In My 20s Diaries | Reversing my glow up transformations & prepping to be a red carpet host

Haley Pham
19 Mar 202418:34

Summary

TLDRIn this engaging vlog, the creator takes viewers on a personal journey as she reverses her past beauty transformations, removing eyelash extensions and her nose ring. The vlog then shifts to a thrilling opportunity where she interviews cast members on a red carpet for a Peacock original show based on the book 'Apples Never Fall' by Liane Moriarty. Despite her social anxiety, she prepares by shopping for an outfit, practicing makeup, and reading the book. The video documents her nervousness, the process of getting ready, and her eventual triumph over her fears. It concludes with her reflecting on her personal growth and how she overcame her social anxiety to embrace new experiences.

Takeaways

  • 🎥 The vlogger is reversing her past 'glow up' transformations by removing her eyelash extensions and nose ring.
  • ⏳ She woke up early to drop someone off at the airport and decided to stay awake, leading to a day of personal care and reflection.
  • 📚 She discusses her past content focusing on transformation videos and her decision to change her appearance after getting married.
  • 🌿 Inspired by a TikTok video, she decides to remove her nose ring due to concerns about skin staining from the metal.
  • 👀 After five years of wearing eyelash extensions, she chooses to stop and embrace her natural lashes, even using a serum to enhance their growth.
  • 📈 She is offered a unique opportunity to interview cast members on a red carpet for a Peacock original show based on the book 'Apples Never Fall'.
  • 🛍 In preparation for the event, she goes shopping for an outfit, practices makeup, and reads the book to familiarize herself with the content.
  • 📺 She watches the first two episodes of the show for a better understanding and to prepare questions for the cast.
  • 🎙 Despite her nervousness, she successfully completes the red carpet interviews, asking the cast about their favorite books.
  • 👗 She struggles to decide on the perfect outfit for the event, aiming to feel comfortable and confident.
  • 🀗 The vlogger reflects on her personal growth, overcoming social anxiety, and embracing new opportunities that she would have previously avoided.

Q & A

  • What is the main theme of the video?

    -The main theme of the video is the creator's journey of reversing her past 'glow up' transformations, including removing her eyelash extensions and nose ring, and preparing for an exciting opportunity to interview cast members on a red carpet.

  • Why did the creator decide to remove her nose ring?

    -The creator decided to remove her nose ring after seeing a TikTok video about a girl whose nose got stained green by her nose ring due to the metal deteriorating on her skin, which scared her into making the change.

  • What was the reason behind the creator's decision to stop getting eyelash extensions?

    -The creator decided to stop getting eyelash extensions because she had been doing them for about 5 years with only one break, and she wanted to see her natural face without them.

  • What book is the creator reading in preparation for the red carpet event?

    -The creator is reading 'Apples Never Fall' by Liane Moriarty in preparation for the red carpet event, as it is being turned into a Peacock original show.

  • What was the creator's role at the red carpet event?

    -The creator's role at the red carpet event was to host and ask the actors questions related to books, such as their favorite book or the last book that made them cry.

  • How did the creator feel during the red carpet event?

    -The creator felt less nervous than expected during the red carpet event, and she was able to successfully conduct interviews without her social anxiety affecting her performance.

  • What was the creator's past struggle with social anxiety?

    -The creator's past struggle with social anxiety was so severe that mundane activities like going through a drive-thru or to the grocery store felt terrifying, and she would often present a mean mask on her face due to the tension she held.

  • How has the creator's attitude towards social anxiety changed over time?

    -The creator's attitude towards social anxiety has changed significantly, as she now forces herself to do things that make her nervous and proves her anxious thoughts wrong, leading to a decrease in the impact of social anxiety on her life.

  • What is the significance of the creator's experience at the red carpet event in relation to her personal growth?

    -The red carpet event was a significant moment for the creator's personal growth, as it represented a challenge she would have avoided in the past due to social anxiety, but she overcame her fears and successfully participated, showcasing her progress.

  • What is the creator's strategy for dealing with social anxiety?

    -The creator's strategy for dealing with social anxiety involves facing her fears head-on by doing the things that make her nervous and proving her negative thoughts wrong, which has helped her reduce the impact of social anxiety in her life.

  • How does the creator plan to use the book 'Apples Never Fall' in her content creation?

    -The creator plans to potentially create a real video discussing the books that the actors at the red carpet event mentioned, using 'Apples Never Fall' as a starting point for her content.

Outlines

00:00

🎥 Vlogging a Glowup Reversal and Exciting Opportunities

The vlogger begins by welcoming viewers back to their series and shares their plans to reverse a three-year glowup transformation by removing eyelash extensions and a nose ring. They also recount an exciting opportunity to interview cast members on a red carpet, which involves shopping for an outfit, practicing makeup, and reading a book. The vlogger's day starts early with a decision to stay awake, washing hair, and contemplating the title of the video, which reflects a humorous self-deprecating approach. They discuss their past transformation videos and the decision to stop getting eyelash extensions and remove their nose ring due to a TikTok video about metal staining. The vlogger also shares their previous experiences with hair dye and the maintenance that came with it.

05:01

📚 Preparing for a Red Carpet Event and Book Discussion

The vlogger expresses nervousness about an upcoming meeting and details their preparation for a red carpet event where they will interview cast members for a Peacock original show based on the book 'Apples Never Fall' by Leanne Mori. They discuss their role, which involves asking book-related questions to the actors. After the meeting, the vlogger feels less nervous and shares their excitement about potentially interviewing the author. They also mention their sponsored content with Hoka shoes and their personal preference for the brand. The vlogger talks about their workout routine and the importance of comfort and style in their athletic wear. They also share their progress in reading the book, its plot, and characters, and their plans to learn the actors' names and prepare questions for the interviews.

10:01

💄 Makeup and Outfit Selection for the Red Carpet

The vlogger continues their preparation for the red carpet event by watching a makeup tutorial and shopping for makeup products. They express excitement about trying new makeup after a long break from it. The vlogger practices doing their makeup and hair, trying on different outfits, and considering taking a new profile photo. They discuss their struggle to find a comfortable yet formal dress for the event and the importance of feeling at ease. The vlogger also contemplates their growth from experiencing social anxiety to confidently taking on public events and interviews.

15:02

🏚 Finalizing Looks and Overcoming Social Anxiety

The vlogger shares their final preparations for the event, including showering, doing their hair and makeup, and getting dressed. They express a mix of nerves and excitement, reflecting on past experiences with social anxiety. Upon arrival at the event, they find the experience less intimidating than anticipated. The vlogger successfully conducts interviews with the cast, asking about their favorite books, and feels a sense of accomplishment. They conclude by reflecting on their personal growth, overcoming social anxiety, and embracing new opportunities, ending the vlog on a positive and inspiring note.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Glowup

A 'glowup' refers to a significant positive transformation, often in one's appearance or style. In the video, the creator discusses reversing her past glowup transformations by removing eyelash extensions and her nose ring. It is central to the theme of personal change and self-expression.

💡Eyelash Extensions

Eyelash extensions are a beauty procedure where individual artificial eyelashes are attached to a person's natural eyelashes. The creator mentions getting them removed as part of her reverse glowup, indicating her desire to return to a more natural look and the commitment involved in maintaining eyelash extensions.

💡Nose Ring

A nose ring is a piece of jewelry worn in or on the nose. The video's creator talks about her decision to remove her nose ring due to concerns of skin staining and to change up her look, reflecting her evolving personal style and the impact of social media on her decisions.

💡Red Carpet

A red carpet event is a prestigious affair where celebrities and VIPs walk a red carpet, often stopping for interviews and photographs. The creator is invited to host a red carpet premiere, which is a significant opportunity and a source of nervous excitement for her.

💡Book to Show Adaptation

This refers to the process of adapting a book into another medium, such as a television show. The video discusses the adaptation of 'Apples Never Fall' into a Peacock original show, which is the event the creator will be hosting, tying into the theme of literature and media crossover.

💡Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is a mental health condition characterized by an intense fear of social situations. The creator reflects on her past struggles with social anxiety and how she overcame it to successfully host the red carpet event, showcasing personal growth and resilience.

💡Hosting Gig

A hosting gig refers to the role of an event host, which typically involves engaging with guests, introducing segments, and keeping the event flowing. The creator discusses her first-time experience as a host on the red carpet, which is a key part of her narrative of personal and professional development.

💡Profile Photo

A profile photo is an image used to represent a person on social media or professional platforms. The creator expresses the need to update her profile photos, indicating the importance of personal branding and the impact of appearance in digital spaces.

💡Makeup Tutorial

A makeup tutorial is a guide or demonstration on how to apply makeup. The creator follows a makeup tutorial to prepare for the red carpet event, highlighting the role of makeup in enhancing one's appearance for special occasions and the learning process involved.

💡Lash Serum

A lash serum is a cosmetic product designed to promote eyelash growth and health. After removing her eyelash extensions, the creator mentions using a lash serum in hopes of improving her natural lashes, reflecting the ongoing quest for beauty and the desire for natural enhancement.

💡Athleisure

Athleisure refers to a fashion trend that blends athletic wear with leisurewear, making it suitable for both working out and everyday wear. The creator discusses wearing athletic shoes for both exercise and casual outings, indicating the trend's popularity and versatility.

Highlights

The vlogger is reversing 3 years of glowup transformations by removing her eyelash extensions and nose ring.

She got an exciting opportunity to interview cast members on a red carpet, which required shopping for an outfit, practicing makeup, and reading a book.

The vlogger woke up at 4:30 am on hair washing day and considered playing chess before washing her hair.

She reminisces about her past transformation videos and how she used to change her appearance drastically in a short time.

After getting married, she made a big change by going platinum blonde, getting a nose piercing, and considering tattoos.

A TikTok video about a nose ring causing skin staining convinced her to remove her own nose ring.

She decided to stop getting eyelash extensions after 5 years, as they were a time and money commitment.

The vlogger was asked to host a red carpet premiere for a Peacock original show based on the book 'Apples Never Fall'.

She prepared by reading the book, watching early access episodes, learning actors' names, and thinking of interview questions.

The vlogger practiced doing her makeup for the event, following a tutorial from Steph B.

She tried on multiple dresses before deciding on the most comfortable and suitable one for the red carpet.

The vlogger documented her experience on the red carpet, interviewing the cast and overcoming her social anxiety.

She reflected on her past struggles with social anxiety and how she has learned to face her fears and not let them hold her back.

The vlogger expressed gratitude for the opportunity and the personal growth she experienced from stepping out of her comfort zone.

She encouraged viewers to challenge their own fears and not let anxiety control their lives.

The vlog ends on a positive note, with the vlogger feeling happy and empowered by her experience.

Transcripts

00:00

welcome back to another in my 20s

00:01

Diaries in today's Vlog I'm going to be

00:03

reversing 3 years of glowup

00:05

Transformations removing my eyelash

00:07

extensions my nose ring etc etc and then

00:09

in the same week I got one of the most

00:11

exciting opportunities ever where I was

00:13

going to interview cast members on a red

00:15

carpet so I needed to shop for an outfit

00:17

practice makeup read a book and it was

00:19

just a very chaotic fun good time and I

00:21

even take you guys to the Green carpet

00:23

but let us begin all the way at the

00:24

beginning good morning I woke up at 4:30

00:27

to drop off ride at the airport has

00:29

dropped Mom should I go to sleep or

00:30

should I stay up let's find out well

00:32

looks like the answer is stay up cuz I'm

00:34

not sleepy it's hair washing day as you

00:36

can probably see and I'm probably just

00:38

going to do that now might even play a

00:41

game of chess and then go wash my hair

00:43

but welcome back to the in my 20s

00:45

Diaries I haven't filmed one of these in

00:46

so long and today's topic and video is

00:49

going to be so

00:51

exciting good night cookie I did in fact

00:54

end up falling back asleep but then I

00:56

did wash my hair and it's many hours

00:58

later but I was thinking about how to

01:00

explain this title because it came to be

01:02

by me joking around with Bri about how

01:04

so much my channel used to be these like

01:06

transformation videos um a lot of them

01:08

are privated now because I find myself

01:10

from 5 years ago very hard to watch but

01:12

I would basically try to change my

01:14

appearance as much as possible in a very

01:15

short amount of time and the first one I

01:17

ever did was so fun it was just a fun

01:19

video the title is very what's that word

01:21

when your humor is like self

01:23

self-deprecating the title is very

01:25

self-deprecating and I would never title

01:26

something like that now but I just think

01:28

it's funny because I took out my nose

01:30

ring and I'm going to stop getting

01:31

eyelash extensions I'm actually getting

01:33

them removed this Friday so in 2 days

01:35

and I was joking with Bri about how it's

01:37

like I'm reversing every single glow up

01:39

I ever did and the biggest one I feel

01:40

like I ever did to myself was right

01:43

after getting married I was like I'm

01:44

going to get platinum blonde hair I'm

01:46

going to get a nose piercing and I'm

01:47

going to get tattoos I'm really glad I

01:49

did not get the tattoos because I would

01:51

not like the ones that I chose back then

01:52

for myself now but loved the nose

01:54

piercing honestly loved the hair it just

01:56

was so hard to keep up with that I

01:58

couldn't anymore but my hair is finally

02:00

like years later getting back to where

02:02

it was where I don't have to die it dark

02:03

again where it just has grown out of my

02:04

head like this now which took so long so

02:07

if you want to bleach your hair keep

02:08

that in mind fast forward to now I

02:10

randomly saw a Tik Tok about a girl

02:11

whose nose got stained green by her nose

02:14

ring because of the metal deteriorating

02:16

on her skin or something and I'd already

02:17

been thinking about changing it up and

02:19

taking the nose ring out and that Tik

02:21

Tok just kind of scared me into doing

02:22

that so it was just a little stud I feel

02:24

like most people don't even notice it

02:26

unless you like nose rings and then you

02:27

did notice it but it was on this side of

02:29

my face and I took that out and I've

02:31

really been liking how it looks without

02:32

and being able to wash my face and not

02:34

avoid it or blow my nose cuz I have

02:35

allergies and I always had to like avoid

02:37

the nose ring and then I got the idea a

02:39

few weeks ago to stop doing eyelash

02:41

extensions because I've been doing them

02:43

for like 5 years and I've only ever

02:46

taken one break and I got them initially

02:48

because my natural eyelashes are very

02:50

short and very straight which is fine

02:52

but I just really love the look of

02:54

eyelash extensions and how you could

02:56

just wake up not do any makeup and it

02:57

looks like you have makeup on you can go

02:59

swimming with with them on it's really

03:00

just nice to have this like built-in

03:03

look on your face that where you don't

03:04

have to put in any effort really but it

03:05

is a time commitment a money commitment

03:07

they're just eyelashes it's not a big

03:09

deal but for me I'm like I haven't seen

03:11

my face without them in 5 years that's

03:13

pretty crazy how am I going to react so

03:15

this video is as if I did all of my

03:17

glowup videos in reverse and then I also

03:20

need to take a profile photo because the

03:22

ones that I have on my YouTube channel

03:24

and my Instagram account are from so

03:26

long ago and I just don't ever take new

03:28

profile photos because that feels like a

03:29

lot of effort morning guys it's the next

03:30

day I did get coffee and it's biting me

03:32

in the butt right now because I'm about

03:34

to go on a meeting for the thing that

03:35

I'm about to tell you about and I have

03:37

the like the butterflies in your stomach

03:39

that are just so intrusive AKA being

03:42

nervous I have 6 minutes until the

03:44

meeting and I'm the type of person who

03:46

like an hour before I have to do

03:48

something I can't I'm just in paralyzed

03:50

like I can't do anything except think

03:51

about the thought that I have to do that

03:53

thing and be prepared and free to do it

03:55

an hour before even though could have

03:57

used that hour of time to do something

03:58

else Noe I'm just going to sit back the

03:59

computer and wait to make sure I don't

04:01

miss it but basically this book apples

04:04

Never Fall by lean Mori is being turned

04:06

into a peacock original show and they

04:08

asked me to be a host on the red carpet

04:11

premiere of the show in La I have never

04:13

done something like this before in my

04:15

life I've never really interviewed

04:16

anyone definitely never hosted I just

04:18

did my first red carpet ever and it was

04:20

only because of Ryan that was in my

04:21

previous in my 20s Diaries video and I

04:23

feel like because I got to do that one

04:25

it made me realize that it's nothing to

04:27

be too nervous about there's like a

04:28

bunch of people with microphones as you

04:30

go down the red carpet who will ask you

04:31

different questions and I think I would

04:34

pretty much be one of those people and

04:36

me because I read books that's why this

04:38

event would be something they thought of

04:40

me for because like I said never done a

04:41

hosting gig in my life but I'm about to

04:43

hop on a meeting with them and I guess

04:45

get more details about it but I need to

04:47

go shopping for an outfit for it I don't

04:49

have any sort of outfit I need to read

04:51

this book and then they gave me early

04:53

access to the first two episodes so then

04:55

I need to also watch those two episodes

04:57

and then I need to learn all of the

04:58

actors names and then think of some

05:00

questions so we have quite a bit of prep

05:03

before next Tuesday when I fly to LA and

05:05

do the thing do the thing that's so I do

05:07

not even say that I'm just nervous right

05:09

now so I'm saying random stuff this is

05:10

what I talk like when I'm nervous you're

05:12

getting a very inside look into it wish

05:14

me luck guys meeting over it was only 16

05:17

minutes it was perfect and amazing and

05:19

awesome and fun and it actually made me

05:20

way less nervous because we went over my

05:22

role and I'm going to be asking the

05:24

actors just questions related to books

05:26

in general what's your favorite book

05:28

what's the last book that made you cry

05:29

and more just general topic like this is

05:31

kind of how I talk to my friends about

05:32

books so it doesn't even have to be

05:34

anything crazy about their acting role

05:36

from the book to show exactly and then I

05:39

might have a chance to interview the

05:41

author lean Mor arti which makes me

05:43

think after I finish this book maybe I

05:44

should just go on a tear and read more

05:46

of her book so that by the time Tuesday

05:47

comes around I can be like hello lean

05:49

yeah I'm so hyper after that I had so

05:51

much adrenaline from a silly little

05:53

phone call so I feel like I might just

05:54

change into my workout clothes and go on

05:57

a w with Spock hi buddy s w lagging I

06:00

can't say the full word because he'll

06:01

know what it is and then maybe work out

06:02

because I just am so hyper right now I

06:04

need to like get out before I just sit

06:06

and read this book but then we need to

06:07

go shopping for an outfit for the red

06:10

carpet afid

06:13

[Music]

06:19

emid I'm wearing sunglasses because I

06:21

filmed this after getting my lash

06:23

extensions off and you're not allowed to

06:24

see that yet and I also have my pinky

06:25

wrap because I heard a deadlifting but

06:27

this is so exciting because this video

06:29

sponsored by Hoka and I ran my half

06:31

marathon in hokas and at the time I was

06:33

begging for a sponsorship and the day

06:35

has come they came out with all of these

06:36

cute new colorways and their already

06:38

Amazing shoes this is the vanilla

06:40

Sandstone collection so that you can

06:42

wear them whenever you are running

06:44

walking working out whatever but also

06:45

they're just cute to wear in your

06:47

everyday outfits so Ryan and I have been

06:49

going on these things that we call

06:50

Coffee walks where we walk our dog SP I

06:52

like to wear a cute little outfit and I

06:54

wear a pair of these hokas whether it's

06:55

these These are the solom Mars in

06:57

vanilla and Sandstone or these hondai

06:59

eights these ones look like a little

07:01

sunset or the Clifton nines I love the

07:04

little pink so cute obviously athleisure

07:07

has been a popular thing for a long time

07:08

but especially where I live if you just

07:10

wear leggings a crew neck these shoes it

07:12

feels like cute and fun so yeah I do my

07:15

little coffee walks in these shoes and

07:16

then I do some weightlifting every other

07:18

day hence this but the new Hoka

07:20

collection is so cute and they obviously

07:22

are like known for their function so I

07:24

will link them down below at hoka.com if

07:26

you want to shop them and thank you for

07:27

sponsoring this video Hoka you guys were

07:28

one of my dreams sponsors and I cannot

07:30

believe that this finally happened okay

07:32

I'm showered atat some food and I need

07:34

to get back to reading apples never fall

07:36

this is like a family drama with a bit

07:38

of a mystery involved because the mom is

07:40

missing and we're following a lot of I

07:42

think it's like third person that can

07:43

switch from different people's point of

07:44

views but we're following this character

07:46

named Joy who's like the 69-year-old

07:48

mother she has four kids and they're all

07:50

older now and then the husband Stan they

07:52

owned a tennis camp together and right

07:54

now Joy is missing and they're trying to

07:56

figure out where the heck she is and

07:58

there's a bit of a p present timeline

08:00

because at one point they hosted this

08:02

girl who just randomly showed up on

08:04

their doorstep and H obviously the vibe

08:07

right now is Sinister so it just feels

08:09

like okay how is that random girl going

08:11

to tie into why the mom is missing so

08:13

I'm like 88 pages in it's like 400

08:15

something pages but it's really quick to

08:17

read nothing too crazy I'm really

08:19

excited it's my first lean Mor arti book

08:21

and like I know I'm on page 137 of this

08:25

book I'm going to read listen to music

08:27

and then I need to watch the show

08:28

tonight stock their Instagrams learn

08:30

their names and think of some questions

08:32

and then practice and also show you what

08:34

I bought from the

08:36

store last time with the lashes say bye

08:39

bye-bye goodbye Little Friends goodbye

08:41

my little furry friends what's life

08:42

without some Furry Friends um about to

08:44

find out we're about to see my white

08:46

lashes pop out it's been done I like it

08:48

it was jarring but I like it I feel

08:50

light as a butterfly look at my white

08:52

lashes it's like it's actually crazy how

08:54

much you can see them now and I have

08:55

been grinding on the eyelash serum and

08:58

this is still how short they are but

09:00

there seems like there's more of them so

09:02

hopefully now that I use the serum

09:03

without the Lash extensions on my eyes

09:05

maybe they'll get longer but it's fun

09:07

and fresh I like it I'm back home now

09:09

washed my face and I'm feeling not as

09:12

Jarred as I thought I would be it feels

09:14

really good I feel free I'm going to

09:16

keep laying in the Sun for a little bit

09:17

and keep reading this book because I'm

09:19

making such slow progress cuz I just

09:20

haven't stayed focused for an extended

09:22

period of time in a while I'm on page

09:24

156 I think I've only read 20 pages

09:26

today so need to do that it's now the

09:28

day before I fly out to LA for these red

09:31

carpet interviews my allergies are so

09:33

bad today I can barely breathe through

09:34

my nose so hopefully that goes away but

09:36

today I have quite the agenda to prepare

09:39

I watched a makeup tutorial video and

09:41

I'm going to go to Ulta or Sephora or

09:44

something buy all that makeup come home

09:46

try on all the makeup and hair possibly

09:48

outfit that I'll do for the red carpet

09:50

tomorrow I cannot believe that's

09:52

tomorrow it's crazy and then perhaps

09:53

I'll try to take a profile photo

09:56

although I think it would need to be

09:58

evening my nose for me to take one

10:01

because it's just direct sunlight right

10:03

now so don't know when that will happen

10:04

and then I need to pack I need to keep

10:06

reading the book I'm on page like 270

10:09

I've watched the first two episodes of

10:10

the show and that was really great and I

10:12

feel like I really have most of the cast

10:13

names memorized let me just do it off

10:15

the top of my head for you and show you

10:16

how much I know Annette Benning plays

10:18

Joy Sam Neil plays Stan Jake Lacy plays

10:21

Troy Conor mergan something plays Logan

10:23

Essie randles plays Brooke Allison Brie

10:26

plays Amy and Georgia flood plays

10:28

Savannah and I just have to ask them

10:30

questions that are book rated like we

10:32

are so excited for the premiere of

10:34

apples number fall and as we all know

10:36

this was originally a book so I'm

10:37

curious what is your favorite book hard

10:39

question I know take all the time you

10:41

need but yeah I need to go by the makeup

10:43

try to do fake eyelashes figure out how

10:45

I'm going to do this for tomorrow but

10:47

maybe I'll have a new profile picture by

10:48

the end of the day let's see this is the

10:51

most amount of makeup I have bought and

10:53

used in so long and I used to love

10:55

makeup as a kid and I haven't done it in

10:57

so long so I'm geeking a little bit

10:58

right now there's just so like every

11:01

product is new to try and I'm going to

11:03

try to be following Steph B's makeup

11:05

routine so yeah this is overwhelming I

11:07

don't know where to start I'm going to

11:09

have to follow her video step by step I

11:11

will try to link the products that I'm

11:12

using first time using mascara in 5

11:14

years this is yeah this is very

11:17

[Music]

11:27

exciting so many question

11:30

I

11:33

ask wait I really like it oh my gosh let

11:37

me take my hair down we can look at this

11:39

oo wait I actually really like this I

11:42

feel so relieved right now because I

11:44

just feel like I don't know how to do

11:46

anything for the red carpet let alone

11:48

the interviews but like what I look like

11:50

I definitely don't know what to wear

11:51

don't know what how to do my hair so at

11:53

least I I think this makeup looks good

11:55

I'll have to review the footage let me

11:56

try to do a hairstyle real quick and

11:58

then I think I'm going to try take some

11:59

profile photos and then do fake

12:01

eyelashes cuz I don't really want to

12:02

have fake eyelashes in my profile photo

12:04

but all these products were perfect and

12:06

amazing so I will try to like affiliate

12:08

Shop link them to the videos so that

12:09

it's easy for you guys to find them

12:10

because I went through the entire makeup

12:11

tutorial and like typed out every

12:13

product name on my phone reasons

12:17

why you always find a small excuse to

12:23

leave what's your excuse to make me

12:27

cry my love

12:29

was lost when you came okay so this was

12:32

going to be the dress I bought this you

12:35

know thinking it was going to be the

12:36

dress but I actually don't want to wear

12:39

this I don't like that my arms are

12:40

exposed I feel like I'll be the most

12:42

uncomfortable version of myself so I

12:44

want to feel the most comfortable in

12:46

what I'm wearing and the arms being

12:47

exposed I just am not as comfortable

12:50

with it and the little bow is making it

12:51

feel a little too casual so I'm going to

12:53

put on a different dress that I have

12:54

like I feel like even the makeup looks

12:57

so intense to be with this casual dress

12:59

so I'm going to try on a different one

13:00

okay this one I love I'm wearing this

13:02

dress in my profile photo on my YouTube

13:04

channel and I think I want to take

13:05

profile photos in this one possibly I

13:07

don't want to wear this to the red

13:08

carpet but I might try to take some

13:10

photos in it right now cute taking

13:12

profile photos not working right now I

13:14

love the pattern of this dress but I

13:15

hate the bottom of it it's like a body

13:17

contess I just don't like those as you

13:19

can see it is simply too bright outside

13:22

to be trying to do this so I'm going to

13:24

wait till tonight I'm going to start

13:25

packing this is all starting to feel so

13:27

real try do a practice thing but thank

13:28

you so so much for stopping by have an

13:30

amazing night tonight and scene

13:33

okay oh my gosh I scared okay this dress

13:38

the thing I don't like about this dress

13:39

is I just feel like I'm 12 years old but

13:42

I feel the most comfortable in it which

13:44

I think those two things actually make a

13:45

lot of sense together but I mean it is

13:47

really cute maybe it's just the shoes

13:49

that make me feel like that yeah maybe

13:51

it's the shoes let me put on some

13:52

serious heels I am very short so I want

13:55

to wear heels but at the same time they

13:57

said I would be on my feet for a long

13:58

time time that I should wear something

14:00

comfortable obviously I wouldn't wear

14:02

these socks yeah I like it better with

14:03

the heels but would I be comfortable

14:05

enough in them for like I can't imagine

14:07

it would take longer than 2 hours okay

14:09

so this is probably what I will

14:11

[Music]

14:14

wear is screaming

14:21

out don't

14:22

[Music]

14:26

goid I'm in complete this is the cutest

14:29

hotel ever I'm so nervous I've just been

14:32

laying for like 4 hours and then

14:34

randomly interjecting random questions I

14:37

have I'm trying to think of transition

14:38

pieces like I'm Haley I make

14:41

book I make book videos for a living and

14:43

you've officially started something that

14:45

was originally a book so now the whole

14:46

book Community is going to be interested

14:47

in you and we all want to know what's

14:49

your favorite book something like that

14:51

you know what I mean but anyways you

14:52

guys have seen my inner turmoil about

14:54

this for so long I haven't had a moment

14:55

of Peace since I got the phone call that

14:57

I had this opportunity and it's only

14:59

going to be an hour long really which is

15:00

hilarious because I've thought about it

15:01

for so long but I'm going to start go

15:03

getting ready by first showering washing

15:05

my hair Dice and air up do my makeup put

15:07

on the outfit my call time's at 5:00 it

15:10

starts at 6:00 and then it should be

15:11

over by 7:00 and then I will have so

15:13

much peace and nothing to anticipate in

15:15

the future that is nerve-wracking so

15:17

let's go get ready and my hair is also

15:20

done but it's staying pinned up in the

15:22

front at least for now goodbye now I'm

15:24

leaving I have no time to talk to you

15:25

and I'm not very I'm not nervous at

15:27

all

15:29

[Music]

15:32

hey I'm on the Green carpet Miss leaden

15:35

and I'm going to ask all the cast

15:37

members of apples never fall their

15:38

favorite book we are at the very end the

15:40

light kind of just drops off by the time

15:42

you get to us and it's just me and Ryan

15:44

over here no

15:45

microphone this is my microphone it's

15:48

going well though it's going well

15:50

right yeah it's going

15:53

well complete I got fixed can't make my

15:58

mind

15:59

how can I love you when you're not

16:04

around how can I let you let me that's a

16:08

wrap we did it it was only Ryan filming

16:11

me and I thought I was going to be like

16:12

on the red carp with a camera in my face

16:14

and it was not that so it was way more

16:16

chill than I was expecting but also I

16:18

was expecting it to be chill because I I

16:20

knew I was just blowing it up in my head

16:22

so I'm so happy with uh how it went now

16:24

I have to make a short Tik Tok reel out

16:26

of it and maybe I could actually read

16:28

the books that they told me about like a

16:30

real video could be interesting I don't

16:32

even know what books they said I know

16:34

Sam Neil said War and Peace I told sty

16:37

which is crazy that he read that and

16:38

this bathroom is so pretty so I just

16:39

want to keep filming in

16:46

here I just finished editing this video

16:48

and I'm kind of having a moment just

16:50

remembering how and I feel like I've

16:52

documented it on this channel I probably

16:54

have privated all the videos but from

16:55

the age of like 17 I started getting

16:57

really bad social to the point where

16:59

going through a drive-thru literally

17:01

felt like skydiving like my heart rate

17:02

would just go through the roof I don't

17:04

know why I was so scared of it but just

17:05

like really mundane things like even

17:07

just going to the grocery store felt so

17:09

terrifying like I just always felt like

17:10

I was doing something wrong or someone

17:11

was about to come up to me and like yell

17:13

at me or something I don't know I do not

17:15

know and the way that you could tell I

17:16

was feeling anxious is I would like have

17:18

a I would have this kind of like mean

17:20

mask on my face because I would like

17:22

hold tension in my mouth and I basically

17:24

just gave everyone the first impression

17:25

that I hated them it was actually the

17:27

opposite I was just terrified that they

17:28

hated me so now watching that clearly

17:30

like throughout the video you can see

17:31

that I'm so nervous leading up to this

17:33

event but I did it and I feel like

17:35

watching back the footage of me doing

17:37

the interviews you can't really tell

17:39

that I was ever nervous and I feel like

17:40

during it I wasn't super nervous I don't

17:42

know I just feel like it's so cool like

17:45

I really I feel like social anxiety is

17:47

not a part of my life really anymore or

17:49

if it's something that you know I'll

17:50

feel nervous going into something but I

17:52

won't let it stop me from doing it I

17:53

will still go and I keep forcing myself

17:56

to do things where I'm like okay it

17:57

feels like I will die if I go to the

17:59

park by myself so I'm going to go and

18:01

see if that happens and it turns out I

18:03

don't die so then I'm like okay I keep

18:05

proving these thoughts wrong in my head

18:07

and I truly feel like thoughts like that

18:09

now are just thoughts I don't know I

18:11

just remembered all of that I'm not a

18:12

very reflective person in general I

18:14

don't think but I feel like this was a

18:15

big night and day moment for me where I

18:16

was like 5 years ago I would have fully

18:19

passed on this opportunity and now I got

18:20

to have a fun experience where I got to

18:22

see aside myself I would have never seen

18:24

had I not been put in that situation

18:26

every in my 20s Diaries Vlog has a

18:28

little bit of sa happiness in it so if

18:29

you thought you were going to get away

18:30

from this video without that I got you

18:32

right at the end

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