Transformers: The Last Knight - Cosmonaut Picture Show
Summary
TLDRThe transcript appears to be a commentary on a Transformers movie, highlighting various plot points and character developments. The speaker discusses the struggles of their personal life, which oddly parallels the movie's events, including battles, character transformations, and the introduction of fantastical elements like wizards and dragons. The commentary is filled with humor, disbelief, and a critical analysis of the film's logic, historical accuracy, and character motivations. Despite the challenges and absurdity of the movie's plot, there's an underlying appreciation for the Transformers universe and its continuation in film.
Takeaways
- đ The individual's life has taken a negative turn since engaging with movies, leading to car sickness and walking to locations.
- đ„ Fired for violently shaking products and questioning their disguise, causing further personal and professional complications.
- đ Living with parents after a breakup and struggling to adjust, including dealing with a race car bed.
- đŹ Transformers movies are characterized by consistent themes such as racism, the destruction of Chicago, and historical inaccuracies.
- đ The speaker believes that the addition of fantastical elements like dragons and wizards might improve the Transformers movies.
- đ„ł Stanley Tucci's character is considered key to the Transformers universe, despite being a recurring figure in a humorous and intoxicated role.
- đ„ The speaker expresses a desire for more context and coherence in the plot, feeling overwhelmed by the constant, unexplained events.
- đ„ Criticisms of the film include poor special effects, green screen usage, and aspect ratio inconsistencies.
- đ€ The absence of the military in the movie is noted, questioning the realism and previous character involvement.
- đ The plot involves saving the world from destruction, with various characters playing pivotal roles in this mission.
- đ The script ends with the merging of two worlds, hinting at ongoing conflict and potential for future storylines despite the conclusion of this particular journey.
Q & A
What personal struggles is the speaker experiencing at the beginning of the transcript?
-The speaker is experiencing a series of unfortunate events including getting car sick, losing their job for violent behavior towards products, and facing marital issues leading to separation from their partner, Jackie.
What recurring theme is mentioned about the Transformers movies?
-The recurring theme mentioned is that racism is always present in the Transformers world, the city of Chicago is decimated in every film, and historical facts are altered, such as Transformers being involved in moon landings and the extinction of dinosaurs.
What is the speaker's opinion about the inclusion of a wizard in the Transformers movies?
-The speaker believes that the Transformers movies would be better with the inclusion of a wizard, as they have always thought and are excited about the possibility of such a character being introduced.
What character is considered by the speaker to be the most important in the Transformers universe?
-Stanley Tucci's character is considered by the speaker to be the most important person in the Transformers universe, as they jokingly but seriously assert that he holds the key to the entire franchise.
What is the speaker's reaction to the lack of military presence in the movie?
-The speaker is surprised and questions the absence of the military, as it is a significant departure from previous movies where military involvement was a key element.
What does the speaker find amusing about the character of Anthony Hopkins in the movie?
-The speaker finds it amusing that Anthony Hopkins' character appears to be caught in the crossfire and dies in a comical and unceremonious manner, which they find to be a funny and unexpected twist.
What is the speaker's critique about the plot and character development in the Transformers movies?
-The speaker criticizes the plot and character development for being nonsensical and chaotic, with a lack of context and a tendency to introduce numerous unexplained elements, such as dragons and wizards.
What does the speaker imply about the Transformers' impact on Earth?
-The speaker implies that the Transformers have had a net negative impact on Earth, causing destruction and death, and questions the trustworthiness of allowing them to remain on the planet.
What is the significance of the 'last knight' title in the movie?
-The 'last knight' title refers to Cade Jager, who is prophesied to be the last hope for both humans and Transformers. However, the speaker questions this as Jager does not exhibit the qualities of a traditional knight such as purity, valor, or honor.
What is the speaker's final verdict on the Transformers movie?
-The speaker finds the movie to be exhausting and nonsensical, yet acknowledges that despite the end of Michael Bay's involvement, the Transformers franchise will continue, indicating more movies to come.
Outlines
đ Struggles and Unexpected Twists
The speaker opens up about their personal struggles since getting involved with the movies, including a bizarre car sickness that doesn't allow them to even look at a car. They recount being fired for violently interrogating products and the subsequent fallout at home, leading to a separation and a move back in with their parents. The speaker also humorously mentions the challenges of adjusting to a race car bed and shares their thoughts on the Transformers movies, highlighting the recurring themes of racism, the destruction of Chicago, and historical inaccuracies.
đŹ Movie Analysis and Character Commentary
The speaker dives into a detailed analysis of the Transformers movies, discussing the importance of certain characters like Stanley Tucci's and the introduction of fantastical elements such as dragons and wizards. They express excitement over the potential inclusion of King Arthur and the presence of a drunk, wise character. The speaker also critiques the lack of military presence and the unrealistic portrayal of certain scenes, questioning the logic behind specific character actions and the overall coherence of the plot.
đ€ Transformers, Past and Present
The speaker reflects on the history and evolution of the Transformers series, noting the return of familiar characters and the introduction of new ones. They express surprise at the survival of certain characters and the resurrection of Megatron. The speaker also discusses the strange phenomenon of the main human character always being portrayed as a loser, despite the series' attempts to show character growth. They critique the lack of military involvement and the unrealistic depiction of the Transformers' impact on the world.
đ Global Conflict and Desperate Measures
The speaker discusses the global impact of the Transformers, questioning the logic behind their actions and the human response to them. They express a shift in their stance, suggesting a growing anti-Transformer sentiment due to the destruction they cause. The speaker also comments on the military's naivety in trusting Megatron and the absurdity of the situations presented, such as the moon crashing into Earth and the underwater fires in a hidden part of the world.
đĄïž The Last Knight's Legacy
The speaker explores the concept of 'The Last Knight' as introduced in the movie, dissecting the character of Cade Yeager and his supposed destiny. They question the portrayal of characters, the plot's inconsistencies, and the seemingly arbitrary changes in aspect ratio during the film. The speaker also highlights the humor and absurdity in the film, such as the characters' reactions to certain situations and the nonsensical elements of the plot.
đ Final Battle and Uncharted Territories
The speaker wraps up their commentary on the movie by discussing the climactic battle and the surprising conclusion that links the worlds of Cybertron and Earth. They reflect on the implications of this union and the potential for future conflict. The speaker also comments on the emotional weight of certain scenes, the evolution of character relationships, and the overall exhaustion brought on by the convoluted plot and relentless action.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄTransformers
đĄDisguise
đĄDestruction
đĄHistory
đĄCybertron
đĄStanley Tucci
đĄOptimus Prime
đĄMichael Bay
đĄPlot
đĄHumor
Highlights
The individual's life has taken a downturn since engaging with the movies, experiencing car sickness and having to walk.
An unusual firing incident involving violently shaking products and accusing them of being in disguise led to domestic strife and relocation to parents' house.
A humorous anecdote about living in a race car bed and feeling unsafe unless Paramount stars make funny robot sounds.
The observation that racism is a recurring theme in the Transformers movies, with the city of Chicago being decimated in every film.
A surprising claim that history is altered in the Transformers universe, with the moon landing involving Transformers and the extinction of dinosaurs.
The speculation about King Arthur and the Transformers, suggesting a blend of historical and fantastical elements in the movie plot.
The desire for a wizard character in Transformers movies, which is humorously acknowledged as a long-standing wish.
The recurring presence of Stanley Tucci as a significant character in the Transformers universe, even after previous movies' events.
The introduction of dragons and wizards into the Transformers storyline, potentially making it the best installment.
A reflection on the absurdity of certain scenes, such as a dragon tripping and causing fire without fire-breathing.
The mention of Optimus Prime's departure and return, with a focus on the character's struggles and the impact on the viewer.
The critique of the movie's writing, suggesting it feels as if written by 8-year-olds due to the lack of context and coherence.
The observation that the Transformers movies often start with insane scenarios without elaboration, leaving viewers to piece together the story.
The recurring theme of the main character being a 'loser' in the beginning of each movie, despite ending up in a better place by the end.
The critique of the military's portrayal in the movie, questioning their decisions and actions regarding the Transformers.
The mention of the moon crashing into Earth as a plot point, highlighting the scale of destruction and crisis in the movie.
The revelation of a character being Merlin's last descendant and the chosen one, adding a mythical and legendary aspect to the story.
The humorous and critical commentary on the aspect ratio changes during the movie, affecting the viewer's immersion and experience.
The final merging of the worlds (Cybertron and Earth) and the implications it has for the future of the Transformers and human coexistence.
Transcripts
so it's been a while yeah uh things have
really gone downhill in my life since we
started with these movies yeah yeah um
like I don't know what it is but like
now I just get car sick so I had to walk
here today and I don't mean like car
sick like I like I can't get in the car
I mean I I can't even look at a car um
but then I got fired for violently
shaking all of our products yelling at
them and asking if they're in Disguise
and you know that made things difficult
at home and you know Jackie's leaving me
cuz like she caught me putting her
lingerie on the Roomba so I've been
living with my
parents and I tell you what it's just
really hard to relax in a race car
bed ah we're back to
this I don't feel safe unless the
Paramount stars make funny robot
sounds ah more r IST history this is
already starting things off strong we've
watched a lot of Transformers movies at
this point there are a few core tenants
racism always alive and well in this
world yes yes yes uh the city of Chicago
must be decimated in every film and
thirdly history is not what you remember
when we went to the moon we found
Transformers when the dinosaurs died
Transformers killed them and now it
appears as though King Arthur maybe
fighting the Vikings during the dark
cages and he may be in cahoots with the
Trans attacked by Decepticons where in
hell is your so-called magician he will
be here where is your magician if
there's a wizard in this movie I'm going
to be so happy cuz I've always said the
Transformers movies would be better with
a wizard I you have I remember you've
gone on record saying this you know what
none of these people are American why
should I care Michael B yeah wait a
minute where's the military is this a
wizard oh he's a drunk we always H one
of the other tenants of Michael B one of
the characters has to be a funny wise
and drunk and funny fun guy fart Stanley
Tucci yep I [Â __Â ] knew it but he's
already in the movies I can't believe he
came back honestly Stanley Chi is the
key to all of
this and I know that was a joke we made
over and over last time but it is the
truth now I think Stanley Tui is the
most important person in the universe of
transformers this movie added dragons
and wizards I think it might be the best
that's a [Â __Â ] Hydra what is this is
the coolest one we've ever
seen what the
[Â __Â ] he casted a a buff on them they've
got I guess all spark infused armor that
Merlin made them I don't think they need
that there's a dragon going [Â __Â ]
sickle mode on the battle fell on the
the battlefield I I thought he was going
to come and like just do fire breath but
no he just tripped
and now they're on fire somehow that one
guy how' he end up in that
position I am PR and I'm coming and I
cannot come to the phone right now so I
want everybody to remember the last we
saw of Optimus he was flying into this
into space like a [Â __Â ] cool guy he's
like I'm coming to [Â __Â ] you up he um did
freeze entering upon entering low orbit
he is frozen and
he [Â __Â ] up once again most of the
times when we've seen Optimus flying he
has [Â __Â ] up I don't think I think this
is why he was de relegated to car form
yeah he's not good at flying except in
Cuba Castro lets them sun on his
Beaches come onos there we go yep got to
have a little bit of racism just a
little bit there he is God he's back I
was just saying in another video how
great of an actor he is and I'm just
glad I get to see him
be in these movies over and
over is that buster Tony yeah Buster
they always throw these [Â __Â ] people
at us you know
yeah government doesn't want us to go in
here we don't even need shots of these
people talking it's that's a crazy
statement like I Saw the Sign yeah I
don't need him to say the government
doesn't want us to go in there we're not
supposed to be here we're kids man we
get away with anything we're kids man we
can get away with anything no child why
is stuff still on
fire how soon was this I've always said
that this felt like this movies felt
like they're written by 8-year-olds
there has never been more true until
now was that already in wide screen no
no it keeps going in and out of IMAX
mode
turtlebot that's Rock slide it's canopy
canopy could have been anything you know
it's like an Elden ring Transformer yeah
he's kind of crazy the grafted one yeah
he look at him he doesn't need to look
like that that's not part of his body
it's like some sort of weird ghillie
suit of rubble why is he shot in
IMAX it keeps like flopping back and
forth I don't know if it's going to come
through on for you guys but it looks bad
oh [Â __Â ] it's Kade Jagger and he's
throwing a grenade you know what's crazy
is that we have no context for anything
that's happening there he is Bumbo be
he's very clean he's been in every movie
why is this in nightx I don't know just
wait this one isn't this one's normal
what that last shot was this one is
because the fence we had it had to feel
like the fence was coming right at us
mhm it is so distracting why is every
other shot in wide screen
all
right what the hell I put pressure on
the
wound how long has he been here I'm I'm
really I really don't know we have so
little context for what's happening I
cannot express enough that we shit's
just happening we just have to accept it
I'm like praying for the movie to tell
me what's going on at some point I'm
just praying for there to be a lightning
strike right on your house I love the
new approach these last few movies have'
taken which is start with showing us
something absolutely insane do not
elaborate for about one to two
hours bumblebee you [Â __Â ] suck wait
this is on purpose it's crazy how he
never does this before or since like
after this point where in the
Transformers Bible is it like oh yes
they have like complete control over all
the limbs like we have been shown that
when they lose their limbs they are dead
yeah when their head comes off they are
dead it's him who white
guy he's been in the other movies we
haven't seen him in a
few oh it's the dwarf the DWF is still
alive I'm so shocked usually we do not
see the side character Transformers ever
again they usually just die they either
die off screen or we just do not see
them I've never seen one like it General
hey this guy hey he's here too yeah this
is bringing back all of our f favorite
characters Lord
Megatron oh yeah he got
resurrected we must have it what are you
doing are you the one who's been setting
these
fires There He Go Optimus [Â __Â ]
sucks what has happened to my world what
do you think it was in good shape yeah I
thought we've established you know what
happened to cyber
you left for a reason and now Cortana is
here okay okay all right Diablo I was
going to say like we we had our stranger
things now we're enjoying some good old
Doom World of Warcraft Doom Diablo
you're going to fix it or the race of
Transformers dies forever I love that
they are canonically called Transformers
yes they're not called like chutar or
anything no they are just called the
Transformers vom vites yeah like do
something else you know yeah there he is
I'm here I'm the
N they paid me so much [Â __Â ]
money I wonder if we're going to have a
woman to objectify in this
movie she's not a good driver
I'm sure that'll play in later well I
just I just told you we got to have a
woman who's bad at stuff and and foolish
our
Dragon just a medieval catapult this is
a crazy historical painting by the way
yeah it looks like it looks like Lord of
the Rings concept art yeah pretty sure
it's not real you know what to do don't
you man how much of his career is just
talking to nothing oh oh it's a good
it's an easy life it's easy life I mean
since the beginning you know they put
him in a [Â __Â ] glass box and insid of
the Lambs and they have talk to one
person probably the the the one actor in
the world who just gets to do the least
amount of work he at army at most is
talking to one
person I think we've cracked the code on
him the racist Samurai is still here is
he still yellow he's still yellow it's
the pirate I'm glad we still have our
funny character a flying machine that's
the least surpris why would a
Transformer need a
vehicle this is so
stupid I love the [Â __Â ] Transformers
robe the coat the long coat it's so cool
if I was a Transformer I want I want a
[Â __Â ] clo it is [Â __Â ] cool rimlock
is still
here I'm so used to them getting rid of
everything that they used in the last
movie who is that yeah wait who is this
that's the dwarf no he's a gnome what I
found in Buffalo star screams head
ladies and gentlemen I got what's that
voice actor it's a very familiar voice
that's Steve
BMI it
is it like it just like activated my
brain I'm like I know who this is what
car brand is Japanese guy he's a
Mercedes okay famously Japanese car
brand going to say
it's either really racist or not and I
don't know which one would be more
racist oh thank God ah thank you lock
put that in GIF format for me please
yeah just uh get that right in the
middle of the shot beer me little
dinosaur my favorite thing about these
movies about these Michael Bay movies is
every movie puts him on an arc where he
ends up in a better place by the end of
the movie but the beginning of every
movie has to have him
in the worst possible low it happened
with Sam Whit Wiki he would always end
the movie in a place emotionally at a
high place and then the next movie would
establish no his life is still sucks wor
the thing is I think it's just that
whoever writes these movies is incapable
of not writing a loser our main
character is always a [Â __Â ] loser i'
cutter eyes the artery and re channel
the central flow into the the
Whatchamacallit the the tube with said
do hickey thing yeah not bad she's
techno savvy just like him he's she's
everything he wanted his daughter to be
you see that's why his daughter is not
in the movie A lot of this movie is not
taking place in good old America I just
got to say yeah what is all this stuff I
want to see the military oh my
God he is not there he is so far away
from there he might as well be in a real
desert oh my God that's how far from the
studio most obvious green screen I've
ever seen like this right here Michael
Bay ass shot yeah that that's a desktop
right right there [Â __Â ] sun in the
background look at this Michael B ass
shot let's get more characters please
yeah we need more characters yeah it it
it's weird that we have a blend of
reoccurring characters that I never
expected to see again like this is the
[Â __Â ] guy that said surrender or you
will be killed that's the oldest joke
we've had in this series and he's back
but also we need more humans somehow
because everybody's only agreed to be in
this movie for a total of 15 minutes K
right now oh no all right so we have
moved up from Doom and Destiny and now
we are in Quon Tarantino
Borderlands
dreadbot dreadbot these are getting
Dumber by the second what is this some
kind of suicide Squad Nitro Zeus nitus
that is not his
name you got John deio for two different
characters can't be can't be it can't be
it can't be I'm checking but it can't
[Music]
be what do you really want Megatron what
anyone wants human to go home do we
trust Megatron like if he actually wants
to go home very different do we trust
Megatron it's venom it's venom from GI
Joe we didn't have that much military
prop again in the last one these shots
right here this is core Transformers for
me just Dusty [Â __Â ] Dragon Ball
Wasteland but with cars it's crazy to me
that it might be the case that bumblebee
can speak he simply chooses not to cuz I
know in bumblebee they establish why
he's like that but across these movies
sometimes he just talks like no no like
radio or movies or yeah was it the last
one where he just like stra the first
one the world has gotten really shitty
like they need to play that up we are
entering well I mean they kind of are
trying to at this one they are saying
like oh you know my town is decimated my
family's dead yet I still love those
Transformers I feel like that character
should really hate Transformers I
shouldn't feel like the time that's
passed between every movie is like a
decade I think the Transformers have
overall given our world a net
negative in Impact it's it's at the
point now where I don't think the
military is wrong for Banning robots
from the world every movie they destroy
countless cities they kill thousands of
people I think I'm anti- Transformer
that's transphobic yeah you're
right you're absolutely right screaming
at gun get those vile beam I'm on
him get those
villains they want to stop us from going
home Optimist can just straight up fly
home yeah where is Optimus [Â __Â ] he
flew home why don't they just do
that why the green
blood damn I don't know which one that
was but he's
dead dropped his gun what's your gun
going to do giant robots what's yeah but
why do you drop in the middle of the
road what's an M4 going to do other it
to Mark wber I think that the M4 could
definitely take this thing
out never mind he's
dead hope you didn't get too attached I
was about to say get him out of the
movie I really wish I had said
it my Lord that did not look good why
does it look so bad sometimes you have a
fly Cuba airplanes are from the 1940s so
look up at the script again cyber I
found it yep yeah he's look again he's
read the script he's read the script
zoom in further uh what that who's
editing this [Â __Â ] shot on iPhone why is
it blind screen some shots and not wide
screw the other shots make it make
[Â __Â ] sense what is happening this
isn't even funny for you guys yeah if I
I'm making fun of the actual film making
it's not funny if my copy of the [Â __Â ]
movie that I'm going edit this on
doesn't have these like weird changes in
uh in aspect ratio we're going to have
to reshoot the whole thing yeah it's
it's not going to come through so just
know that every other shot changes the
aspect ratio for some
reason Hogwarts joke come in now this is
the most British like this is Michael B
weird British Whimsy is like I think I
know everything that I need to know
about the UK yeah she's going to be
whisked away to a magical
land first she receives a letter saying
you've been invited and her life was
Chang changed
forever oh beautiful I'm really curious
I'm really curious to see if he's onet
with these people I really need to know
I'm so fascinated by this like I really
I am so fixated on analyzing if he's in
this movie or not again why is the
aspect ratio changing between shots I'm
going to rip my own head off it's
driving me crazy it's making me remember
I'm watching a movie I'm not immersed at
all did they only have two cameras they
only have two cameras and they didn't
change like the the settings on any of
them what's happening I don't know I
don't know it's driving me [Â __Â ] crazy
I am going to lose my [Â __Â ] mind shall
I take his head off Madam tempting but
um was he did he say something UNC to
her I mean I have to imagine he probably
got the time for tea wrong oh yeah yeah
he probably called them cookies instead
of
biscuits he probably said french
fries that's the watch that killed
Hitler don't screw with it that's the
watch that killed hit
the [Â __Â ] how long has the [Â __Â ] have the
Transformers been what the [Â __Â ] hold on
you're going too fast through these when
earlier I need to look at these I need
to know har tman did the Transformers
build the underground [Â __Â ] railroad
like I need to know what's going on
right now what is happening this is too
slow down s Wiki your father was a
member your father was a member of the
wit wikin was Sam Whit Wiki related to
Merlin related to this lady if Merlin is
the ancestor of the other Stanley Tucci
character that means he's also related
to Sam hold on hold on hold on what's
Happening Here why can't hold on hold on
why what is going on
now we in World War II they just said
that bumblebee helped take out
Hitler I feel like happening I feel like
this would have come up a lot sooner
B yeah he's so nice behind the lines
during the war they called him many
things nice was never one of
them no no no no no no because I've seen
bumblebee I've seen the
movie and this is not canon when this
movie ends in complete destruction of
the known universe then you'll
understand [Â __Â ] JoJo's Bizarre
Adventure reset cuz that's what's going
to have to happen right now it cannot be
Canon that this happened end of bay
Evangelion I just this really makes
anthropologists and historians look like
[Â __Â ] idiots that they never figured
this [Â __Â ] out yeah you know yeah no what
what I'm getting from all this is that
humans were never really in control of
anything humans were never paying
attention humans never even got anything
right now Legend held that one last
night would someday be chosen the
struggle he is the last night I thought
the last night would be Optimus Prime
but no it is Cade the legend last night
Jager It's like Star Wars the the
title's meant to throw you off why is he
the chosen one qualities of a knight
purity of heart Valor honor virtue
Integrity I have those he American I we
we have met we've known this
man he has none of these qualities he is
not pure of heart he has rage he has a
lot of sins actually are Merlin's Last
Descendant here on Earth and as such you
are our last hope Merlin's Last
Descendant she's the last night wait
wait wait so Sam Whit Wiki is the
descendant of Merlin where is Sam right
now is he dead Sam is just like in a
[Â __Â ] hole some somewhere he doesn't
matter
anymore what is going on up there you
checking behind pictures just rip it rip
it apart what is wrong with with this
guy I thought he was pure of heart
patient
Noble finds a room start smashing [Â __Â ]
enough just tell me now St up
yourselves he's having fun I appreciate
that like all the actors are just told
you know what everybody in the series is
a funny guy so just do whatever you want
as Unicron one day his horns will rise
to fight the Mad goddess
quintessa she will
Ender what I don't I don't know I don't
know I don't know why I don't know I
don't know why he did
[Music]
that move [Â __Â ] get out of my way move
[Â __Â ] get out of my way oh Lord I
understand the plot is we need to find
Merlin's
staff yeah I just don't know why there
had to be so many different little
moving parts to do that and this museum
is closed for eternity all you boys and
girls off the sub now off the sub now
he's having a
blast I do like this character Hopkins
is still doing the goofy wacky Michael
bake character but the fact that it's
him makes it
[Music]
funnier what oh he's going to make food
he beat the [Â __Â ] [Â __Â ] out of those
fish why why is it Sushi or is he
cooking it you shouldn't you shouldn't
cook down here with your limited oxygen
Boom the candles shouldn't even be going
no absolutely not wh wickens with
wickens yes but um they all died out not
all of them not yet they all died
out does that imply that Sam is
[Music]
Dead what is all the Blue glowy Water
this is just undiscovered
great every inch of the earth that we've
seen in this universe has had a dead
Transformer in it why are you here I
don't understand what purpose you're
serving they want the Transformers off
the planet they made to deal with
Megatron Megatron wants the staff and
he's claims he'll go home if he gets the
staff the military is stupid enough to
[Â __Â ] believe Megatron the man who did
blow up Chicago twice they're accepting
him they're they're taking him at his
word they're going to help him attack
Kade Jagger possibly kill kill him so
that they can leave the planet cuzz the
military wants the robots gone K Jagger
knows that it is his Destiny as the last
night to acquire Merlin's staff and save
the
world that's the
lore
[Laughter]
okay why wait what is that oh hold on
the this would [Â __Â ] up our planet
completely oh for sure you can't just
break the surface of the
Moon if as if we didn't have enough
going on uh now we have more plot the
moon is going to crash into the
Earth and and all of our heroes again
are in the ocean y it looks like they're
in Skull Island like the pressure the
hollow Earth yeah they
to fire yeah why is there's so much
[Â __Â ] fire for some reason the last
place I'd expect to see R random little
fires is underwater in a place that no
one's been in for years what's really
shocking is we're about 2 hours in very
very little Optimus Prime in the final
Transformers movie what if Uncharted and
Tomb Raider work together to save the
human race from Megatron it basically is
that it basically is Nathan Drake and
Lura Croft in an ancient cybertronian
ruin finding the corpse of
Merlin played by Stanley Tucci guys
meters are
freaking I got thermals everywhere it's
like somebody's setting a lot of
fires no Merlin what purpose are you
serving I'm here to protect this I'm
here to protect things after they're
taken oh it's because she's it's because
she's a
Wiccan
it is
found Sam Whit Wiki's cousins daughter's
roommate it is written that the newest
actress SL love interest will have the
power to shape the world except when the
next movie comes out everything will be
worse
again oh
[Â __Â ] oh no Nemesis Prime no this isn't
you prime give me the staff
human I will kill you he said his
catchphrase I'll kill you and I love
that that's supposed to be evil Optimus
says that he has said that in every
movie all
right into my shirt pocket his little
pocket what part of the truck is that
it's his cup
holder who we're fighting what is h
bumblebee fighting this should have been
a more epic
moment this should be given more
weight can we see the robots fighting
thank you I appreciate it I'm glad the
movie heard can you say that more often
cuz I think it listens to
you this doesn't even look good look at
oh my God it looks bad it looks bad I am
bumblebee your oldest friend he can
[Â __Â ] talk bumble bee your
voice bumblebee I have not heard it
since Cybertron fell not true uh
literally not true bumblebee I have not
heard your voice since the first movie
now you will watch Earth
die Warhammer [Â __Â ] going on here what he
do oh my God me you chose the wrong side
The Guardian Knights are going to kill
[Music]
me the funniest line he's ever said I'm
going to attack you with my
sword no just like King Arthur would
have wanted he has [Â __Â ]
Excalibur Mark Walberg
Excalibur this movie is hilarious they
just don't make him like this
anymore I love this what do you think
those guys were talking about holy [Â __Â ]
you see that down there I love this
[Â __Â ]
movie The World Is Dead by the way like
oh Jesus yeah it's a a little too late
the world is dead yeah it's already
colliding is that the moon no okay
that's us the the the planet's
destroyed I love here he's like oh
that's him he walked all the way here
damn that looks [Â __Â ] up L trust me
that's all right right there right
there jeez Lois I'm telling you
[Laughter]
Ted what then we get a shot of Anthony
Hopkins looking at a [Â __Â ] a post like
apocalyptic robot all right Anthony look
up and act like there were a bunch of
birds going
crazy what's he going to
do he they can't they can't sense him he
doesn't know what's going
on what the [Â __Â ] no way that the Hopkins
is down there he I caught in the
crossfire you wretched human
no
no he didn't even know what
happened he wasn't even looking he was
he was
lost he got [Â __Â ] nobody even knows he
was there why does I they're not even
going to know to look for him why does
he love killing people like this that
was the funniest that was up there with
TJ Miller and how funny that death
was I had
a I had my moment you didn't do anything
you kind of got shot in the street like
a
dog Megatron [Â __Â ] you up dude
strangely ceremonious death for this guy
it really felt like Michael B was like I
can't afford to keep him on set
anymore going to crush us get that ship
clear the crush zone now Crush Zone yeah
the crush Zone that's up there on the
the 8-year-old script that really
doesn't look good no it looks like
Michael baay is [Â __Â ] up my my window
screen saver oh my God now this is cool
looking this is [Â __Â ] this is so [Â __Â ]
they are literally just going to rake
the planet what do you expect to
do you guys still just have normal guns
have your guns ever killed a Transformer
ever been down with a
h imagine that just blowing your ears
out oh my God the last thing you hear is
get down with the
Hound you're death for the rest of your
life infernicus
transformed
these are getting stupider it's been a
joke since the first movie like The Dumb
Transformers names yeah and I love that
it's never it's never
changed did you forget who I am you
forgot who you are the [Â __Â ] anime
pose with the sword
S I want to see a cooler fight yeah I
want to see a cooler fight than that but
that's okay I'll take it I am Optimus
Prime and I'm
coming
what are you doing are they going to
kiss in for the
explosion oh yeah
[Music]
uh-huh oh my God Optimus Optimus has
this weird tactic in these movies where
if he has to save someone he tackles the
debris and it explodes into a million
pieces whatever the problem is he forces
his body into it yes you were brothers
once
once I am Optimus pride and I'm coming
oh my God
that was okay yeah you got to find a
different way to kill him every time
that's cool my
hand this is so dumb so
long so
stupid that was it sting like a
bee zoom in on my arm for that shot
because I got goosebumps from how cringy
it was
I think I prefer bumblebee doesn't
talk hey a truck this is so dumb I sure
miss seeing the truck just run you're
faster than the truck apparently yeah
there's a planet being dropped on Earth
right now doesn't matter if it's not
going to blow us up anymore it probably
still would it's still up there but now
our worlds are joined as one I don't
think that's a good thing so now you
can't kick us out this is a really weird
ending yeah Cybertron is now attached to
Earth so you don't have a choice we live
here now there is more to this planet
than meets the eye oh he said the thing
I am Optimus Prime and I'm going so
there's just an
umbilicus yes that's fine I I'm sure
that won't matter that won't lead to any
conflict well that
was fascinating
it's exhausting while this journey is
over and Michael Bay is gone we still
have more Transformers movies so our
work will never
[Music]
end
[Music]
transform
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