Jon Stewart on Israel - Palestine | The Daily Show

The Daily Show
26 Feb 202413:14

Summary

TLDRIn this episode of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart tackles the complex and sensitive issue of Israel-Palestine relations, humorously navigating through controversial plans, political positions, and the global response to the conflict. He critiques the effectiveness of military solutions, the international community's inability to agree on meaningful action, and proposes humorous yet thought-provoking solutions for peace. Stewart's sharp wit underscores the absurdity of the ongoing violence and the lack of substantial progress towards peace, urging for a realistic acknowledgment of the situation and collaborative action towards a resolution.

Takeaways

  • 🗣️ Jon Stewart is hosting The Daily Show and addressing the ongoing Israel-Palestine conflict in this episode.
  • 😬 The conflict has been brutal with a violent bombing campaign and no end in sight despite proposals like Netanyahu's plan for demilitarizing Gaza.
  • 🤯 Stewart criticizes Netanyahu's plan as a military siege that could breed more extremism rather than resolve the conflict.
  • 🌍 The United Nations and global powers like Russia, China, and Arab nations have failed to stop the violence or facilitate a ceasefire.
  • 🕊️ Stewart satirically suggests three potential solutions: a Maine retreat for Israeli and Palestinian teens, asking God for the answer, and a NATO-style security arrangement between Israel, Palestine, and Arab countries.
  • 💸 He criticizes Saudi Arabia for providing relatively little financial aid to Palestinians despite claims that it's their top priority.
  • ☠️ He mocks the idea of a violent apocalyptic battle in the region based on some religious interpretations.
  • 🚫 The ongoing cycle of provocation and retribution is predicated on the unrealistic idea that one side will simply go away.
  • ✌️ For peace, Stewart argues the reality is that both a safe Israel and Palestine must be recognized and facilitated.
  • ☁️ The alternative, he jokes, is that the rapture happens and everyone just disappears, leaving the conflict unresolved.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic of Jon Stewart's third episode?

    -The main topic of Jon Stewart's third episode is the Israel-Palestine conflict.

  • How does Jon Stewart describe Benjamin Netanyahu's plan for peace?

    -Jon Stewart describes Benjamin Netanyahu's plan for peace as a military siege, involving the complete demilitarization of Gaza and Israel taking over security and controlling entry and exit points to Gaza.

  • What concerns does Jon Stewart raise about the approach to eliminating Hamas?

    -Jon Stewart raises concerns that destroying all of Gaza to eliminate Hamas could potentially create more factions similar to Hamas, questioning the effectiveness of a military solution to end the cycle of violence.

  • What is the United States' position on the Israel-Palestine conflict according to Jon Stewart?

    -According to Jon Stewart, the United States is urging Israel to be more cautious and careful with its military actions to minimize civilian harm, indicating a need for Israel to protect innocent civilians more effectively.

  • What does Jon Stewart suggest about the UN's effectiveness in resolving the conflict?

    -Jon Stewart suggests that the UN is ineffective in resolving the conflict, highlighting the failure of resolutions calling for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza and criticizing the veto power of countries like Russia and China.

  • How does Jon Stewart critique the financial support provided by Saudi Arabia to the Palestinians?

    -Jon Stewart criticizes the amount of financial support provided by Saudi Arabia to the Palestinians as insufficient, comparing it humorously to the same amount given to golfer Phil Mickelson, to underscore the disparity in support.

  • What potential solution involving a small religious group does Jon Stewart mention?

    -Jon Stewart mentions a humorous potential solution involving a small religious group, initially referring to it as a carpenter's union from Bethlehem, which turns out to be a reference to a religious prophecy about the battle of Armageddon.

  • What are Jon Stewart's proposed solutions for peace in the region?

    -Jon Stewart's proposed solutions include a program called Seeds of Peace for Israeli and Palestinian teens, asking God to clarify the rightful claim to the land, and forming a demilitarized zone guaranteed by Arab countries through a Middle East Treaty Organization (METO).

  • How does Jon Stewart address the cycle of provocation and retribution?

    -Jon Stewart addresses the cycle of provocation and retribution by emphasizing the need to recognize that neither group will go away and that both a safe and free Israel and Palestine require acknowledging this reality for any progress.

  • What is Jon Stewart's final take on the alternative to his proposed solutions?

    -Jon Stewart's final take on the alternative to his proposed solutions is a humorous reference to the biblical concept of the rapture, suggesting that without a viable solution, divine intervention might be the only remaining outcome.

Outlines

00:00

😅 Satirical Take on Controversial Topics

In this opening segment, Jon Stewart humorously introduces the controversial topic of Israel and Palestine, mocking the unexpected choice of topic for a 'light' episode. He satirizes the situation by pretending to be surprised at the script written on the teleprompter, which leads into a new segment discussing the ongoing conflict. Stewart critiques the Israeli peace plan proposed by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, which includes the complete demilitarization of Gaza and control over its entry and exit points, questioning the effectiveness of a military solution and highlighting the impossibility of eliminating an idea, like Hamas, through violence. He also comments on the U.S. stance, suggesting it offers superficial advice to Israel while providing the weapons used in the conflict, and humorously compares this to a drug dealer advising moderation.

05:00

🌍 International Response and Hypocrisy

Jon Stewart points out the seeming tenability of Israeli and Hamas positions, with neither side offering a diplomatic path forward. He criticizes the ineffective international response, including the failure of UN resolutions due to vetoes and opposition from major powers, highlighting the absurdity of the UN's existence if it cannot act effectively. Stewart also touches on the inadequate support from Arab nations to the Palestinian cause, contrasting their public support with their minimal financial contributions and lack of refugee acceptance. The segment concludes with a satirical look at religious predictions for the region, mocking the apocalyptic vision offered by some as a 'solution'. Stewart's critique extends to all parties involved - Israel, Hamas, the United States, the United Nations, and Arab countries - for their roles in perpetuating the conflict and failing to protect civilians.

10:02

🕊️ Imaginative Solutions for Peace

In the final segment, Jon Stewart humorously proposes three 'solutions' for peace in the Middle East. The first suggestion involves a program called Seeds of Peace, where Israeli and Palestinian teens engage in peaceful activities, which he acknowledges is not scalable. The second 'solution' jests at consulting God directly for an answer, poking fun at the religious undertones of the conflict. The third, and more serious proposal, calls for an immediate ceasefire, the release of hostages, and the formation of a demilitarized zone guaranteed by neighboring Arab countries to establish security for both Israel and a free Palestinian state. Stewart sarcastically suggests this plan, dubbed the Middle East Treaty Organization (METO), as a feasible alternative to the current cycle of violence, concluding with a satirical note on the rapture as the only real end to the conflict.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Israel-Palestine conflict

The Israel-Palestine conflict is a long-standing geopolitical issue at the heart of the Middle Eastern conflict, involving disputes over territory, sovereignty, and national identity between Israelis and Palestinians. In the script, this conflict is the central theme, with references to the ongoing violence, peace efforts, and international responses to the crisis.

💡Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart is a comedian and former host of The Daily Show, known for his satirical and critical commentary on current events and politics. In the script, he serves as the narrator and main voice, providing insights, criticisms, and humor to discuss the serious topic of the Israel-Palestine conflict.

💡War crimes

War crimes refer to serious violations of the laws and customs of war, which include intentionally targeting civilians, using excessive force, and committing acts of violence that do not contribute to a military objective. In the script, war crimes are mentioned in the context of both Israel and Russia's actions, highlighting the severity of the conflict and the international concerns regarding human rights violations.

💡Demilitarization

Demilitarization refers to the process of reducing or eliminating a country's military forces and capabilities. In the script, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's peace plan includes the demilitarization of Gaza, which is critically assessed by Jon Stewart as more of a siege than a path to peace.

💡United Nations

The United Nations (UN) is an international organization aimed at facilitating cooperation in international law, security, economic development, and social equity. The script mentions the UN in the context of failed resolutions and vetoes related to the Israel-Palestine conflict, illustrating the challenges of international diplomacy in addressing the crisis.

💡Ceasefire

A ceasefire is a temporary stoppage of a war or conflict, where all parties agree to suspend aggressive actions. The script references multiple failed attempts at establishing a ceasefire in Gaza, underscoring the difficulty of achieving peace and the ongoing nature of the conflict.

💡Accountability

Accountability in this context refers to the responsibility of parties involved in the conflict to answer for their actions, particularly concerning war crimes and violations of international law. The script emphasizes the need for accountability to prevent further atrocities and ensure justice for victims.

💡Seeds of Peace

Seeds of Peace is an organization mentioned in the script that aims to foster dialogue and understanding among young people from different conflict regions, including Israelis and Palestinians. The script highlights this initiative as a hopeful, albeit small-scale, effort to build peace from the ground up through youth engagement.

💡Armageddon

Armageddon refers to a prophesied location of a gathering of armies for a battle during the end times, as described in the Bible. In the script, it is used metaphorically to describe the potential catastrophic outcome of the Israel-Palestine conflict if a peaceful resolution is not achieved.

💡NATO-like arrangement

A NATO-like arrangement refers to a defense pact where member countries agree to mutual defense in response to an attack by any external party. In the script, Jon Stewart proposes a similar arrangement involving Middle Eastern countries to ensure security for both Israel and a free Palestinian state, indicating a potential strategy for peace in the region.

Highlights

Jon Stewart hosts the third episode of The Daily Show, discussing the controversial topics of Israel and Palestine.

Stewart criticizes both the Israeli and Palestinian strategies and suggests the need for accountability for war crimes.

The episode includes satirical commentary on the United Nations' inability to pass resolutions for peace.

Stewart highlights the inadequate international support for Palestine, comparing it humorously to funding for golfer Phil Mickelson.

A satirical look at the potential apocalyptic resolution of the conflict, referencing religious prophecies.

The show proposes creative, albeit humorous, solutions for peace, including a camp in Maine and divine intervention.

Stewart emphasizes the perpetual cycle of violence and the necessity of a forward-looking approach to peace.

The segment pokes fun at the ineffective global diplomacy and suggests a Middle East Treaty Organization (METO) for peace.

The show draws attention to the disparity in global reactions to conflicts, depending on the region and actors involved.

Stewart criticizes the U.S. role in supplying arms while advising caution, using irony to underline the contradiction.

The episode mocks the concept of bombing as a solution to ideological conflicts, questioning its effectiveness.

Stewart's commentary suggests the absurdity of expecting military solutions to yield peace in the region.

The program humorously addresses the futility of United Nations' resolutions amidst vetoes and political gamesmanship.

Stewart highlights the lack of proportionate humanitarian aid to Palestinians compared to other beneficiaries.

The Daily Show uses satire to underscore the complexity and deep-rooted nature of the Israel-Palestine conflict.

Stewart proposes an immediate, unconditional peace plan involving a demilitarized zone and international security guarantees.

Transcripts

00:00

Welcome to The Daily Show.

00:01

I am your host, Jon Stewart.

00:02

This is number three.

00:06

The third episode.

00:07

This is my third episode.

00:08

The first two, very controversial.

00:10

A lot of discourse around it.

00:12

A lot of carping back and forth.

00:14

A lot of anger.

00:15

A lot of commentary.

00:17

Tonight, I'm done with it.

00:21

Tonight is perhaps an amuse-bouche, a trifle.

00:25

Something light.

00:26

Tonight, we discuss Israel, Palestine.

00:30

[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

00:36

Are we?

00:38

Who wrote this?

00:41

Well, I legally have to read what's in the prompter,

00:44

so here we go.

00:50

We're going to take a look in our new

00:52

and probably never-ending segment.

00:55

[MUSIC PLAYING]

01:00

Yes!

01:02

Somehow, the audience knew, but tonight

01:06

we discuss Israel, Palestine.

01:12

[HIGH SPEED DISCLAIMER]

01:27

[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

01:32

Well, folks, this is an awful situation.

01:35

We're coming up on five months of a brutal bombing campaign

01:38

brought on by a horrific massacre and hostage-taking,

01:42

and we seem no closer to ending anything

01:45

but the reigns of a couple of Ivy League presidents.

01:49

Well, this weekend, Israeli Prime

01:52

Minister Benjamin Netanyahu finally

01:54

laid out his plan for peace.

01:57

Benjamin Netanyahu is calling for complete demilitarization

02:01

of Gaza, as well as Israel taking

02:03

over security and controlling entry and exit points to Gaza.

02:10

So your peace plan is a siege, a military siege.

02:17

You really think a military solution ends this cycle?

02:21

Victory is within reach, and you can't have victory

02:23

until you eliminate Hamas.

02:26

But, oh, OK.

02:29

But your plan to eliminate Hamas

02:32

by destroying all of Gaza, uh, doesn't

02:37

that just make more Hamases?

02:41

Is that the plural of Hamas?

02:46

Hamasi?

02:48

I mean, it's an idea.

02:50

Palestinian liberation is an idea.

02:51

Unless you have a bomb that kills ideas.

02:54

Do you have a bomb that kills ideas?

02:57

I mean, how long would it even take to bomb the shit out

03:00

of an idea?

03:02

The intense phase of the fighting

03:04

is weeks away from completion.

03:06

Not months, weeks away from completion.

03:09

Oh, dear God.

03:12

If you insist on this plan, if you think that ends Hamas,

03:17

I believe we in the United States

03:19

have a banner you can use.

03:22

It's a little wind-damaged, but equally delusional.

03:28

Look, the United States is Israel's closest ally.

03:33

Israel's big brother in the fraternity of nations.

03:36

Israel's work emergency contact.

03:42

Maybe it's time for the US to give

03:45

Israel some tough moral love.

03:49

This is shameful.

03:50

There has to be accountability for these war crimes.

03:52

No targeting civilians in war.

03:55

Stop the war crimes and the atrocities and end

03:58

the war today.

04:00

It could happen right now.

04:01

Right now!

04:03

Thank you.

04:04

These atrocities must be--

04:07

[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

04:11

I'm sorry, I'm being told the administration was talking

04:13

about Russia bombing Ukraine.

04:14

I apologize.

04:16

Also, a war crime.

04:18

But I'm sure they're giving equally

04:20

stern advice to Israel.

04:22

The Biden administration is urging Israel to be much more

04:25

careful, to be more cautious.

04:27

How Israel does this, matters.

04:29

Israel must do more to protect innocent civilians.

04:33

We want to see the government of Israel

04:34

take steps to minimize civilian harm.

04:36

Be more surgical and more precise.

04:38

Be more careful.

04:41

Hey, Israel, take it down a notch.

04:46

Could you please be more careful with your bombing?

04:49

It's good advice.

04:50

But really, could the United States

04:52

have told Israel that when we gave them all the bombs?

04:56

They're our bombs.

04:57

These-- this is like your coke dealer

05:00

coming in with an eight ball and going,

05:02

don't stay up all night.

05:06

Don't, sleep is very important.

05:08

You got to sleep.

05:10

[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

05:11

You don't want to--

05:14

And breakfast is an important part of the day, so.

05:18

Look, the Israeli position doesn't seem so tenable.

05:22

Perhaps I can find some diplomatic leeway

05:25

in the Hamas position.

05:27

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

05:28

Israel is a country that has no place on our land.

05:31

We must remove that country.

05:32

Does that mean the annihilation of Israel?

05:35

Yes, of course.

05:36

I cannot find diplomatic leeway in the Hamas position.

05:45

[BLEEP] Well, this is when we need

05:50

the world, the civilized world of nations

05:53

to come together and stop this madness.

05:57

A resolution calling for an immediate cease fire in Gaza

06:00

has just failed to pass.

06:02

A UN Security Council draft resolution to allow

06:05

aid delivery has been vetoed.

06:07

Russia and China used their veto

06:08

against an American resolution condemning Hamas.

06:11

Immediate cease fire in Gaza has failed.

06:13

Western nations voted against it.

06:15

It was delayed four times this week.

06:18

Draft resolution has not been adopted.

06:22

Why do you even have a [BLEEP] building?

06:27

Why?

06:28

Why do you, we could use that!

06:29

We have a housing crisis.

06:31

Give us back our [BLEEP] building!

06:32

It's just not right.

06:35

[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

06:39

What is-- what is the United Nations even?

06:42

What are you?

06:43

Just a support system for a diverse and pleasing

06:45

food court?

06:46

What are you?

06:52

That cannot be the UN's food court, by the way.

06:55

That is, that is clearly just a mall in Long Island.

07:02

Doesn't anyone care about the suffering of all

07:04

these civilians?

07:05

What about a good neighbor, Saudi Arabia?

07:08

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

07:09

The Palestinian cause is the Arab world's

07:11

most important cause.

07:13

I want to see really a good life for the Palestinians.

07:16

Thank you, Saudi Arabia, thank you.

07:18

And while Saudi Arabia does not accept Palestinian refugees,

07:22

and Egypt doesn't either, for that matter,

07:25

the Saudis are the richest country in the region.

07:27

And they've given, this can't be right,

07:34

on average, about $200 million a year to the Palestinians.

07:38

Jesus!

07:39

Are you [BLEEP] kidding me?

07:40

The Saudis have given just as much money to Phil Mickelson.

07:46

Is that true?

07:48

I assume, I assume to promote the equally important cause

07:55

of the Mickelsonian people.

08:00

So Israel, the United States, the United Nations,

08:03

the Arab nations, no one seems to be

08:05

incentivized to stop the suffering

08:08

of the innocent people in this region.

08:11

And I didn't want to bring this up,

08:12

but there is another player.

08:15

Small religious startup out of Bethlehem.

08:19

I think it might have began as a carpenters union,

08:22

but has gotten big.

08:28

Do they have a plan for the Middle East?

08:30

There, will be the battle of Armageddon.

08:33

Jesus Christ is going to sweep over that battlefield

08:37

and to annihilate that army of 200 million people.

08:42

The blood will flow to the bridle of a horse.

08:53

So, that's the plan for the Prince of Peace?

08:55

Is that so?

08:57

I am not an equestrian expert, but if the blood goes all

09:03

the way to the bridle, that's an enormous amount

09:05

of blood, no?

09:07

Unless, are we talking about the mini horses?

09:10

Because that's still, it's a lot of blood,

09:14

but more manageable.

09:17

And adorable.

09:21

Look, I think--

09:23

[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

09:26

--I think we have to get real here.

09:28

The status quo cycle of provocation and retribution

09:32

is predicated on some idea that one of these groups

09:36

is going to go away.

09:38

And they are not.

09:40

If we want a safe and free Israel,

09:42

and a safe and free Palestine, we have

09:45

to recognize that reality.

09:46

And I know that there is a twisted and much

09:49

contested history in the region that

09:50

has brought us to this point.

09:52

But we are at this point.

09:55

And anything we do from here has to look forward.

09:58

So tonight, lucky you, I'm going

10:02

to do that with not one, not two,

10:05

but three solutions for peace.

10:11

Number one.

10:13

Along the shores of pleasant lake in Maine,

10:15

95 Israeli and Palestinian teens

10:18

are trading rockets for rackets.

10:20

The goal of Seeds of Peace is to open these young minds.

10:32

OK, that one hasn't been scaled up yet.

10:37

And may take longer than we have.

10:40

Unless we just bring the whole [BLEEP] region to Maine.

10:44

How fast can we make 14 million rackets?

10:49

But that's just my opening offer.

10:50

That was just one piece plan, people.

10:52

Don't abandon me yet.

10:53

Number two.

10:58

Let's just ask God.

11:00

It's his house.

11:02

He's the one who started all this.

11:04

Just ask God.

11:09

He could tell us who is right.

11:10

Is it the Jews?

11:11

Is it the Muslims?

11:12

Is it the Zoroastrians?

11:14

If it's the scientologists, a lot of us

11:17

are going to have egg on our faces.

11:21

But given God's lack of communication over this past,

11:24

let's say millennia.

11:32

All right, here's another one.

11:35

And heaven forbid, I actually think

11:38

this last one could work.

11:40

Starting now, no preconditions, no earned trust, no partners

11:46

for peace, Israel stops bombing,

11:49

Hamas releases the hostages, the Arab countries

11:53

who claim Palestine is their top priority come in and form

11:57

a demilitarized zone between Israel

12:00

and a free Palestinian state.

12:03

The Saudis, Egypt, UAE, Qatar, Jordan, they

12:06

all form like a NATO arrangement

12:08

guaranteeing security for both sides.

12:10

Obviously, they won't call it NATO.

12:12

It's the Middle East Treaty Organization, it's METO,

12:16

it's let's tweet it out.

12:20

METO.

12:21

Tonight, people, let's get this region METO'd!

12:31

Now, obviously, I have not worked out the exact verbiage,

12:35

but anything is better than the cluster [BLEEP]

12:38

cycle we have now.

12:39

Because honestly, what is the alternative?

12:43

The trumpet of God sounds and the rapture happens.

12:47

[WHEW]

12:49

We're gone, in the twinkling of an eye.

12:52

We're just simply not here.

12:55

Poof, indeed, sir.

13:00

Poof, indeed.