Jon Stewart Deconstructs Trump’s "Victimless" $450 Million Fraud | The Daily Show

Welcome to The Daily Show.

My name is Jon Stewart.

We've got an unbelievable program

prepared for you tonight.

Gary Clark Jr. is going to be here later

to do a little bit of music.

We're going to get the smoke machine going.

But before we get to that, let's bring a little meaning

into all our lives.

Let's let's get to--

I don't know what I'm talking about.

Let's get to the big news today.

Breathless anticipation at Trump Tower

over an important and perhaps earthshaking development

in the world of former President Donald J. Trump.

REPORTER: Celebrations are underway for former President

Trump after claiming he won two golf trophies

at his West Palm Beach club.

That's right, woke libs.

You think Donald Trump is a loser?

Well, would a loser brag about winning a golf

tournament at his own course?

I don't think so.

Although, obviously, Trump has an advantage playing golf.

It's difficult for his opponents

to stay focused when they spend all

that time staring at that ass.

Come on.

[CHEERING]

A lot of times, golfers let you grab them by the asshole.

They love it if you're a celebrity.

That's the worst Trump impression

in the history of impressions.

Actually, Trump is one of the few talented golfers

who has a thick ass and a front butt.

He has a front butt.

So what it does is the butt and the front butt

become like a big--

like a ball, like a big ball, the back and the front.

It helps with the center of gravity.

It's like being on a hippity hop.

[LAUGHTER]

But I'm kidding, of course.

Congratulations to Donald Trump on winning the Trump Cup.

I'm actually talking about today's

big Trump legal development.

REPORTER: The clock is ticking for former President

Donald Trump.

He'll need to post a nearly half $1 billion bond in order

to satisfy his New York civil fraud case judgment.

Otherwise, the state could begin seizing

properties to pay for it.

Damn.

That's right.

All week, we sat with breathless anticipation

to see if Trump had $454 million in his wallet

or would Trump Tower be turned over to New York City

to perhaps ease our terrible housing crunch or more likely

do what they always do, another shitty Walgreens?

I think another shitty Walgreens

whose shelves are bare from the rogue bands of shoplifters.

Thanks a lot, David Dinkins.

Is he?

I don't know.

Very small percentage of the audience

who will understand what I just said.

But the ones that do, [MWAH].

As you can imagine, the prospect

of Trump being held accountable for what

would be the first time had the media enthralled.

Donald Trump is running out of time to find $464 million.

The former president's legal problems may finally

be catching up with him.

Could this be the beginning of the end

for Trump's business empire?

And it does seem as though we are getting closer.

Trump feeling the walls closing in on him.

Panic mode, I'm told, is setting in.

I think we're going to be writing

a version of an obituary of the Trump Organization.

RIP, the Trump Organization.

Died as it lived, fraudulently.

Look, folks, it is very difficult

to come back from an obituary.

It looks like it's the end of the line

for Donald J Trump, Esquire.

No way he comes up with half $1 billion by the end of the day.

I've been saving this since 2016.

And it's finally here.

And it's finally here.

[POP]

Judgment day!

Moments ago, the former president

got a financial lifeline from a New York appeals court.

[BOOING]

[LAUGHTER]

This isn't going to be good.

It reduced the bond he must pay in a civil fraud

case for more than $450 million to $175 million

and gave him more time to pay for it.

Well, that's still something.

That's 10 days to come up with $175 million.

I mean, unless he's about to come into a shit ton of money,

I don't see how he does that.

The recent merger of Truth Social

could net the former president some $3 billion.

Mother-[BLEEP]!

[VROOM]

Oh, mm, oh, oh, mm, that is new year's eve, oh.

Stupid. You know what?

Let's take a step back.

What did Trump actually do to earn this penalty?

Well, it turns out that for a decade, whenever Trump wanted

to get a loan or make a deal, he would illegally inflate

the value of his real estate, for instance, suggesting

that his 11,000 square foot penthouse was a 30,000 square

foot penthouse, I guess somehow including

the sky in the calculation.

We all do it.

I mean, in my license, I'm not listed as 5' 7", you know?

I'm listed as 30,000 square feet.

[CHEERING]

Thank you.

And the attorney general of New York

knew that Trump's property values were inflated

because when it came time to pay taxes, Trump undervalued

the very same properties.

It was all part of a very sophisticated real estate

practice known as lying.

So the judge calculated that the value

that he gained from the lying with interest

was around $454 million.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, well, that sounds

pretty straightforward.

Whatever gains you got from lying, you have to pay back.

Well, that's because you're a [BLEEP] idiot.

No, if you knew anything about business, if you had an MBA,

you'd know [BLEEP] idiot.

We're talking about a victimless crime.

They find an ordinance or a law that has never been used

ever before on anyone else.

He's committed bank fraud where there's no victim.

It makes no sense.

No victims.

There was no victim.

The ruling is blatantly unfair.

That didn't go over very well with the investment community

because we're all asking each other, who's next?

Who's next?

The persecuted minority of the investment community.

First they came for the arbitragers

and I said nothing for I was not an arbitrager.

And then they came for the quants, which I could be.

I don't know what a quant is.

But I am surprised to hear this from Kevin O'Leary,

a guy who's such an asshole--

wait-- that even the other people on Shark Tank

thinks he's an asshole.

Now, he's very chill.

I'm surprised to hear that he's so chill

about overvaluing something that he thinks is victimless.

Because when someone tries to do that to him--

Which one of you do I absolutely tear to pieces now

on a $28 million valuation?

You think this is worth $10 million?

Absolutely.

Now I'm going to rip you out pieces.

Are you out of your mind?

Your valuation is insane.

Your valuation is crazy.

I think that's a crazy valuation.

I think your valuation is stinky poo poo.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, no, you didn't.

Canadians are so vulgar.

How is he not this mad about overvaluations

in the real world?

Because they are not victimless crimes.

First, the banks got paid back at lower interest rates.

Although, to be honest, who gives a shit?

But second, money isn't infinite.

A loan that goes to the liar doesn't

go to someone who's giving a more honest evaluation.

So the system becomes incentivized for corruption.

And this is part of a different Trump fraud case.

But avoiding taxes hurts all of us.

Donald Trump's shenanigans cost the city of New York,

and to be honest and let's be frank here,

that is money that the city of New York

could have used to build more Walgreens.

Now, some blocks only have two of them.

Leave it to Kevin O'Leary to be unaware enough to say

the quiet part out loud.

I hear about the so-called victimless crimes,

but the laws on the books--

falsification of business records in the second degree,

issuing false financial statements, insurance fraud,

conspiracy, and all these different aspects of it,

those are actual crimes.

I take it your point is that these should

not have been prosecuted?

Everything you just listed off

is done by every real estate developer

everywhere on Earth in every city.

This has never, ever been prosecuted.

[BOO]

There is a theory in law that if enough people

commit a crime, it automatically becomes legal.

You're familiar with The Purge, are you not?

The [BLEEP] entitled arrogance.

I don't know if you know this, but most people just

can't commit fraud and expect to face no repercussions

even if everyone's doing it.

Try getting a car loan by saying

you have 10 times as much money as you really do.

Or claim 20 dependents when you have no children.

Or say you make slightly less money to qualify

for food assistance.

I will guarantee you, there are not

just financial consequences for those lies, but criminal ones.

But don't tell that to the investment community.

Because in their minds, in pursuit of profit, there is

no rule that cannot be bent.

There is no principle that cannot be

undercut as long as you and your [BLEEP]

friends are making money.

And the only immoral practice--

[CHEERING]

--hold on, I'm not done.

Wait, if I could raise my chair up, I would.

Apparently, the only immoral practice

in the capitalist system is to use that money

for people who may need it.

Fraud, waste, and abuse people never

want to be honest about, but a lot of these parents will,

you know, they abuse the system.

A lot of them are encouraged to abuse the system.

Where do you think the money that you get for food

stamps and other things--

who do you think pays that money, your health care?

You're taking their money and you just don't seem to care.

The guy who walks out of the store with a bag of food,

is he entitled to it because food is a necessity

and he doesn't have enough of it?

You nutrition-needing mother-mother-[BLEEP],, bringing

our system to its knees.

Stealing is only justified when you already have too much.

Ultimately, whether or not Trump

is a victim of selective prosecution

is going to be a matter for the Supreme Court to decide.

Luckily, that is an institution which still

holds the trust of the American people

because of its integrity.

REPORTER: For years, justice Clarence Thomas has secretly

accepted luxury gifts from a GOP megadonor

Harlan Crow, gifts like private jet

flights, luxury yacht cruises.

And according to the report, the Supreme Court

justice never reported them on annual financial disclosures.

Victimless, it's a victimless crime.