, at the bottom is one of those indoor skydiving thingies.
- (laughs) yeah, and they like-
- So they jump off and then - They're just floating
- they dive down until they get-
They're like-
- [VO] Sitter installing living rooms, similar to those
found in shopping malls, between floors.
Prioritize the needs of the one billion children,
making it easier and more convenient for them
to navigate between floors.
- I don't know, I was trying to make sure that you can
actually access all of these escalators from floor to floor.
You would need them on all sides.
- Right, you need one that goes up and one that goes down.
- [Chadx2] It's just like your bed, and then down.
There's no way to even get to the escalators
unless you are directly in front of the escalators.
- I'm starting to think the skydiving
option was better than this.
- I think it was more economical,
cause this just doesn't work.
- No. So that was homedesignn3D,
but that's not the only account in this space.
visionofluxury08.
- Ohh, but they have the same costume on.
- [Jarvis] Yeah, they have the same dad.
- [Chadx2] That's the same guy.
- [VO] David save a thousand of dollars to buy a house.
- (laughs)
- I just first off want to say congrats to David.
- I saved $10,000 building this house so that
I could buy this outfit.
- [Jarvis] So I could have the best floral jumpsuit in the game.
- [VO] David happily goes to open the door,
and this 0.1 square meter coffin room even feels a bit cramped.
And in the end, he collapses and needs to be reinstalled.
- (laughs) - (laughing) what????
He as a person needs to be reinstalled?
- Have you ever been reinstalled?
- I feel like that's just a...
a different way to say sleep.
Like, I need to go to sleep.
- No, sometimes I get like a blue screen of death.
He saved thousands of dollars for a house,
but then it's so small that even
a cockroach would be cramped there.
And then the cockroach falls off to its death.
But luckily David, before he falls to his death,
- [Chadx2] The eagle saves him. - [Jarvis] Saved by an eagle, yeah.
- [Chadx2] Why is he being so dramatic?
he's literally- he got saved.
- That's true.
Honestly, he should shut up.
- Honestly, he should shut the hell up,
it's not that big of a deal.
- Doesn't he have a billion children to look after?
- What are you gonna do?
Cry about it?
- [VO] Make a bed cabinet to store
rarely worn clothes and luggage boxes.
Spread soft mattresses on top,
and both David and his girlfriend can sleep well.
- Do they know that they're about to have all of the children?
- (chuckles) This a prequel.
- Yeah, it's like an origin story.
It's like wow, we used to live in that tiny little shoebox,
and look at us now.
- If we have a billion kids,
we'll have to have more space.
- Maybe someone bet them that they could have a billion children,
and they were like, I'll show you.
And they were like, I'll bet you this whole skyscraper.
- Yeahhhh. It was Elon Musk. - Right.
- I'll give you this entire skyscraper
if you can birth a billion children.
- And they said no problem.
David called his eagle and they got to work.
- [VO] Install a wall mounted toilet.
Now David enjoys the fun.
- (laughs)
- Hell yeah.
- Now David enjoys the fun.
- Give me a wall mounted toilet and I'm enjoying the fun.
- Now David's gonna enjoy the fun.
- I just want to drop through the ceiling onto the toilet, you know?
That's how I know he's living the life.
- He thinks he's got all the money in the world
cause he saved that- that 10k.
- He does, and he has no clue what's coming.
He has no clue how many children
he's about to have to provide for.
- How could you?
How could you know?
- [VO] It is more comfortable to take a shower here.
Don't forget to make a water tank to block smoke.
- So you can take a shit and take a bath at the same time.
- Two birds, one stone.
- Two turds, one- one stone.
Two turds, one.... throne!
- That's it. Two turds, one throne.
That's actually beautiful.
- [VO] At the end, look at this very beautiful tiny bedroom.
- Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
- [Chadx2] Why did he just walk off a ledge?
- It's fine, David.
- What happened to all that fun we were having David?
Remember all the fun we had.
- I think he's just gotten cocky with that eagle
that he's just walking off in the nothingness,
and he's like, my eagle will catch me.
- My eagle's got it, my eagle's good.
- Yeah, don't even worry about me.
- [VO] The clever husband opts for
a single bed in the bedroom for his son.
- He's strong.
- He's strong. Phase through the bed,
holding the bed by himself,
and where does he have time to do this
when he has to interview guests on Hot Ones.
- I was gonna say he looks like Hitman.
- (laughs) Yeah.
- [VO] Clothes and toys scattered everywhere,
and no place for a study desk.
The frustrated wife decides to renovate the entire room.
- Oh my God. - Woah.
- [Jarvis] And she did it in a red dress.
- [Chadx2] And heels.
Now that's a woman.
- Now that's a woman.
I'm glad you said it.
- [VO] Upon entry, the husband gets a punch.
- Oh no, we don't like that.
I'm- now- No, sorry, we take it all back.
Please do not do domestic violence.
- We can't do domestic violence, this is not-
- Even if your husband is Agent 47,
- You can't punch him.
- Yeah, and he has a bunch of toys everywhere.
- [VO] While a thin cabinet stores essentials and provides a
handy spot for hanging coats.
- [Chadx2] He's got like, business casual...
- He's on his Andrew Tate tip,
he's been watching manosphere TikToks.
- (laughs) - He's been going to the gym
and trying to get his style up.
- He's been drinking not sparkling water.
- Right, he can't drink sparkling water,
that's messed up.
- [VO] Decorative wooden box is inset
for storing the son's favorite novels and comics.
Don't forget to add sockets near the bed for convenient charging.
- Don't forget.
- Don't forget to stick the socket onto the wall.
- Just stick it on there. Easy.
- [VO] Utilize the other side for a spacious study desk,
promoting high study efficiency.
- Okay. I don't know if this desk is promoting high study efficiency.
- High study efficiency.
It's just a desk, it's not like a crazy efficiency desk.
- [Jarvis] Well that's the last thing
- [Chadx2] Oh, I don't like that. - [Jarvis] you see before you die.
- I don't like that!
- So like here, this is a young Vladimir Putin (laughs).
- (laughs) It looks exactly like him!
- It really does.
I think these people would really benefit from
not living in a city center.
Because they have so little space,
but they require living in a fucking 25th floor apartment.
- Yeah, they're like, we have to live in the city
to the point that we live in a closet.
- Yeah, but it's like, not even living in the city,
it's like, you don't need to live in this big, tall building.
You could live in a normal apartment.
- [Chadx2] Putin said he wanted that.
- True, he did say he needed to promote high study efficiency.
- [VO] Promoting high study efficiency.
With a staircase made of wooden crates,
conveniently store the child's smelly socks.
- Okay. - Alright.
- Why are his feet catching a stray here?
- Why are they roasting him?
- [Jarvis] These socks were like in their packaging still.
- Then we put this little shit's stinky socks in the drawer.
- His stinky ass socks.
- Stinky ass little kid.
- [VO] At the end, look at this stylish and beautiful bedroom.
- Do you have any final thoughts
on Vladimir Putin and his bedroom?
- I think it promotes high study efficiency.
- Wait, so like. He put in this gigantic bed for a child,
and then is like, oh there's not any room for anything else,
and then his wife got really mad at him,
so she destroyed it all.
- She's just like, this is fucked up.
Fix it.
- [Jarvis] It's kind of a very nice bedroom for a young boy
living in his high rise New York apartment.
- That's a bigger room than I had growing up.
- Oh yeah.
Way higher study efficiency too.
- I didn't have like, walls though.
So this is way better than my room.
- You didn't have walls?
- No. (chuckles)
- They got reused to the mezzanine?
- They got reused to build my aunt's house.
I'm actually serious, I didn't have-
we had like- the upstairs of our house wasn't finished,
and so our rooms were separated by curtains.
- Oh, okay.
- [VO] In this small living room,
instead of the typical setup
with a bulky couch and a cumbersome coffee table,
- Hold on.
What's wrong with a bulky couch and a cumbersome coffee table?
I quite like my bulky couch.
- Those are the main staples of a living room,
so I think it's okay if they take up a lot of space.
- In fact, when people sit on my couch,
they're like, good thing this couch is so bulky.
- Good thing this couch is so bulky
and this coffee table is so cumbersome.
- Yeah. Cause it holds all the things
and comforts me in the ways that I need.
- [VO] Which often accumulates dust
and becomes a hiding spot for secrets.
- (mimicking VO) Becomes a hiding spot for secrets.
How much am I sounding like the guy?
Wait, I'm practicing.
- I actually thought you resumed the video.
- Oh really? I don't believe you.
- (laughs)
- (mimicking) Which often accumulates dust.
- That's really good.
- Dust is always going to be a problem.
- Not if you do what they're about to tell you to do though.
- Okay, well. What do I know?
I don't have an account dedicated to this.
- [VO] Which often accumulates dust
and becomes a hiding spot for secrets.
- What sort of secrets do you think they're hiding in the living room?
Under the couch.
- Financial ones, government ones,
- Government ones, like the nuclear launch codes?
- Putin ones, yeah.
- Did you say Putin ones?
- Putin ones.
- Are those the types of secrets when you have in the diarrhea,
you have pootin'.
- That you write down in your diarrhea.
- Yeah you- pootin' secrets. Pooting.
- Pooting secrets in your diarrhea.
- Ye- yeah.
[crickets chirping]
And you have great fun.
- Good job.
- Thank you.
- [Chadx2] No, it's a fist.
- Hey, whoa whoa whoa.
I didn't- hey, I'm not a husband over here, I'm not-
- But- I-
- Okay, I'll bring it slow.
- Yeahhhh.
- Nice.
- [VO] Utilize the space efficiently
by turning the platform's edge into a functional desk
for tea drinking and office work.
- Why do we need a desk in every single room?
- If you're on your grindset,
if you're hustling hard,
you never know when you're gonna have to bust out the tea
and the laptop and get to work.
- I don't get it.
Cause I'm not on my grindset.
- You wouldn't understand.
- Not on the grind.
- So you can't really criticize those on their grindset
if you are not yourself on thine grind.
- Thine grind?
- Thine grind.
- Thine grind.
- (laughs)
- Place thick cushions on the platform for comfortable seating.
- You can hide secrets in the drawers under the couch instead
of the space underneath the couch - [Chadx2] In the drawers under the couch.
You can put your Putin diarrhea under the couch still.
- Exactly.
- [VO] Comfortable seating, while the wall behind is lined
with storage cabinets to keep clutter at bay.
- Wait, that kind of was bars.
The wall behind is lined with thine grind.
- That's good.
We should make a diss track on uh, these people.
- On visionsofluxury.
- It's fine what thine grind the- the aligned is- is ri- rind.
- (mimicking VO) I eat the rinds of thine grind when thine lines align my mind.
Let me do something real quick.
rhymezone.com. (laughs)
[Chad Chad singing] - The lines align min fine pine,
while rhines in my shrine to Confucius where my children
circle twine, has become benign, so I must design before I find a baseline.
Oh no, a canine. Goodbine.
[laughter]
- [VO] The left side of the sofa,
install cabinets for tissues and daily essentials.
Additionally, include built-in power sockets for convenient
charging of the robotic vacuum cleaner.
- Oh, right. But there's um.
The thing is, you can keep secrets under there.
- Yeah. I'm gonna level with you,
there is a part of me that does love
cabinets and hidden storage. - Yeah.
- I have a lot of cabinets,
and I do love to store household supplies in said cabinets.
- But that's a pantry.
- Right. But what if you want more pantries.
Kind of like a...
kind of like a desk in every room.
- You want a pantry in every room too.
- I want a pantry, I want there to be like hidden secret storage in everything.
Even my bed frame, I have drawers.
- If you can put a drawer there, put the drawer there.
- That's what I live by.
- [VO] This type of living room not only maximizes storage,
but also enhances functionality.
And look the beauty of this living room.
- It looks like shit.
- I wouldn't go that far.
- I hate it.
- Okay. Do you want to expand on that?
- The size of things is way off.
Like look how tiny the coffee table is next to the couch,
- [Jarvis] Yeah, I agree. - [Chadx2] It doesn't make any sense.
- The coffee table for sure they didn't give enough thought to.
I like what they're going for,
but if I'm lounging on the couch,
the fact that there's all these cabinets up here bothers me.
I don't know.
- I also hate how the lines of the drawers
aren't lined up with the cushions of the couch.
- Yeah. That does bother me.
Well, they're kind of in between though,
but they're off center.
Yeah, it's kind of messed up.
They were constructing this,
so they could have probably avoided this issue.
Do we feel like the addition of voiceover has helped or hurt
the mission of these horrible home design channels.
- I feel like it's helped.
They are telling us what materials to use.
They did kind of have, like,
the vibe that they were trying to make tutorials
but without any instructions.
- Except for like, they would be like one screw.
- One screw for the whole room, that was it.
But now they're actually explaining
that we have to go to our aunt's house.
We gotta use the square steel.
- Yeah. You gotta use square galvanized steel,
you need at least two aunts.
- We gotta have 2 billion kids.
- More or less.
- More, preferably.
- Yeah, preferably.
You have to make them dress in prison clothes.
- True. You can't let them get a big idea about themselves.
- If you don't have space for their business casual wear,
for their meetings that they're going to,
then your wife will beat you up.
- Your wife will punch you.
- Yeah, and that's not good, and you don't want that.
- Don't do that.
- Thanks for joining me today.
- You're welcome.
I'll see you next week, or tomorrow,
cause we've upgraded to daily uploads.
- Yeah yeah yeah, every day.
I'll see you tomorrow, and everybody knows in the description
where you can find the 500 other
- You know where to find them - [Jarvis] episodes that we've done.
We don't even really have to explain it,
cause you know exactly where it is.
- We don't have to cause you already know.
- It's always the same, every single time.
Every single time we align the twine.
- We align our mind with thine twine.
- And now, we must dine, and bid you fare-wine.
Goodbine! [laugher]
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