Desi Lydic on Trump's Nebraska Electoral Vote Play & The 2024 Solar Eclipse | The Daily Show

Before we get into the major news,

let's start with some news right here in New York City.

The New York City Marathon, the best excuse for soiling

yourself in public.

Now, unfortunately, the cost of running the marathon

are overwhelming-- from registration fees,

to travel, to chronic bloody nips.

And now the price might go up even higher.

It's a battle brewing over the New York City Marathon now.

Because the MTA wants the New York City Road Runners

to cover the cost of lost tolls on that day, $750,000

worth, because they have to shut down the Verrazano Bridge.

In a statement, the MTA says taxpayers "cannot be expected

to subsidize a wealthy, non-government organization

like the Road Runners."

So that could mean steeper fees for those runners

to enter the marathon.

If that's what it's going to take to run the marathon,

I think a lot of runners are going

to just suck it up and do it.

Oh, Well, that's kind of frustrating.

It's already like super high.

Yeah.

Because New York's one of the most popular marathons to run.

Come on, you couldn't even wait for her to cool down?

Dude, you know that run is the 20 minutes of peace

that woman had all day.

Now, the marathon does generate a lot of money

for New York City.

So you might be asking, is it fair to charge

runners even more money?

[BLEEP] yeah, it is!

Yeah, if-- if you're going to take over the city

and shove it in our face how fit you are,

that you have goals that you achieve, then yeah,

you should have to pay for it.

In fact, they should pay every time they

tell us they ran the marathon.

Yeah.

[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

Yeah. We know.

It was three days ago.

You can take off the silver blanket.

And for anyone who thinks this will make the marathon too

expensive, might I interest you in a much cheaper alternative?

It's called Love Island and three pints of Haagen-Dazs.

I win every time.

But let's move on to the presidential race.

It's the reason your therapist drives a Porsche.

At least mine does.

I don't know.

As you know, the president is decided

by the electoral college--

the incredibly over-complicated system that our founders

came up with as a prank on future generations.

And most states award all their electoral votes

to whoever wins the state.

But Nebraska splits theirs up by district.

And in 2020, that meant Joe Biden

received an electoral vote from Liberal Omaha.

Because as it turns out, every state has a Brooklyn.

But now Donald Trump has realized

that he wants that vote, and that

could make all the difference.

Could the election all come down to Nebraska?

Donald Trump thinks so.

He and his allies convincing Nebraska's Republican governor

to support a major change in the way the state has

been doling out its electoral college votes

for the past 32 years.

Governor Jim Pillen says it's time for Nebraska to speak

with one unified voice by making

the popular vote be the one that

counts for all five delegates.

Former President Trump applauds that effort.

But Democrats pushed back.

Pathetic worm Donald Trump thinks

that he knows what's best for Nebraska

and what Nebraskans want.

But this man obviously wants this electoral vote,

because he's so scared he can't win the presidency without it.

Excuse me, ma'am.

But whatever happened to decorum?

That's "Former President Pathetic Worm."

[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

Yeah.

But the implications here are huge.

Biden's easiest path to the White House

is to win Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Michigan,

plus that one Nebraska vote.

If he gets that, he can lose every other swing state

and still win the election.

But if Nebraska makes this change,

the election could end up in a tie.

And you might be wondering, what happens in that case?

Well, it's simple, really.

Have you ever seen The Purge movies?

It's like that.

Nebraska should really, truly keep this system though.

Because it's certainly a more fair way

to divide up electoral votes than winner take all.

In fact, what if every state split up their votes

like Nebraska, by district?

Or maybe even by person, you know?

Then whoever wins the most persons would be president.

[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

That would be pretty popular.

Oh!

We could call it the popular vote!

I don't know, I'm just spitballing.

But let's move on to some exciting science news.

Next Monday, a solar eclipse will totally block out

the sun over parts of America.

And we're all looking forward to having one brief moment when

you can look up into the sky and see something

besides the door of a Boeing airplane

plummeting toward the ground.

But it's not just a moment for humans.

An eclipse offers a once-in-a-lifetime

opportunity for Rudy Giuliani to come

out and feed during the day.

Yeah, it's good for him.

It's good for him.

Now, in the old days, a total eclipse

would be a time when people would

gather together as a community and burn the witches

responsible for it.

But these days, we commemorate it

in the modern, enlightened way, by trying to make that money.

This eclipse is causing a travel boom

for small towns in its path.

Hotels are up about 550% in cities like Jackson, Missouri,

where it'll cost on average more than $600 a night.

In Erie, Pennsylvania, it's almost $800.

Companies are rushing to cash in.

Some of the strangest sun-inspired foods,

including chips you can only get during the eclipse.

Krispy Kreme is even teaming up with Oreos for a donut

featuring cookie pieces.

To catch the eclipse from the sky.

Delta offering a flight from Austin

to Detroit to give onlookers an out-of-this-world view.

Wow.

Talk about a flight where you do not

want to be in the middle seat.

Imagine you end up sitting next to that guy who

insists on keeping his window shade down.

Although, how cool to celebrate the once-in-a-lifetime

event of a Delta flight taking off on time.

[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

I love how every civilization honors

the heavens in their own way.

The ancient Incas built Machu Picchu,

America put an Oreo on a donut.

Really milking this event for everything it's worth.

But-- but look.

We can't deny that the eclipse truly

is a rare, magical moment.

For those lucky enough to be in its path,

you'll never forget that you saw that.

And nothing-- nothing can take that away from you.

Weather and clouds might get in the way

of perfect eclipse viewing in many parts of the country.

Mother [BLEEP].

For more on how towns across America

are celebrating the eclipse, we have our news team

live in the path of totality--

Ronny Chieng in Kerrville, Texas--

[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

--and Jordan Klepper in Jackson, Missouri.

Guys, what's the mood like where-- where you are?

Oh, it's amazing, Desi.

I thought this small town would be full of dumb rubes.

But it's actually full of the friendliest and most

welcoming rubes I've ever met.

So nice to see you America stop fighting for one day

and watch the sun put on a show.

Same here, Desi.

Knowing how small we are in the vastness of space

has brought everyone together in love and friendship

to wear repurposed avatar 3D glasses.

So I agree with everything Ronny said, except for the part

about the sun.

Everyone knows the moon is the real star here.

I'm sorry, Jordan.

Well, the moon is supporting.

But the sun is the real star here.

I mean, it's literally a star.

I'm sorry they didn't teach you that in American kindergarten.

Obviously, I meant star metaphorically.

They must not teach metaphors wherever

you went to community college.

The sun is not why people are putting aside their differences

and coming together, dipshit.

They're watching the moon cross over the sun.

Unlike you, most people don't stare at the sun all day.

OK, guys, guys.

Let's not fall apart over this.

The sun and the moon are equally important here.

Oh!

Oh, sure, yeah!

Equally important.

Because if the sun disappears, I mean, all that happens

is we all freeze to death.

And god forbid the moon goes away.

Then we'll be, what?

Harder to surf?

And Jordan won't get his period anymore?

OK.

You put some respect on the moon, all right?

It's our cultural touchstone.

Good Night, Moon, Moonlight Sonata.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie,

that's amore!

Tell me this.

Tell me this.

Have you ever-- have you ever gotten a moonburn?

No.

Worst thing that happens under the moonlight

is that you fall in love, or turn into a werewolf.

Either way, it's [BLEEP] awesome.

Oh, sorry.

Do you-- did you say moonlight?

You mean the light that reflects from the sun?

Yo, the moon is nothing!

It's a rock!

Good thing it has a weak gravitational

pull so people can leave it easier.

Oh! Oh!

I thought you'd like the weak gravity, because it's the one

place in the universe where you could actually

dunk a basketball, smart ass.

OK, guys, guys, guys.

Stop this.

I thought this eclipse would bring us together.

Shut up, Desi!

Yeah, shut up, Desi!

You probably like Mars or some stupid shit.

Yeah. [BLEEP] Mars!

All right?

Look, the moon doesn't have shit on the sun.

OK?

You wouldn't even know the moon exists

if it wasn't for the sun.

So don't act like the sun isn't the most important part

of the eclipse, all right? - No!

Wait. Wait.

No.

- Wait, what are you doing? - Oh.

- What are you doing? - I'm eclipsing you.

I'm eclipsing.

I'm a passing in front, which the more powerful body can do.

Get out of my box!

No, all hail the moon!

- All hail the sun! - All hail the moon!

The - All hail the sun!

The sun! - The moon!

Sun! Sun!

Eat my [INAUDIBLE].

The sun! The sun!

You like this, don't you?

Sorry I even tried.

Ronny Chieng and Jordan Klepper, everyone.