Cars are getting dumber

- Hey guy, I wanna start this video

by telling you about something very dumb

that I did recently.

And I'm gonna preface this story

by saying that this was entirely my fault.

There are probably 50 things I could have done differently

to avoid what ended up happening, but I didn't.

And that's on me.

So I got a new car last month.

For most of my adult life.

I've been driving a 2012 Honda Civic

that I bought from CarMax in 2015.

I'll never forget the day I rolled up to my job at Popeye's

and felt like the coolest guy in the parking lot.

Took the max part of the sticker off

so it just said car on the back.

Had a lot of fun back then.

And even though this car was very reliable

for pretty much the entire time I had it,

it was starting to show its age.

And I got to a point where I kind of just wanted

something that felt nicer to be in.

So I splurged a little bit,

traded in for one of the coolest sports cars

on the market right now, a 2021 Hyundai Sonata.

Now that's not the dumb part.

There are so many things about this car

that are massive upgrades over what I had before.

There's a rear view camera, there's blind spot indicators.

I don't have to plug my phone in anymore to play music.

It beeps at me if I move one inch

in either direction on the highway.

It's a great car.

But there are also things about cars made in the past decade

that aren't necessarily better.

They're just different.

For one, why as a society did we get rid of the PRNDL?

I have spent the past 15 years of my life

building the muscle memory

of yanking around my car's joystick to tell it where to go.

And now it's just buttons

and I don't have the muscle memory for that.

I'm starting to develop some due to time passing.

But for the first couple weeks I own this car,

I would have to stop looking this way

so I could look down and see where the backwards button is.

So that brings me to my story.

Six days after I bought this car,

I was leaving a U-Haul storage facility

and the exit gate was open.

Now I've been there enough to know that sometimes,

even though the exit gate is supposed to close,

it'll just not.

So I gave it a couple seconds,

decided, yeah, it's gonna stay open,

and started driving forward.

And you will never guess what happened

the exact moment I made that decision.

Yeah, gate started closing.

So naturally I'm like, uh-oh,

this gate is going to hit my new used car.

I should move out of the way.

So I hit the reverse button, start accelerating,

and my car moves forward.

Now, if you've ever been operating a motor vehicle

that starts moving in the opposite direction

that you intended it to,

you probably know about the panic that sets in.

And I was running outta time.

I could feel the gate inching nearer and nearer.

So in the heat of the moment,

I very wisely decided to do

the exact same thing that didn't work the first time.

I hit the reverse button, hit the gas pedal,

and once again, my car moves forward.

At this point, the only thing I've managed to do

is get more in the path of the gate.

And before I could try my foolproof strategy a third time,

it crashed into the side of my car and the alarm went off

and it made a big old scratch

that'll probably cost couple hundred dollars

to get buffed out and repainted.

I don't know the exact amount yet

because I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone what happened.

Anyway, I've had about a month now to process this

and I'm of two minds.

On one hand, it is kind of hilarious

that I waited nine years to buy a new car

and I couldn't even get through one full week

without fucking it up.

I would love to see the security footage

of me stopping in front of a closing gate,

quickly accelerating, stopping,

accelerating again, stopping again

before getting out and yelling, God damn it.

It probably looked really fun.

But then on the other hand, I am kinda like,

well what the fuck happened?

Because like I know that I hit the reverse button

two separate times

and both times my car just decided not to do it.

I tried recreating this exact scenario in a parking lot

to pinpoint exactly where I went wrong.

And my best guess is just that I hit the accelerator

and the reverse button at the same time,

which triggered the car's computer to be like,

Hey, you can't do that.

You're gonna hurt the transmission.

Let's hit the side of the car instead.

And like it's a good thing that there's a mechanism in place

to prevent the car from changing gears

when you're moving too quickly.

If I hit the reverse button

while driving 70 miles per hour down the highway,

I actually would want my car to ignore that.

I'm pretty sure there was a similar mechanism in my old car.

The difference is though,

that if this exact scenario happened

while I was driving that one,

there would've been physical feedback

to tell me it was still in drive

and maybe I would've been less likely to floor it twice.

In order to get the same confirmation from a button,

you have to press it, look down at the dashboard,

find the part that indicates what gear the car is in,

process that information, and then react accordingly.

And even if you can do all that very quickly,

it still takes longer to send that information to your brain

than if you can just feel where your hand is.

And again, I'm the dumbass here.

There are so many things I could have done differently.

If I had just immediately accelerated

as soon as I got to the gate,

I would've made it through with time to spare.

I also could have taken three extra seconds

to just type my code in.

I even could have stayed in bed all day

and never gone anywhere near this gate.

And that would've been a better decision too.

But unfortunately, I didn't do any of those things.

I did this,

and I'm gonna have to live with that

for the rest of my life.

But my funny little mishap got me thinking about

all these things I've seen over the past couple years

of people getting screwed over

by like modern features in their cars.

And it made me wanna do some research about it.

And my takeaway is that while it would be untrue

to say that cars have gotten worse,

I do think they've gotten dumber.

I looked up why cars made the shift from the PRNDL stick

to just buttons or a touch screen on the ceiling

or a wheel that's right next to the volume knob

that hopefully never caused a hilarious

but unfortunate accident.

And it turns out the main reason is just that

the stick is not necessary anymore

because you're not physically changing the gear,

you're just telling the car's computer what to do,

which like, I get it.

You know, I'm not here to stand in the way of progress.

I just think that if you have to create a new problem

in order to fix something

that wasn't really a problem to begin with,

you're not being as innovative as you might think you are.

Without a doubt, my biggest personal gripe

with how cars are made now is touchscreen dashboards.

Almost 80% of new cars in 2022

had some kind of touchscreen display built into it.

It's just the norm now.

And on the surface it seems like an improvement.

I mean, obviously this is more advanced technology

than this, gross.

I bet this one doesn't even have 12 different menus

I can flip through to try to figure out

how to get my turn signals on.

It just doesn't make much sense to me

when there's already such a massive increase

in distracted driving and accidents

and deaths that happen because of it,

that they're adding this thing into cars

that you literally have to look at to be able to use.

There's a Swedish magazine

that ran this test a couple years ago

where they had people drive 12 different cars

down the highway

and timed how long it took for them

to complete the same series of tasks in each of them.

And the winner by far was a 2005 Volvo.

Now this doesn't mean that 2005 Volvo is the best car.

It just means that for basic tasks

like changing a radio station or turning the AC on,

physical buttons that you can memorize the location of

are the quickest and safest way to do those things.

You don't have to look away from the road

to be able to find where the button is.

I think ideally modern cars are built

with the right combination of actual buttons for basic tasks

and the touchscreen for more advanced features,

most of which you don't really need to use

while driving anyway.

And it does seem like some of the companies

that maybe over embrace this technology a few years ago

have started to peel back and find a happy media.

But what absolutely drives me crazy

is cars that have consolidated the entire dashboard

into one giant iPad.

Windshield wipers, we put it on the touchscreen.

Wanna turn the air down a little bit?

We put it on the touchscreen.

I think the irony of these kinds of interfaces

is that they give the illusion of luxury.

This certainly seems like the more innovative option

until you realize that the main reason

they're so prevalent in cars now

is because it is the cheapest way to build one.

- It actually costs a lot of money

to engineer all of these buttons and switches

and to have the wiring.

Doing all of that in software is a lot cheaper.

- It is more expensive to produce actual knobs and buttons

than it is to just throw every function onto one screen,

make it compatible with Apple CarPlay and call it a day.

And then when something goes wrong,

it's just a software problem, we'll figure it out.

Or maybe we have to replace the entire thing

and it's gonna be $4,000.

Who's to say.

And I didn't even mention the fact that

if the screen does end up malfunctioning

in a car that's entirely reliant on it,

it's not just a minor inconvenience,.

It means you can't drive the car until it gets fixed.

Some of the extra hoops

I've seen people have to jump through

in order to accomplish basic tasks now are mind boggling.

You know how sometimes you have the AC on

but it ends up blasting right into your hand,

so you have to reach over

and change the direction of the vent?

Well, that's fucking dumb, okay.

That's how a caveman would do it.

It makes way more sense to go on over to the car tablet,

find the AC control button,

select the air vent you want to change,

and then drag it where you want it to go,

all while barreling through a school zone.

While watching a bunch of videos of car dashboards,

I happened upon this 1989 Toyota

and there's something so beautiful about it.

Look at that subtle burgundy interior,

the tasteful thickness of those buttons.

Oh my god, it even has a seatbelt.

But I'm aware that I'm over romanticizing

the past a little bit,

'cause if I truly wanted a car that looked like this,

I could have just bought one.

Like I do want modern features.

I do want a car that's able to do the things

that my phone can do.

But if these things are implemented

in a way that forces you to look away from the road

in order to be able to use them,

I think we should reconsider how we got here.

At this rate, it's only a matter of time

until cars start shoving ads in our faces.

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Now where am I?

Oh great. Hi honey.

Yep, I drove into the ocean again.

Cars have been around for about a hundred years now

and it kind of seems like maybe we figured out

the best way to make them

and ran out of ways to meaningfully innovate.

But that doesn't work when you're trying to get people

to buy a new one every single year.

So you have to find something you can add

to make it seem like there's been a big improvement.

Things like door handles that retract into the car,

which I guess is cool.

I dunno if I've ever thought of the handle

sticking out three quarters of an inch as being an issue,

but I'll admit it adds some sleekness to the car

and it's not like it's making things worse, right?

What's that?

If it gets too cold outside, the handles don't work anymore.

Yeah, no, I can see how that might not be great.

- Tesla fixed this problem

with a software update last October.

You can just press this to pop the door open

when the door handles are frozen.

- Great news, everyone, we've updated the app

so you can now get into your car during the winter.

So consider that problem solved.

But didn't you create the problem in the first place?

We're actually not taking any questions at this time.

My favorite thing about these door handles

is no matter how many times I get an Uber driver

that's in a Tesla, I don't know how to get inside.

I'm sure it's very simple,

but clearly I'm struggling enough as it is.

One thing I haven't seen as many people talk about

but has driven me crazy for the past few years

is headlights are getting brighter, right?

Like that's not just me.

I cannot tell you how many times

I've been driving down a two-lane road at night

and a car passes me with headlights so unbelievably bright,

I cannot see anything for like 10 seconds.

Hopefully I'm still in my lane. I guess I'll find out soon.

Now, this is one of those things

that's a double-edged sword, right?

Because in theory, brighter headlights

should make driving safer because visibility is improved,

but I feel like it has to negate a little bit of the safety

when those headlights don't just hit the road

and instead shine directly into the eyes

of oncoming drivers.

I looked it up and the two things that are causing this are,

one, manufacturers using LEDs now

instead of the softer and yellower halogen bulbs

from the last couple decades.

LEDs tend to be brighter and more compact

so they hit even harder

when you're staring down the barrel of one.

- Oh this one for sure.

- But the other reason for this is a byproduct of something

that I think is in itself a problem,

which is that cars are so much bigger now

than they've ever been.

So if you're driving a Sedan

in the opposite lane of a brand new suburban,

those lights are gonna have to go through your eyeballs

in order to hit the road.

There's something a little paradoxical

about the safety of cars now

where they are much safer than they've ever been

while also posing more of a threat than they ever have.

A brand new truck may have great safety ratings

because it's twice as big as every other car around it,

but now every other car around it

has to worry about getting demolished

by a truck that's twice as big as them.

Pedestrian deaths in America have skyrocketed

over the past decade,

and I don't think it's a coincidence that that's happening

while cars continue to get taller and heavier

for mostly no reason other than because they can,

because there's no regulations stopping them from doing it.

And if a truck being way bigger than it needs to be

is what convinces someone to sign up

for a $1,200 a month car payment,

why would those car companies have any incentive to stop?

It's created this cycle where I think a lot of people

feel like the only way forward is to fight fire with fire.

Everyone else has a giant car,

well, I guess I need to get one for myself.

I remember seeing this post a few months ago

where this guy talked about how lucky he was

to have been driving in such a gargantuan SUV

when he got in an accident

because he and his family were able to walk away unharmed.

And obviously that's great that they're okay.

This could have ended very tragically

and I'm happy that it didn't.

But for someone to see this and their takeaway to be,

see this is why everyone should buy

the biggest SUV they can

because it's the only way to keep your family safe.

You're not taking into account

the fact that in a lot of cases

these giant trucks and SUVs are the danger.

Since the introduction of SUVs,

there has been a massive increase

in what are called front overs.

A person, usually a child getting run over by an SUV,

by a driver who can't even see them.

Over a 10 year period, over 500 American children

were killed by being run over by SUVs.

I mean, shit, why stop here?

I think every American citizen

should drive around in a military grade tank.

Yeah, we might run over a few more kids,

but as long as they're not my kids, who gives a shit?

Now, of course, I cannot make a video

about cars that are bigger than they need to be

and dumber than they need to be

and more dangerous than they need to be

without talking about the one that lies squarely

in the cross section of that Venn diagram,

the Tesla Cybertruck.

- Welcome to the Cybertruck unveiled.

(crowd cheering)

It is literally bulletproof,

ultra hard stainless steel, really hard.

Of course we'll come with autopilot standard.

Franz, could you try to break this glass please?

Oh my fucking God.

- So this awesome car,

which looks like when you first boot up a video game

and not all of the textures have loaded in yet,

was announced a couple years ago as starting at $40,000.

Fast forward to today,

anyone who is driving one of these right now,

the bare minimum that I've seen any of them spend 100 grand.

One of the biggest reasons

for this absolutely bonkers price jump

is this $20,000 foundation fee.

That's right, there's an additional fee tacked on

that is almost as much as what I spent on my entire car.

So you're probably dying to know what that bonus gets you.

Well, some people who paid for it don't even seem to know.

- $20,000 for it being a foundation series.

Now I don't know what that really means or anything,

but yeah, I paid it because I wanted the truck.

- So at first I thought it was just that

it says the word foundation on it,

which would be really funny,

but apparently most of what that fee

is meant to be attributed to

is the self-driving feature

that you would otherwise have to pay

a separate monthly fee to access.

- Of course it'll come with autopilot standard.

- Now one tiny little thing to note about this feature

is that it is not available yet

and no one can even hazard a guess as to when it will be.

So as it currently stands,

the only thing this $20,000 fee gives you

is priority access to a car that's littered with problems.

- Oh shit, oh we already broke it.

Alright, so my Cybertruck is completely broken.

My foot is on the floor and it's not moving.

- This gear selected at the top, it just dropped down.

Something's going on with the windshield.

I got all these warnings I never seen before.

I'm trying to open up the trunk, it won't respond.

I'm going back and forth trying to close it.

It won't close, it won't close, it won't close.

When the tailgate's down,

the camera's showing you the street.

I have had enough.

- At this point, I think I know more about manufacturing

than anyone currently alive on Earth.

- I have to say I have really enjoyed watching videos lately

from people who may or may not be in denial

about the absurd amount of money wasted on this stupid car.

They'll make these update videos

where they complain about so many things they hate about it

and then be like, and that's why it's a perfect car

and I have no regrets.

- This car is definitely worth the hype.

This thing right here is a fingerprint magnet.

I just got my car washed yesterday

and there's still water spots.

I noticed that my roof was starting to come off.

Their navigation system sucks.

There's rusting on the inside.

It was like this when I picked it up.

I definitely think it's worth a hundred thousand dollars.

So included with the foundation series,

you got all weather formats,

and if you look right up here,

there's a little Cybertruck logo.

- Wait, did you say floor mats for all weather?

Well, nevermind then.

They should have charged an extra $50,000.

Sorry, I should be more sensitive.

These people are going through enough right now.

It's bad enough their car is falling apart,

but they're also getting relentlessly bullied.

Cyber clown trucks for stupid.

Give it to the stupid clown to spend their life away.

And this guy just said, gay trucks,

that's like a truck owner's worst nightmare.

I will say one thing I do really love about this car

is that the rear view mirror doesn't work.

Its view is completely obstructed most of the time.

I mean, if you want,

you can just look down at the screen

at the rear view camera,

but that also becomes useless

if it gets even a little bit dirty.

And isn't driving through dirt

kind of the whole point of having a truck,

that's all they do in commercials.

Now, if off-roading is the thing you wanna do in this truck,

good luck because it doesn't seem to know how to do that.

My friend in the 4Runner

wanted to take that incline challenge and he killed it.

The Subaru also went up that incline.

The Cybertruck did not make it up that incline.

And once we got to about the middle of the incline,

it would stop.

We tried to airing down to 30 PSI,

but it still did not make it up the hill.

Also, you're not gonna believe this,

but part of his car broke while he was doing this.

How does this keep happening?

To be fair though,

look how easily it navigates this puddle of mud.

I mean, if I tried to drive through that in my old Civic,

I literally would've drowned.

But this truck can do things

that I've never seen any vehicle do before.

Yes, technically this road is paved,

but they're still in the woods.

That's gotta account for something.

This truly is the all in one vehicle.

You can drive out in the middle of nowhere

and sleep there if you want.

Even comes with its own tent

that you can attach to the back of the truck

for an additional $3,000.

Now considering you can get a pretty big tent

for like a hundred bucks,

you'd probably assume that this thing is decked out

with premium features.

No, it's just a tent.

A one inch thin mattress, a couple of straps,

a zipper that barely works.

But since it's an official Tesla product,

you know you're getting that signature

high quality engineering.

Oh, that didn't sound good.

- It's broken.

- It even comes with a bicycle pump.

So you can spend 10 minutes manually blowing it up.

For $3,000, you should be able to hit a button

and watch this thing assemble itself.

It is crazy to me how much they're able to overcharge

for the most basic shit.

Cosmetically, this stainless steel, absolutely gorgeous.

It does pick up the occasional fingerprint

if you touch it at all.

But as long as you don't get in the car

or anywhere near the car,

you've got nothing to worry about.

And if it does get a little spotty, not a problem,

just take it through a car wash.

But if you do do that,

make sure you put it on car wash mode first.

Otherwise it'll break the truck and void your warranty.

- The Cybertruck does not work anymore.

Listen to the noise this thing makes.

Has a weird popping sound.

So what did I do different?

Today I went to the beach, took it through the car wash,

make sure all the sand's off,

then I pulled it in the garage and nothing.

- This thing is practically invincible.

You can hit it with a hammer,

you can hit it with a shopping cart,

but if it gets any bugs on it,

you need to clean that off immediately

or you will ruin it forever.

The Cybertruck is also famously bulletproof,

for some reason,

although I'm not really sure

why they've made that one of the primary selling points.

- When you shoot a normal truck,

the bullets go in one side straight through

and out the other side.

You cannot hide behind the vehicle to be safe.

So it's something to keep in mind.

- Keep in mind for what?

Who are you marketing this car to? John Wick.

The things they chose to prioritize while making this truck

are baffling to me.

Who gives a that it's bulletproof

if the material they had to use to make it that way

makes it so razor sharp

you cut your hand every time you open the door.

Who cares how strong the interior is

if it can't even get wet?

They're calling it a car made for any planet.

Guys, why don't we start with making it work on this one.

As far as safety goes,

I've seen conflicting reports about this.

There's a crash that happened

between a Cybertruck and a Toyota Corolla.

And if you look at the photos from the accident,

you might think, wow, this truck is invincible.

It barely got a scratch on it.

Meanwhile, the guy in the corolla

is probably seriously hurt, right?

No, he's fine.

The problem with this rigid outer body

is that cars are designed to crumple in an accident.

That's their way of absorbing as much force as possible.

If your car doesn't crumple,

that force will be passed on to the passengers inside of it.

So while the Cybertruck may look like

the world's most indestructible car,

a lot of people who know more about physics than I do

aren't so sure this is a good thing.

I think what Tesla has done

the most successfully with this truck