Fitness Influencers Pretending to be Monkeys

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wait enjoy the video folks think of your

top three favorite animals right now you

got it now if a monkey is isn't in your

top three you're an idiot you are

objectively wrong show me one animal

other than a monkey that picks his butt

sniffs his finger and then falls off of

a tree branch from the stench don't

worry I'll

wait dude straight up I've always loved

monkeys the Build-A-Bear I got when I

was a kid was a monkey I had an

imaginary friend when I was a kid and he

was a gorilla and also I used to watch

MVP most valuable primate MVP 2 most

vertical primate and mxp most extreme

primate like every single week that's

like the Trilogy of all time wait a

minute it's a monkey and I assumed I was

in the top 1% of monkey fans but I just

found out that is not true I'm not even

close it's like when you see someone

post their Spotify wrapped on their

story and it says like they're the

0.1% fan of someone you're like how the

[ __ ] that even possible that's me with

monkeys my monkey rat because I just

became aware of a very small group of

people who not only love monkeys but

they are actually living their lives

like monkeys like they are quite

literally going bananas I had to get

that joke out of the way there are

people out there who are climbing trees

walking on all fours like gorillas

swinging on vines making monkey

sounds they're going absolutely monkey

mode so I first found out about this

lifestyle from this guy's Instagram page

his name is Leo Urban I think it's

pronounced leoan he's French and he has

the last name Urban the same way Keith

Urban does you know it's weird they have

that last name because both of these

guys seem pretty Rural and this guy is

known online as the real life Tarzan and

there's like a ton of Articles and

videos about him he also competes in

like professional tag which I just found

out was a real [ __ ] thing they got to

do that with other childhood games but

hide-and-seek in the Olympics DB Cooper

number one draft pick yes before we get

into this video and before I talk about

the this monkey movement at length I

just want to say I am in no way trying

to like shame these people for doing

this you can do whatever you want as

long as it's not hurting anybody okay

but I just think it's really interesting

and also really silly so I'm going to

goof on it a little bit sorry so I

watched a bunch of videos of Leo Urban

and I'll say this they're objectively

impressive there's videos of him

swinging on vines and branches climbing

and jumping around trees like it's

nothing it's pretty nuts and I was

immediately intrigued by this the first

question I had was like how far does

this go like what length does he live

his life as a monkey like is this just a

strictly fitness thing or an entire

lifestyle so let's go to his website and

find out so he calls this whole thing

Primal parkour and he defines it as

Primal parkour is inspired by Urban

parkour but it essentially takes shape

in nature the practitioner evolves in a

mixed and rugged environment in which he

will find his only inspiration o I guess

it's only for boys sorry controversial

take but I feel like all monkeys are

boys it's like how all cats are girls

and all dogs are boys they will find

their only inspiration the power of the

elements animals and the genetic

Heritage of our ancestors and on his

website he actually sells a booklet

called the introduction to Primal

parkour where you get the origins of

Primal parkour a warm-up program

introductory exercises in tree and rock

climbing and get this a glossery I don't

know how [ __ ] monkey like it is to

read a booklet you know like I feel like

if there was a booklet on how to be a

monkey the first page would be like

[ __ ] rip this out and eat it [ __ ]

chew on it I don't care wipe your ass

with it but if we scroll down a little

further he goes into more detail the

origins Primal has always existed

throughout history humans have had to

use their physical and instinctive

abilities to move hunt and defend

themselves in the 9s David Bell founded

parkour he was inspired by and adapted

it mainly to the urban environment in

2006 I discovered this Sport and living

at an altitude of 1,600 m i adapted

these techniques in this environment

quickly I achieved great Barefoot

performances which made me known in the

discipline values playing Outdoors all

year round while bare chested and bare

chested requires discipline and

perseverance respect for nature is

essential because it is the condition of

our Evolution through this this practice

you will strengthen values such as

courage perseverance humility and

respect all right I don't know about you

guys but I'm hooked this seems super

awesome and productive and not weird at

all so let's find out what the next main

aspect of this way of life

[Music]

is all right okay so before we can even

walk we wear shoes our best shoe is our

foot walking barefoot has unsuspected

benefits so take off your shoes and

enjoy yourself come on take them off

pick your Dan Schneider be like it is a

little bit too upfront about that aspect

of it you know like I think I think the

unsuspected benefits he's talking about

are only for him me seeing your feet

will benefit me greatly he does mention

the foot thing a lot and I'm sure that's

a pivotal part of this lifestyle but

like come on man for free really dude at

least put it behind a pay wall and make

that pay wall high enough that you can't

[ __ ] parkour over but you know I

guess it makes sense because monkeys are

usually bare feet you know they always

got their dogs out sometimes they wear

shoes and it's awesome and all jokes

aside from watching a lot of Leo's

content he seems like a really cool

genuine nice guy so I don't think like

the bare feet thing is coming from a

place of like perversion or anything

obviously but I think just like a

general rule of thumb or rule of toe if

a fitness influencer wants to see your

feet like right off the bat that's a

pretty big red flag all right thank you

so much for joining the monkey Madness

Fitness class now this is a pretty

exclusive program so I need to do a

quick screening process yeah for sure

all right first off let me see your feet

uh yeah sure makes sense you know

monkeys I guess monkeys didn't wear

shoes Okay makes sense okay my shoes are

off

great screening

process yeah good luck man thanks man

thank you so much for meeting with me I

have a lot to think about here I I'll

report back to my team and we'll be in

touch okay and don't worry my current

erection is completely unrelated to me

sucking on your toes see you later great

thanks wow I hope I get in hey you must

be David I'm the real life Tarzan are

you ready for your screening

process wait if you're the real life

Tarzan who the [ __ ] just sucked my toes

in theaters this summer the toe sucker

to trouble is a foot I seen a lot of

comments over the years saying that my

cutaway sketches go on for a little bit

too long and uh to that I

say you're probably right so how about

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video back to me so the first video I

actually saw of Leo was a really weird

one because it's like clearly AI

generated with like the voice over and

stuff how about getting back into the

wild tarz and style he lives for nature

and in nature and it did a pretty good

job of explaining what Leo's all about

Leo rin a 17 years of Parkour practice

practice behind him but it also had some

pretty weird statements in there you'll

need a few years of free running

experience in a body made of

steel perfect are monkeys bodies made of

steel should have paid attention in

Biology class that's [ __ ] awesome and

there's also another part of this video

that made me like really upset he has

gone back to basics and it eared him the

nickname of hum manzi this is a form of

exercise where you pretend to be a

monkey so you don't have to go to the

gym the fact that they've never coined

the term G panzee

is honestly heartbreaking so Leo if

you're watching this use it okay use

that term open up a bunch of monkey

themed gyms call them gim panes play the

MVP movies on repeat on the TVs have

bananas all over the place and you can

even have a tanning bed there so people

could get an

orangutan instead of showers you'd pick

the bugs off each other's back I don't

know but like I said earlier Leo [ __ ]

like walks around on his knuckles and he

does like little knuckle fist bumps and

stuff and he also encourages people to

make monkey noises while they're

climbing

trees and you know how weird this is I

do love how committed he is to the

lifestyle he's basically the embodiment

of the meme okay so basically I'm monkey

When anybody asks him how he's able to

do all this crazy stuff he just shows

him that Meme and honestly in the grand

scheme of Fitness influencers trying to

sell you a certain lifestyle this is

very tame especially Fitness influencers

who use the term

Primal Leo is the a superior Fitness

influencer in that category for sure and

also Leo is constantly posting about the

environment and raising money for

Charities that are helping with climate

change and the loss of the animal's

natural habitat he also posted probably

the hardest picture I've ever seen in my

life on his Facebook page so [ __ ]

prepare

[Music]

yourselves that is so fire are you

[ __ ] kidding Michelangelo who

creation of Adam more like creation of

Adam painting that's a piece of [ __ ]

compared to this although after seeing

where monkeys put their fingers I

wouldn't be rushing to touch tips with

this guy but Leo isn't the only person

doing this in my research I found

another article about a guy in China who

claims that walking like a monkey has

stopped him from getting ill for three

decades or maybe he just can't get

health care every time he walks into a

hospital they're like dude you're you

got to go to the vet you're a gorilla

dude what are you doing here holy [ __ ]

is this a secret to a long life just

walking on all fours all those [ __ ]

pay pigs they're going to live forever

I'll read a little bit of the article I

started doing this walk exercise when I

was about 20 years old the Chinese man

told pear video I often watched the

monkeys at the zoo I thought it looked

so fun and I started imitating he added

good for him I'm also pretty glad that

he picked the monkeys to imitate like

that's a little weird but any other

animal would have been that extra step

of crazy you know yeah I just loved

watching the snakes so the last 20 years

I've kind of just been slithering around

and every couple months I rip my skin so

this movement exists all over but Leo

Urban is the main real life

Tarzan or so I thought turns out there's

another person who is also called the

real life Tarzan and Leo's dedication to

the ape lifestyle is pretty tame

compared to this next guy and his name

is Victor Manuel F sorry if I'm

pronouncing that wrong Victor is the

creator of this thing called the Tarzan

movement Tarzan movement back there

which has over 900,000 followers on

Instagram and Victor's connection with

monkeys runs much deeper than just

climbing on trees and running around

like Leo does essentially both of these

guys have the same mission statement

which is reject modernity Embrace monkey

but the way I see it Leo is parkour

first because he still does Urban

parkour I guess all the parkour he does

is urban cuz that's his last name but he

still climbs around in like buildings

and stuff but Victor on the other hand

is all in on the monkey lifestyle like

if there was a monkey off between Leo

and Victor Victor would be the

Victor according to an independent arti

today Fus believes that many humans have

lost touch with the natural world he

also believes that Apes embody a

spiritual connection to Nature that

we've forgotten about in our culture of

go- go capitalism and office cubicle so

he created a new instructive movement

that has already convinced hundreds of

people to take to the jungle and pretend

to be Apes known as the Tarzan movement

it is a fitness regime and novel

approach to life taught internationally

through workshops and climbing classes

with FAS encouraging his followers to

mimic the movements of apes and monkey

so he's fully embraced the monkey

gorilla glue to him is just glue and if

you go to Victor's Instagram it's just

him posting about the upcoming Tarzan

movement Retreats that he has coming up

like this jungle immersion from August

19th to 25th full immersion with me and

a team of local guides in the jungle of

Sumatra everyday 4-Hour training and

trekkings daily trips to spot and learn

from orangutan and other animals holy

damn what are you learning from the

orangutan what is he teaching you guys

deep in the the woods of Sumatra there

is an orangutan who will teach us long

division okay we camp by the river every

day carnivore or veg meal on your

preference okay if you're going to do a

fully immersive monkey trip you guys

should only be eating bananas and bugs

price is $1,500 includes taxi from

airport full pension and wow that's

pretty good actually a lot of companies

aren't even offering those these days so

that's that's pretty good send a message

to join and then the foot emoji

okay now why that emoji why is that

emoji there what kind of message do you

want me to send yes so if you want to

come to the Jungle if it's if you're

interested just send a complete 360 scan

of your feet uh your size and um some

used socks where do you go to the

bathroom on these Retreats you know just

like in the forest I guess or wait no

never mind dude have you guys seen that

video of the monkey uh peeing in its own

mouth is that what you learned from the

aratan dude that'd be awesome so I

watched Victor's entire documentary that

he posted on his Channel about this um

philosophy and it basically boils down

to like tapping into the animal parts of

ourselves which I imagine can be pretty

therapeutic but it is super funny

picturing someone taking the Tarzan

movement like way too far though now may

you all please rise for the

[Music]

bride she promised me she wouldn't walk

like a monkey sir why is she walking

like a monkey she just got back from a

jungle Retreat should I keep going or

should I

stop oh my God she promised me she

wouldn't throw her poop like a monkey

I'm not going to do a recap of the whole

documentary cuz it's it's pretty long

and it's in another language also but

the rest of the documentary showcases

him teaching people the ways of the

Tarzan movement and everybody seems to

be having like a blast while they're

doing it and you know what the more I

think about this the more it makes sense

I walk by so many climbable trees when

I'm walking my dog and in my head I'm

just like God that'd be such a fun one

to climb I could just go up and just

chill but I'd get yelled at if I climbed

one of my neighbor trees so all the

power to these people if it's working

for them but there's one part of the

documentary that made me laugh pretty

hard though it shows him like training

one of his students in the art of Tarzan

movement and at the one part he's just

straight up throwing apples at the guy

I don't know what that's supposed to do

how did you even come up with that right

I imagine he's just like no I do this

all the time with the monkeys at the zoo

I go in there with a big basket of

apples and I just [ __ ] Chuck at I

throw apples at these monkeys for hours

dude no curveball no change up just

straight [ __ ] gas man and as much as

I'm goofing on it it seems to work like

both of these real life tar Tarzan

Tarzan they're both in awesome shape

like they're both jacked and I would

hate to get in a fight with someone who

is constantly pretending to be a monkey

you know they're ripping your face off

but the craziest thing about this whole

Tarzan movement it's not the walking on

your knuckles being Barefoot all the

time climbing trees making monkey sounds

all that aside the weirdest part of all

of this you'd assume that these two guys

would be like mortal enemies two guys

operating in the same Niche with like

different news outlets each calling them

the real life Tarzan these guys should

be like at each other's throats and [ __ ]

but they're not they're like best

friends it's like no bad blood

whatsoever they're just like yeah dude

we're we did it we're monkeys man and

yeah is it [ __ ] super cute to see two

guys climbing trees and having a good

time together absolutely is that also

maybe a sign that possibly connecting to

your animal side like fully removes your

ego and you can actually like enjoy life

for the first time in your life maybe

but I'm about to say it these two guys

being all buddy buddy that's not very

Monkey like like if you're a [ __ ] Top

Dog monkey you know and another monkey

tries to move in on your territory you

got to stay in your ground you got to

[ __ ] you got to mostly I want these

guys to beef with each other cuz I think

could be super funny like I would

absolutely love to see a real life

Tarzan diss track you

[Music]

know who the [ __ ] is claiming to be the

real

Tarzan I'm the real Tarzan [ __ ] my dad

is a

monkey I'm

Tarzan you're lil xan one time I killed

a leopard with a

spear it's the best day of my

life listen up I can throw my [ __ ] a

quarter mile you got no balls infertile

quit saying you're the real Tarzan or

you'll live to regret it like what Dar

man you're a bip [ __ ] rocket running

shoes I reckon stupid [ __ ] and I'm

swinging on vines Jane say you last

second now I got your girl and she all

on my tree she wants to get her belt

unbuckled I don't wear belts me the MVP

she do the Walk of Shame on her Knuckles

I'm the real thing you an imitation I'm

chilling with some Apes in a river Bas

we all yell at in no conversation cuz

they're monkeys they were masturba now I

may not be a monkey genetically Homo

sapiens technically true i' be climbing

trees inity you're monkeying around

pathetically [ __ ] call me key I'm

surrounded by pe legit raised by monkeys

is not a big deal like a b my ass is out

you smelling my finger you're passing

out see you suck my dick no homo erectus

deforestation someone protect us hun for

support like they try to eject us when

monkey smile is just so infectious sorry

about that got carried away just like

the lady in King Kong yeah I'm banging

on my chest all day peeing my mouth with

my dingdong what the [ __ ] dude no have

you seen that video the of the monkey

peeing in his own mouth I I actually

filmed that video I know that guy pretty

well he did it he was he doesn't always

do that he just had too much banana lure

but it's it's whatever I'm the real

Tarzan so

I'm now realizing that this is the

second time that I've written and

recorded a diss track from the

perspective of a Disney character you

either die a hero or live long enough to

see yourself become the villain I don't

know in conclusion I don't really see

anything wrong with this lifestyle it's

not hurting anybody I just thought it

was really funny to pretend to be a

monkey and I wanted to goof on it for a

little bit but who knows maybe

pretending to be a monkey is a secret

maybe that's the secret to happiness and

a long life and there's really only one

way to find out so how about you guys

leave a comment let me know if you want

to see me do a video where I uh try to

live like a freaking monkey and uh and

see how it affects my life and Leo or

Victor if you guys are watching this

video freaking pick up that banana foam

hit me up dude all right that's it thank

you so much for watching the video If

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that's it thank you so much for watching

I would stick around but unfortunately I

have to go I got to go pee in my own

mouth