Weekend Update: Biden's State of the Union, Mitch McConnell Endorses Trump - SNL

Saturday Night Live
9 Mar 202406:48

Summary

TLDRIn this episode of 'Weekend Update,' hosts Michael Che and Colin Jost discuss President Biden's State of the Union address, which was well-received, even by Trump's ally Lindsey Graham. They poke fun at Biden's use of the term 'shrinkflation' and the Republican response by Alabama Senator Katie Britt. The show also touches on controversial figures like Marjorie Taylor Greene and her conspiracy theories, as well as lighter topics such as a Netflix live stream of a Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul fight and the reported infestation of bed bugs at NBC Studios and 30 Rock. The hosts humorously comment on various news stories, including a social media influencer's arrest and a Pennsylvania man's probation for selling body parts to mortuaries.

Takeaways

  • đŸ—Łïž President Biden's State of the Union address was well-received, even amusing Trump supporter Lindsey Graham.
  • 📰 The New York Post's headline on Biden's speech was simply 'He's Alive', reflecting low expectations.
  • đŸ€” Biden's comments on abortion and political power of women were highlighted, with a joke about Vice President Kamala Harris.
  • đŸ—Łïž Former President Trump criticized Biden's speech delivery, implying his own oratory skills are superior.
  • đŸ€” Democrats criticized Biden for using the term 'illegals' when referring to migrants, showing sensitivity to language.
  • đŸ« Biden addressed the issue of 'shrinkflation', a term for products shrinking in size but not price, using Snickers bars as an example.
  • 🎭 Alabama Senator Katie Britt's Republican response was compared to a one-woman show, with a focus on her acting.
  • đŸ€ Mitch McConnell officially endorsed Donald Trump for president, despite past differences.
  • 🌟 Marjorie Taylor Greene was questioned about her Jewish space lasers conspiracy theory, responding with defiance.
  • 🚀 Netflix announced a live stream of a fight between Mike Tyson and Jake Paul, with a joke about Tyson's ability to pronounce 'Netflix'.

Q & A

  • What was the general reaction to President Biden's State of the Union address?

    -The reaction was positive, with even Trump's ally Lindsey Graham seen laughing and enjoying it, indicating that the bar was set low for expectations.

  • How did the New York Post headline describe President Biden's State of the Union address?

    -The New York Post headline simply stated 'He's Alive', suggesting a surprise or relief that Biden was able to deliver the address.

  • What was the controversial comment made by President Biden regarding women and political power?

    -President Biden commented on the political power of women, particularly in the context of abortion rights, which received a significant response from the audience.

  • How did former President Donald Trump criticize President Biden's speech delivery?

    -Donald Trump criticized Biden's speech by saying that the words were not flowing smoothly out of his mouth, implying a lack of eloquence or fluency.

  • What was the issue with the term 'illegals' used by President Biden?

    -Some Democrats criticized President Biden for using the term 'illegals' when referring to migrants, suggesting it was an insensitive or outdated term.

  • What was the notable response from Alabama Senator Katie Britt during the Republican response?

    -Katie Britt's response included dramatic statements and acting, which was criticized as some of the worst acting ever seen, even compared to the hosts' own performances.

  • What was the unusual endorsement made by Donald Trump for a North Carolina governor candidate?

    -Donald Trump endorsed Mark Robinson for North Carolina Governor, referring to him as Martin Luther King on steroids, which is a controversial and potentially offensive comparison.

  • What was the surprising news about Rupert Murdoch's personal life?

    -Rupert Murdoch, at the age of 92, was reported to be set to marry his 67-year-old girlfriend, with a humorous request for wedding gifts being涊滑æČč (lubricant).

  • What was the unexpected event involving two male humpback whales?

    -For the first time ever, two male humpback whales were photographed engaging in sexual activity, which is a subject of interest and research in marine biology.

  • What was the unusual incident involving a social media influencer?

    -A social media influencer was arrested for allegedly throwing a tampon at bouncers who were removing her from a club, suggesting a disruptive and inappropriate behavior.

  • What was the peculiar case involving a Pennsylvania man and body parts for mortuaries?

    -A Pennsylvania man was sentenced to two years probation for selling body parts for use in mortuaries, but there was no punishment mentioned for the buyer, Arby's, which was humorously referenced in the script.

Outlines

00:00

đŸ—Łïž Weekend Update with Michael Che and Colin Jost

The first paragraph of the video script features the hosts, Michael Che and Colin Jost, as they introduce their show, 'Weekend Update.' They discuss President Biden's State of the Union address, which was well-received, even amusing Senator Lindsey Graham. The hosts poke fun at the low expectations for Biden's performance, as evidenced by the New York Post's headline, 'He's Alive.' They also touch on Biden's comments on abortion and his interaction with Vice President Kamala Harris. The segment includes a critique of former President Trump's critique of Biden's speech and a joke about Saudi Arabia and Russia. The hosts also address the controversy over the use of the word 'illegals' by Democrats when discussing migrants and the Republican response to Biden's speech, delivered by Alabama Senator Katie Britt. The paragraph concludes with a mention of Mitch McConnell's endorsement of Donald Trump for president and a joke about Marjorie Taylor Green's conspiracy theories.

05:01

💔 News Highlights and Personal Updates

The second paragraph continues with the hosts discussing various news items and personal updates. It includes a humorous take on Jet Blue and Spirit Airlines' canceled merger, a report about Rupert Murdoch's upcoming wedding and its unusual registry, and a unique event involving two male humpback whales. The paragraph also covers the arrest of a social media influencer for throwing a tampon, a Pennsylvania man's sentencing for selling body parts, and a joke about Arby's. The segment ends with the hosts signing off for the night, with a sponsored mention of Arby's.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Weekend Update

Weekend Update is a recurring segment on the American television show Saturday Night Live (SNL), where the hosts, in this case, Colin Jost and Michael Che, provide a satirical news summary of the week's events. It's known for its humorous take on current affairs and is a key part of the show's format.

💡State of the Union

The State of the Union address is an annual speech delivered by the President of the United States to a joint session of Congress. In the context of the script, it's mentioned as a significant political event where President Biden is said to have performed well, even amusing critics like Lindsey Graham.

💡Abortion

Abortion is the termination of a pregnancy by the removal or expulsion of an embryo or fetus before it can survive outside the uterus. In the script, Biden's comments on the issue are highlighted, indicating the ongoing political and social debate surrounding this topic in the United States.

💡Donald Trump

Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States and a prominent figure in American politics. The script references his criticism of Biden's speech, showcasing the ongoing political rivalry and the media's focus on their interactions.

💡Saudi Arabia and Russia

Saudi Arabia and Russia are two major oil-producing countries with significant influence on global energy markets. The script hints at a collaboration or event involving these nations, which could have implications for international politics and economics.

💡Illegals

The term 'illegals' is often used to refer to individuals who are in a country without legal permission, particularly in the context of immigration. The script criticizes President Biden for using this term when discussing migrants, reflecting the sensitive and controversial nature of immigration policy.

💡Shrinkflation

Shrinkflation is an economic term referring to the practice of reducing the size or quantity of a product while keeping the price the same or only slightly reduced. In the script, it's humorously applied to Snickers bars, illustrating the concept in a relatable consumer context.

💡Republican Response

The Republican Response is a rebuttal or alternative perspective to the State of the Union address, delivered by a member of the Republican Party. In the script, Alabama Senator Katie Britt is mentioned as delivering the response, which is a political tradition that highlights the differing viewpoints within the U.S. government.

💡Marjorie Taylor Greene

Marjorie Taylor Greene is a U.S. Representative known for her controversial statements and conspiracy theories. The script references her being questioned about a Jewish space lasers conspiracy theory, which is an example of the political extremism and misinformation discussed in the show.

💡Rupert Murdoch

Rupert Murdoch is a media mogul and the founder of News Corp. The script humorously mentions his engagement to a younger girlfriend, poking fun at the personal lives of public figures and the media's interest in their relationships.

Highlights

President Biden delivers the State of the Union address, impressing even Trump's ally Lindsey Graham.

The New York Post's headline on Biden's speech simply states 'He's Alive'.

Biden addresses the issue of abortion, hinting at the political power women hold.

Former President Trump criticizes Biden's speech, commenting on his speech delivery.

Democrats criticize Biden for using the term 'illegals' when discussing migrants.

Biden jokes about 'shrinkflation' affecting Snickers bars, playing on his known stutter.

Alabama Senator Katie Britt delivers the Republican response, with a dramatic performance.

Mitch McConnell officially endorses Donald Trump for President, highlighting their long-standing relationship.

Donald Trump endorses Mark Robinson for North Carolina Governor, with a controversial comparison.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is questioned about her Jewish space lasers conspiracy theory.

Arizona Senator Kirsten Cinema, known for her unique name, announces her retirement.

NBC Studios and 30 Rock are reportedly infested with bed bugs.

Netflix announces a live stream of a fight between Mike Tyson and Jake Paul.

Jet Blue and Spirit Airlines cancel their merger after a federal judge's intervention.

Rupert Murdoch, aged 92, is set to marry his 67-year-old girlfriend.

Two male humpback whales are photographed having sex for the first time.

A social media influencer is arrested for allegedly throwing a tampon at bouncers.

A Pennsylvania man is sentenced to probation for selling body parts to mortuaries.

Transcripts

00:01

>> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND

00:02

UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND

00:05

MICHAEL CHE.

00:07

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

00:13

>>> GOOD EVENING.

00:14

THANK YOU, EVERYONE.

00:15

>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."

00:16

I'M MICHAEL CHE.

00:17

>> I'M COLIN JOST.

00:19

WELL, ON THURSDAY, SLEEPY JOE

00:22

FINALLY WOKE THE HELL UP.

00:24

PRESIDENT BIDEN DELIVERED THE

00:26

STATE OF THE UNION, AND HE

00:29

HONESTLY CRUSHED IT, EVEN

00:31

TRUMP'S HOUSE ELF LINDSEY GRAHAM

00:35

WAS LAUGHING AND ENJOYING IT.

00:38

NORMALLY HE'S ONLY THAT HAPPY

00:40

WHEN WATCHING RUE PAUL'S DRAG

00:43

RACE.

00:43

YOU COULD TELL THE BAR WAS LOW.

00:44

THE NEW YORK POST'S HEADLINE WAS

00:48

JUST, HE'S ALIVE.

00:50

THAT'S IT.

00:50

THAT'S LIKE A HEADLINE YOU SEE

00:52

ABOUT BIG FOOT.

00:53

BIDEN ALSO GOT A BIG RESPONSE

00:54

WHILE ADDRESSING THE ISSUE OF

00:56

ABORTION WHEN HE SAID WE'RE

00:58

ABOUT TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH

01:00

POLITICAL POWER WOMEN HAVE, THEN

01:01

HE TURNED TO KAMALA AND SAID,

01:02

EXCEPT YOU.

01:09

FORMER PRESIDENT AND CURRENT

01:11

REVERSE MORTGAGE APPLICANT

01:14

DONALD TRUMP CRITICIZED BIDEN'S

01:17

SPEECH SAYING THE WORDS ARE NOT

01:19

FLOWING SMOOTHLY OUT OF HIS

01:22

MOUTH.

01:22

WELL, WE CAN'T ALL SPEAK WITH

01:25

THE SAME EFFORTLESS GRACE AS

01:26

DONALD J. TRUMP.

01:27

>> JUST RECENTLY HEARD THAT

01:30

SAUDI ARABIA AND RUSSIA WILL --

01:34

UH --

01:34

>> IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE JUST

01:37

INSERTED A COLONOSCOPY CAMERA.

01:42

>> SOME DEMOCRATS CRITERIA VISED

01:45

PRESIDENT BIDEN BY TALKING ABOUT

01:48

MIGRANTS BY USING THE WORD

01:50

ILLEGALS.

01:50

COME ON, HE'S 81 YEARS OLD.

01:53

HE MEANS WELL.

01:54

LIKE WHEN MY MOM PUT UP THAT

01:57

SIGN TO STOP ORIENTAL HATE.

02:00

COLIN, YOU GO.

02:01

>> BIDEN ALSO TOOK TIME TO SAY

02:03

SHRINKFLATION IS AFFECTING

02:06

SNICKERS BARS AND PEOPLE PAY THE

02:10

SAME AMOUNT FOR 10% FEWER

02:13

SNICKERS.

02:14

IT'S PRETTY RISKY FOR A WHITE

02:17

GUY WITH A STUTTER TO KEEP

02:19

SAYING THE WORD SNICKERS.

02:20

THE REPUBLICAN RESPONSE WAS

02:21

DELIVERED BY ALABAMA SENATOR

02:24

KATIE BRITT, WHO MADE SOME

02:26

CHOICES.

02:26

>> AS A MOM, I CAN'T QUIT

02:32

THINKING ABOUT THIS.

02:33

MR. PRESIDENT, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

02:36

WE SEE YOU.

02:38

WE HEAR YOU.

02:41

AND WE STAND WITH YOU.

02:44

>> THANKS.

02:50

THOSE ARE ALL SCENES FROM HER

02:51

ONE-WOMAN SHOW, A BRITT MUCH.

02:54

IT'S THE PLAY CRITICS ARE

02:55

CALLING, IS SHE OKAY?

02:58

THAT WAS HONESTLY SOME OF THE

03:00

WORST ACTING I'VE EVER SEEN, AND

03:00

I'VE SEEN ME.

03:05

>> MITCH McCONNELL OFFICIALLY

03:07

ENDORSED DONALD TRUMP FOR

03:08

PRESIDENT BECAUSE DESPITE THEIR

03:10

DIFFERENCES, THEY ACTUALLY GO

03:11

WAY BACK.

03:14

DONALD TRUMP ENDORSED MARK

03:15

ROBINSON FOR NORTH CAROLINA

03:17

GOVERNOR CALLING ROBINSON MARTIN

03:19

LUTHER KING ON STEROIDS.

03:21

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH MARTIN

03:23

LUTHER KING ON OZEMPIC.

03:27

ALL RIGHT.

03:27

YOU GO AGAIN, COLIN.

03:29

I DON'T KNOW.

03:30

I DON'T HAVE IT TODAY.

03:30

>> I'M GLAD YOU TOLD IT.

03:33

MARJORIE TAYLOR GREEN, SEEN HERE

03:34

DRESSED FOR HER SHIFT AT TGI

03:37

CRAZIES WAS QUESTIONED BY A

03:39

REPORTER ABOUT HER JEWISH SPACE

03:42

LASERS CONSPIRACY THEORY, AND

03:44

GREEN RESPONDED LIKE THIS.

03:45

>> WHY DON'T YOU GO TALK ABOUT

03:48

JEWISH SPACE LASERS, AND REALLY

03:49

WHY DON'T YOU [ BLEEP ] OFF?

03:51

>> WOW.

03:52

EVEN MORE SHOCKING, LOOK WHAT

03:54

HAPPENS A LITTLE LATER IN THE

03:57

VIDEO.

03:57

>> REALLY, WHY DON'T YOU

03:58

[ BLEEP ] OFF.

03:58

HOW ABOUT THAT?

04:06

>> ARIZONA SENATOR KIRSTEN

04:09

CINEMA, WHO LOOKS LIKE ALL THE

04:12

FLINTSTONES AT ONCE, ANNOUNCED

04:14

THAT SHE IS RETIRING FROM THE

04:16

SENATE.

04:16

BUT I DOUBT ANY OF US WILL EVER

04:19

FORGET THE NAME OF SENATOR

04:25

CRYSTAL SALMONELLA ALL RIGHT.

04:28

>> IT WAS REPORTED THAT NBC

04:31

STUDIOS AND 30 ROCK HAVE BEEN

04:33

INFESTED WITH BED BUGS.

04:34

EVERYBODY LOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS.

04:36

>> NETFLIX ANNOUNCED IN JULY IT

04:38

WILL LIVE STREAM A FIGHT BETWEEN

04:40

MIKE TYSON AND JAKE PAUL.

04:41

BUT THE REAL FIGHT WILL BE MIKE

04:43

TYSON TRYING TO ANNOUNCE

04:45

NETFLIX.

04:53

NETFLIX.

04:54

>> IT'S HARD TO DO, SEE?

04:56

JET BLUE AND SPIRIT AIRLINES

04:59

ANNOUNCED THEY ARE CANCELING

05:01

THEIR PLANNED MERGER AFTER A

05:03

FEDERAL JUDGE TOLD JET BLUE,

05:05

GIRL, DON'T.

05:06

>> IT WAS REPORTED THAT

05:08

92-YEAR-OLD RUPERT MURDOCH IS

05:09

SET TO MARRY HIS 67-YEAR-OLD

05:12

GIRLFRIEND.

05:13

THE COUPLE ASKED IN LIEU OF

05:14

WEDDING GIFTS, SEND LUBE.

05:23

>> OH, GOOD, ANOTHER ONE.

05:25

>> IT WAS REPORTED THAT

05:28

92-YEAR-OLD RUPERT MURDOCH IS

05:29

SET TO MARRY HIS 67-YEAR-OLD

05:31

GIRLFRIEND.

05:32

THE COUPLE IS REGISTERED AT

05:34

CAMPBELL'S FUNERAL HOME.

05:36

OH, BOY, THIS IS A ROUGH DAY FOR

05:38

ME, MAN.

05:39

>> FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, TWO

05:42

MALE HUMPBACK WHALES WERE

05:43

PHOTOGRAPHED HAVING SEX.

05:44

LEARN MORE ABOUT IT IN THE

05:47

HEARTBREAKING DRAMA HUMPBACK

05:49

MOUNTAIN.

05:51

>> A SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER WAS

05:53

ARRESTED FOR ALLEGEDLY THROWING

05:55

A TAMPON AT BOUNCERS WHO WERE

05:59

REMOVING HER FROM A CLUB.

06:00

WELL, AT LEAST WE KNOW WHY SHE

06:02

WAS ACTING THAT WAY.

06:07

SHOULD I JUST GO HOME?

06:08

I'M GOING TO GO HOME.

06:10

>> A PENNSYLVANIA MAN HAS BEEN

06:14

SENTENCED TO TWO YEARS PROBATION

06:15

FOR SELLING BODY PARTS FOR THE

06:17

MORTUARIES, BUT STILL NO

06:19

PUNISHMENT FOR THE BUYER,

06:21

ARBY'S.

06:22

>> ARBY'S, WE HAVE YOUR GRANDPA.

06:26

>> FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE"

06:30

SPONSORED BY ARBY'S, I'M COLIN

06:31

JOST.

06:31

>> I'M MICHAEL CHE.

06:32

GOOD NIGHT.