Trump Snoozes Through Stormy Daniels Trial, Kristi Noem Doubles Down on Puppy Slaying
Summary
TLDR在这段《今夜秀》的剧本中,主持人以热情的欢迎开启了节目,与观众分享了纽约市炎热的天气和一些幽默的生活轶事。接着,他以轻松诙谐的方式提到了前总统特朗普在封口费审判中的一些趣闻,包括法庭温度和特朗普的饮食习惯等。此外,还有对南达科他州州长克里斯蒂·诺姆新书中关于她的小狗的故事的讨论,以及一位斯洛伐克欧洲议会成员在会议中释放和平鸽的有趣插曲。节目还涉及了电影新闻,特别是赞达亚的新电影《挑战者》在票房上的成功,并通过一位特别的网球运动记者的视角进行了幽默的分析。最后,主持人介绍了即将到来的节目嘉宾,包括安妮·海瑟薇和梅兰妮·林斯基,并宣布了与福特汽车公司合作的肯塔基德比赛马日抽奖活动,以及一系列与肯塔基德比有关的趣味活动。
Takeaways
- 🎉 欢迎来到《今夜秀》,节目以热烈的掌声和欢呼声开场,营造了热情洋溢的氛围。
- 🌞 纽约市天气炎热,气温超过80华氏度,人们在户外享受夏日时光。
- 😂 主持人以幽默的方式描述了纽约人如何利用空调滴水来降温。
- 📚 前总统特朗普在封口费审判期间抱怨法庭太冷,引发了一些笑话。
- 🚫 特朗普在法庭上只能喝水,这对他的习惯来说是个挑战。
- 👕 明天特朗普将返回法庭继续他的封口费审判,这是审判的第三周。
- 📺 通过使用Ice-T在《法律与秩序》中的片段来回顾审判到目前为止的情况。
- 🐕 南达科他州州长Kristi Noem因在新书中描述射杀自己的小狗而受到批评。
- 🕊 一位斯洛伐克的欧洲议会成员在会议中释放了一只鸽子,以象征和平。
- 🎬 Zendaya的新电影《Challengers》在票房上取得了第一名的成绩。
- 👟 New Balance将发布一款新的运动鞋/乐福鞋混合款式,被称为“The Snoafer”。
- 👵 美国航空公司的系统无法处理一个101岁女性的年龄,导致她被误认为是婴儿。
- 🍷 一位在TikTok上被称为“Wine Guy”的英国男子在伦敦马拉松比赛中喝了25杯葡萄酒。
Q & A
在《今夜秀》节目中,主持人提到了纽约市的天气情况,他是如何描述的?
-主持人描述了纽约市的天气非常热,温度超过了80华氏度,他还幽默地提到了纽约人如何利用空调滴水来降温。
前总统特朗普在法庭上遇到了哪些问题?
-特朗普在法庭上遇到了两个问题:一是他觉得法庭太冷,二是在法庭上他只能喝水,这让他感到不满。
特朗普被控告的罪名是什么?
-特朗普被控告的罪名是向Stormy Daniels支付封口费,以保持他们之间的婚外情秘密。
节目中提到了南达科他州州长Kristi Noem的哪本书?
-节目中提到了南达科他州州长Kristi Noem的新书,其中包含了她因为不良行为而射杀了自己的14个月大的小狗Cricket的故事。
欧洲议会会议上发生的有趣事件是什么?
-在欧洲议会会议上,一位来自斯洛伐克的成员在会议室内放飞了一只鸽子,以此作为一种和平的手势。
Zendaya的新电影《Challengers》的主题是什么?
-Zendaya的新电影《Challengers》是一部关于三名网球运动员之间复杂的爱情三角关系的性感戏剧。
节目中提到的New Balance即将发布的鞋款是什么?
-New Balance即将发布一款运动鞋和便鞋的混合款式,人们称之为'The Snoafer'。
为什么美国航空公司会将一位101岁的女性误认为是婴儿?
-美国航空公司的系统无法处理这位101岁女性的年龄,因此错误地将她识别为婴儿。
在伦敦马拉松中,被称为'Wine Guy'的英国男子做了什么?
-在伦敦马拉松中,这位被称为'Wine Guy'的英国男子在比赛期间喝了25杯葡萄酒。
主持人提到了即将到来的哪些嘉宾?
-主持人提到了Kate Hudson、Doja Cat、Simu Liu、Chrissy Teigen、John Legend以及Tiger Woods和Benny Blanco等即将到来的嘉宾。
主持人如何描述他参加的由Justin Timberlake举办的高尔夫锦标赛?
-主持人描述了他参加的由Justin Timberlake举办的高尔夫锦标赛非常有趣,尽管他没有赢,但他享受了比赛,并感谢Justin和Wynn酒店的款待。
节目中提到的Ford Derby Day Sweepstakes是什么?
-Ford Derby Day Sweepstakes是由Ford公司举办的一个抽奖活动,观众有机会赢得一辆全新的Ford汽车,包括全电动的Mustang Mach-E、全电动的Mustang或EcoBoost动力的Bronco。
Outlines
🎉《今夜秀》开场与纽约天气
开场白中,主持人对观众表示热烈欢迎,并提到了纽约市当天的高温天气,以及人们如何享受这炎热的天气。接着,主持人幽默地提到了前总统特朗普在封口费审判中抱怨法庭太冷的趣闻,以及Stormy Daniels对此的回应。此外,还提到了特朗普在法庭上只能喝水的情况,以及他通常用麦乐鸡酱补充水分的习惯。最后,主持人预告了特朗普第二天将返回法庭继续审判,并以Ice-T Breakdown的形式简要回顾了审判的进展。
📚 南达科他州州长新书争议
南达科他州州长Kristi Noem因其新书中的一个个人故事而面临批评。在书中,Noem描述了她因为不良行为射杀了自己14个月大的小狗Cricket。这一故事引发了公众的强烈反应,人们对此表示震惊和不满。此外,节目中还提到了其他几个话题,包括一位欧洲议会成员在会议中释放和平鸽的创意举动,Zendaya主演的新电影《Challengers》票房成功,以及New Balance即将推出的一款新型运动鞋。
🎵 音乐与赛马节特别活动
节目中介绍了著名钢琴家Lang Lang的即将到来的表演,以及与福特汽车公司合作的肯塔基德比赛马节特别活动。提到了福特公司提供的Ford Derby Day Sweepstakes抽奖活动,观众有机会赢得全新的福特汽车。此外,还宣布了Kentucky Derby Hat Week的开始,每周将有一位幸运观众获得一顶肯塔基德比帽。节目中还提到了即将播出的节目嘉宾,包括Anne Hathaway和Melanie Lynskey,以及即将在NBC播出的新节目《Password》。
Mindmap
Keywords
💡The Tonight Show
💡New York City
💡Trump
💡Ice-T
💡Kristi Noem
💡European Parliament
💡Zendaya
💡Garrett Finnley
💡New Balance
💡Kentucky Derby
💡Lang Lang
Highlights
欢迎来到《今夜秀》,纽约市今天天气炎热,气温超过80度,人们在户外享受着好天气。
特朗普在封口费审判中抱怨法庭太冷,Stormy Daniels回应说已经听过这个借口。
特朗普在法庭上只能喝水,他通常用麦乐鸡酱补充水分,这让他感到不便。
特朗普的封口费审判进入第三周,他被控向Stormy Daniels支付非法款项以保密他们的婚外情。
特朗普不断违反封口令,导致法官不得不频繁提醒他。
南达科他州州长Kristi Noem在她的新书中讲述了自己因不良行为射杀了14个月大的小狗Cricket,引发了批评。
一位斯洛伐克的欧洲议会成员在会议中释放了一只鸽子,以和平的姿态吸引了注意。
Zendaya的新电影《Challengers》讲述了三个网球选手之间的激情三角恋,成为票房冠军。
Garrett Finnley作为球拍运动记者,幽默地评论了网球及其他球拍运动如何适合拍摄情色电影。
New Balance将在今年晚些时候发布一款运动鞋/乐福鞋混合款式,被称为'The Snoafer'。
美国航空公司因系统无法处理高龄而将一位101岁女性误认为婴儿。
一位英国男子在伦敦马拉松比赛中喝了25杯葡萄酒,最终他的嘴唇呈现梅洛红酒的颜色,而他的乳头则呈现出玫瑰红酒的色调。
节目预告了本周即将出演的嘉宾,包括Kate Hudson、Doja Cat、Simu Liu、Chrissy Teigen、John Legend以及Tiger Woods和Benny Blanco。
《今夜秀》将在肯塔基德比赛马当天直播,并有福特汽车公司赞助,届时将有精彩活动。
节目宣布了与福特汽车合作的肯塔基德比赛马日抽奖活动,观众有机会赢得全新的福特汽车。
节目启动了肯塔基德比帽周,每周将赠送一顶肯塔基德比帽给幸运的观众。
安妮·海瑟薇和梅兰妮·林斯基作为嘉宾出演节目,并有著名钢琴家郎朗的表演。
节目最后宣布了《今夜秀》接下来的精彩内容,包括新电影《你的想法》的主演安妮·海瑟薇的访谈。
Transcripts
-Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show," everybody!
What a hot crowd! [ Cheers and applause ]
Oh, my gosh!
Well, it was a beautiful day here in New York City.
Wasn't it beautiful? [ Cheers and applause ]
The temperature's hitting over 80 degrees.
Oh, my goodness. What a treat.
All day long, New Yorkers were sticking out their tongues
and catching the drops of water from A.C. units.
[ Laughter ]
Aw. I remember that as a kid. I love it. Yeah.
Yeah, this morning it was 78 and muggy,
and by this afternoon, it was 81 and sunny.
The weather basically went from this...to this.
[ Laughter ]
81...81...c
[ Chuckles ] 78 and muggy.
Uh, speaking of temperature,
apparently former President Trump has been complaining
during his hush-money trial that the courtroom is too cold.
[ Laughter ]
Then Stormy Daniels was like,
"Your Honor, I've heard that excuse before!"
"Hey. Hey. Everyone! Order! Order!
Order in the court!
I say order!"
-Usher.
-But it's not just the temperature.
Trump's also upset because while the court is in session
he can only drink water.
[ Laughter ]
I guess that's tough for a guy
who usually hydrates with McRib sauce.
So, you know, that's definitely...
[ Slurps ]
That's right. Tomorrow, Trump returns
to court for his hush-money trial.
It's the trial's third week.
And in case you missed what's been going on,
I want to catch you up using clips of Ice-T
from "Law & Order."
It's time for an Ice-T Breakdown.
[ "Law & Order" tones play ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Trump tried to delay the trial, but it didn't work.
And now the judge is looking at Trump's lawyers like...
Now, Trump's charged with making illegal payments
to Stormy Daniels to keep their affair a secret.
He's saying the whole trial is rigged,
but the justice system is saying...
Now, ever -- ever since the trial started,
Trump keeps violating his gag order,
leading the judge to be like...
And so far, Don Jr. hasn't been dragged into this trial
like he has some of the others,
but if he is, people will be like...
Overall, it's wild. An ex-President could go to jail
for trying to cover up his night with a porn star
that he met at a golf tournament,
or as Ice-T put it...
I hope that helped.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Did you guys -- Do you guys see this?
South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem is facing --
-[ Crowd jeers ] -You know it.
She's facing criticism because of a personal story
that she wrote about in her new book.
Check this out.
-South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem,
considered to be in the running to become
former President Trump's pick for vice president,
is responding to the backlash
over a story in her upcoming memoir.
In the book, Noem says she shot
and killed her 14-month-old puppy named Cricket
for bad behavior.
-Woman: What?!
-[ Crowd jeering ] -Woman: Come on!
-When you're trying to win over voters,
I'm not sure being the bad guy in a "John Wick" movie
is the best way to go.
[ Laughter ]
You did what?!
Yeah, people are really gonna hate her next book --
"Kristi Noem: Then I Ate It."
And you go, "Hey. That's..."
It's not about the dog. It's not about the dog!
-No! -It's not about the dog.
It's about the cat. -Yeah.
-Uh, no.
Guys, switching gears, during a recent
European Parliament session, a member from Slovakia
found a creative way to make a gesture of peace.
Watch this.
[ Dove cooing ]
-Thank you. Thank you.
Um...
[ Laughter ]
[ Cymbal crashes ]
-Not bad.
All Europe needs peace.
Yeah, a bird flying around indoors.
The other lawmakers are like, "Uh, hey, sir,
what do you think this is -- a Home Depot?"
Yeah, it flew around for hours,
and then finally they just had to call Kristi Noem in.
-Aww! -[ Audience groans ]
-Some movie news. Over the weekend,
Zendaya's new movie, "Challengers,"
a sex-charged drama... [ Cheers and applause ]
...about three tennis players in a spicy love triangle
took the number-one spot at the box office.
For more on this, we turn once again to
our racquet sport correspondent, Garrett Finnley.
Garrett?
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hey, Jimmy! I didn't expect to be back so soon.
-I didn't expect to see such an erotic movie about tennis,
so, of course, we wanted to get your take.
-Yeah. Dude, this is not a surprise to me at all.
Tennis is the perfect sport for steamy hookups.
Think about it.
Everybody's wearing short shorts and skirts...
"love" means nothing...
and every time they hit the ball,
they go -- [ Moaning ]
Now, I just can't wait for all the other racquet sports
to get the erotic-thriller treatment.
-I'm almost afraid to ask.
-I'm glad you asked, Jimmy.
I mean, take badminton.
I think I mentioned last time
they play with a shuttlecock, right?
Kind of writes itself. -Oh, yeah.
How about pickleball?
-That's for people who want a foursome
but don't want to exert themselves too much.
-Okay. Uh, ping-pong?
-That's for when you want to mix it up
and do it in your parents' basement.
-Paddle-ball.
-Oh, that's for people who want to be spanked.
But -- But if you want to be spanked by an exotic foreigner,
that's puh-dell.
-Alright. I got a last question.
Out of all these erotic racquet sports,
which one do you think would be the best fit for me?
-Uh, I'd go with this one, you know?
[ Laughter ]
Oh...
-You having trouble there?
-Oh...come on.
-You alright? Yeah. You alright?
-I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it.
-Yeah. There you go. Okay. Alright. That's enough, Garrett.
Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
Garrett Finnley, everybody. Garrett Finnley.
-Oh, there it is! There it is! I found it! I found it.
I found it. -Alright. Stop. Alright!
-If I think about it too much... -Get the camera off him.
[ Ball thumping paddle ]
[ Laughter ]
Stop it! Please stop it!
Stop it! Please! Stop! -Ohh!
-Oh. Somebody grab his balls!
[ Laughter ]
-[ Laughs ] Whew.
Well, you can't -- You can't unsee that.
You know? You just can't... -No.
-Guys, get this -- New Balance is releasing
a sneaker/loafer hybrid later this year,
and people are calling it "The Snoafer."
Take a look at this thing.
Yeah. Forget the Snoafer.
They should call those Air Bidens.
[ Laughter ]
Good idea.
Guys, I heard that American Airlines
keeps mistaking a 101-year-old woman for a baby
because its system can't process her age.
Kids are like, "Isn't she cute? She's 1,200 months."
[ Laughter ]
"Isn't she cute?"
[ Applause ]
Flight attendant was like, "Aww. Are her teeth coming in?"
They're like, "Actually her teeth --
Her teeth are actually falling out. Uh, sorry."
And, finally, a British man known on TikTok
as the "Wine Guy" drank 25 glasses of wine
during the London Marathon.
By the end, his lips were the color of Merlot,
while his nipples were giving shades of rosé.
We have a great show.
Give it up for The Roots, ladies and gentlemen!
-♪ I'll make you laugh, go take a bath ♪
♪ You don't know the half of my structure ♪
[ Rapping continues ]
♪♪
-Oh, wow. Good to see you, bud. Good to see everybody.
Sounding good, Roots. Welcome to the show.
We're so happy to be back.
We have a great week of shows coming up.
Kate Hudson will be here this week.
Uh, Doja Cat will be on the show.
Simu Liu will be here. Chrissy Teigen. John Legend.
And tomorrow night, we've got Tiger Woods and Benny Blanco.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Also, tomorrow night, be sure to tune in on NBC at 10 p.m.
for an all-new "Password."
That's all-new tomorrow night with my pal Keke Palmer.
I just saw Keke Palmer. I went to L.A. this past week.
We had this week off. Went out to Los Angeles.
Did a couple, uh, "For your consideration..."
-Ooh! -Yeah. Interviews.
It's Emmy nomination season,
so everyone's going out and just talking to different people.
And Keke interviewed me for, uh,
this "for your consideration" thing.
She's the best. She's just awesome and fun.
But I went out to L.A. I had fun there.
I went to Pink's Hot Dogs. Shout-out to Pink's.
-Oh, yeah. -Had to get some Pink's
while I was out there.
Johnny's Pastrami. -Love it.
-I did that, too. I'm trying to think of what else I did.
Uh -- Oh. I played in this giant tournament.
Oops. I played in this giant --
Justin Timberlake has a giant golf tournament.
And, you know, I'm a big golfer. Yeah.
-Huge. Huge. -So I went.
Yeah. It was great. I lost.
-Oh. What? -Yeah.
Last year, I -- Because I played with Justin.
He's amazing. This guy can do no wrong.
He's just unbelievable.
He can sing, dance, write, play golf.
Whatever he wants to do. Plays paddle tennis.
-A lot. -Everything.
-Everything. -Yeah. He's just so good.
But, yeah. No. This year, we didn't win, so, yeah.
But there's always next year.
But I had the best time. Thanks to Justin.
Thanks to everyone at the Wynn. I had a great time out there.
[ Cheers and applause ]
But I'm excited to be back!
What a show we have for you tonight.
She stars in the new movie "The Idea of You,"
which begins streaming globally on Prime Video this Thursday.
Anne Hathaway is here tonight!
[ Cheers and applause ]
You know her from "Yellowjackets"
and "The Last of Us."
And now you can see her in the new series
"The Tattooist of Auschwitz,"
which is available this Thursday on Peacock.
Melanie Lynskey is joining us!
[ Cheers and applause ]
And we got great music. Oh, my gosh.
The one and only, the super-talented
Lang Lang is here!
[ Cheers and applause ]
"Saint Saens." -"Saint Saens."
-Uh, he's gonna crush it. I'm so happy he's here.
One of the most talented dudes out there.
Guys, this Saturday is the Kentucky Derby,
and our friends over at Ford are the official automotive sponsor,
so they wanted to do something big, okay?
So they wanted to give our viewers a chance
to win a brand-new Ford vehicle of their choice.
[ Cheers and applause ]
This is massive. You got your choice.
You can do an all-electric Mustang Mach-E,
an all-electric Mustang.
These things are fast. Yeah. Mach-E.
And an EcoBoost-powered Bronco.
-Ooh.
-You see those Broncos? They're unbelievable. They're gorgeous.
Or -- because it's the 150th Kentucky Derby --
and F-150 PowerBoost hybrid.
-What?!
-Your choice. You choose.
It's called the Ford Derby Day Sweepstakes.
It is simple to enter.
You just go to tonightshow.com/FordDerbyDay.
Put in all your contact info. You have to be 18 to enter.
You probably -- should probably have your driver's license.
-Yeah. Why not? -I'm assuming.
Seems like a no-brainer, but you never know.
Other than that, you're all good.
The sweepstakes are open right now,
so enter today for your chance to win a brand-new Ford!
Good luck to everyone out there!
[ Cheers and applause ]
We love Ford. They're fun.
I also want to mention another cool thing
that we're doing with Ford. I can't give too much away,
but this Saturday we will be live at the Kentucky Derby,
and we have some really fun stuff planned down there,
so be sure to tune in for that.
That'll be another big thing we're doing.
Speaking of fun stuff with Ford,
it's time to kick off Kentucky Derby Hat Week.
Here we go. -♪ Kentucky Derby Hat Week ♪
♪ Kentucky Derby Hat Week, Kentucky Derby Hat Week ♪
♪♪
-That's right. Every show this week we're giving one
lucky audience member a dashing Kentucky Derby hat
from the Derby Hat starting gate.
Since this is day one, let's open gate number one.
Here we go. Here. You want to help me?
-Oh, yeah. -Thank you, bud. And...
[ Drumroll ]
Wow!
[ Cheers and applause ]
It is a beautiful Kentucky Derby hat.
Now let's see who's going home with tonight's hat.
Everyone, look at your seat number.
If I call your number, I need you to jump up
and let me know where you are
so we can take a look at this hat on you.
Quest, can I get a drumroll, please?
Who wants to win this hat?
It's a good hat. [ Drumroll ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
259!
♪♪
Hey! How you doing?
Get over here!
♪♪
Hello. -Hi!
-How are you doing?
What is your name and where are you from?
-I'm Maddie. I'm from New Jersey.
-Hey, Maddie from New Jersey.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Maddie, the Kentucky Derby is this weekend.
Do you have a hat that you were planning on wearing?
-I don't. This is perfect. -It is, right?
It can go with almost everything, right?
-Everything. -This will go perfect with this.
Would you like to try it on tonight?
-Let's try it on. -Let's do this.
Alright, here we go. Roots, a little hat-trying-on music.
♪♪
There's no real wrong way to do it.
♪♪
That's it there.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You got to lean your head back.
Yeah. Yeah. That's it. You got to lean back.
That's perfect. [ Laughing ]
Maddie, you look so good. -Thank you.
-Can you keep that on for the whole show?
Yes, absolutely. Yes, she can. That's all the time we have.
Stick around. We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show."
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