animal stories

today I'm going to be telling our weird

animal stories and at the end I'm going

to tell you how my cats traumatized my

life oh yes I love eating cats me too I

don't think this is what the video is

about have you guys ever tasted a cat

I'm actually curious I want to try is it

like chicken actually people do say it's

like it's like chicken right when I was

younger I actually had a yeah I know

surprisingly that can't be real we're

telling true stories only right now tuxi

oh okay okay when I was older I guess in

the future I had a hamster named Goldie

Goldie wait hold on hold on was it

actually made out of gold surprisingly

not it just looked like gold is it pink

yes the nose W oh that's not what I

was one fateful morning I was excited to

wake up to a lovely day it was a little

bit chilly outside and I was excited to

see my hamster and I walk over to find

Goldie not moving do hamsters expire yes

apparently cuz I went over and I poked

it I touched it I picked it up pulled to

the touch no oh Goldie I poked it I

shaked it around I subscribe to the

channel I waved around the air like a

flag and still wouldn't move wait why

are you calling Goldie it well he didn't

move he just didn't move

sadly and that's what I sounded like

crying my eyes out after finding out

that Goldie died so what happened to him

what did you do with it or so I thought

he died but I put it into a tissue box

had a burial and everything outside dug

it a hole he's still alive you buried

him alive and didn't Che his P so we're

getting to that I've done that before as

a kid I thought it was cold to the touch

it wasn't moving he was stiff but I put

him in a box and dug him a hole and

everything and gave him a good burial

cried my eyes out after a few years

after the burial I saw a fact that

hamsters hibernate and when they

hibernate they get cold and stiff and in

that moment I realized that I buried my

hamster alive no Goldie you monster you

what you do to him did you kill him it

was two years it was like a few years

later I didn't realize this did you dig

him back up H up he might be hungry bro

that that dude dead as hell outside in

the yard man you killed him that is so

messed up I'm pretty strike poor little

Goldie man that's so sad anyways you

know what really grinds my gears when

you don't know what to wear when I don't

know yeah yeah I yeah that but I have an

answer to that problem it's new merch

new merch how wait how do you keep

guessing what I'm what anyways okay we

got new merch fresh off the shelves hat

search your sock stickers You Name It We

got it

[Music]

pants he knows too much take him out

wait wait wait get your merch at socks.

store all right Ally please tell me your

story is more positive okay it's super

positive okay so oh no oh no I already

don't trust her when I was really young

maybe like eight I was like super hungry

so 1942 yes so I begged my mom to make

me something to eat and she made me like

the best macaroni and cheese I ever saw

what's it sound like why did you ask

that what do you think it sounded like

anyways it was like a

mountain it was just like a mountain of

like cheesy melty goodness with cheese

sprinkled on top bro what why yo we're

talking about we're about animals not

the mac and cheese we're we're talking

about mac and cheese I'm not done yet I

was just sitting there looking at it

drooling but then all of a sudden I had

to pee really bad

there must be some good mac and cheese I

ran really fast to the bathroom and I

swear I was like only gone like 30

seconds and I ran back really excited to

eat my macaroni and cheese all right how

do how is this how does this go into an

animal mac and cheese an animal I don't

see a relation I ran back really excited

to eat my mac and cheese and right when

I turned the corner my cat was just

chomping no chomping on it and she

basically finished the whole plate like

it was gone tookish chances bro and

third 30 seconds that must have been

good yeah it was really good is your cat

Garfield wait can cats eat mac and

cheese you'll find out if they can or

not soon is that cat still with you

today no he died so you killed the guy

with mac and cheese wait wait what

happened after I ate the mac and cheese

well after it ate the whole plate I like

screamed and she jumped off the table

and ran away so I started crying and my

mom came in and looked at me like bro

exactly that is this the story she made

me like some dumbb sandwich really quick

and I ate it and I was like still really

sad after it I went to my room all I

could smell was my cat pooped all over

my bed like slimy diarrhea and I was

like hey at least I get back the mac and

cheese it's still good right it's just

extra brown sauce I ate it right off the

bed it was delicious what did you do to

your cat in order for you to deserve

this she ate the cat she ate the cat

that's why he's not here right now he

tasted like mac and cheese what the you

know what I think we're going to move on

to the next story okay dude muffin you

got another animal story I do what do

you got all right all right this is

about my cat me and my mom you know

we're driving somewhere I don't know

where I was going I was like seven okay

we're driving and we see a cat in the

ditch no it is a corpse that's so cool

now basically we stopped we looked at

the cat in the ditch and we're like this

is our cat it looked it is our cat you

know it resemble it's the same thing as

our cat oh no what was his name Shiloh

it's a girl it's a woman was it your cat

or did it just look like your cat did

you take it home let me explain let me

explain okay we we took it home all

right we put it in a drunk what wait why

did you take the dead cat into your car

we're not going to leave it in the ditch

okay and we we bury our cats all right

we got a little cat funeral all right so

basically we leave it on the sidewalk of

our house like the side of our house cuz

we're going to bury it what the I was

like seven so I had a little toy camera

took a picture of the cat why are you

laughing right now do you have the

picture you might be are you a sociopath

I was like seven I took a picture of it

like to remember the cat for some reason

I was like I took a picture this is the

plot twist all right I go in my house

and then our cat walks out the door wait

the same cat wait what it came back to

life what so you guys just took a random

cat yeah it was the wrong cat it would

look the same but it was uh not a cat

you're going to hold the whole funeral

and everything you were you brought this

whole dead cat this random cat back to

your house and it wasn't even your cat

you know what the crazy thing is my mom

put the cat back in the ditch she put

back she duck him back up put him back

oh my gosh didn't you just give him a

nice burial even though it's not your

cat yeah well someone can see it you

know yeah that was the story is your cat

still alive yeah I know it's still alive

oh that's so nice so you know what makes

more sense nway story yay story this

place when I was a little kid all right

you know there's like this Carnival

place that happens next to my house so I

decided hey I'm going to go there with

my dad you know we went there you know

this carnivals you know just games you

know I played a game and I won a prize

know what that prize was a goldfish you

want a goldfish right here you know I'm

so happy oh my God I'm going name you

Gerald you look so cute Gerald Gerald

the fish I get home at like like

midnight all right no it's time for my

bedtime I'm tired right I put my fish

down what what you put him down already

no no no no no you just got him all

right so I put him down on the table

okay he's still in the plastic bag so

I'm like okay I need to put you in a cup

cuz this spash bag is not holding how's

he going to breathe I put water in the

cup okay I'm not that cruel goldfish

don't breathe they breathe the water

what are you saying you know they

actually um only breathe whenever

they're in water because there's oxygen

in the water

there's okay anyways okay I get I put my

fish in the cup all right filled with

water oh all right I'll go see you later

fishy fishy I'm going to go brush my

teeth you know it's late at night you

know I'm a little kid I'm tired I want

water I just look around I see this

class cup

no you leave him alone you get away from

that cup go

gold the whole thing this is what going

to be such a positive and fun animation

this is worse than my story is it still

in your body to this day all I know is

that fishies are yummy all right you

actually swallow the fish I'm a little

kid blaza and then what why don't you

make a fresh cup of water officer he's

right there he's right there got him now

right there's like there's a fish in you

right now like could be swimming that's

crazy he's like growing up right now he

he probably has children by now in in

your how did he have children I don't

know if the fish is still inside of me

right now I don't know I have to do like

an x-ray but I feel like the X-ray would

like boil him alive did you not go to

your mom and like hey Mom I'm going to

eat the food oh well they figured it out

because they're like I didn't even know

they told me hey the fish go I see the

empty cup I'm like oh I'm so sad now I'm

so sad have you ever eaten a fish you

should try it like alive at least I

didn't chew it you got to stay alive and

swim in my stomach for a couple days

maybe honestly it's kind of like an

amusement ride for him if you think

about it oh I I was perfect I was like

yippe time for the next day how do you

not feel it going down your throat on a

on a serious note so my dog I have three

dogs right now and I I've all like

gotten them in my possession a bit odd

every single time so basically my first

dog I ever got we found him on the side

of the road near my near where my mom

works you stole him kind of we gave him

wo whoa whoa whoa wao we gave him uh

hash browns from chickfila him in

Chick-fil-A has hash browns you sound

like you're literally stealing him no he

was walking around the road near my

mom's work and there's literally no

houses near there and he was it was a

little F doggy he's a he's a white

chihuahua e waa okay so that's the first

that's the first dog we found the second

dog we found I think it's an American

Bully we have no idea because we found

him outside in our backyard with like

scrapes all over him a mted fur and he

was a really skinny boy and we took him

to the vet cuz we didn't know if he was

like chipped or not to like have inform

on where he lives and the doctor said he

wasn't getting into like dog fights or

anything he was trying to be a player

and mate with other lady dogs cuz that's

whenever they whenever they like try to

mate the ladies would be like uh-uh and

they would scratch him and they would

bite at him because he he wouldn't want

him to mount them basically I don't know

if that's a player I don't if that's

called something else I don't know if

that's a player okay that's correct he

mounts every girl what no yeah so he

tried to go for a lot of Lady dogs but

then he goes for lady dogs I go for lady

men wo what w w w I agree I agree got

him all of his pills all his medication

got him neutered and we took him in we

took away his manhood what is wrong with

you look we're going to get him a nice

cage we have to keep him in here because

we have three other dogs at the time and

so we didn't know how he would react

with these ones so we cut him in the

cage while we were away at work and at

school whatever and we come back and we

see this dog running around the house we

logged him in that cage pickpocketing

skills 100 we walk in the room and we

see the entire front part of the cage

was literally taken off the hinges and

thrown forward damn the strong ass dog

he's the Hulk he he I think he ripped it

right right off and so we were like well

we got to get him another cage because

we're not going to let him you know roam

the house while other dogs are there and

so we get him another cage now this one

had uh a bit more protection and we come

back and this dog broke through it again

this is the second time he's done this

okay we've spent $400 on cages whatever

we're going to get on a random dog yeah

you're better than me dog dude most

people don't even pay that much for a

child D this dog bro this dog was

getting the top of the line treatment

right I mean he was subscribed to the

channel he deserved it we get this we

get this dog two in rebar enforced steel

for his cage this cage was not getting

broken out of dude throw me in there and

see if I can break out we go like a week

and he's he stays inside right one day

we we're about to go to bed everything's

quiet he's leveled up we walk into our

living room and we see a bag of

marshmallows a bag of flour and a bag of

chocolates all broken en into by this

dog he was eating like there was no

other food left on the planet Earth I

think it was cuz of like Revenge cuz we

locked him in or whatever but wait so

you broke out no no no he didn't this

was this was before we went to bed this

was before we put him in the cage I

don't know if he got revenge for that I

think he got revenge cuz you tore off

his

balls we were like okay this dog just

ate so much stuff that's poisonous for

him we're we're just going to let him go

outside use the bathroom he eventually

throws up a lot of food well it's

getting late we got to take him inside

we take him inside we put him in the we

wake up there is it looks like someone

got murdered there is a shot of diarrhea

on the wall from where the where this

dog was not able to go to the bathroom

my dad wakes up it just smells

absolutely rancid and there is a stain

now on that wall from where the diarrhea

was sitting there how do you so hard you

put his stain dude I don't know how we

were all sitting it it was genuinely the

most disgusting thing I've ever seen did

it tastes like chocolate all right you

need a you need a you have an image of

the stain on the wall do we want to see

that why do you want to see that muffin

oh my god oh

dude why did you get that picture did

you just make that right now thank you

for that very too detailed story juicy

how is your animal story dude do animals

even live in the United Kingdom like I

feel like it would be too Ransom to live

what are you talking about dude yeah

what are you talking about their entire

population are animals we are the

animals I don't I don't actually have

animal story because I've never actually

really had a pet but never ever had a

brother or a sister that's a pet but I

will say one thing when we was in Texas

we were in an Uber and we were driving

past dude you got to see this cool ass

bird that I took a picture of picture of

bird he was munching on the Chip he was

on top of the post and I was like what

the hell is he got in his mouth and it's

a whole chip in his mouth thank you

thank you juicy thanks for sharing that

the blasa do do you have an animal story

I have a little animal story uh can you

see this that's AI generated wait wait

wait wait someone was looking at me this

is my okay this is not my room this is a

random room from the internet and

there's a little window there was ey

there there's a little window this I

have in real life I have like a little

window here on my left yes I see and it

opens and it closes something is looking

at us from their

Shadows this is my little my grandma I

was playing my little video games maybe

even making a couple Among Us videos

back in uh we live was good when life

was happy bring it back please I was

chilling I was playing a little among us

maybe I don't know and then my cat came

his name is drop drop and he climbed on

my keyboard and then my window is open

cuz it was a warm summer

day and over here there's like a roof Dr

you jump through the window and he

chilled on the roof uh there he

is he usually chills on the roof

sometimes it's not not a big deal but

this time we got a little too close he

started he started like moving he start

going that way he said over there don't

do it I'm like oh you'll be fine he's

just looking at the birds looking at the

birds or something until the Fire Nation

like a bird like flying like chip chip

chip chip chip and then he came a little

close to Dr

here and I'm like oh my God that bird

got really close a little too close I

look back on my monitor for one second

oh gaming Among Us I blink and I look

outside and then W

what what you doing no drop here drop

here drop here no you jumping after the

bird and he just this is a big building

okay this is like a a story tall this is

tilted towers and then there is like

grass but there's also like rocks so I

really HED you landed in the grass and I

was like no drop you so I crawl through

my window over here I I literally I jump

on my desk I crawl through the window I

am on there doing Among Us and and and I

was crawling on the roof

oh this is my time to kill him in the

game and then he was like I good

SP y he landed in the grass and he was

okay and then he stormed off to get the

birds and I got another perfect impostor

run yay all right I think we're going to

move on to the final story dude I'm

going to tell you guys about my three

cats my first cat was called Oliver okay

he he was a little bit weird because uh

he doesn't have a tail I chopped it off

is that his big fat butt or is that his

tail no that's his fur so Oliver lost

his his tail back in 1846 okay back back

in the day when cats didn't have the

power to vote I I I think he was like

self-conscious you know that he didn't

have like a tail or anything cuz like

honestly he was always like super grumpy

okay like he would always walk around

and he would never look like that happy

just because he didn't have a tail I

think he was just really angry because

he was you know so angry you know Oliver

was at best maybe a three Pat cat okay

like three Pats that's it okay no more

you Pat him once you know it's all good

twice sure but three times M don't

murder your whole family that's actually

how we lost our grandmother what even

happened to his tail he has no tail why

are you hiding this from some how did

you chop it off arrest arrest him no

he's a MX they they don't have tails

that's his breed so he would like stuff

his body like under Furniture so like no

one could reach him he was like

completely flattened under there stupid

cat all my cats are outdoor cats so it's

like one day he went outside he probably

hid himself somewhere so good that we

couldn't even find him you weren't able

to find him at all for how long for

years we he is God he's God we've never

seen him again he's gone but that's just

my first cat and honestly he was an old

grumpy man okay but the the next cat her

name is peepi peepi Fifi there say Fifi

a is your cat single I'm not going to

answer that question so the the thing is

my sister she was driving home from work

okay long shift you know her mind was

probably numb you know long day work 9

to5 but as she was driving home

supposedly she was hearing meowing At

first she thought it was like coming

from the radio like maybe it was like

part of the song or something cuz it was

like very soft like you're driving down

the road right you you barely hear it

when when the song stopped she heard the

meow like go again which is like how is

there a cat meowing there's no there's

no cats inside the car who is meowing

she stopped the car right she like she

looked inside she looked all around

nothing no cats but there was still

meowing right so she checked the the

hood you know just in case to see if

there was like a cat there and there was

a tiny black kitten like tucked between

the engine parts of the car he got

spring trapped or even to manage to

survive there like while my sister drove

is it there like really hot there yeah

exactly like how was the cat like okay

you know like from driving for such a

long period of time my sister had to

bring the cat home it was like a tiny

kitten the thing is we already had one

cat at the time Oliver and my parents

wouldn't let her keep it or at least

that's what she thought so my sister

ended up just keeping the cat in her

room for like 6 months without my

parents knowing secretly how how was it

pooping all over well no she had like

the litter box and everything in her

room how do she get like found out

living just in the room is probably like

not the best so it's like after 6 months

she's decided I got to tell you know our

parents you don't want to just live in a

one by one cubicle for like the rest of

your life right so it's like they let

her fre it's kind of what you do already

my parents would be upset but Fifi is

just adorable okay like literally too

cute how could you not resist this cat

okay oh my God Frei where's Fifi now I

I'll be honest I she's still here she's

still roaming around D dude let's go

she's not a real cat okay she she was

like genetically made in a lab somewhere

because she remains small her entire

life especially compared to our other

cats that we'll talk about but she's

like she's small we had one interest

thing so she she is an outdoor cat and

the thing is that she's so small like

you can barely see her like she's almost

smaller than most squirrels what she's

like going outside the the squirrels

never expect her the the amount of

squirrels that she's caught in is crazy

she's so like nimble and mobile she like

goes in the trees like she's actually in

the trees in the tree trunk oh my gosh a

squirrel is just eating mining its own

business she comes from above to attack

the squirrels it's crazy like an actual

Ninja way it it's really funny because

she's the complete opposite of my final

cat

Charlie I love

Charlie the final one the hunk Charlie

okay imagine melted ice cream like real

life Garfield that's him wait wait wait

wait wait what do you mean melted ice

cream there is Charlie oh my God he's

chunky okay he a chunker look at him oh

my God think about Charlie there's only

two things on his mind okay it's food

and sleep me too Charlie you know the

significant proos of Charlie is that

he's he's so big now that he can be used

as a mop we like sliding him around on

the floor to clean and he's completely

fine with it you know he he doesn't even

get mad he just accepts payment in like

food and then just falls asleep and it's

kind of hard for us to like not let him

eat cuz it's like we had two other cats

it's like you can't really control the

food because he just eats other cats

food I want to talk about the mop thing

cuz do you clean it is it like get all

clumpy on his fur like he cleans himself

isn't he like too chunky to be cleaning

himself what if there's a big poop stand

on the ground like a poop big poop you

mop it up who does that you tell you

telling me this thing looks upset look

at him Charlie okay it looks like he's

trying to say help me he's like going on

the window help the thing is he he's an

outdoor cat so the the whole

neighborhood is aware of him because he

just goes from house to house and he

just sits at anyone's driveway cuz he

has like this big chain on him like you

can see on this thing and it says like

security a Golden Chain yeah he's got a

gold chain that says security I'm like

Fifi who's like hunting squirrels he

does not hunt he like just sits we had

squirrels like literally come up to him

he doesn't even move okay he literally

all he does squirrels have literally

walked up to him and he's just sat there

and the squirrel like don't even see him

as danger that's Charlie he he has no

interesting stories about him so crazy I

just I just wanted to tell him about

Charlie he's so amazing I like Char if

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