WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

The Broski Report
19 Mar 202459:18

Summary

TLDRIn this lively transcript, the host, Britney, discusses her everyday life, her love for the brand Vacation, and her recent experiences with dating and self-discovery. She shares her excitement for her sister's visit and her newfound freedom after a disappointing romantic encounter. Britney also talks about her passion for music, her struggles with social media, and her commitment to expanding her mind through reading and personal growth.

Takeaways

  • 🎙️ The Broski Report is hosted by Britney, who discusses her personal experiences and opinions on various topics.
  • 👩 Britney emphasizes her authenticity as a 'real woman' who does everyday tasks like laundry and dishes.
  • 💡 She talks about her desire for a partner who can provide a break from her blue-collar work ethic.
  • 🎬 Britney references movies like 'Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging' and 'Sherlock Holmes' as influential media in her life.
  • 🍀 She shares her experience with an Irishman she was interested in, and how she feels liberated after he ghosted her.
  • 🎂 Britney's sister is visiting for spring break, and they plan to enjoy 'sisterly stuff' together.
  • 🍲 She reminisces about her love for Hamburger Helper and shares a humorous anecdote about cooking mishaps.
  • 💌 Britney discusses a new, unconventional flirting method involving custom video edits called 'cap cut'.
  • 🎶 She expresses her love for the band Still Woozy and shares her current music obsessions.
  • 📚 Britney is passionate about expanding her mind through reading and is planning to read '1984' and 'East of Eden'.
  • 💡 The Broski Report encourages viewers to break free from the constraints of social media and explore a wider range of interests and experiences.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic of the Broski Report in this transcript?

    -The main topic of the Broski Report in this transcript revolves around the host's personal experiences and thoughts, including doing laundry, her appearance, her interactions with a man from Ireland, and her love for certain movies and TV shows.

  • Why does the host mention doing laundry and dishes?

    -The host mentions doing laundry and dishes to emphasize her relatability and humanity, despite being perceived as a perfect AI-rendered human face. It's a way to connect with the audience and show that she still engages in everyday activities.

  • What does the host mean when she says she has her father's hands?

    -The host means that her hands are not dainty or delicate like one might expect from her appearance, but rather they are strong and resemble her father's, which she associates with blue-collar work.

  • Which movies and TV shows does the host reference in the transcript?

    -The host references 'Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging', 'Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows', 'Iron Man 2', and 'Aquamarine' as the four pillars of media that affected her significantly.

  • What is the significance of the Irishman in the transcript?

    -The Irishman refers to a man the host was interested in who eventually ghosted her. The host uses this experience to discuss her feelings of freedom and disappointment, and how she absorbed some of his personality traits.

  • What does the host mean by 'free as a bird'?

    -The host uses the phrase 'free as a bird' to express her feelings of liberation and relief after the Irishman ghosted her, indicating that she feels unburdened and ready to move on.

  • What is the host's opinion on social media and its impact on society?

    -The host expresses a negative opinion on social media, describing it as addictive and brain-rotting. She encourages breaking free from the influence of social media and exploring a wider range of experiences and knowledge beyond the online world.

  • What does the host plan to do to expand her mind?

    -The host plans to read more books and delve into various subjects to expand her mind. She mentions reading 'East of Eden', re-reading '1984', and studying it in-depth as an adult.

  • What music does the host mention loving in the transcript?

    -The host mentions loving Still Woozy, particularly the album with 'Goodie Bag' on it, and TV Girl, with songs like 'Pantyhose', 'Talk to Strangers', 'Lovers Rock', 'Birds Don't Sing', and 'Lucy'.

  • What is the host's advice regarding social media usage?

    -The host advises controlling the amount of time spent on social media apps, being mindful of the privacy given to these apps, and being selective about the information consumed, as it can be addictive and detrimental to personal growth.

  • How does the host feel about the current state of Twitter?

    -The host feels that Twitter has become a platform for illicit activities and porn, and she finds it disgusting and brain-rotting, to the point where she can no longer use the platform.

Outlines

00:00

🎤 Introduction and Personal Life

The host, Britney, opens the Broski Report with a candid discussion about her daily life, including doing laundry and embracing her imperfections. She humorously addresses her appearance, comparing herself to an AI-rendered perfect human face and asserting her authenticity as a real person with flaws. Britney also shares her desire for a partner who can appreciate her 'blue-collar' hands and provides a comical prayer of gratitude for overcoming a past relationship.

05:03

🕯️ Lifestyle and Product Endorsements

Britney talks about her love for the brand Vacation, particularly their candles, sunscreen, and tanning products. She shares her obsession with the 'Pool Boy' scented candle and her use of their sunscreen. Britney also mentions a sponsored segment about Factor meals, a ready-to-eat meal service, and another sponsorship by Tinder, encouraging listeners to find their next date through the app.

10:06

💔 Relationship Update and Personal Reflections

Britney discusses her recent experience with ghosting and the emotional impact it had on her. She talks about preparing herself for the end of a connection with an Irishman and how she feels liberated afterwards. She also reflects on her past behavior of seeking attention from men and expresses her disappointment in the situation.

15:07

🍲 Food and Culinary Adventures

In this segment, Britney reminisces about her love for Hamburger Helper, particularly the cheesy enchilada flavor. She shares a humorous anecdote from college involving a dangerous cooking mishap with hot turkey grease. Britney also talks about her current food cravings and the challenges of avoiding gluten due to medical reasons.

20:07

🎶 Media Influence and Personal Growth

Britney reflects on the cultural impact of movies like 'Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging' and 'Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows'. She discusses her admiration for the character development and wit in these films, which inspired her to become a well-rounded individual with a broad understanding of various subjects. Britney also expresses her desire to break free from the constraints of social media and explore a wider range of interests and experiences.

25:08

🎵 Music and Upcoming Reads

Britney shares her current music obsessions, including Still Woozy and TV Girl, and provides a brief overview of her favorite tracks and albums. She also talks about her reading goals for the year, mentioning plans to read 'East of Eden' and re-read '1984' with a focus on annotation and in-depth study. Britney encourages her audience to take control of their media consumption and seek out more enriching experiences beyond social media.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Broski Report

The Broski Report is the name of the show or podcast that the speaker is hosting. It is a key concept as it sets the context for the entire transcript, indicating that the speaker is addressing an audience in a structured format. The Broski Report appears to be a platform where the speaker, named Britney, shares personal anecdotes, opinions, and updates with her listeners, as evidenced by the conversational and informal tone throughout the transcript.

💡Laundry

Laundry is mentioned as a mundane, everyday task that Britney is doing while recording the Broski Report. It serves to humanize her and emphasize the relatability of her experiences, showing that despite her being a host, she still engages in regular activities like laundry. This keyword exemplifies the down-to-earth and relatable nature of the content.

💡AI

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is referenced in the context of rendering the perfect human face, suggesting a discussion about the capabilities and implications of AI technology. The mention of AI ties into broader themes of technology and its influence on society, as well as the speaker's engagement with contemporary issues.

💡Flirting

Flirting is a social behavior that Britney discusses as a new way of interacting with men, specifically through the use of custom video edits called 'cap cuts.' This keyword highlights the creative and unconventional methods Britney employs in her personal relationships and her willingness to share these tactics with her audience.

💡Vitamin D

Vitamin D is mentioned in the context of Britney's health, as her doctor has advised her to take supplements due to a deficiency. This keyword relates to the theme of self-care and health awareness, showing that Britney is not only concerned with entertainment but also with practical aspects of well-being.

💡Social Media

Social media is a recurring theme in the transcript, with Britney expressing both her dependence on and her criticism of platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter. This keyword reflects the complex relationship many have with social media, using it for both personal expression and entertainment, while also acknowledging its potential negative impacts on mental health and society.

💡Cultural Curiosity

Cultural curiosity is a concept Britney values and encourages, as seen in her discussion about broadening her knowledge beyond the influence of social media. This keyword signifies a desire to learn and understand different cultures, histories, and perspectives, which Britney considers essential for forming balanced opinions and enriching one's life.

💡Music

Music is a significant aspect of the transcript, as Britney shares her love for certain bands and songs, using them as a form of personal expression and mood enhancement. This keyword illustrates Britney's engagement with the arts and how they influence her daily life and emotions.

💡Silk Pillowcases

Silk pillowcases are mentioned as a product endorsement within the transcript, highlighting the benefits of silk for hair and skin care. This keyword relates to the theme of self-care and beauty, indicating that Britney is not only concerned with entertainment but also with practical advice for maintaining one's appearance and comfort.

💡LifeStraw

The LifeStraw is a product mentioned in the context of filtering water, but Britney humorously discusses it in relation to drinking urine, which is not recommended. This keyword serves to illustrate Britney's comedic approach to serious topics and her ability to weave humor into discussions about health and wellness.

Highlights

Britney discusses the authenticity of her persona and the relatability of doing everyday tasks like laundry and dishes.

She humorously talks about her hands resembling her father's, who she describes as a blue-collar worker.

Britney references her desire for a partner who can provide a break from her hands' laborious work.

She shares a personal anecdote about hoping to have more delicate hands if she ever loses weight.

Britney makes a cultural reference to the movie 'Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging', highlighting its impact on her.

She humorously discusses her decision not to wear a green hat for St. Patrick's Day due to her editors' request.

Britney talks about her love for the brand 'Vacation' and its business-themed products, showing her appreciation for good design.

She shares her experience of being 'ghosted' by someone she was interested in, and her emotional journey afterwards.

Britney humorously discusses her freedom after the end of her interest in the 'Irishman', using religious and pop culture references.

She talks about her excitement for her sister's visit and their plans to go to Disney, highlighting the importance of sisterly bonding.

Britney shares her innovative method of flirting using personalized video edits, emphasizing the importance of being true to one's unique self.

She discusses the impact of social media on mental health and the importance of curating one's online experience.

Britney emphasizes the importance of reading and expanding one's knowledge beyond the influence of social media.

She talks about her love for music, specifically mentioning 'Still Woozy' and 'TV Girl', and how they impact her mood and daily activities.

Britney shares her plans to read '1984' and 'Brave New World', expressing her desire to study them in depth.

She ends the episode with a call to action for listeners to take control of their social media consumption and seek out more enriching experiences.

Transcripts

00:05

direct from the Broski Nation

00:07

headquarters in Los Angeles California

00:09

this is the Broski Report with your host

00:12

Britney

00:14

brosi hey

00:16

guys

00:18

on

00:19

right

00:23

on right guys okay here's the thing I'm

00:27

doing laundry if you hear it in the

00:28

background I'm going to say like I do

00:30

every single time I'm a real woman I

00:32

know I look like one of those perfect if

00:34

you rendered the perfect human face like

00:37

through AI I know I'm just about really

00:39

close to that guys seriously it is me

00:41

I'm a real human I have flaws

00:44

um it's hard to think of one right now

00:47

but I will get back to you on that we

00:48

will loop back sort of circle back

00:50

bumping this up in the inbox no pressure

00:52

absolutely no pressure but I do need

00:53

this address by EOD end of day okay um

00:57

I'm a real human I do laundry and dishes

00:59

okay

01:00

yes I still do my own laundry and dishes

01:02

I know you say Britney your hands are so

01:04

dainty your hands are so dainty and

01:06

frail please put down the mug you don't

01:09

have to wash it and I say guys guys let

01:12

me do this I've always thought I have my

01:14

father's hands because guess what I do

01:17

these are the hands of a bluecollar man

01:20

okay my hands look like this so hers can

01:23

look like this but it's just that

01:25

chicken foot with the with the painted

01:27

nails it's a chicken foot with three

01:29

Talons and a red painted nails my hands

01:33

look like my father's so hers can look

01:35

like that okay I need a man who will go

01:39

out there and dig the Earth dig the

01:42

soil so that I so that these meaty hands

01:45

can get a break I hope that like if I

01:48

ever lose weight that the I I'll have

01:50

dainty little Grandma hands I want

01:53

people to hold my hand and be like

01:55

Nana this is

01:57

like I grip your hand with such a Force

02:00

I crack

02:03

your people will practi okay do you

02:05

remember this is a deep cut indulge me

02:08

that scene from Angus Thongs and Perfect

02:09

Snogging and again I don't know why my

02:11

lore always goes back to that [ __ ]

02:14

movie Angus Thongs Perfect Snogging

02:16

Sherlock Holmes a game of shadows

02:18

starring Robert dowy Jr Iron Man 2

02:20

starring Robert dowy Jr and aquamarine

02:22

those are the four pillars of media in

02:25

this nation that affected me really to

02:28

my core for some [ __ ] reason I don't

02:30

know why Angus Thongs and Perfect

02:32

Snogging there is a scene and I forgot

02:35

what I was talking

02:36

about it's crazy how quick that

02:41

happens I'm trying to connect too many

02:43

synapses at once okay my synapses are

02:46

snapping

02:49

back in Blissful anguish that's a sleep

02:53

token song um the [ __ ] was I talking

02:56

about I guess we'll never know Happ

02:59

happy St Patrick's Day week guys it's

03:03

the week of Patty Patty Patricia if you

03:07

will St Patrick he Patrick St Patrick is

03:11

probably

03:12

he like that's so like I don't know cuz

03:17

he was bending sort of like you know do

03:20

you see my vision like St Patrick gives

03:23

he just a little bit I don't know

03:26

why happy non-binary day of visibility

03:29

too same Patrick I will be celebrating

03:31

by not putting on another one of those

03:33

green hats because my editors texted me

03:36

and said please [ __ ] stop and I said

03:39

I don't know what you're talking about I

03:41

don't know what you're talking about oh

03:42

when I wear a green hat in front of my

03:43

green screen you guys need to grow up

03:45

okay we need to have a certain level of

03:48

like Lucas Film Production green screen

03:51

and uh AR not AR VR and uh LED screens

03:57

around me okay at all times we need to

04:00

film the broky report like it's an

04:02

episode of the [ __ ]

04:04

Mandalorian alas we don't the budget is

04:06

not here so I will not be putting on

04:08

another St Patrick's Day Viking hat uh

04:12

yet okay maybe give it time because I

04:15

made this cup of coffee the best part of

04:19

waking up

04:21

is a cup my coffee cup just has business

04:24

on it this is from the brand vacation

04:27

which let me give a quick shout out to

04:29

the brand vacation

04:30

they have never paid me an ounce of of

04:33

cash of cheddar cheese provolone if you

04:35

will they have not once sent me a dollar

04:38

and I rep them like I started the

04:41

[ __ ] company dude when there's a good

04:43

company with good products period I love

04:47

vacation it is the cutest little brand

04:50

with everything's like Miami Hotel

04:54

business themed from like the 60s 7s '

04:56

80s no it's very 80s it's very 80s Hotel

04:59

hell Vibe but it's so polished and

05:02

everything like the typography is

05:04

beautiful the candles smell so good

05:06

there's three candles they sell Sweet

05:09

Lobby and pool boy pool boy is going to

05:11

be my favorite okay I burn that [ __ ]

05:13

once like it's 70 outside I'm burning

05:17

that [ __ ] it's burning right here I

05:18

don't know if you can see it it's out of

05:19

frame I love vacation and they make

05:22

sunscreen they make tanning stuff um I

05:24

use the sunscreen every morning and then

05:26

the the the candles are really my

05:28

obsession right now and then they sent

05:29

me PR package one time and this cute

05:31

little coffee cup came in it I was like

05:33

yeah dude because guess what I do

05:36

business okay I run a mogul maybe I

05:40

don't know what Mogul means I am a mogul

05:43

that's what I

05:44

mean mogul

05:47

definition an important or powerful

05:49

person especially in the motion picture

05:51

or media industry dude I'm running a

05:54

News Network we're running the

05:57

news you [ __ ] could not not be

06:00

trusted at these major news networks

06:02

guess who's in charge now me me

06:05

[ __ ] and I'm reporting on

06:09

what and you know what matters I have

06:12

updates on the Irishman okay going back

06:14

to St Patrick's Day updating you on uh

06:17

my Irish

06:19

husband I ranted last week it was a big

06:22

thing got it off my chest the inevitable

06:25

happened we were inching towards it we

06:27

were going we were chugging along

06:29

everything was great the inevitable

06:31

happened and guess what I am healed

06:34

enough y'all y'all can you bow your

06:37

heads and prayer with me really

06:38

quick dear heavenly father I want to

06:40

thank you for Gathering all of us

06:43

together with our eyes shut and heads

06:46

bowed in prayer I'd like to thank you

06:47

for freeing me of the shackles of this

06:50

Irishman Lord I Thank you for looking

06:52

over me keeping your hand on my shoulder

06:55

when it comes to the Irish the Irish are

06:57

devil people they're devilish Folk they

06:59

are not to be trusted Lord I Thank you

07:02

for keeping your hand on me over me

07:04

watching me you led me out of the

07:07

darkness and into the light amen church

07:11

amen Lord I Thank you so much for

07:14

guiding me guiding me away from the

07:17

island of Ireland I was so close I was

07:20

now I'm just doing Trump I was so close

07:23

so close

07:26

Okay and now I'll never know now we'll

07:30

never have to

07:32

visit the Eternal damnation that awaits

07:35

Ireland amen church amen and here's what

07:38

happened okay prayer over here's what

07:40

happened he ghosted me finally but

07:42

here's the thing I prepped for it

07:43

because all last week I talked about it

07:45

okay it's coming I feel it conversations

07:47

slowed down he responds to me in like

07:49

three business days I'm over it like

07:51

that makes me feel shitty dude that

07:53

makes me feel shitty imagine having

07:56

direct access to me [ __ ] if I wasn't me

08:00

and I was a young gentleman with a

08:02

painer and I could talk to a woman like

08:05

me imagine not

08:08

responding imagine being like oh she

08:10

texted me I'll get to it

08:15

later I could not imagine that oh My

08:19

Sweet

08:22

Lord You Don't Know What You Got Till

08:24

It's Gone and this young

08:27

gentleman I'm gone you lost me ghosted

08:31

me I hate to tell you you lost me one of

08:34

those like emo uh old head IG

08:39

memes they don't know what they got

08:41

until you lost me I'm like the diamond

08:44

at the end of Titanic you lost me in the

08:46

sea [ __ ] he ghosted me [ __ ] he threw

08:49

me into the sea okay he doesn't care if

08:51

I live or die now does that bother me

08:53

yeah okay but do I feel free yes freedom

08:58

freedom

09:01

Freedom we made it dude out of the other

09:04

side we never have to talk about Ireland

09:05

ever again until next week until next

09:09

week the dating app that I used went

09:11

ahead and charged me a second month they

09:13

charged me a second month for premium

09:15

premium

09:17

premium me a second

09:20

premium y'all remember that Tik Tok uh

09:24

uh character the little animated guy he

09:27

was a

09:28

chef

09:30

do you remember him put him up here I

09:32

don't remember his name I'll find him I

09:33

loved him tiny Chef little chef that was

09:36

his name I used to comment I used to

09:40

comment every time one of his videos

09:42

would come on my for you page I'd say

09:44

you saved my life little chef little

09:46

chef you've done more for me than any

09:48

therapist ever has he'd be like we're

09:51

going to make some pancakes and bacon

09:53

and I was like he's done more for my

09:55

mental health than any therapist ever

09:57

has anyway that's what it sounded like

10:00

just now the [ __ ] was I talking about oh

10:02

my god dude come

10:05

on oh he ghosted

10:09

okay I knew it was coming like I said I

10:12

prepared myself it

10:14

does because here's the thing it's a

10:16

shitty feeling when you feel like you're

10:20

a [ __ ] email thread that these people

10:23

have to Circle back to like no dude my

10:25

time is worth so much more than sitting

10:26

around literally that Pablo Escobar meme

10:29

of like sitting around waiting for him

10:30

to text me back that literally

10:33

legiterally is what it turns into I'm

10:36

pacing around my house okay with my

10:38

little cardigan my little English

10:39

teacher cardigan just like it's kind of

10:42

chilly in here I'm sweating sweats down

10:44

my back it's kind of chilly waiting by

10:46

the window for him to like text me back

10:48

he doesn't so that was it it's also not

10:51

even texting that [ __ ] has WhatsApp cuz

10:52

he's in Ireland get your money

10:56

up we're texting on WhatsApp get [ __ ]

10:59

money

11:00

up I think that's a pretty standard way

11:02

to communicate with people overseas with

11:05

people not in your own country I think

11:06

whatsapp's kind of more like

11:08

internationally used maybe than I

11:09

message I I could be making that up

11:11

still get your money up yeah dude I'm

11:14

feeling free okay that Meme of the guy

11:17

breaking his chains that's literally me

11:19

that's how I feel because I've been

11:21

obsessed I've been obsessed with this

11:24

dude I've been obsessed with this dude

11:26

for going on a month now okay doesn't

11:29

care if I live or die uh barely responds

11:31

to me but AR banter was so good I was

11:33

talking to my friend Katie and she was

11:34

like dude if anything he's the blueprint

11:37

like he's the blueprint now for me to

11:39

steal his personality and I was like you

11:41

know what you're so [ __ ] right

11:42

actually cuz he was so funny so funny

11:45

and so smart that I was like you know

11:47

what the fact that we're even on this

11:49

level we're like I'm I'm going to steal

11:51

some of his jokes I think you [ __ ] on me

11:54

I steal your bit that's what

11:57

happens you [ __ ] on me I steal your bit

12:00

Point Blank

12:01

period so now every time in the future

12:04

I'm when I'm funny it's the Irishman

12:06

that lives within me I I consumed his

12:08

Spirit akin to uh the likes of a twin in

12:11

the womb okay I absorbed my twin he's my

12:14

except I absorbed my ex- situationship

12:17

was it even a situationship we had not

12:18

met or ever spoken on the phone

12:21

no actually yes it

12:23

was yes yes that Patrick Patrick the

12:27

star thing um anyway it's over and I

12:32

woke up this morning feeling so CU he

12:34

hasn't responded in three days and I was

12:36

like if it's been three days [ __ ] and

12:38

it's Saturday today he's not responding

12:41

and he hasn't and I'm okay with that um

12:43

because I feel

12:44

free free as a bird free as I'll ever be

12:48

Darius Rucker got arrested he sings that

12:51

free as will ever be ever be free as

12:58

will

13:00

oh I'm lying that's Zach Brown

13:03

P just add free released in 2006 hell

13:07

yeah okay this is actually goingon to be

13:09

like well man never mind M Darius rer

13:10

didn't get arrested though I think he

13:11

had weed I think he had pot on him and

13:14

they were like you [ __ ] criminal it's

13:17

time to racially profile you and they

13:20

did okay I feel free I woke up this

13:23

morning with a pep in my step I woke up

13:26

this morning happy to be alive there is

13:28

nothing nothing like the morning Bird's

13:31

song to hearken hearken the day to to

13:36

raise your senses I woke up wow filled

13:40

with life and breath I am so happy to be

13:43

alive dude because we nuked Ireland off

13:47

the map oh I've never felt so free

13:50

freedom

13:51

freedom freedom okay I feel free the

13:57

birds are singing the sun is shining the

13:59

grass is green and dewy oh I could just

14:01

go roll around like a dog in the

14:04

springtime I could roll around like a

14:06

zerch

14:08

commercial I literally I am so happy

14:10

today my sister is coming to visit me

14:13

this week for her spring break I'm so

14:17

excited we're going to go to Disney

14:20

we're going to do sisterly stuff like

14:22

sit next to each other in silence and

14:24

scroll on Tik Tok wow it's really good

14:27

bonding y'all I love my

14:29

sister so she's coming I feel so

14:32

happy it's also just

14:35

so like coming out of this I'm GNA call

14:39

it a situation chip because [ __ ] you it

14:41

is [ __ ]

14:43

you when you open yourself up to

14:46

something being something and then it's

14:47

not it feels disappointing I'm

14:49

disappointed by the way that uh it

14:51

fizzled out I'm disappointed by the way

14:54

that it made me feel I'm disappointed

14:57

that I once again again found myself in

14:59

a position where I was begging for a

15:02

Crum of attention from these [ __ ]

15:04

dudes and uh it's not a great feeling

15:07

but now the tides are shifting okay this

15:10

episode is sponsored by factor it's

15:12

still relatively early into 2024 and if

15:14

one of your goals for this year was

15:16

eating better it's never been easier

15:18

than with Factor delicious ready to eat

15:20

meals every fresh never frozen meal is

15:23

Chef crafted dietitian approved and

15:25

ready to go in Just 2 minutes fuel up

15:28

fast with factors restaurant quality

15:29

meals that are ready to heat and eat

15:31

whenever you are pancakes smoothies and

15:34

more discover a wide variety of easy

15:36

options for the entire day like

15:38

breakfast midday bites and more no prep

15:41

No Mess meals Factor meals are ready to

15:43

heat and eat so there's no prepping

15:45

cooking or cleanup needed it's flexible

15:47

for your schedule you can get as much or

15:49

as little as you need by choosing your

15:51

meals every week plus you can pause or

15:53

reschedule your deliveries anytime it's

15:55

the perfect solution if you're looking

15:56

for fast premium options with no no

15:59

cooking required and they've done the

16:01

math factor is less expensive than

16:03

takeout and every meal is dietitian

16:05

approved to be nutritious and delicious

16:08

so what are you waiting for get started

16:09

today and get after your goals head to

16:12

factor meals.com

16:14

br50 and use code Broski 50 to get 50%

16:17

off that's code Broski 50 at factor

16:20

meals.com br50 for 50% off this episode

16:24

is sponsored by Tinder y'all it is

16:27

Springtime it's time to be open to

16:29

finding your next fun date Tinder is the

16:32

most popular dating app and has the most

16:34

possibilities to find what's right for

16:36

you my friend matched with the man and

16:38

got lost for hours talking about Emo

16:41

music and their dream travel

16:42

destinations together she had so much

16:45

fun with tendra's prompts and quizzes

16:46

that helped her fuel the fire now she's

16:50

blowing up the group chat with never-

16:51

ending photos of their new life together

16:53

okay cuffing season is over but finding

16:56

your next match doesn't have to be go

16:58

grab your phone tap that download button

17:00

and try Tinder today explore all the

17:03

possibilities for yourself on Tinder it

17:05

starts with a swipe download Tinder

17:07

today laundry's done laundry's done

17:11

guys now I feel the tide shifting

17:13

because these every every time this

17:16

happens I'm like okay okay we're moving

17:19

on okay 100% message received Lord Lord

17:22

I see what you've done for others I got

17:24

to

17:25

fart that was an

17:27

SBD that was an

17:29

SBD code SBD typing that into

17:34

a typing that oh it stinks

17:38

dude gassing myself out Dutch ovening

17:42

myself hey what's a dutch oven why do

17:44

Americans call it a dutch oven an

17:47

English inventor realized cast iron was

17:49

a much cheaper alternative but he needed

17:51

to use a Dutch process to make the molds

17:53

work that's why the pot continues to be

17:55

called a dutch oven oh cuz when you it's

17:59

like a little L cruset Pot and when you

18:01

take the thing off it's like good

18:04

night good night we all cooking pigs

18:07

feet and onions in there

18:09

[ __ ] good night Linda were you cooking a

18:12

turd in there put that [ __ ] lid back

18:15

on I didn't know we were making turd

18:17

stew Linda put that [ __ ] back on there

18:20

the whole open the window this whole

18:22

[ __ ] kitchen smells like dog

18:26

[ __ ] you ever set the smoke alarm

18:29

off and it starts beeping because you

18:31

burn something on the stove did I tell

18:34

you about the one time in college and I

18:35

was like this hot grease that came off

18:38

of this uh turkey meat ground turkey

18:40

meat that I just cooked what if I poured

18:42

hot grease over an open flame into a Red

18:45

Solo

18:47

Cup I never said I was a smart one I

18:50

never said I was a pretty one either

18:52

okay they keep me around like the jester

18:54

I told you that that would have killed

18:58

if I had done that uh on a stage similar

19:01

to like a Blue Man Group okay I was like

19:03

check this [ __ ] out y'all and I took the

19:06

hot turkey grease and I poured it into a

19:07

Solo Cup the Solo Cup by the way

19:09

completely melted on the bottom and went

19:11

into the flame and then the flame grew

19:13

higher I was in my college apartment

19:15

[ __ ] I could have died I could have

19:17

killed me and all 400 people who lived

19:19

in that

19:21

building bye

19:23

y'all cuz I wanted to make some damn

19:26

hamburger helper what the hell do y'all

19:28

know about h Hamburger Helper what do

19:30

you know about Hamburger Helper girl

19:31

hold on pull this [ __ ] up chicken and no

19:35

no no no no no no beef

19:39

stroganoff Hamburger Helper [ __ ] yeah

19:41

dude oh my Lord oh I'm about to start

19:45

salivating oh this [ __ ]

19:48

dude Hamburger Helper Hamburger Helper

19:52

what was the other one three cheese

19:54

enchilada Hamburger Helper uh enchilada

19:58

yeah mother [ __ ] W oh I could eat this

20:02

with my bare

20:04

hands I could eat this with my bear

20:07

Grill's hands I always liked okay I

20:10

liked this one more cheesy enchilada

20:13

Hamburger Helper than than I liked the

20:17

macaroni one y'all know the macaroni one

20:19

did y'all grow up eating

20:20

this I literally we loved this in in my

20:25

house we loved Hamburger Helper I used

20:27

to beg for it oh this one with the

20:29

cheesy Italian shells that that's going

20:30

to hit every time I used to beg for this

20:33

and I used to imagine me 15 years old

20:39

okay do y'all hear the birds tping I

20:42

mean it's just a beautiful day I used to

20:45

beg for this after a long day of being a

20:47

theater kid after being an AP student

20:49

theater kid I'd be like need to nourish

20:51

my mind let's go home Hamburger Helper

20:54

Hamburger Helper with a big 16 o glass

20:56

of milk

21:00

whole milk 2% milk I

21:05

would I loved milk dude I can't do milk

21:09

now because it tears my [ __ ] up it tears

21:12

my [ __ ] up oh it's the spicy milk too

21:15

much for your tummy yes it

21:18

is it is now I got to do oat milk one

21:22

time since living in this house I was

21:25

like [ __ ] it I want Herer helper so bad

21:27

and I inac carded it okay I insta carded

21:31

one thing of Hamburger Helper and turkey

21:34

meat and I used oat milk in it it worked

21:37

just fine okay they look people will try

21:41

to look at you and say you can't do that

21:43

it's

21:44

impossible what you're talking about is

21:46

crazy you're acting crazy right now and

21:49

it's up to us as as Citizens and members

21:52

of Broski Nation AKA one of the most

21:56

forward-thinking Progressive nations in

21:58

the world innovators of our time truly

22:02

it takes someone from Broski Nation to

22:03

stand up and be like no the recipe calls

22:07

for whole milk what if we used extra

22:09

creamy oat milk and then everyone in the

22:11

audience goes can you do that can you do

22:13

that I've never no it's never been done

22:15

before

22:17

disaster and then someone else stand up

22:19

and say wait he's right chemically

22:23

they're kind of the same they serve the

22:25

same purpose has anyone thought of this

22:27

before and then another guy stands up

22:28

and goes this is crazy talk it's

22:31

impossible it can never be done and then

22:33

I stand up and I say silence silence no

22:37

I say

22:39

order Order in the

22:41

Court and I say I will let the scientist

22:45

try a new found

22:47

Theory but only if he tries the first

22:51

bite and it pans over it's

22:57

Stanley it's Stanley once again chained

23:00

by one ankle chained by one ankle he's

23:02

wearing a

23:04

Mumu I will entertain the theory if he's

23:07

willing to take the first Bight and

23:10

Stanley's over there Stanley's over

23:12

there with his [ __ ] computer like a

23:13

nerd he's over there with his computer

23:16

my glasses Adobe premiere's open [ __ ]

23:21

nerd and then and then a comedically

23:23

large spoon comes in and feeds him a big

23:25

bite of Hamburger Helper what am I

23:28

talking

23:29

that was made with oat milk and he

23:31

goes it it and then all of us lean in

23:35

comedically close he it's delicious and

23:39

then

23:40

every bra bra and then they bring the

23:44

spoon over to me and it's delicious and

23:45

I hold it like a like a elementary

23:47

school

23:48

boy holographic Hamburger Helper

23:52

again holographic Hamburger Helper again

23:56

I recently on Tik Tok watched that whole

23:59

episode of SpongeBob where Sheldon J

24:01

Plankton of course has his whole little

24:03

redneck family come in it's so funny

24:05

dude sh Sherlock fian slip I'm always

24:09

thinking about Sherlock SpongeBob was

24:11

made for adults I don't give a [ __ ] it

24:13

is it is way funnier watching it as an

24:16

adult and I would struggle to know

24:20

myself outside of the cultural

24:27

shapingspirit as a member of a

24:29

generation and I do have a tattoo of the

24:33

SpongeBob jellyfish okay jellyfish

24:36

[Applause]

24:38

jelly that's one of those I've always

24:40

wanted to

24:41

try if I could just get my hands on some

24:44

jellyfish jelly damn I know that [ __ ]

24:46

would hit I've been craving peanut

24:48

butter and jelly sandwiches lately and I

24:50

can't have

24:51

bread cuz my doctor said no gluten what

24:54

am I supposed to do

24:56

starve I gu gu I'm going to starve again

25:00

a Patrick a Patrick reference put it up

25:02

here well I guess I'm going to starve

25:06

the chocolate bar all around his face

25:07

and the camera pans down to his huge

25:09

[ __ ]

25:10

FAA well I guess I'm going to

25:13

starve that's so

25:15

me okay anyway dude Hamburger Helper uh

25:19

this [ __ ] hits I might eat it for dinner

25:20

tonight I love this [ __ ] they also make

25:23

tuna

25:25

helper Chicken Helper do they make

25:27

Chicken Helper

25:29

Chicken

25:30

Helper

25:32

yeah they make CH they do chicken fried

25:36

rice sounds bad Old El Paso cheesy

25:40

enchilada try with chicken instead of

25:43

ground beef okay now it does come with

25:45

the [ __ ] sauce on top they have this

25:48

mystery white [ __ ] dripping very you know

25:51

viscous [ __ ] that is dripping off the top

25:56

of the uh the dish here

25:58

um wait presenting Hamburger Helper like

26:01

on one of those cooking shows so what we

26:03

have here is a rice peeloff based dish

26:05

with a ground chicken and ground beef

26:08

meatball combination on top we have a

26:11

viscous creamy Alfredo [ __ ] sauce that

26:15

really brings a full-bodied flavor

26:17

infused with peppers infused with onions

26:20

and a sort of flavorful Trio combination

26:23

here to provide a well-rounded

26:26

meal and then I'm Gordon Ramsey and I

26:29

try it and I

26:30

go the [ __ ] sauce who made it and then

26:35

some guy comes out he's like me

26:38

sir come here sir come here chef and

26:43

then he comes

26:44

forward and then and then uh and then I

26:47

give him a trophy because that come

26:48

sauce it looks [ __ ] gross but it is

26:50

delicious okay and I I am sorry I said

26:52

comea so many

26:54

times okay Switching topics completely I

26:57

don't know what the [ __ ] I've been

26:58

talking about for 27

27:00

minutes I have invented a new way of

27:03

flirting with men that I would like to

27:04

impart on you all and now take into

27:07

consideration that I

27:09

am very very abnormal I am very weird

27:14

I'm a weirdo I'm a weirdo okay if you

27:17

haven't

27:18

noticed I'm juge head from

27:21

Riverdale I'm a weirdo and the way that

27:24

I flirt is weird and the way that I

27:25

flirt very few men understand what's

27:28

going on and even more so can uh keep up

27:32

with it and kind of entertain it okay I

27:33

scare men I scare them away because this

27:37

is me in my True Form alpha wolf with a

27:40

fedora this is me men cannot handle not

27:43

being the alpha wolf and a

27:46

fedora that is me to my core sometimes

27:49

you know uh it's with an eyelash okay I

27:53

have created this new way of flirting

27:55

with men I did it for my friend Katie as

27:57

kind of a joke and then she sent it to

27:59

her situation chip and it [ __ ] worked

28:01

so I would like to share with you

28:05

all oh my God y'all the birds are just

28:07

singing outside it is just I'm just it's

28:09

a great day okay here is the tidbit cap

28:13

cut hear me out download cap

28:17

cut cap cut has text based uh templates

28:23

that you can find and you find pictures

28:26

here's what I did for Katie okay

28:29

her man's uh in a different city and she

28:32

misses him he doesn't think about her

28:34

it's like really horrible classic

28:35

situationship stuff I was like you need

28:38

to go to that City but you can't plan a

28:41

trip specifically to go see him because

28:43

that's like you know he's working what

28:45

if he's busy it's not like a

28:46

longdistance relationship type thing

28:48

it's like you have to make it nonchalant

28:50

in the way of like hey I'll be there

28:53

this weekend would love to see you but

28:55

also like transparently you're booking

28:57

the to go see him

28:59

right I made a cap cut as a joke that I

29:02

sent it to her that said it was this

29:07

like let me it was some song let me find

29:10

it okay it was it was uh Arabian Nights

29:15

from Aladdin the another Arabian Night

29:21

Arabian and then the Beat Drops and it's

29:24

that DOA cat song The like you find it

29:28

to someone like you that one

29:35

uh it goes into that but like the beat

29:38

part and it's all these like flash edits

29:41

and in the beginning it's text I'm

29:42

describing the edit in the beginning

29:44

it's text and it says I'm going to be in

29:48

the city on this date do you want to go

29:51

on a date and have sex and then the rest

29:53

of the edit was like alternating

29:56

pictures of her and him and like a Vos

29:58

at style and I added glitter and

30:01

butterflies on top and uh I said it to

30:05

her we were [ __ ] dying laughing we

30:07

were dying laughing and she was like

30:10

should I send this to him and I was like

30:12

Katie [ __ ] it send it what do we have to

30:15

lose it's silly it's funny if if it

30:18

weirds him out he's not your person

30:21

right if it weirds him out it's never

30:23

going to work with y'all because you're

30:24

a [ __ ] weirdo Katie I'm a [ __ ]

30:27

weirdo

30:28

why would you be with a man who doesn't

30:29

embrace your weirdness why are you

30:31

trying to act like you're not a [ __ ]

30:33

freak you're a

30:37

freak and so she sent it to him and

30:40

guess what it

30:42

worked it

30:44

worked it worked it

30:46

worked Welcome to our club Welcome to

30:49

our club welcome Squidward welcome

30:51

Squidward welcome Squidward it [ __ ]

30:53

worked dude cap cut is the new wave I

30:56

message boring sending Tik toks boring

31:00

tagging them in memes boring

31:02

personalizing memes funny boring cap cut

31:05

is the wave start making custom videos

31:09

for the person you're entertaining okay

31:11

do you want to go have a go on a date

31:13

and have sex

31:14

boom but it's to never had a [ __ ] like

31:17

me life or it's she ride dick like a

31:19

carnival okay it's to any of those songs

31:22

you make a text and then you put

31:23

pictures of you and them alternating or

31:25

you put just pictures of yourself or you

31:28

put just pictures of them you put

31:29

pictures of their animal maybe their

31:31

parents maybe their home address maybe

31:33

do that maybe put a screenshot of their

31:36

house on Zillow you could include that

31:39

in there and then when they text back

31:41

like was that a sorry was that a

31:45

screenshot of my home on Zillow and you

31:47

go what what's up no no it was like a c

31:51

it was like a funny capcut edit of like

31:53

oh you like you wna go on a date no no

31:55

no yeah I got that it was funny I just

31:57

um was that a picture of my my I mean

31:59

it's not even my house it's my parents

32:01

house was my parents house on

32:03

there no no I no my finger must have

32:05

slipped I'm house hunting right now yeah

32:07

I'm house hunting right now I must have

32:09

accidentally included it

32:12

yeah okay right right no and I knew you

32:15

were moving but I just saw you know like

32:18

I grew up in that house so I would

32:20

recognize it I'm just kind of wondering

32:22

like why it was in the edit um you know

32:25

just asking and then that is when I fing

32:28

okay you're asking too many [ __ ]

32:31

questions what are you the

32:33

police what are you the [ __ ] police

32:35

get out of my

32:36

[ __ ] yeah I have a screenshot of your

32:39

parents home address what am I I'm

32:41

supposed to not I'm supposed to not know

32:44

everything about you dude I'm supposed

32:46

to not Google your [ __ ] grandma's

32:48

name oh found your grandfather's

32:50

obituary I did that in 20 minutes or

32:53

less there is too much information

32:54

available online for people like me for

32:57

people like me and Katie oh it's over

33:00

dude we

33:02

obsess we obsess I found your middle

33:05

school basketball team group picture

33:07

[ __ ] there you are boom

33:11

screenshotted me texted oh he's an

33:14

athlete I found it I found it in under

33:17

30 minutes timer and go found it found

33:21

your major minor and Collegiate

33:25

classmates I found what clubs you were

33:27

in

33:28

I found your Spotify playlist from

33:32

2013 don't don't play with me don't ever

33:35

play with me I will find you this

33:37

episode is sponsored by Blissey y'all

33:40

know I'm a silk pillowcase believer so

33:42

set yourself up with better sleep with

33:44

blissey's award-winning 100% Mulberry

33:47

silk pillowcases silk is what's best for

33:50

your hair and skin it reduces frizz

33:52

Tangles and prevents breakage that's

33:54

because it keeps the moisture in your

33:56

hair and keeps your skin products and

33:58

natural moisture on your skin while

34:00

cotton literally absorbs it all off your

34:02

face there's a lot of dupes out there

34:05

that claim satin can be an alternative

34:06

to Silk but that is just not the case

34:09

satin is made from synthetic fibers like

34:11

polyester while silk is a luxurious

34:14

allnatural fiber silk is more breathable

34:17

moisture wicking and gentle it's also

34:19

more durable and long lasting think of

34:21

it as an investment in getting better

34:23

sleep and waking up feeling ready to

34:25

take on the day blissy pillowcases are

34:27

made made out of 100% mberry silk which

34:29

is naturally hypoallergenic so you can

34:31

sleep more comfortably without itching

34:33

or rashes or scratching and unlike other

34:36

silk pillowcases these are of the

34:38

highest quality silk and are machine

34:41

washable and durable I toss and turn all

34:43

night cuz I like to run marathons in my

34:45

sleep apparently so my Blissey

34:47

pillowcase helps prevent that beloved

34:49

Rat's Nest from growing at the back of

34:51

my head everyone loves Blissey they got

34:53

a ton of different prints and colors and

34:55

they make great gifts there's an option

34:57

for literally anyone men love them too

34:59

okay men got to sleep too they have over

35:02

1 million raving fans and you could be

35:04

next try now risk-free for 60 nights at

35:07

bliss.com Broski and get an additional

35:10

30% off that's B LS

35:13

y.com Broski and use code Broski to get

35:17

an additional 30% off your skin and hair

35:19

will thank you anyway cap Cut's the new

35:22

wave cap cut is a very effective method

35:25

of flirting because you can customize it

35:27

and it's funny it's also like hopefully

35:30

urging them to flirt back in that way

35:33

cuz it's fun making custom memes for

35:36

each other we need to do more of that

35:38

because all of us inside all of us lives

35:41

an editor inside all of us lives a

35:44

Stanley a David do I actually don't know

35:48

if David do edited his own Vlogs also

35:50

[ __ ] a [ __ ] named David do inside all

35:53

of us is an editor and I think we really

35:55

need to tap into it so I'm I'm this

35:58

short actually I was about to lie I'll

36:00

tell the truth um the young gentleman

36:03

that I am

36:04

texting uh I did go ahead and make an

36:07

edit of him also and I sent it to

36:09

him based on photos that I had at my

36:12

disposal based on photos that I had

36:14

collected thanks to my own research okay

36:17

and he loved it so get into that you

36:20

[ __ ] need to figure that [ __ ] out I'm

36:22

giving you the tools for Success you

36:24

need to implement them I can lead a

36:26

horse to water I can not shove its head

36:28

under and make it suck I cannot give a

36:31

horse one of those straws that turn piss

36:33

into water what are those

36:36

God what's the

36:38

straw that turns piss into

36:43

water LIF

36:46

straw YouTube hosts drink urine through

36:49

a LifeStraw I think that's actually

36:50

going to be Rett link that did that the

36:52

LifeStraw filter removes waterborne

36:55

bacteria protozoa and other dirt

36:57

particles larger than 02 microns that

36:59

doesn't matter cuz it's still piss dude

37:01

like you can't take all the bacteria out

37:03

of piss it's piss like at its core sure

37:06

I guess it's water-based but it's

37:09

piss oh that's still piss we own several

37:13

LifeStraw products and have used them

37:15

repeatedly over the

37:17

years is it safe to drink urine through

37:19

a LifeStraw no LifeStraw filters do not

37:23

remove dissolve salts exactly and are

37:25

not designed to be used to drink non-

37:27

uted urine so why did you so why did you

37:31

add that

37:32

disclaimer why did you add that

37:34

disclaimer okay so when you're making a

37:36

piss cocktail you're going to actually

37:37

have the Shaker in front of you you're

37:38

going to do fresh ice there you go we're

37:40

going to add piss one two thank you

37:43

that's just enough then we're going to

37:44

crack open this Perry and then we're

37:46

going to pour it

37:48

in perfect okay throw that away we're

37:51

going to put the top on

37:53

Shake beautiful and you knock the thing

37:56

off the top of the mixing thing get some

37:58

fresh ice in your cup strainer strain it

38:01

that's diluted piss okay then out of

38:03

that your life straw it's got a

38:05

Tamarind it's got a

38:08

chimy tahen rim on the straw on the life

38:12

straw perfect do a little lime squeeze

38:15

beautiful and your piss cocktail and

38:18

your piss teeny actually the perfect

38:22

name for that would be Piston Cup he did

38:25

what this cup oh God cars cars is

38:29

actually another movie that forever

38:30

impacted me Tow Mater had more impact on

38:33

me than a lot of men in my life growing

38:35

up what Larry the Cable Guy did uh with

38:38

towater really informed who I am as a

38:41

person amongst other things and uh yeah

38:44

hey did what this cup the Piston

38:46

Cup and one Piston Cup for you and the

38:49

lovely lady okay there's two you split

38:52

it there's two LIF straws with with

38:54

chamoy tahen rims um okay what do they

38:58

mean by non-diluted

39:00

urine because of this we do not

39:02

recommend drinking urine with LifeStraw

39:04

filters even in low amounts I'm glad

39:06

they said that because I was about to

39:07

try it I've got some piss up and saving

39:10

up so what the LIF straw is to drink out

39:13

of like Rivers is the life straw to

39:17

drink out to drink out of rivers drink

39:22

directly from lakes rivers and streams

39:24

now see that's that's great or fill a

39:28

container to use your LIF straw on the

39:30

go with protection against bacteria

39:32

parasites microplastics silt sand and

39:35

cloudiness you can do all that but you

39:37

can't filter the

39:39

piss is piss not just

39:41

microplastics

39:43

okay is piss not just bacteria

39:46

microplastics and sand who who up

39:49

pissing

39:52

sand who up pissing sand in their diaper

39:55

and drinking out of it with a LifeStraw

39:56

all right sorry

39:58

guys sorry yeah the life straw is crazy

40:02

I'm going to start do you remember when

40:04

also they would sell they were promoting

40:06

the life straw and then that other one

40:08

the straw that would bend up and you

40:10

could put it on your keychain and it was

40:13

like to see the turtles to see the

40:16

turtles but they just grew mold because

40:18

you [ __ ] never washed them I remember

40:21

I wanted one so bad whenever my friend

40:22

would pull one out I was like you look

40:24

[ __ ] stupid you look stupid just have

40:28

a reusable water bottle what are you

40:29

like it's all folded up there's like

40:32

fuzzy mold growing on it e he's like I'm

40:34

always sick I don't know why I always

40:36

just have this sort of like respiratory

40:37

thing mama there's mold in your

40:39

straw

40:41

anyway it's time to talk about m

40:46

music I have to inform you

40:51

all I feel a need to sort of send out an

40:53

alert send out an amber alert a code red

40:55

a code blue when ever I'm back on my

40:58

white people [ __ ] I'm back on my white

41:00

people [ __ ] I'm locked in okay speaking

41:02

of which I went to the doctor yesterday

41:04

uh for a checkup and uh she went ahead

41:07

and told me that I'm low on vitamin

41:10

D you did not have to do blood work to

41:12

tell me that look at me girl I have not

41:15

seen the sun

41:16

in about four and a half

41:19

months looking at me is like looking at

41:22

a sickly Edwardian child bedridden Tiny

41:28

Tim uh Christmas Story core Ebenezer

41:32

Scrooge core when you look up white

41:36

person and the spectrum of whiteness I'm

41:40

going to be on the sort of very the the

41:42

like abnormal not even white you're pink

41:45

okay there's a scale you're pink and

41:48

then the opposite of the I'm pink you're

41:51

so white that you are red almost that is

41:54

me and she went ahead and looked at me

41:56

and she was like need to take a vitamin

41:57

D supplement and I was like I could have

41:59

told you that I could have told you that

42:02

yes I do you're very right I need to I

42:05

was talking to Drew the other day and

42:06

she was like yeah my spray tan lady and

42:08

I'm like I if I got a spray

42:10

tan if I got a spray tan at this base

42:13

color PE people would call it

42:15

problematic I need to spray tan so bad

42:18

dude I need it so bad I can't keep

42:20

living like this I'm in the sunlight and

42:22

I'm blinding planes I drive in my car

42:25

with my hand on on 12 like this at the

42:28

top of the steering wheel and the

42:29

reflection off the whiteness of my hand

42:31

of the sun could take a plane down it

42:34

could we could ground planes that's very

42:38

scary you know how sometimes buildings

42:40

with like

42:42

bronze uh domes like bronze roofs or

42:46

gold roofs roofs roofs

42:51

roofs

42:52

hoof now see technically that should be

42:55

roofs r o o VES

43:00

plural of roof no [ __ ] [ __ ] it's

43:05

roofs in the US roofs is the standard

43:09

plural of roof elsewhere rofes is a

43:12

fairly common but becoming less so you

43:16

stupid

43:17

[ __ ] it should be

43:19

rofes the laws of celestial mechanics

43:22

dictate that when two objects Collide

43:24

there is always damage of a collateral

43:26

nature

43:28

it's from Sherlock Holmes Game of

43:30

Shadows the laws of celestial mechanics

43:32

and modern graphology dictate that when

43:35

you write the word roofs it should be r

43:38

o o v

43:40

s sometimes I agree that Americans have

43:43

bastardized the language okay but

43:46

linguistically speaking the idea of an

43:49

American English exists and it is

43:51

correct because you cannot tell someone

43:54

the way in which they communicate is not

43:58

is not legitimate because there are so

44:01

many different types of English and

44:04

types of dialectical and Regional

44:08

differences none of them are wrong they

44:10

are just different and I think that in

44:12

this case this is

44:14

wrong this is wrong this does not sit

44:18

well on my heart on my spirit roofs

44:23

rves you don't say hoofs for a horse you

44:26

say

44:27

Hooves plural of

44:31

hoof Hooves also hoofs

44:36

[ __ ] what is the plural of hoof Oxford

44:40

dictionary but see Oxford dictionary is

44:42

not to be trusted because it's [ __ ]

44:43

British people hoofs Hooves okay so both

44:46

are technically correct but that's about

44:47

to piss me off because no they're

44:49

not no they're not no they ain't that

44:53

ain't right I ain't how I say it it

44:55

ain't right

44:57

okay back to my white people [ __ ] um I

45:00

am lacking vitamin D severely and

45:02

sufficiently enough to have it be

45:04

medically concerning from my doctor I'm

45:05

going to start taking a vitamin D

45:07

supplement soon hopefully uh I'll start

45:09

looking less sickly second of all

45:13

I am tapping in to Summer mode okay I

45:16

was talking about vacation earlier these

45:18

candles again I'm not vacation if you

45:20

want to pay me imagine this is free

45:23

promo imagine what I could do imagine

45:25

what I could do when there's a dollar

45:26

Cur

45:28

when there is a USD

45:29

involved I love vacation I I buy them

45:32

with my own money there is a candle

45:33

called pool boy that smells like summer

45:37

I love it I think about it all the time

45:39

it's how my house smells I um burn it

45:43

and I'm like if I'm not on the beach in

45:47

in or around 45

45:49

minutes um I have a weapon and I'm not

45:52

scared to use it I'm not you know

45:55

hesitant I'm not ious about using it I

45:57

will use it on the nearest suspecting

46:00

unsuspecting lifeguard uh what did he do

46:02

nothing the laws of celestial mechanics

46:05

dictate that when two objects Collide

46:07

there will always be damage of a

46:09

collateral

46:11

nature I have that whole scene memorized

46:14

you want me to do it I'll do

46:16

it I'll do it fine graphology scene

46:19

Sherlock

46:22

Holmes this scene dude [ __ ]

46:25

yeah

46:29

okay for context let me provide some

46:31

context here James Mori arti is the

46:34

villain in the Sherlock Holmes Cinematic

46:36

Universe okay he's the villain but he is

46:38

also the only person arguably that can

46:42

match Sherlock Holmes's level of wit and

46:44

intellect and uh uh conniving sniv this

46:48

okay what does sniv mean sniveling maybe

46:52

sniv is not a

46:53

word

46:55

conniving someone conniving is

46:57

calculating scheming and shrewd exactly

47:01

he is Sherlock's equal in every way

47:03

except he's evil

47:05

okay after John Watson Sherlock's bestie

47:09

gets

47:10

married he Sherlock goes to visit James

47:14

morti and is like all right dude

47:16

whatever you're planning whatever

47:17

schemes you're up to I'm game let's

47:20

let's start this sort of inevitable game

47:22

of chess but I want to confirm that Dr

47:25

John Watson will be left out of the

47:27

equation okay can you guarantee me that

47:29

like I will accept this invitation you

47:33

know of of let's meet for face to face

47:37

but please leave Watson out of it he now

47:39

has a wife he's you know whatever like

47:40

please offer me this one consideration

47:43

and this meeting he has with Mor Ari he

47:46

basically tells him to go [ __ ] himself

47:49

he goes

47:51

no to your previous question regarding

47:54

Dr Watson the answer is no

47:57

when two objects Collide there's always

48:00

damage of a collateral

48:02

nature that he's talking about Dr John

48:04

Watson of course and that is going to be

48:06

the fifth time I've said that this

48:11

episode okay now this scene in this

48:13

scene where he's asking morard to be

48:15

like please bro don't hurt Watson he's

48:17

my best friend and I think I'm in love

48:18

with him also by the way he's like

48:20

please don't hurt bro don't hurt bro

48:23

hurt me but don't hurt bro he's got a

48:25

shorty he's got a Jordy please and

48:28

mardia was like no don't

48:31

care don't care so in this scene as Mori

48:37

is signing the book Sherlock is walking

48:39

around his office taking everything in

48:41

he's observing making deductions as he

48:44

does and he notices a book that's on a

48:47

shelf that is on horiculture which

48:49

horiculture is like gardening and plant

48:51

maintenance essentially and then he

48:53

looks in the window sill and sees a

48:55

dried up dead plant that you know the

48:57

leaves are falling the bugs are on it

49:00

and he goes okay interesting because if

49:02

you're a scholar of horiculture how

49:04

could you let that happen and all these

49:06

things you know it's like all these okay

49:08

okay okay as he's signing it he's

49:10

observing he goes back around to the

49:12

front of the desk and as morard is

49:13

handing it back to him uh Sherlock goes

49:17

are you familiar with the study of

49:19

graphology and then morar goes I'm not

49:23

no and then shock says the psychological

49:25

analysis of

49:27

handwriting and then he opens the book

49:30

and he he checks out the recent like

49:32

morard just signed it and he goes the

49:36

flourishes on the lower Zone denote a

49:38

highly creative yet meticulous nature

49:40

while the flourishes in the lower zone

49:43

no I [ __ ] it

49:45

up we'll watch

49:47

it finally meet you Zone to not here we

49:51

go study of

49:53

graphology I've never given it any

49:55

serious thought no psychological

49:57

analysis of

49:59

handwriting the upward Strokes on the P

50:01

there it is the upward Strokes in the P

50:04

the J and the M indicate a genius level

50:06

intellect all the flourishes in the

50:08

lower Zone do note a highly creative yet

50:10

meticulous nature but if one observes

50:13

the overall slant and the pressure of

50:15

the writing there's a suggestion of

50:16

acute narcissism a complete lack of

50:19

empathy and a pronounced inclination

50:21

toward moral

50:24

Insanity that's that scene memorized it

50:26

as 13-year-old this movie changed me I

50:29

think that this scene really opened my

50:33

eyes to and this movie and also uh the

50:37

series

50:38

Sherlock really

50:42

really kindled a fire of desire in me to

50:45

want to become a Renaissance woman being

50:49

Baseline good at almost everything is

50:52

like really such a desirable goal to

50:55

have a baseline understanding of the

50:56

world and culture and art and history

51:00

and science and math and reading and

51:02

whatever to have that be your foundation

51:05

on which you live life on which you base

51:08

your opinions on life your opinions on

51:10

other people your opinions on you know

51:13

how can you form solid balanced opinions

51:16

on Art of the present if you're not well

51:18

versed in the art of the past and to

51:20

make predictions and you know judgments

51:22

on Art of the future as it concerns AI

51:25

or technology or anything like that all

51:26

of that is really important to me

51:29

because these movies impacted me so so

51:33

deeply as a kid and I've read one or two

51:37

uh Arthur conand Doyle books but they

51:40

just don't you know I love Roberton Jr

51:41

it's got to be RDJ and the books are

51:43

very compelling you know like they're

51:44

they're they're a good read but I just

51:46

have memorized these movies they're

51:47

[ __ ] fantastic and I watch them back

51:50

and I'm like damn I just get so inspired

51:52

and it's such a byproduct of of the plot

51:56

you that's not the plot of the movie is

51:58

to be like wow look at

51:59

how cultured Sherlock Holmes is cu

52:03

arguably he's a white man around in

52:05

Victorian London like that's kind of you

52:07

know it was a very Colonial imperialist

52:10

uh still sort of celebrated culture

52:12

where other cultures are being studied

52:15

under a microscope and being stolen from

52:17

and being conquered still I mean Joseph

52:19

Conrad's Heart of Darkness was in the

52:21

1860s

52:24

right I've googled this before on this

52:27

podcast 1899 there you go so it's around

52:30

this time it literally is around this

52:31

time and I mean taking that to

52:34

consideration of course like a lot of

52:36

the it was also a fascination with

52:38

Eastern cultures and Eastern religions

52:41

and philosophies and opiates and all of

52:44

this like it's very uh culturally

52:48

non-pc but of course it's a period film

52:51

and it's it's from the time but still to

52:55

have a curiosity that's what I'm trying

52:57

to like hone in on is the Curiosity to

53:01

find out about life to find out about

53:05

life outside of your circle your bubble

53:07

the things that every day you choose to

53:10

consume which are arguably not your

53:13

choice they are being fed to you they're

53:15

being fed to you and they're not good

53:17

for you to break that mold to enter into

53:21

the sunlight so to say and say I'm ready

53:24

for new things to wash over me versus

53:26

the same old influencer tea and drama

53:30

and [ __ ] this is the new trend and

53:33

blueberry milk nails and coffee makeup

53:35

shut the [ __ ]

53:39

up shut the [ __ ] up

53:43

dude shut the [ __ ] up dude I am begging

53:45

on my bended knee for you to shut the

53:47

[ __ ] up there is so much more life to be

53:50

experienced and read and heard and

53:52

listened to and understood than what Tik

53:54

Tok and Instagram Feed Us

53:57

I can't even get on Twitter anymore cuz

53:58

it's [ __ ] brain rot it's literally

54:00

just like it's it's illicit activities

54:04

and it's porn that's all Twitter is and

54:07

it it's Sensational it's just disgusting

54:09

I can't do it Instagram is starting to

54:11

feel I just can't and then with the Tik

54:14

Tok band may be imminent like I don't

54:17

there has to be something Beyond this

54:19

world that we've created for ourselves

54:20

online there has to be more we have the

54:23

world at our

54:24

fingertips and this is what we do with

54:27

it we are cogs in the machine wake up

54:30

she you have control over your timeline

54:34

you have control over how much time of

54:36

your day you give to these apps how much

54:38

of your privacy you give to these apps

54:41

how much information and I am a victim

54:43

in this too it is so hard to break out

54:45

of because it is tapped into the

54:48

addiction in our brain it's the

54:50

serotonin it's a

54:51

doine it's a

54:54

hit another please whip lashing another

54:58

please

54:59

lashing that's how social media

55:02

feels must I have another

55:05

sir being being fogged in the Public

55:08

Square of meta that's what it [ __ ]

55:11

feels like dude may I have another 40

55:13

lashings please no Jesus Christ in

55:18

heaven my goal this year is to expand

55:22

the mind I'm reading a book right now

55:25

and once I'm done with with it I will be

55:27

starting East of Eden and then I will go

55:30

back and I will read 1984 and you

55:32

[ __ ] are going to be in for it when I

55:33

start reading 1984 well I've read it but

55:35

I'm going to read it again when I

55:36

started reading 1984 and Brave New World

55:38

again as a as a an adult who is going

55:42

to study it arguably I'd like to

55:45

annotate and study it like I would have

55:47

in school um I'm going to have some

55:50

thoughts I'm gonna I'm going to have

55:51

some rants on here so hope you guys are

55:52

strapped in for that and I think

55:57

I think that'll do it for me this

55:58

episode guys I don't even know what the

55:59

[ __ ] I talking about oh my god I didn't

56:01

even tell you about the

56:02

music okay here's my here's my white

56:06

people [ __ ] Song of the songs of the

56:09

week okay we're doing still woozy I love

56:13

still woozy I love uh what's that album

56:17

they have

56:20

called it's the one that goodie bag is

56:25

on

56:27

you could be myit I might let

56:31

you be my woman right oh they only have

56:35

one album

56:37

out this album's [ __ ] great if this

56:40

isn't nice I don't know what is period

56:42

yeah goodie bag came out in 2017 I

56:45

[ __ ] love that song habit uh and then

56:49

uh window window's

56:51

great TV girl is my current Obsession I

56:54

loved TV girl since College but it kind

56:56

of comes in and out like I'll I'll have

56:58

a little Indie moment I was listening to

57:00

TV girl at the beach and so now that I'm

57:02

like I'm burning my candles I'm doing

57:04

all this I'm going to start taking

57:05

vitamin

57:06

D uh the life is coming back into my

57:08

body my frozen timid corpse from the

57:11

winter time I love TV girl I love the

57:14

song panty hose I love uh talk to

57:17

strangers I love lovers rock birds don't

57:20

sing Lucy I've been into Peach Pit

57:23

recently uh Al righty Aphrodite

57:27

blue hair by TV girl so good this is so

57:30

I'm locked into this dude this is my

57:32

current when I'm cooking when I'm

57:34

cleaning the kitchen when I'm whatever

57:36

I'm rocking this and it's just happy

57:38

music it's just sort of you know it's

57:41

just like I love it it makes me feel 19

57:44

and it also makes me feel like oh my

57:47

freckles oh I have freckles I'm just a

57:50

girl I'm just a girl with freckles that

57:53

sometimes turn into moles and I have to

57:54

go to the dermatologist and get them cut

57:55

off

57:56

okay

57:59

whatever that is my music download of

58:03

the week let me see if I had anything

58:04

else I have not listened to re's album

58:06

as of today's March 9th when I'm

58:09

recording this okay I'm sure uh By the

58:11

time this comes out I will have listened

58:13

to it and I will have a review so I'll

58:14

try to do that next time maybe I'm so

58:16

excited dude she said it's short and I'm

58:18

wearing my AR and Grandy sweatshirt

58:20

right now my little my little jacket my

58:22

little jacket I have not listened to

58:24

AR's album I will get to it okay got to

58:28

figure that [ __ ] out I will listen to it

58:30

and have my report back to y'all all

58:33

right I love you guys be safe I still

58:36

have merch live go [ __ ] buy it it

58:39

ships out April 1 ships out April 1 team

58:43

brosi do shop I have Royal Court with a

58:47

new episode coming out April

58:50

April I have normal YouTube videos I

58:52

upload if you [ __ ] don't know I

58:54

upload a YouTube video a week go watch

58:55

it it's fun it's

58:57

fun come

58:59

on come

59:01

on all right love you guys

59:05

[Music]

59:16

bye

Rate This

5.0 / 5 (0 votes)

Tags associés
BritneyLaundrySelf-ReflectionPopCultureAngusThongsSherlockHolmesVitaminDSocialMediaMindExpansionMusicRecommendations
Avez-vous besoin d'un résumé en français?