Transformers: The Last Knight - Cosmonaut Picture Show

The Cosmonaut Variety Hour
8 Apr 202434:51

Summary

TLDRThe transcript appears to be a commentary on a Transformers movie, highlighting various plot points and character developments. The speaker discusses the struggles of their personal life, which oddly parallels the movie's events, including battles, character transformations, and the introduction of fantastical elements like wizards and dragons. The commentary is filled with humor, disbelief, and a critical analysis of the film's logic, historical accuracy, and character motivations. Despite the challenges and absurdity of the movie's plot, there's an underlying appreciation for the Transformers universe and its continuation in film.

Takeaways

  • 🚗 The individual's life has taken a negative turn since engaging with movies, leading to car sickness and walking to locations.
  • 💥 Fired for violently shaking products and questioning their disguise, causing further personal and professional complications.
  • 🏠 Living with parents after a breakup and struggling to adjust, including dealing with a race car bed.
  • 🎬 Transformers movies are characterized by consistent themes such as racism, the destruction of Chicago, and historical inaccuracies.
  • 🌟 The speaker believes that the addition of fantastical elements like dragons and wizards might improve the Transformers movies.
  • 🥳 Stanley Tucci's character is considered key to the Transformers universe, despite being a recurring figure in a humorous and intoxicated role.
  • 🔥 The speaker expresses a desire for more context and coherence in the plot, feeling overwhelmed by the constant, unexplained events.
  • 🎥 Criticisms of the film include poor special effects, green screen usage, and aspect ratio inconsistencies.
  • 🤖 The absence of the military in the movie is noted, questioning the realism and previous character involvement.
  • 🌍 The plot involves saving the world from destruction, with various characters playing pivotal roles in this mission.
  • 🔚 The script ends with the merging of two worlds, hinting at ongoing conflict and potential for future storylines despite the conclusion of this particular journey.

Q & A

  • What personal struggles is the speaker experiencing at the beginning of the transcript?

    -The speaker is experiencing a series of unfortunate events including getting car sick, losing their job for violent behavior towards products, and facing marital issues leading to separation from their partner, Jackie.

  • What recurring theme is mentioned about the Transformers movies?

    -The recurring theme mentioned is that racism is always present in the Transformers world, the city of Chicago is decimated in every film, and historical facts are altered, such as Transformers being involved in moon landings and the extinction of dinosaurs.

  • What is the speaker's opinion about the inclusion of a wizard in the Transformers movies?

    -The speaker believes that the Transformers movies would be better with the inclusion of a wizard, as they have always thought and are excited about the possibility of such a character being introduced.

  • What character is considered by the speaker to be the most important in the Transformers universe?

    -Stanley Tucci's character is considered by the speaker to be the most important person in the Transformers universe, as they jokingly but seriously assert that he holds the key to the entire franchise.

  • What is the speaker's reaction to the lack of military presence in the movie?

    -The speaker is surprised and questions the absence of the military, as it is a significant departure from previous movies where military involvement was a key element.

  • What does the speaker find amusing about the character of Anthony Hopkins in the movie?

    -The speaker finds it amusing that Anthony Hopkins' character appears to be caught in the crossfire and dies in a comical and unceremonious manner, which they find to be a funny and unexpected twist.

  • What is the speaker's critique about the plot and character development in the Transformers movies?

    -The speaker criticizes the plot and character development for being nonsensical and chaotic, with a lack of context and a tendency to introduce numerous unexplained elements, such as dragons and wizards.

  • What does the speaker imply about the Transformers' impact on Earth?

    -The speaker implies that the Transformers have had a net negative impact on Earth, causing destruction and death, and questions the trustworthiness of allowing them to remain on the planet.

  • What is the significance of the 'last knight' title in the movie?

    -The 'last knight' title refers to Cade Jager, who is prophesied to be the last hope for both humans and Transformers. However, the speaker questions this as Jager does not exhibit the qualities of a traditional knight such as purity, valor, or honor.

  • What is the speaker's final verdict on the Transformers movie?

    -The speaker finds the movie to be exhausting and nonsensical, yet acknowledges that despite the end of Michael Bay's involvement, the Transformers franchise will continue, indicating more movies to come.

Outlines

00:00

🚗 Struggles and Unexpected Twists

The speaker opens up about their personal struggles since getting involved with the movies, including a bizarre car sickness that doesn't allow them to even look at a car. They recount being fired for violently interrogating products and the subsequent fallout at home, leading to a separation and a move back in with their parents. The speaker also humorously mentions the challenges of adjusting to a race car bed and shares their thoughts on the Transformers movies, highlighting the recurring themes of racism, the destruction of Chicago, and historical inaccuracies.

05:03

🎬 Movie Analysis and Character Commentary

The speaker dives into a detailed analysis of the Transformers movies, discussing the importance of certain characters like Stanley Tucci's and the introduction of fantastical elements such as dragons and wizards. They express excitement over the potential inclusion of King Arthur and the presence of a drunk, wise character. The speaker also critiques the lack of military presence and the unrealistic portrayal of certain scenes, questioning the logic behind specific character actions and the overall coherence of the plot.

10:04

🤖 Transformers, Past and Present

The speaker reflects on the history and evolution of the Transformers series, noting the return of familiar characters and the introduction of new ones. They express surprise at the survival of certain characters and the resurrection of Megatron. The speaker also discusses the strange phenomenon of the main human character always being portrayed as a loser, despite the series' attempts to show character growth. They critique the lack of military involvement and the unrealistic depiction of the Transformers' impact on the world.

15:06

🌍 Global Conflict and Desperate Measures

The speaker discusses the global impact of the Transformers, questioning the logic behind their actions and the human response to them. They express a shift in their stance, suggesting a growing anti-Transformer sentiment due to the destruction they cause. The speaker also comments on the military's naivety in trusting Megatron and the absurdity of the situations presented, such as the moon crashing into Earth and the underwater fires in a hidden part of the world.

20:07

🗡️ The Last Knight's Legacy

The speaker explores the concept of 'The Last Knight' as introduced in the movie, dissecting the character of Cade Yeager and his supposed destiny. They question the portrayal of characters, the plot's inconsistencies, and the seemingly arbitrary changes in aspect ratio during the film. The speaker also highlights the humor and absurdity in the film, such as the characters' reactions to certain situations and the nonsensical elements of the plot.

25:07

🚀 Final Battle and Uncharted Territories

The speaker wraps up their commentary on the movie by discussing the climactic battle and the surprising conclusion that links the worlds of Cybertron and Earth. They reflect on the implications of this union and the potential for future conflict. The speaker also comments on the emotional weight of certain scenes, the evolution of character relationships, and the overall exhaustion brought on by the convoluted plot and relentless action.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Transformers

Transformers are a central concept in the video, referring to a race of sentient robots with the ability to disguise themselves as vehicles or other objects. In the video, they are involved in various conflicts and play a significant role in the storyline, often being the cause of destruction and chaos.

💡Disguise

Disguise in this context refers to the ability of Transformers to conceal their true robotic forms by transforming into everyday objects or vehicles. This is a key aspect of their nature and a major plot device in the video, as it allows them to blend into human society and carry out their missions without detection.

💡Destruction

Destruction is a recurring theme in the video, often associated with the actions of the Transformers. It refers to the widespread damage and chaos caused by their battles and conflicts, which frequently result in the devastation of cities and landscapes.

💡History

History in the context of the video is manipulated and altered by the presence of Transformers, leading to a version of events that differs significantly from what is traditionally known. This creates a fictional narrative where historical figures and events are intertwined with the Transformers' story.

💡Cybertron

Cybertron is the home planet of the Transformers, a crucial element in their lore and the video's narrative. It is often depicted as a war-torn planet, which is central to the Transformers' motivations and the conflicts that unfold on Earth.

💡Stanley Tucci

Stanley Tucci is an actor who appears in the Transformers movies, playing a significant role in the universe of the films. His character is often portrayed as wise, funny, and sometimes drunk, adding a unique element to the narrative and providing comic relief.

💡Optimus Prime

Optimus Prime is a key character in the Transformers series, serving as the leader of the Autobots. He is known for his noble qualities and is often the moral compass of the story. His actions and decisions significantly influence the narrative of the video.

💡Michael Bay

Michael Bay is the director of the Transformers film series, known for his distinctive style and the action-packed, high-octane sequences in his movies. His approach to filmmaking is a significant aspect of the video's critique and discussion.

💡Plot

The plot refers to the sequence of events and the main storyline of the video, which involves the Transformers' battles, the quest for power, and the impact on human society. It is the structure that holds the narrative together and drives the action forward.

💡Humor

Humor is a key element of the Transformers movies, often used to provide comic relief and lighten the mood amidst the intense action sequences. It is an essential part of the entertainment value of the films and is frequently employed through character interactions and dialogue.

Highlights

The individual's life has taken a downturn since engaging with the movies, experiencing car sickness and having to walk.

An unusual firing incident involving violently shaking products and accusing them of being in disguise led to domestic strife and relocation to parents' house.

A humorous anecdote about living in a race car bed and feeling unsafe unless Paramount stars make funny robot sounds.

The observation that racism is a recurring theme in the Transformers movies, with the city of Chicago being decimated in every film.

A surprising claim that history is altered in the Transformers universe, with the moon landing involving Transformers and the extinction of dinosaurs.

The speculation about King Arthur and the Transformers, suggesting a blend of historical and fantastical elements in the movie plot.

The desire for a wizard character in Transformers movies, which is humorously acknowledged as a long-standing wish.

The recurring presence of Stanley Tucci as a significant character in the Transformers universe, even after previous movies' events.

The introduction of dragons and wizards into the Transformers storyline, potentially making it the best installment.

A reflection on the absurdity of certain scenes, such as a dragon tripping and causing fire without fire-breathing.

The mention of Optimus Prime's departure and return, with a focus on the character's struggles and the impact on the viewer.

The critique of the movie's writing, suggesting it feels as if written by 8-year-olds due to the lack of context and coherence.

The observation that the Transformers movies often start with insane scenarios without elaboration, leaving viewers to piece together the story.

The recurring theme of the main character being a 'loser' in the beginning of each movie, despite ending up in a better place by the end.

The critique of the military's portrayal in the movie, questioning their decisions and actions regarding the Transformers.

The mention of the moon crashing into Earth as a plot point, highlighting the scale of destruction and crisis in the movie.

The revelation of a character being Merlin's last descendant and the chosen one, adding a mythical and legendary aspect to the story.

The humorous and critical commentary on the aspect ratio changes during the movie, affecting the viewer's immersion and experience.

The final merging of the worlds (Cybertron and Earth) and the implications it has for the future of the Transformers and human coexistence.

Transcripts

00:00

so it's been a while yeah uh things have

00:04

really gone downhill in my life since we

00:07

started with these movies yeah yeah um

00:11

like I don't know what it is but like

00:12

now I just get car sick so I had to walk

00:15

here today and I don't mean like car

00:17

sick like I like I can't get in the car

00:19

I mean I I can't even look at a car um

00:22

but then I got fired for violently

00:24

shaking all of our products yelling at

00:26

them and asking if they're in Disguise

00:29

and you know that made things difficult

00:30

at home and you know Jackie's leaving me

00:34

cuz like she caught me putting her

00:37

lingerie on the Roomba so I've been

00:39

living with my

00:40

parents and I tell you what it's just

00:42

really hard to relax in a race car

00:48

bed ah we're back to

00:51

this I don't feel safe unless the

00:54

Paramount stars make funny robot

00:57

sounds ah more r IST history this is

01:01

already starting things off strong we've

01:03

watched a lot of Transformers movies at

01:05

this point there are a few core tenants

01:08

racism always alive and well in this

01:11

world yes yes yes uh the city of Chicago

01:13

must be decimated in every film and

01:15

thirdly history is not what you remember

01:19

when we went to the moon we found

01:21

Transformers when the dinosaurs died

01:23

Transformers killed them and now it

01:25

appears as though King Arthur maybe

01:28

fighting the Vikings during the dark

01:30

cages and he may be in cahoots with the

01:32

Trans attacked by Decepticons where in

01:35

hell is your so-called magician he will

01:37

be here where is your magician if

01:39

there's a wizard in this movie I'm going

01:42

to be so happy cuz I've always said the

01:44

Transformers movies would be better with

01:46

a wizard I you have I remember you've

01:48

gone on record saying this you know what

01:50

none of these people are American why

01:52

should I care Michael B yeah wait a

01:54

minute where's the military is this a

01:57

wizard oh he's a drunk we always H one

02:02

of the other tenants of Michael B one of

02:04

the characters has to be a funny wise

02:05

and drunk and funny fun guy fart Stanley

02:09

Tucci yep I [ __ ] knew it but he's

02:11

already in the movies I can't believe he

02:13

came back honestly Stanley Chi is the

02:17

key to all of

02:18

this and I know that was a joke we made

02:21

over and over last time but it is the

02:23

truth now I think Stanley Tui is the

02:26

most important person in the universe of

02:28

transformers this movie added dragons

02:31

and wizards I think it might be the best

02:34

that's a [ __ ] Hydra what is this is

02:37

the coolest one we've ever

02:39

seen what the

02:42

[ __ ] he casted a a buff on them they've

02:46

got I guess all spark infused armor that

02:49

Merlin made them I don't think they need

02:51

that there's a dragon going [ __ ]

02:52

sickle mode on the battle fell on the

02:55

the battlefield I I thought he was going

02:56

to come and like just do fire breath but

02:58

no he just tripped

03:00

and now they're on fire somehow that one

03:03

guy how' he end up in that

03:07

position I am PR and I'm coming and I

03:12

cannot come to the phone right now so I

03:14

want everybody to remember the last we

03:16

saw of Optimus he was flying into this

03:19

into space like a [ __ ] cool guy he's

03:21

like I'm coming to [ __ ] you up he um did

03:25

freeze entering upon entering low orbit

03:28

he is frozen and

03:30

he [ __ ] up once again most of the

03:32

times when we've seen Optimus flying he

03:35

has [ __ ] up I don't think I think this

03:37

is why he was de relegated to car form

03:40

yeah he's not good at flying except in

03:42

Cuba Castro lets them sun on his

03:46

Beaches come onos there we go yep got to

03:50

have a little bit of racism just a

03:52

little bit there he is God he's back I

03:55

was just saying in another video how

03:56

great of an actor he is and I'm just

03:58

glad I get to see him

04:00

be in these movies over and

04:03

over is that buster Tony yeah Buster

04:08

they always throw these [ __ ] people

04:10

at us you know

04:12

yeah government doesn't want us to go in

04:15

here we don't even need shots of these

04:16

people talking it's that's a crazy

04:19

statement like I Saw the Sign yeah I

04:22

don't need him to say the government

04:24

doesn't want us to go in there we're not

04:27

supposed to be here we're kids man we

04:29

get away with anything we're kids man we

04:31

can get away with anything no child why

04:34

is stuff still on

04:36

fire how soon was this I've always said

04:40

that this felt like this movies felt

04:42

like they're written by 8-year-olds

04:44

there has never been more true until

04:48

now was that already in wide screen no

04:51

no it keeps going in and out of IMAX

04:56

mode

04:58

turtlebot that's Rock slide it's canopy

05:02

canopy could have been anything you know

05:05

it's like an Elden ring Transformer yeah

05:08

he's kind of crazy the grafted one yeah

05:11

he look at him he doesn't need to look

05:14

like that that's not part of his body

05:16

it's like some sort of weird ghillie

05:17

suit of rubble why is he shot in

05:20

IMAX it keeps like flopping back and

05:23

forth I don't know if it's going to come

05:24

through on for you guys but it looks bad

05:28

oh [ __ ] it's Kade Jagger and he's

05:31

throwing a grenade you know what's crazy

05:33

is that we have no context for anything

05:36

that's happening there he is Bumbo be

05:40

he's very clean he's been in every movie

05:43

why is this in nightx I don't know just

05:45

wait this one isn't this one's normal

05:47

what that last shot was this one is

05:50

because the fence we had it had to feel

05:51

like the fence was coming right at us

05:53

mhm it is so distracting why is every

05:57

other shot in wide screen

06:00

all

06:02

right what the hell I put pressure on

06:05

the

06:06

wound how long has he been here I'm I'm

06:09

really I really don't know we have so

06:13

little context for what's happening I

06:15

cannot express enough that we shit's

06:19

just happening we just have to accept it

06:21

I'm like praying for the movie to tell

06:22

me what's going on at some point I'm

06:25

just praying for there to be a lightning

06:26

strike right on your house I love the

06:28

new approach these last few movies have'

06:30

taken which is start with showing us

06:33

something absolutely insane do not

06:35

elaborate for about one to two

06:42

hours bumblebee you [ __ ] suck wait

06:46

this is on purpose it's crazy how he

06:48

never does this before or since like

06:51

after this point where in the

06:53

Transformers Bible is it like oh yes

06:55

they have like complete control over all

06:57

the limbs like we have been shown that

06:59

when they lose their limbs they are dead

07:01

yeah when their head comes off they are

07:04

dead it's him who white

07:08

guy he's been in the other movies we

07:10

haven't seen him in a

07:12

few oh it's the dwarf the DWF is still

07:14

alive I'm so shocked usually we do not

07:17

see the side character Transformers ever

07:19

again they usually just die they either

07:21

die off screen or we just do not see

07:23

them I've never seen one like it General

07:26

hey this guy hey he's here too yeah this

07:28

is bringing back all of our f favorite

07:30

characters Lord

07:32

Megatron oh yeah he got

07:35

resurrected we must have it what are you

07:38

doing are you the one who's been setting

07:40

these

07:45

fires There He Go Optimus [ __ ]

07:50

sucks what has happened to my world what

07:54

do you think it was in good shape yeah I

07:56

thought we've established you know what

07:58

happened to cyber

08:00

you left for a reason and now Cortana is

08:04

here okay okay all right Diablo I was

08:09

going to say like we we had our stranger

08:12

things now we're enjoying some good old

08:15

Doom World of Warcraft Doom Diablo

08:18

you're going to fix it or the race of

08:21

Transformers dies forever I love that

08:25

they are canonically called Transformers

08:28

yes they're not called like chutar or

08:31

anything no they are just called the

08:35

Transformers vom vites yeah like do

08:40

something else you know yeah there he is

08:44

I'm here I'm the

08:46

N they paid me so much [ __ ]

08:50

money I wonder if we're going to have a

08:52

woman to objectify in this

08:56

movie she's not a good driver

09:00

I'm sure that'll play in later well I

09:02

just I just told you we got to have a

09:04

woman who's bad at stuff and and foolish

09:07

our

09:09

Dragon just a medieval catapult this is

09:12

a crazy historical painting by the way

09:15

yeah it looks like it looks like Lord of

09:17

the Rings concept art yeah pretty sure

09:19

it's not real you know what to do don't

09:25

you man how much of his career is just

09:27

talking to nothing oh oh it's a good

09:30

it's an easy life it's easy life I mean

09:32

since the beginning you know they put

09:33

him in a [ __ ] glass box and insid of

09:36

the Lambs and they have talk to one

09:38

person probably the the the one actor in

09:41

the world who just gets to do the least

09:44

amount of work he at army at most is

09:48

talking to one

09:50

person I think we've cracked the code on

09:53

him the racist Samurai is still here is

09:56

he still yellow he's still yellow it's

09:59

the pirate I'm glad we still have our

10:02

funny character a flying machine that's

10:04

the least surpris why would a

10:05

Transformer need a

10:08

vehicle this is so

10:11

stupid I love the [ __ ] Transformers

10:14

robe the coat the long coat it's so cool

10:18

if I was a Transformer I want I want a

10:20

[ __ ] clo it is [ __ ] cool rimlock

10:23

is still

10:24

here I'm so used to them getting rid of

10:28

everything that they used in the last

10:29

movie who is that yeah wait who is this

10:33

that's the dwarf no he's a gnome what I

10:36

found in Buffalo star screams head

10:38

ladies and gentlemen I got what's that

10:41

voice actor it's a very familiar voice

10:43

that's Steve

10:45

BMI it

10:46

is it like it just like activated my

10:50

brain I'm like I know who this is what

10:53

car brand is Japanese guy he's a

10:55

Mercedes okay famously Japanese car

10:58

brand going to say

11:00

it's either really racist or not and I

11:02

don't know which one would be more

11:05

racist oh thank God ah thank you lock

11:09

put that in GIF format for me please

11:12

yeah just uh get that right in the

11:13

middle of the shot beer me little

11:16

dinosaur my favorite thing about these

11:18

movies about these Michael Bay movies is

11:21

every movie puts him on an arc where he

11:23

ends up in a better place by the end of

11:25

the movie but the beginning of every

11:28

movie has to have him

11:30

in the worst possible low it happened

11:32

with Sam Whit Wiki he would always end

11:34

the movie in a place emotionally at a

11:37

high place and then the next movie would

11:38

establish no his life is still sucks wor

11:42

the thing is I think it's just that

11:44

whoever writes these movies is incapable

11:48

of not writing a loser our main

11:50

character is always a [ __ ] loser i'

11:54

cutter eyes the artery and re channel

11:56

the central flow into the the

11:57

Whatchamacallit the the tube with said

11:59

do hickey thing yeah not bad she's

12:03

techno savvy just like him he's she's

12:06

everything he wanted his daughter to be

12:08

you see that's why his daughter is not

12:10

in the movie A lot of this movie is not

12:12

taking place in good old America I just

12:14

got to say yeah what is all this stuff I

12:17

want to see the military oh my

12:20

God he is not there he is so far away

12:24

from there he might as well be in a real

12:26

desert oh my God that's how far from the

12:28

studio most obvious green screen I've

12:31

ever seen like this right here Michael

12:34

Bay ass shot yeah that that's a desktop

12:37

right right there [ __ ] sun in the

12:40

background look at this Michael B ass

12:44

shot let's get more characters please

12:46

yeah we need more characters yeah it it

12:48

it's weird that we have a blend of

12:52

reoccurring characters that I never

12:54

expected to see again like this is the

12:56

[ __ ] guy that said surrender or you

12:58

will be killed that's the oldest joke

13:01

we've had in this series and he's back

13:04

but also we need more humans somehow

13:07

because everybody's only agreed to be in

13:08

this movie for a total of 15 minutes K

13:11

right now oh no all right so we have

13:15

moved up from Doom and Destiny and now

13:18

we are in Quon Tarantino

13:21

Borderlands

13:23

dreadbot dreadbot these are getting

13:26

Dumber by the second what is this some

13:28

kind of suicide Squad Nitro Zeus nitus

13:33

that is not his

13:35

name you got John deio for two different

13:39

characters can't be can't be it can't be

13:42

it can't be I'm checking but it can't

13:44

[Music]

13:47

be what do you really want Megatron what

13:50

anyone wants human to go home do we

13:55

trust Megatron like if he actually wants

13:57

to go home very different do we trust

14:02

Megatron it's venom it's venom from GI

14:05

Joe we didn't have that much military

14:06

prop again in the last one these shots

14:08

right here this is core Transformers for

14:10

me just Dusty [ __ ] Dragon Ball

14:13

Wasteland but with cars it's crazy to me

14:16

that it might be the case that bumblebee

14:19

can speak he simply chooses not to cuz I

14:21

know in bumblebee they establish why

14:23

he's like that but across these movies

14:26

sometimes he just talks like no no like

14:29

radio or movies or yeah was it the last

14:31

one where he just like stra the first

14:32

one the world has gotten really shitty

14:36

like they need to play that up we are

14:38

entering well I mean they kind of are

14:39

trying to at this one they are saying

14:41

like oh you know my town is decimated my

14:43

family's dead yet I still love those

14:47

Transformers I feel like that character

14:49

should really hate Transformers I

14:51

shouldn't feel like the time that's

14:53

passed between every movie is like a

14:54

decade I think the Transformers have

14:57

overall given our world a net

15:00

negative in Impact it's it's at the

15:04

point now where I don't think the

15:06

military is wrong for Banning robots

15:09

from the world every movie they destroy

15:13

countless cities they kill thousands of

15:17

people I think I'm anti- Transformer

15:21

that's transphobic yeah you're

15:24

right you're absolutely right screaming

15:27

at gun get those vile beam I'm on

15:30

him get those

15:32

villains they want to stop us from going

15:35

home Optimist can just straight up fly

15:38

home yeah where is Optimus [ __ ] he

15:40

flew home why don't they just do

15:44

that why the green

15:47

blood damn I don't know which one that

15:49

was but he's

15:52

dead dropped his gun what's your gun

15:54

going to do giant robots what's yeah but

15:56

why do you drop in the middle of the

15:57

road what's an M4 going to do other it

15:59

to Mark wber I think that the M4 could

16:02

definitely take this thing

16:03

out never mind he's

16:06

dead hope you didn't get too attached I

16:08

was about to say get him out of the

16:09

movie I really wish I had said

16:12

it my Lord that did not look good why

16:15

does it look so bad sometimes you have a

16:17

fly Cuba airplanes are from the 1940s so

16:20

look up at the script again cyber I

16:23

found it yep yeah he's look again he's

16:25

read the script he's read the script

16:27

zoom in further uh what that who's

16:30

editing this [ __ ] shot on iPhone why is

16:34

it blind screen some shots and not wide

16:37

screw the other shots make it make

16:39

[ __ ] sense what is happening this

16:42

isn't even funny for you guys yeah if I

16:46

I'm making fun of the actual film making

16:48

it's not funny if my copy of the [ __ ]

16:50

movie that I'm going edit this on

16:51

doesn't have these like weird changes in

16:56

uh in aspect ratio we're going to have

16:58

to reshoot the whole thing yeah it's

16:59

it's not going to come through so just

17:01

know that every other shot changes the

17:04

aspect ratio for some

17:07

reason Hogwarts joke come in now this is

17:11

the most British like this is Michael B

17:14

weird British Whimsy is like I think I

17:17

know everything that I need to know

17:18

about the UK yeah she's going to be

17:20

whisked away to a magical

17:23

land first she receives a letter saying

17:25

you've been invited and her life was

17:28

Chang changed

17:30

forever oh beautiful I'm really curious

17:33

I'm really curious to see if he's onet

17:35

with these people I really need to know

17:38

I'm so fascinated by this like I really

17:41

I am so fixated on analyzing if he's in

17:45

this movie or not again why is the

17:48

aspect ratio changing between shots I'm

17:50

going to rip my own head off it's

17:51

driving me crazy it's making me remember

17:53

I'm watching a movie I'm not immersed at

17:55

all did they only have two cameras they

17:57

only have two cameras and they didn't

17:58

change like the the settings on any of

18:00

them what's happening I don't know I

18:03

don't know it's driving me [ __ ] crazy

18:05

I am going to lose my [ __ ] mind shall

18:07

I take his head off Madam tempting but

18:09

um was he did he say something UNC to

18:11

her I mean I have to imagine he probably

18:13

got the time for tea wrong oh yeah yeah

18:16

he probably called them cookies instead

18:17

of

18:19

biscuits he probably said french

18:23

fries that's the watch that killed

18:25

Hitler don't screw with it that's the

18:27

watch that killed hit

18:29

the [ __ ] how long has the [ __ ] have the

18:32

Transformers been what the [ __ ] hold on

18:35

you're going too fast through these when

18:37

earlier I need to look at these I need

18:39

to know har tman did the Transformers

18:42

build the underground [ __ ] railroad

18:43

like I need to know what's going on

18:45

right now what is happening this is too

18:47

slow down s Wiki your father was a

18:52

member your father was a member of the

18:54

wit wikin was Sam Whit Wiki related to

18:57

Merlin related to this lady if Merlin is

19:01

the ancestor of the other Stanley Tucci

19:03

character that means he's also related

19:05

to Sam hold on hold on hold on what's

19:09

Happening Here why can't hold on hold on

19:12

why what is going on

19:14

now we in World War II they just said

19:18

that bumblebee helped take out

19:22

Hitler I feel like happening I feel like

19:25

this would have come up a lot sooner

19:29

B yeah he's so nice behind the lines

19:32

during the war they called him many

19:33

things nice was never one of

19:39

them no no no no no no because I've seen

19:43

bumblebee I've seen the

19:45

movie and this is not canon when this

19:48

movie ends in complete destruction of

19:50

the known universe then you'll

19:53

understand [ __ ] JoJo's Bizarre

19:55

Adventure reset cuz that's what's going

19:57

to have to happen right now it cannot be

20:00

Canon that this happened end of bay

20:05

Evangelion I just this really makes

20:07

anthropologists and historians look like

20:08

[ __ ] idiots that they never figured

20:10

this [ __ ] out yeah you know yeah no what

20:13

what I'm getting from all this is that

20:15

humans were never really in control of

20:16

anything humans were never paying

20:17

attention humans never even got anything

20:20

right now Legend held that one last

20:23

night would someday be chosen the

20:25

struggle he is the last night I thought

20:27

the last night would be Optimus Prime

20:30

but no it is Cade the legend last night

20:35

Jager It's like Star Wars the the

20:38

title's meant to throw you off why is he

20:40

the chosen one qualities of a knight

20:42

purity of heart Valor honor virtue

20:45

Integrity I have those he American I we

20:49

we have met we've known this

20:50

man he has none of these qualities he is

20:54

not pure of heart he has rage he has a

20:57

lot of sins actually are Merlin's Last

20:59

Descendant here on Earth and as such you

21:02

are our last hope Merlin's Last

21:04

Descendant she's the last night wait

21:06

wait wait so Sam Whit Wiki is the

21:10

descendant of Merlin where is Sam right

21:14

now is he dead Sam is just like in a

21:16

[ __ ] hole some somewhere he doesn't

21:19

matter

21:21

anymore what is going on up there you

21:24

checking behind pictures just rip it rip

21:26

it apart what is wrong with with this

21:29

guy I thought he was pure of heart

21:31

patient

21:32

Noble finds a room start smashing [ __ ]

21:36

enough just tell me now St up

21:42

yourselves he's having fun I appreciate

21:45

that like all the actors are just told

21:47

you know what everybody in the series is

21:49

a funny guy so just do whatever you want

21:52

as Unicron one day his horns will rise

21:55

to fight the Mad goddess

21:57

quintessa she will

21:59

Ender what I don't I don't know I don't

22:03

know I don't know why I don't know I

22:06

don't know why he did

22:08

[Music]

22:10

that move [ __ ] get out of my way move

22:13

[ __ ] get out of my way oh Lord I

22:16

understand the plot is we need to find

22:18

Merlin's

22:19

staff yeah I just don't know why there

22:22

had to be so many different little

22:23

moving parts to do that and this museum

22:26

is closed for eternity all you boys and

22:29

girls off the sub now off the sub now

22:33

he's having a

22:34

blast I do like this character Hopkins

22:37

is still doing the goofy wacky Michael

22:40

bake character but the fact that it's

22:42

him makes it

22:44

[Music]

22:45

funnier what oh he's going to make food

22:49

he beat the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of those

22:51

fish why why is it Sushi or is he

22:54

cooking it you shouldn't you shouldn't

22:56

cook down here with your limited oxygen

22:59

Boom the candles shouldn't even be going

23:02

no absolutely not wh wickens with

23:06

wickens yes but um they all died out not

23:10

all of them not yet they all died

23:14

out does that imply that Sam is

23:17

[Music]

23:22

Dead what is all the Blue glowy Water

23:27

this is just undiscovered

23:29

great every inch of the earth that we've

23:32

seen in this universe has had a dead

23:34

Transformer in it why are you here I

23:37

don't understand what purpose you're

23:38

serving they want the Transformers off

23:40

the planet they made to deal with

23:42

Megatron Megatron wants the staff and

23:44

he's claims he'll go home if he gets the

23:46

staff the military is stupid enough to

23:48

[ __ ] believe Megatron the man who did

23:50

blow up Chicago twice they're accepting

23:53

him they're they're taking him at his

23:54

word they're going to help him attack

23:56

Kade Jagger possibly kill kill him so

23:59

that they can leave the planet cuzz the

24:00

military wants the robots gone K Jagger

24:03

knows that it is his Destiny as the last

24:06

night to acquire Merlin's staff and save

24:10

the

24:11

world that's the

24:14

lore

24:16

[Laughter]

24:19

okay why wait what is that oh hold on

24:23

the this would [ __ ] up our planet

24:25

completely oh for sure you can't just

24:28

break the surface of the

24:30

Moon if as if we didn't have enough

24:32

going on uh now we have more plot the

24:35

moon is going to crash into the

24:37

Earth and and all of our heroes again

24:40

are in the ocean y it looks like they're

24:43

in Skull Island like the pressure the

24:45

hollow Earth yeah they

24:47

to fire yeah why is there's so much

24:52

[ __ ] fire for some reason the last

24:55

place I'd expect to see R random little

24:58

fires is underwater in a place that no

25:00

one's been in for years what's really

25:03

shocking is we're about 2 hours in very

25:07

very little Optimus Prime in the final

25:09

Transformers movie what if Uncharted and

25:12

Tomb Raider work together to save the

25:16

human race from Megatron it basically is

25:19

that it basically is Nathan Drake and

25:22

Lura Croft in an ancient cybertronian

25:26

ruin finding the corpse of

25:30

Merlin played by Stanley Tucci guys

25:34

meters are

25:35

freaking I got thermals everywhere it's

25:38

like somebody's setting a lot of

25:41

fires no Merlin what purpose are you

25:45

serving I'm here to protect this I'm

25:48

here to protect things after they're

25:52

taken oh it's because she's it's because

25:55

she's a

25:57

Wiccan

26:00

it is

26:02

found Sam Whit Wiki's cousins daughter's

26:06

roommate it is written that the newest

26:08

actress SL love interest will have the

26:11

power to shape the world except when the

26:15

next movie comes out everything will be

26:17

worse

26:18

again oh

26:21

[ __ ] oh no Nemesis Prime no this isn't

26:26

you prime give me the staff

26:30

human I will kill you he said his

26:33

catchphrase I'll kill you and I love

26:36

that that's supposed to be evil Optimus

26:38

says that he has said that in every

26:40

movie all

26:45

right into my shirt pocket his little

26:49

pocket what part of the truck is that

26:52

it's his cup

26:54

holder who we're fighting what is h

26:57

bumblebee fighting this should have been

26:58

a more epic

27:00

moment this should be given more

27:06

weight can we see the robots fighting

27:08

thank you I appreciate it I'm glad the

27:11

movie heard can you say that more often

27:13

cuz I think it listens to

27:14

you this doesn't even look good look at

27:17

oh my God it looks bad it looks bad I am

27:22

bumblebee your oldest friend he can

27:26

[ __ ] talk bumble bee your

27:30

voice bumblebee I have not heard it

27:34

since Cybertron fell not true uh

27:37

literally not true bumblebee I have not

27:40

heard your voice since the first movie

27:43

now you will watch Earth

27:53

die Warhammer [ __ ] going on here what he

27:56

do oh my God me you chose the wrong side

28:01

The Guardian Knights are going to kill

28:05

[Music]

28:08

me the funniest line he's ever said I'm

28:12

going to attack you with my

28:13

sword no just like King Arthur would

28:17

have wanted he has [ __ ]

28:22

Excalibur Mark Walberg

28:26

Excalibur this movie is hilarious they

28:29

just don't make him like this

28:36

anymore I love this what do you think

28:38

those guys were talking about holy [ __ ]

28:40

you see that down there I love this

28:42

[ __ ]

28:43

movie The World Is Dead by the way like

28:45

oh Jesus yeah it's a a little too late

28:47

the world is dead yeah it's already

28:49

colliding is that the moon no okay

28:51

that's us the the the planet's

28:54

destroyed I love here he's like oh

28:57

that's him he walked all the way here

28:59

damn that looks [ __ ] up L trust me

29:02

that's all right right there right

29:05

there jeez Lois I'm telling you

29:08

[Laughter]

29:12

Ted what then we get a shot of Anthony

29:15

Hopkins looking at a [ __ ] a post like

29:18

apocalyptic robot all right Anthony look

29:20

up and act like there were a bunch of

29:21

birds going

29:23

crazy what's he going to

29:25

do he they can't they can't sense him he

29:28

doesn't know what's going

29:34

on what the [ __ ] no way that the Hopkins

29:37

is down there he I caught in the

29:41

crossfire you wretched human

29:46

no

29:48

no he didn't even know what

29:51

happened he wasn't even looking he was

29:55

he was

29:56

lost he got [ __ ] nobody even knows he

30:00

was there why does I they're not even

30:02

going to know to look for him why does

30:04

he love killing people like this that

30:06

was the funniest that was up there with

30:08

TJ Miller and how funny that death

30:11

was I had

30:15

a I had my moment you didn't do anything

30:19

you kind of got shot in the street like

30:21

a

30:22

dog Megatron [ __ ] you up dude

30:27

strangely ceremonious death for this guy

30:29

it really felt like Michael B was like I

30:31

can't afford to keep him on set

30:34

anymore going to crush us get that ship

30:37

clear the crush zone now Crush Zone yeah

30:41

the crush Zone that's up there on the

30:43

the 8-year-old script that really

30:46

doesn't look good no it looks like

30:49

Michael baay is [ __ ] up my my window

30:51

screen saver oh my God now this is cool

30:54

looking this is [ __ ] this is so [ __ ]

30:57

they are literally just going to rake

30:58

the planet what do you expect to

31:02

do you guys still just have normal guns

31:06

have your guns ever killed a Transformer

31:09

ever been down with a

31:12

h imagine that just blowing your ears

31:15

out oh my God the last thing you hear is

31:18

get down with the

31:21

Hound you're death for the rest of your

31:23

life infernicus

31:26

transformed

31:30

these are getting stupider it's been a

31:32

joke since the first movie like The Dumb

31:34

Transformers names yeah and I love that

31:36

it's never it's never

31:38

changed did you forget who I am you

31:43

forgot who you are the [ __ ] anime

31:44

pose with the sword

31:47

S I want to see a cooler fight yeah I

31:50

want to see a cooler fight than that but

31:52

that's okay I'll take it I am Optimus

31:54

Prime and I'm

31:56

coming

31:58

what are you doing are they going to

31:59

kiss in for the

32:01

explosion oh yeah

32:04

[Music]

32:06

uh-huh oh my God Optimus Optimus has

32:10

this weird tactic in these movies where

32:11

if he has to save someone he tackles the

32:14

debris and it explodes into a million

32:16

pieces whatever the problem is he forces

32:18

his body into it yes you were brothers

32:21

once

32:23

once I am Optimus pride and I'm coming

32:26

oh my God

32:28

that was okay yeah you got to find a

32:29

different way to kill him every time

32:31

that's cool my

32:36

hand this is so dumb so

32:39

long so

32:46

stupid that was it sting like a

32:51

bee zoom in on my arm for that shot

32:54

because I got goosebumps from how cringy

32:57

it was

32:58

I think I prefer bumblebee doesn't

33:03

talk hey a truck this is so dumb I sure

33:08

miss seeing the truck just run you're

33:10

faster than the truck apparently yeah

33:12

there's a planet being dropped on Earth

33:14

right now doesn't matter if it's not

33:16

going to blow us up anymore it probably

33:18

still would it's still up there but now

33:22

our worlds are joined as one I don't

33:25

think that's a good thing so now you

33:27

can't kick us out this is a really weird

33:29

ending yeah Cybertron is now attached to

33:32

Earth so you don't have a choice we live

33:35

here now there is more to this planet

33:39

than meets the eye oh he said the thing

33:42

I am Optimus Prime and I'm going so

33:46

there's just an

33:47

umbilicus yes that's fine I I'm sure

33:51

that won't matter that won't lead to any

33:54

conflict well that

33:56

was fascinating

33:58

it's exhausting while this journey is

34:01

over and Michael Bay is gone we still

34:04

have more Transformers movies so our

34:07

work will never

34:24

[Music]

34:26

end

34:37

[Music]

34:49

transform

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