Weekend Update: Biden's State of the Union, Mitch McConnell Endorses Trump - SNL
Summary
TLDRIn this episode of 'Weekend Update,' hosts Michael Che and Colin Jost discuss President Biden's State of the Union address, which was well-received, even by Trump's ally Lindsey Graham. They poke fun at Biden's use of the term 'shrinkflation' and the Republican response by Alabama Senator Katie Britt. The show also touches on controversial figures like Marjorie Taylor Greene and her conspiracy theories, as well as lighter topics such as a Netflix live stream of a Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul fight and the reported infestation of bed bugs at NBC Studios and 30 Rock. The hosts humorously comment on various news stories, including a social media influencer's arrest and a Pennsylvania man's probation for selling body parts to mortuaries.
Takeaways
- 🗣️ President Biden's State of the Union address was well-received, even amusing Trump supporter Lindsey Graham.
- 📰 The New York Post's headline on Biden's speech was simply 'He's Alive', reflecting low expectations.
- 🤔 Biden's comments on abortion and political power of women were highlighted, with a joke about Vice President Kamala Harris.
- 🗣️ Former President Trump criticized Biden's speech delivery, implying his own oratory skills are superior.
- 🤔 Democrats criticized Biden for using the term 'illegals' when referring to migrants, showing sensitivity to language.
- 🍫 Biden addressed the issue of 'shrinkflation', a term for products shrinking in size but not price, using Snickers bars as an example.
- 🎭 Alabama Senator Katie Britt's Republican response was compared to a one-woman show, with a focus on her acting.
- 🤝 Mitch McConnell officially endorsed Donald Trump for president, despite past differences.
- 🌟 Marjorie Taylor Greene was questioned about her Jewish space lasers conspiracy theory, responding with defiance.
- 🚀 Netflix announced a live stream of a fight between Mike Tyson and Jake Paul, with a joke about Tyson's ability to pronounce 'Netflix'.
Q & A
What was the general reaction to President Biden's State of the Union address?
-The reaction was positive, with even Trump's ally Lindsey Graham seen laughing and enjoying it, indicating that the bar was set low for expectations.
How did the New York Post headline describe President Biden's State of the Union address?
-The New York Post headline simply stated 'He's Alive', suggesting a surprise or relief that Biden was able to deliver the address.
What was the controversial comment made by President Biden regarding women and political power?
-President Biden commented on the political power of women, particularly in the context of abortion rights, which received a significant response from the audience.
How did former President Donald Trump criticize President Biden's speech delivery?
-Donald Trump criticized Biden's speech by saying that the words were not flowing smoothly out of his mouth, implying a lack of eloquence or fluency.
What was the issue with the term 'illegals' used by President Biden?
-Some Democrats criticized President Biden for using the term 'illegals' when referring to migrants, suggesting it was an insensitive or outdated term.
What was the notable response from Alabama Senator Katie Britt during the Republican response?
-Katie Britt's response included dramatic statements and acting, which was criticized as some of the worst acting ever seen, even compared to the hosts' own performances.
What was the unusual endorsement made by Donald Trump for a North Carolina governor candidate?
-Donald Trump endorsed Mark Robinson for North Carolina Governor, referring to him as Martin Luther King on steroids, which is a controversial and potentially offensive comparison.
What was the surprising news about Rupert Murdoch's personal life?
-Rupert Murdoch, at the age of 92, was reported to be set to marry his 67-year-old girlfriend, with a humorous request for wedding gifts being润滑油 (lubricant).
What was the unexpected event involving two male humpback whales?
-For the first time ever, two male humpback whales were photographed engaging in sexual activity, which is a subject of interest and research in marine biology.
What was the unusual incident involving a social media influencer?
-A social media influencer was arrested for allegedly throwing a tampon at bouncers who were removing her from a club, suggesting a disruptive and inappropriate behavior.
What was the peculiar case involving a Pennsylvania man and body parts for mortuaries?
-A Pennsylvania man was sentenced to two years probation for selling body parts for use in mortuaries, but there was no punishment mentioned for the buyer, Arby's, which was humorously referenced in the script.
Outlines
🗣️ Weekend Update with Michael Che and Colin Jost
The first paragraph of the video script features the hosts, Michael Che and Colin Jost, as they introduce their show, 'Weekend Update.' They discuss President Biden's State of the Union address, which was well-received, even amusing Senator Lindsey Graham. The hosts poke fun at the low expectations for Biden's performance, as evidenced by the New York Post's headline, 'He's Alive.' They also touch on Biden's comments on abortion and his interaction with Vice President Kamala Harris. The segment includes a critique of former President Trump's critique of Biden's speech and a joke about Saudi Arabia and Russia. The hosts also address the controversy over the use of the word 'illegals' by Democrats when discussing migrants and the Republican response to Biden's speech, delivered by Alabama Senator Katie Britt. The paragraph concludes with a mention of Mitch McConnell's endorsement of Donald Trump for president and a joke about Marjorie Taylor Green's conspiracy theories.
💔 News Highlights and Personal Updates
The second paragraph continues with the hosts discussing various news items and personal updates. It includes a humorous take on Jet Blue and Spirit Airlines' canceled merger, a report about Rupert Murdoch's upcoming wedding and its unusual registry, and a unique event involving two male humpback whales. The paragraph also covers the arrest of a social media influencer for throwing a tampon, a Pennsylvania man's sentencing for selling body parts, and a joke about Arby's. The segment ends with the hosts signing off for the night, with a sponsored mention of Arby's.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Weekend Update
💡State of the Union
💡Abortion
💡Donald Trump
💡Saudi Arabia and Russia
💡Illegals
💡Shrinkflation
💡Republican Response
💡Marjorie Taylor Greene
💡Rupert Murdoch
Highlights
President Biden delivers the State of the Union address, impressing even Trump's ally Lindsey Graham.
The New York Post's headline on Biden's speech simply states 'He's Alive'.
Biden addresses the issue of abortion, hinting at the political power women hold.
Former President Trump criticizes Biden's speech, commenting on his speech delivery.
Democrats criticize Biden for using the term 'illegals' when discussing migrants.
Biden jokes about 'shrinkflation' affecting Snickers bars, playing on his known stutter.
Alabama Senator Katie Britt delivers the Republican response, with a dramatic performance.
Mitch McConnell officially endorses Donald Trump for President, highlighting their long-standing relationship.
Donald Trump endorses Mark Robinson for North Carolina Governor, with a controversial comparison.
Marjorie Taylor Greene is questioned about her Jewish space lasers conspiracy theory.
Arizona Senator Kirsten Cinema, known for her unique name, announces her retirement.
NBC Studios and 30 Rock are reportedly infested with bed bugs.
Netflix announces a live stream of a fight between Mike Tyson and Jake Paul.
Jet Blue and Spirit Airlines cancel their merger after a federal judge's intervention.
Rupert Murdoch, aged 92, is set to marry his 67-year-old girlfriend.
Two male humpback whales are photographed having sex for the first time.
A social media influencer is arrested for allegedly throwing a tampon at bouncers.
A Pennsylvania man is sentenced to probation for selling body parts to mortuaries.
Transcripts
>> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND
UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND
MICHAEL CHE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>> GOOD EVENING.
THANK YOU, EVERYONE.
>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."
I'M MICHAEL CHE.
>> I'M COLIN JOST.
WELL, ON THURSDAY, SLEEPY JOE
FINALLY WOKE THE HELL UP.
PRESIDENT BIDEN DELIVERED THE
STATE OF THE UNION, AND HE
HONESTLY CRUSHED IT, EVEN
TRUMP'S HOUSE ELF LINDSEY GRAHAM
WAS LAUGHING AND ENJOYING IT.
NORMALLY HE'S ONLY THAT HAPPY
WHEN WATCHING RUE PAUL'S DRAG
RACE.
YOU COULD TELL THE BAR WAS LOW.
THE NEW YORK POST'S HEADLINE WAS
JUST, HE'S ALIVE.
THAT'S IT.
THAT'S LIKE A HEADLINE YOU SEE
ABOUT BIG FOOT.
BIDEN ALSO GOT A BIG RESPONSE
WHILE ADDRESSING THE ISSUE OF
ABORTION WHEN HE SAID WE'RE
ABOUT TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH
POLITICAL POWER WOMEN HAVE, THEN
HE TURNED TO KAMALA AND SAID,
EXCEPT YOU.
FORMER PRESIDENT AND CURRENT
REVERSE MORTGAGE APPLICANT
DONALD TRUMP CRITICIZED BIDEN'S
SPEECH SAYING THE WORDS ARE NOT
FLOWING SMOOTHLY OUT OF HIS
MOUTH.
WELL, WE CAN'T ALL SPEAK WITH
THE SAME EFFORTLESS GRACE AS
DONALD J. TRUMP.
>> JUST RECENTLY HEARD THAT
SAUDI ARABIA AND RUSSIA WILL --
UH --
>> IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE JUST
INSERTED A COLONOSCOPY CAMERA.
>> SOME DEMOCRATS CRITERIA VISED
PRESIDENT BIDEN BY TALKING ABOUT
MIGRANTS BY USING THE WORD
ILLEGALS.
COME ON, HE'S 81 YEARS OLD.
HE MEANS WELL.
LIKE WHEN MY MOM PUT UP THAT
SIGN TO STOP ORIENTAL HATE.
COLIN, YOU GO.
>> BIDEN ALSO TOOK TIME TO SAY
SHRINKFLATION IS AFFECTING
SNICKERS BARS AND PEOPLE PAY THE
SAME AMOUNT FOR 10% FEWER
SNICKERS.
IT'S PRETTY RISKY FOR A WHITE
GUY WITH A STUTTER TO KEEP
SAYING THE WORD SNICKERS.
THE REPUBLICAN RESPONSE WAS
DELIVERED BY ALABAMA SENATOR
KATIE BRITT, WHO MADE SOME
CHOICES.
>> AS A MOM, I CAN'T QUIT
THINKING ABOUT THIS.
MR. PRESIDENT, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
WE SEE YOU.
WE HEAR YOU.
AND WE STAND WITH YOU.
>> THANKS.
THOSE ARE ALL SCENES FROM HER
ONE-WOMAN SHOW, A BRITT MUCH.
IT'S THE PLAY CRITICS ARE
CALLING, IS SHE OKAY?
THAT WAS HONESTLY SOME OF THE
WORST ACTING I'VE EVER SEEN, AND
I'VE SEEN ME.
>> MITCH McCONNELL OFFICIALLY
ENDORSED DONALD TRUMP FOR
PRESIDENT BECAUSE DESPITE THEIR
DIFFERENCES, THEY ACTUALLY GO
WAY BACK.
DONALD TRUMP ENDORSED MARK
ROBINSON FOR NORTH CAROLINA
GOVERNOR CALLING ROBINSON MARTIN
LUTHER KING ON STEROIDS.
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH MARTIN
LUTHER KING ON OZEMPIC.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU GO AGAIN, COLIN.
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T HAVE IT TODAY.
>> I'M GLAD YOU TOLD IT.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREEN, SEEN HERE
DRESSED FOR HER SHIFT AT TGI
CRAZIES WAS QUESTIONED BY A
REPORTER ABOUT HER JEWISH SPACE
LASERS CONSPIRACY THEORY, AND
GREEN RESPONDED LIKE THIS.
>> WHY DON'T YOU GO TALK ABOUT
JEWISH SPACE LASERS, AND REALLY
WHY DON'T YOU [ BLEEP ] OFF?
>> WOW.
EVEN MORE SHOCKING, LOOK WHAT
HAPPENS A LITTLE LATER IN THE
VIDEO.
>> REALLY, WHY DON'T YOU
[ BLEEP ] OFF.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
>> ARIZONA SENATOR KIRSTEN
CINEMA, WHO LOOKS LIKE ALL THE
FLINTSTONES AT ONCE, ANNOUNCED
THAT SHE IS RETIRING FROM THE
SENATE.
BUT I DOUBT ANY OF US WILL EVER
FORGET THE NAME OF SENATOR
CRYSTAL SALMONELLA ALL RIGHT.
>> IT WAS REPORTED THAT NBC
STUDIOS AND 30 ROCK HAVE BEEN
INFESTED WITH BED BUGS.
EVERYBODY LOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS.
>> NETFLIX ANNOUNCED IN JULY IT
WILL LIVE STREAM A FIGHT BETWEEN
MIKE TYSON AND JAKE PAUL.
BUT THE REAL FIGHT WILL BE MIKE
TYSON TRYING TO ANNOUNCE
NETFLIX.
NETFLIX.
>> IT'S HARD TO DO, SEE?
JET BLUE AND SPIRIT AIRLINES
ANNOUNCED THEY ARE CANCELING
THEIR PLANNED MERGER AFTER A
FEDERAL JUDGE TOLD JET BLUE,
GIRL, DON'T.
>> IT WAS REPORTED THAT
92-YEAR-OLD RUPERT MURDOCH IS
SET TO MARRY HIS 67-YEAR-OLD
GIRLFRIEND.
THE COUPLE ASKED IN LIEU OF
WEDDING GIFTS, SEND LUBE.
>> OH, GOOD, ANOTHER ONE.
>> IT WAS REPORTED THAT
92-YEAR-OLD RUPERT MURDOCH IS
SET TO MARRY HIS 67-YEAR-OLD
GIRLFRIEND.
THE COUPLE IS REGISTERED AT
CAMPBELL'S FUNERAL HOME.
OH, BOY, THIS IS A ROUGH DAY FOR
ME, MAN.
>> FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, TWO
MALE HUMPBACK WHALES WERE
PHOTOGRAPHED HAVING SEX.
LEARN MORE ABOUT IT IN THE
HEARTBREAKING DRAMA HUMPBACK
MOUNTAIN.
>> A SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER WAS
ARRESTED FOR ALLEGEDLY THROWING
A TAMPON AT BOUNCERS WHO WERE
REMOVING HER FROM A CLUB.
WELL, AT LEAST WE KNOW WHY SHE
WAS ACTING THAT WAY.
SHOULD I JUST GO HOME?
I'M GOING TO GO HOME.
>> A PENNSYLVANIA MAN HAS BEEN
SENTENCED TO TWO YEARS PROBATION
FOR SELLING BODY PARTS FOR THE
MORTUARIES, BUT STILL NO
PUNISHMENT FOR THE BUYER,
ARBY'S.
>> ARBY'S, WE HAVE YOUR GRANDPA.
>> FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE"
SPONSORED BY ARBY'S, I'M COLIN
JOST.
>> I'M MICHAEL CHE.
GOOD NIGHT.
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