Cole Sprouse Joins Brittany Broski's Royal Court

what is your stance on running in the

lobby

um welcome to Royal Court the show where

pop culture royalty compete for a spot

on my trusted Council I am your host and

queen lady Britney of house brosi and

today I'm joined by a very special guest

please welcome Lord Cole of house

sprout thank you how was the journey in

Lord cold a bit rainy a bit rainy but

lovely wish it was more humid outside I

know I wanted to glow and glisten when I

arrive to the court today you do thank

you yeah there's like a Sheen about you

that's kind of sickly almost yeah yeah

that's what I'm going for it's that

whole emo lineage I grew up with I want

people to be like this guy needs sleep

yeah he needs help yeah help yeah it's

an existential crisis it is always thank

you for having me oh this is gorgeous

and we have a matching fit as well

looking gorgeous are you ready for the

trial set before you today I'm so ready

without further Ado let the trials

begin

damn whoa oh yeah it never gets better

never gets easier good I feel so exposed

that's kind of the point Cole yeah Dylan

is 15 minutes older yeah it's a long

time to be in there long time for Mommy

too what the hell are you doing in there

just growing

stronger just every day just growing

just developing just that extra little

touch that really that matters you know

was it this yeah it's it's this no this

took like 31 years to develop looking

great it's coming I know I'm trying this

Abe Lincoln thing out obsess with it

what is your social security

number I almost gave you the first

number and then I thought I'm sure

someone could probably oh yeah that's

all you need yeah that's that's yeah you

created your own major at NYU Gallatin

school of individualized study explain

your major and its societal impacts in

10 seconds or less uh geographical

Information Systems we take satellite

imaging uh to plot on a 3D landscape I

applied it to archaeology and so we took

pre-existing sites and we pulled all the

variabl got got it got it how many digs

did you do uh about five did you find

any haunted totems um I did find a mask

really that was kind

mask an ancient Co mask yeah no I found

a mask that was pretty cool from where

it was a an old uh helenistic theatrical

mask of dionis did you get to keep it

nope what is your stance on running in

the

lobby um I'm for it personally yeah yeah

like in a swimsuit yeah I mean rip like

that that Calvin Klein ad with Jeremy

Allen White that's all over Sunset yeah

yeah yeah except like on like a like a

luggage

cart okay do you have a favorite form

form of torture or disease I think like

quartered is pretty cool I agree because

then you get to just that's kind of the

best way to go out if you're a horse

girl if you think about it it kind of is

cuz you get like to truly be strapped to

four horses right which is kind of the

dream if you're a a horse girl it kind

of is and also Imagine like the ASMR of

it like I bet that' feel good at first

and then it's yeah cuz at first it's

actually a bit of chiropractor stuff

just like you crack all your ver you

release all that tension and then you're

ripped into to four exactly do you have

a favorite disease uh disease um yeah I

think

tuberculosis at Old TB yeah it's not as

common anymore which kind of means it's

niche Indie yeah it's kind of an indie

thing now okay you recently starred in

Diablo Cody's latest film I did Lisa

Frankenstein as the movie's Undead love

interest yeah now if you could take any

body part from one of your co-stars and

sort of fry it onto your body as coal

who are you picking and why uh probably

anyone with a bigger

penis would probably sorry my pu is is

sitting right over there Hi I mean maybe

Dwayne The Rock Johnson's arms I've

never worked with him but yeah no we're

just kind of spitball in here I'm

manifesting but I feel like with his

arms on my

frame whatever it's you know that

episode of SpongeBob where he has yeah

the inflatable that's exactly what I

seeing I'm seeing you got it you can't

pick up that glass of water though that

was

funny have you ever wished Dylan had

eaten you in the womb or vice versa yeah

sometimes in my lower moments when I'm

having like a real existential crisis I

go how much more powerful would Dylan be

if he absorbed my spirit I think he'd be

evil yeah probably sometimes his

mustache Twirls a little bit and I think

that's like the world's sign that he's

the evil twin for sure you know and the

eye patch and the yeah the eye patch

does help at all now again eating him

what condiment would you dip him in have

you ever thought about that uh Dylan is

a big fan of this thing he calls

Cranch not beating the Caucasian

allegations no no no no no not at all

it's just ketchup and ranch and I said

isn't that retch

up and then he was talking so much about

it on social media that they just

started Hidden Valley started sending

him Ranch you're kidding so if guys want

to make money just plug it on social

media and they'll send you as much Ranch

as you need which by the way not a

lot turns out turns out you don't need a

lot of ranch hey I won't speak for

everyone yeah he's he's got a lot in his

fridge can you give us a brief overview

of juge head's politics what kind of

chat rooms he would be in oh I feel like

he's a deviant art guy big rule 34 guy

yeah big rule 34 guy it's like Jug Head

the Hedgehog you know like that weird

Sonic yes yeah you knew actually what

are you concerned yeah a little bit

concerned you actually knew what D art

was to begin I used to I'm not going to

lie I used to search my name up on

Deviant Art pull all all the most foul

images of course there's a

lot sorry no I feel like that that's the

badge of honor it kind of is you've made

it I've made it if if you know I'm on

Devi and art

what's the worst like drawing you've

seen of yourself I get submitted a lot

of uh me like naked and ripped which is

cool cuz I'm not so I feel like the way

the artist imagined me was like strong

and powerful it's just the vibe you

eminate and with a huge

hog which just meat Packer just

real hog man who did Jug Head vote for

in the 2020

okay oh man uh next question okay next

question is is Joe get

vaccinated we can move on no that's

great uh yeah do you find pleasure in

shaming others specifically your fans um

do I take pleasure in shaming fans no I

do like to poke fun at at the absurdity

sometimes I do as well I think that's

part of the joy camera duels that's fun

I used to have speaking of Deviant Art I

used to have um an account that was

hacked and the person deleted it that

sucked but it was just all the best fan

art of me that's that's like a really

beautiful way to use your platform thank

you thank you okay final question and

not a trick question it's kind of might

come up later what are your thoughts on

the Gulf War oh right um uh my thoughts

on the Gulf War um why don't we come

back to that later I actually yeah we'll

actually that's probably a good one to

put a yeah kind of crazy though right I

mean wild Lord Cole you passed thank

you Lord Cole You've pleased me with

your answers but I require more now we

will have a Royal Banquet

okay thank you oh oh shellfish

M yummy wondered what that smell was M

my lord your microplastics for the day M

yes now we cannot eat without a libation

of course

Squires

oh and

animals you know me so well I knew you

were visiting I

prepared my bowels need regulating would

you imagine these keep unrefrigerated

for 10 years isn't that nuts it is crazy

I'm not going to lie after Dylan and I

did all the Danimals commercials I

looked up the ingredients uh it's the

same as Activia really which is sold as

like a poop regulatory thing yeah so

mainly this is just to regulate

children's poops and maybe grown men mhm

I could crush these we looked for the

crush cups they don't sell them anymore

know they don't [ __ ] sell them yeah

it's a shame damn yeah we didn't do our

job well enough to keep those on the

shelves you know what ah right

oh I do like the sort of white milkiness

to it that I didn't expect how many of

these did you did you really eat a [ __ ]

Visage all right cheers for real oh

cheers did you ever Miss Tumblr no

really I do I I feel like they kind of

shot themselves in the foot when they

were like no sexual content I agree I

was like cuz that's what all of us

angsty kids were were doing on there

yeah we're doing we were doing porn

right yeah yeah I I feel like the life

cycle of social media apps just kind of

it's like it starts kind of cool in nich

and then it gets like really popular and

then they do something that changes what

it is and then you're like I'm done yeah

yeah I will say I've returned to tumbler

I was PE I bet you would cool now uh

yeah well you would think there's no

hole Yeah there's no there's no more

holes there's no meat or holes no I know

which is such a shame it is I was a big

fan of you on Tumblr followed that

account for a long long time that was

like that was my uh cringey stream of

Consciousness Tumbl I loved it thank you

appreciate hey direct audience right

here target audience perfect your

brother founded a metery he did yeah

this is very unbrand first of all I hope

every patron of the meter gets a free

Fedora sort of tip at the

door M lady and secondly what sort of

folksy artisanal Lifestyle brand would

you bring to my Town Square yeah

pickles Pi picklery just just picklery

when I hit 30 I I started pickling

that's not a joke that's not a joke you

like fried uh not fried um pickled okra

uh I love pickled anything I love

pickled okra actually speaking of to a

Caucasian audience here my favorite

thing to pickle is uh I hard boil eggs

oh dude and then I I pickle them with

beets do you have it in a sort of

subterranean like basement that you like

no I actually really like the

colors so I leave them on the

shelves what is one artistic discipline

one you wish you were adept at I I think

I wish I was good at painting I'm really

bad

like you know like drawing painting also

Dylan's really good at painting and

twins do this thing when they're kids

where it's like that's my thing so I

wasn't allowed to paint oh do you have

any you write I'm assuming I used to I

don't know if I have the attention span

for it Tik Tok yeah we we've gotten

we've gotten worse overtime all of us

all right Cole I feel like we've been

sitting here long enough you know my

spirit you know my heart um yeah all

right want to run something by you let's

say hypothetically speaking okay let's

say hypothetically pitch dick okay there

is a script floating out there that is

um based around the Gulf War okay let's

say this was written with I don't know

someone like a Cole sprous in mind and

let's say I'm the leading lady okay uh

just for shits and gigs uhhuh now you

leave for war okay you come back change

cuz who wouldn't naturally um so let's

say actually that this is a real and I'm

being very Earnest when I say this a

fanfiction I wrote about you when I was

19 are you [ __ ] serious wish I was

joking I'm actually 19 by the way way

too [ __ ] old we have taken the

liberty of high

life so

notable I actually did hey by the way

why did you highlight these specific

portions because they're the most

important they're really establishing I

think of like an establishing shot so I

actually do want to go ahead and also

give the qualifier

[Laughter]

that you can read it at a separate time

you don't have to

read it's kind of well written right

honestly you have a really strong voice

forehead thank you so much I do

appreciate that okay I actually do need

to tell you this was when you had the

Tumblr right there were those edits of

you that went around stay with me here

walk with me of you as Milo from atlan

oh yeah yeah I had that costume I was I

think the horniest I've ever been in my

life at the age of 19 for that

specifically and you just immediately

brought that into this pinned of

paper artistic

inspiration reacting really really not

making me feel

great whoa this is great man I'm [ __ ]

horny you it's very

well can we turn the AC down a little

bit just a little more it gets better by

the way we can actually print that the

whole thing you can keep it if you could

sign it for me too that would be

incredible I can definitely do that we

we'll get back for you and I really

brought you here to first of all show

you the art second of all apologize I am

sorry yeah thank you it's don't ever

apologize for that well you

[Applause]

passed Cole I require every member of my

Council to create a family crest seeing

as you don't have one I will have you

make it so I can own it cuz it's the IP

of this show right right yeah yeah do I

draw yeah you draw yeah and then I'm

going to guess what ask more questions

where do you find the balance between

irony in your life and earnestness

somewhere in between narcissism and

severe self-loathing very very

biblically accurate yeah yeah is there a

sort of mutual self-creation that you've

experienced through a lot of your

adolescence with all the different

characters you've played with both Cole

and the character where you're finding

key elements of the character and also

within yourself and how do you separate

them of myself against the characters I

don't really have dis like good disposal

rituals I feel like I take a lot of you

don't know how to throw them away I

don't I don't um but I I feel like the

writing helps if the writing's good you

kind of it does a lot of the heavy

lifting for you and you know if it's not

then you got to make up a lot of it yeah

or at least bring a lot of it in I don't

know I I think it depends on also how

collaborative you're allowed to be in

the creative process I I feel like when

you're acting you can be leted in a to

the collaboration which is really

empowering or you know sometimes you're

doing that money gig and sometimes it's

not as collaborative can we get the DS

cup back yeah yeah well that's I mean I

I did Danimals for the art because I

think it was such a collaborative and

healthy process we were talking earlier

about how the crush cup y'all were just

like killing the directors on the set

what if I just what if I just murder

this guy if you could have chosen a

different career to have as a child what

would you chose oh man that's a good

question uh I probably would have ended

up in photography or maybe um dance oh

self-expression of any cringe just Just

Dance have you ever wanted to write a

movie for yourself or do you prefer the

collaborative process of bringing

someone else's Vision to life I think so

I think when I get like angsty I think

like oh I could just I could just make

this myself but I'm really not a writer

I don't have the attention span I think

I would need someone to help me out

Dylan's quite good actually I feel like

he got all the attention span are you

medicated I

was the old me I killed him that's the

old me dude I actually want you to walk

me through because I know you've talked

about this at length but I need to hear

it from the horse's mouth what the [ __ ]

were you doing on Tumblr what the [ __ ]

was I doing there um I actually funny

enough I started it in a photography

class because I needed to have like a

Blog to show the work like the the

portfolio yeah the professor was like

Hey like you need to update this it was

actually kind of a cool thing to

recommend to someone like hey you need

to be able to put your stuff out

publicly and receive criticism or

attention or whatever it is from it so

that's what I was doing on there and

then I just kind of got swept up mhm in

the attention cuz was it I mean it was

like fans of you from a while ago who

were like oh he's hot now yeah I guess

um but I I think I just kind of liked

that it was a stream of Consciousness

thing when it started I didn't really

realize how many people were looking at

it and then like it got so much

attention that I was like okay I got a

really twisted relationship to social

media like I I'll do it until it doesn't

suit me and then when it doesn't suit me

I'll just Burn It To The Ground love it

and that's what I did hey as we grow we

die

right well said Thank you guys seriously

what obstacle in your career are you

proudest of overcoming I was really I

was told not to go to college really by

a lot of people I I think the idea

especially in entertainment there's this

kind of myth that you must strike when

the iron is hot all the time if the

career is rolling you got to just keep

going keep going keep going I was told

by a lot of peers and and co-workers at

the time that going to college would

kill all of that momentum and in a way

it did but I don't think that myth

matters as much as we tried to make it

seem why do you think that's even a a

thing like what I mean it doesn't really

behoove you as an actor to have a

bachelor's I think because because

people forget easy and that's okay

actors as a as a group of people are

generally pretty narcissistic people and

they kind of have to be like you kind of

have to be in order to be in a job

that's getting that much attention so

the idea that you would kind of go uh I

don't really like that I'm just going to

take a break and fade away for a bit is

threatening to a lot of people and like

the kind of established idea of the job

but um I still went and I had a great

time it was so much fun did you have a

seemingly normal sort of were you able

to exist a bit anonymously cuz I also

feel like is there um a sort of

understanding amongst the student body

there was after about two weeks I mean

my brother and I were very very involved

in campus life so we dormed it we did

all like the little house competitions

and things like that and I I was so

active at NYU that after two weeks of

every incoming class that just got so

used to seeing us cool and got I was a

really annoying student though was

really I was very vocal isn't that

surprising to everyone is there a

question about yourself or your career

that you've been dying to be asked

no I prefer not to be asked questions

about my career Mark that down um uh the

question I do get a lot though is would

danan and I ever return uh to acting as

twins to which I always respond

no actually we're not opposed to it it's

just most twin roles are like say the

same line at the same

time like finish the line for him what

if you guys think the same

thing um so it just kind of gets a

little cheesy well that's all the

questions I have so you need to [ __ ]

hurry [ __ ] do you have any questions

for yeah what's your favorite mythical

animal it's a good one you know there's

a difference between hold on I always go

into this there's a difference between a

dragon and a wyvern yes it depends on

the legs in the placement of

the what are you doing later what do you

think this is Amateur hour you think I

had a bull cut for 15 [ __ ] years and

don't know the difference between a

dragon and a

wyvern you're kidding me dude you don't

just adopt celibacy don't without

knowing the difference between a wyvern

and a dragon all all right Cole present

us your shield into your camera right uh

favorite role um I guess I did Sweet

Life oh that's real sweet isn't that

cute um a favorite thing I just put

frogs I didn't know what else to put but

I like frogs they feel so so helpless

like you got to protect them and then uh

symbol from where you're from I grew up

in a place called Woodland Hills there's

no Woods or no Hills but um if there

were that's what it would look like

that's what it would look like and then

uh that is a griffin

I think that's actually a kiwi oh Cole

your Shield is beautiful wow what a

great job would you mind signing it for

me absolutely well my dear and Noble

guest it is my honor and privilege to

induct you into my Royal

Court we'll celebrate with a nighting i

night the hold on you want to break any

more on my set by the way I KN the Lord

Cole veteran of the Gulf War Posh sprous

ah thank

you wow

[Applause]

beautiful and a parting gift for you oh

no oh that's cool right I love that

usable no microplastic this can fit

about seven eight

animals small or large beetles

ah small or large beetles too small too

large beetles well Co anything you'd

like to plug or announce

nope hey thanks for having me this has

been a dream and a pleasure and a

privilege put her there thank you

appreciate you

Squire take my young gentleman away

goodbye well Broski Nation that'll do it

for me make sure to toll that [ __ ]

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next time this has been royal CT

[Music]