I found out I have ADHD.

JaidenAnimations
1 Jun 202417:53

Summary

TLDRIn this personal narrative, the speaker reflects on their struggle with focus, organization, and time management, which intensified after leaving the structured environment of school. Initially attributing these issues to laziness, they later discover a family history of ADHD and decide to seek a diagnosis. After an extensive evaluation, they are diagnosed with inattentive type ADHD and possibly autism. The diagnosis provides clarity and a newfound understanding of their brain's functioning, leading to improved self-compassion and strategies for managing their symptoms. The speaker also shares their experience with medication, describing the profound impact it had on their ability to focus and be productive, ultimately making them feel 'normal' for the first time.

Takeaways

  • 🧑‍🎓 The speaker reflects on their past as a well-organized and disciplined student, seemingly unaffected by ADHD.
  • 🎓 The transition to college and independence marked the beginning of noticeable struggles with focus, motivation, and time management.
  • 📹 A successful YouTube channel became a distraction and eventually led to the speaker dropping out of college.
  • 🔄 The speaker's inability to stay organized and focused persisted even after leaving the structured environment of school.
  • 🤯 The realization of ADHD came as a surprise, especially since the speaker's brother was diagnosed first with the condition.
  • 🤔 The speaker initially dismissed the idea of having ADHD, attributing their struggles to laziness or lack of effort.
  • 🧬 The genetic link to ADHD was acknowledged, but it took several years for the speaker to consider their own potential diagnosis.
  • 🧐 The speaker's psychologist confirmed the diagnosis of inattentive type ADHD and possibly autism, providing a detailed report.
  • 💊 The decision to try medication was initially hesitant, but the speaker eventually took instant-release Adderall to experience its effects.
  • 🚀 The impact of Adderall was profound, providing clarity, focus, and the ability to complete tasks with ease.
  • 🌟 The speaker emphasizes the importance of a professional diagnosis and understanding one's own mind to improve productivity and life quality.

Q & A

  • What was the speaker's perception of themselves as a child?

    -The speaker perceived themselves as a well-organized, punctual, and high-achieving student who didn't struggle much in school and didn't cause any trouble.

  • How did the speaker's behavior change after moving out for college?

    -The speaker began skipping classes, procrastinating on assignments, and losing motivation for schoolwork, attributing these changes to adjusting to college life and the distraction of their growing YouTube channel.

  • What was the turning point that led the speaker to consider they might have ADHD?

    -The turning point was when the speaker's brother was diagnosed with ADHD and described symptoms that resonated with the speaker's own experiences, leading them to consider the possibility of having ADHD themselves.

  • Why did the speaker initially resist the idea of having ADHD?

    -The speaker resisted the idea because they remembered being organized and focused in school, and they thought their struggles were due to laziness or not trying hard enough.

  • What was the speaker's experience like after leaving college and trying to manage their own responsibilities?

    -The speaker found it increasingly difficult to stay organized and focused, often needing to isolate themselves to complete tasks, and struggled with hyperfixating on new interests.

  • What are the three types of ADHD mentioned in the script?

    -The three types of ADHD mentioned are hyperactive, inattentive, and combined, with the speaker identifying as having the inattentive type.

  • How did the speaker's psychologist help them understand their ADHD?

    -The psychologist provided a detailed diagnosis, including a 37-page document with conclusions and information on how the speaker's brain works, which helped the speaker understand their struggles.

  • What was the speaker's initial attitude towards taking medication for ADHD?

    -Initially, the speaker was against taking medication, believing that understanding their ADHD was enough to help them manage their symptoms.

  • What was the speaker's experience like after taking their first dose of instant release Adderall?

    -After taking Adderall, the speaker experienced a significant reduction in mental noise, improved focus, and an ability to complete tasks without distractions or the need for breaks.

  • How did the speaker's diagnosis and understanding of ADHD change their approach to life?

    -The diagnosis helped the speaker to be less hard on themselves, adopt new strategies for getting things done, and feel less abnormal, ultimately leading to improvements in their day-to-day life.

  • What advice does the speaker give to those who might be on the fence about getting a diagnosis?

    -The speaker advises that having a concrete answer from a professional can help individuals stop feeling stuck and start moving forward, as it did for them.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Struggling with Productivity and Organization

The speaker reflects on their childhood where they were organized, punctual, and a good student, seemingly free from any attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). However, upon moving out for college, they began to struggle with skipping classes, procrastination, and lack of motivation. Despite early success on YouTube, which led to dropping out of college, the speaker found it increasingly difficult to manage responsibilities as their own boss. They express confusion about their inability to maintain the organization and focus they once had, and how this downward spiral was not anticipated given their past behavior.

05:02

😯 Realization of ADHD Through Personal and Familial Diagnosis

The speaker recounts their journey to understanding ADHD, which began with their brother's diagnosis. Initially, they didn't identify with the condition, as their brother's symptoms didn't match the stereotypical hyperactive image of ADHD. However, upon hearing about his specific symptoms, such as difficulty focusing and hyperfixation on interests, the speaker began to relate and question their own experiences. Despite this, it took several years before they seriously considered the possibility of having ADHD themselves. The realization that ADHD could manifest differently and could be genetic, as well as the speaker's own worsening focus and productivity issues, eventually led them to seek a diagnosis.

10:02

🧐 Exploring ADHD's Impact and the Benefits of Medication

After receiving a diagnosis of inattentive type ADHD and autism, the speaker discusses how it has helped them understand their struggles. They explain the different types of ADHD and share their personal experience with instant release medication, which they took to experience its effects firsthand for their content creation. The medication allowed them to focus, remember tasks, and avoid distractions, leading to a significant increase in productivity. The speaker expresses surprise and relief at being able to function without the constant mental noise and shares the humorous irony of using Aderall to write a script about ADHD.

15:02

💪 Embracing the ADHD Diagnosis and Seeking Improvement

The speaker talks about the life-changing impact of their ADHD diagnosis, which has allowed them to feel 'normal' and to accomplish tasks with ease. They share their newfound ability to focus for extended periods and to transition between tasks without the usual mental strain. The speaker also discusses the decision to try medication and the dramatic improvement it brought to their productivity and quality of life. They encourage others who might be struggling with similar issues to consider a professional diagnosis as a means to move forward and improve their daily functioning. The speaker ends on a positive note, expressing excitement about continuing to learn and adapt to enhance their life with ADHD.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡ADHD

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. In the video, the creator discusses their personal journey of struggling with focus, organization, and time management, which they later discovered to be symptoms of ADHD. The video explores the impact of this diagnosis on their life and how it helps explain their past difficulties in school and work.

💡Inattentive Type

The inattentive type of ADHD is one of the three subtypes of the disorder, characterized primarily by difficulty focusing, organizing, and remembering things. The video's creator identifies with this subtype, as they discuss their challenges with maintaining attention and staying organized, which significantly affected their academic and professional life.

💡Hyperfixation

Hyperfixation refers to an intense, obsessive focus on a particular interest or activity. In the context of the video, the creator mentions being able to hyperfixate on things they are interested in, which is a common trait among individuals with ADHD. This can lead to a significant amount of time and energy being devoted to these interests, often to the detriment of other responsibilities.

💡Diagnosis

A diagnosis is the identification of a disease or condition through assessment and testing. The video script details the creator's journey to receiving an ADHD diagnosis, which involved seeing a psychologist and going through a process of self-reflection and evaluation. The diagnosis was a turning point for the creator, providing clarity and a framework for understanding their struggles.

💡Neurotypical

Neurotypical refers to individuals who do not have any neurological conditions that affect their development and behavior, such as ADHD or autism. The video creator contrasts their experiences with those of neurotypical individuals, highlighting the unique challenges they face and the differences in how their brain functions.

💡Medication

In the context of ADHD, medication is often prescribed to help manage symptoms and improve focus and organization. The video discusses the creator's initial reluctance to take medication, their eventual decision to try it for the purpose of creating content, and the profound impact it had on their ability to focus and complete tasks.

💡Instant Release

Instant release is a type of medication formulation that provides a rapid onset of action. The video creator was prescribed instant release Adderall, which they could take as needed to help with focus and productivity. This is contrasted with extended release formulations, which provide a more consistent effect over time.

💡Productivity

Productivity refers to the efficiency and effectiveness with which tasks are completed. The video's theme revolves around the creator's struggles with productivity due to their ADHD symptoms and how receiving a diagnosis and trying medication helped them to become more productive and focused.

💡Self-Reflection

Self-reflection involves thinking deeply about one's experiences, feelings, and behaviors. The video script includes the creator's self-reflection on their past experiences and behaviors, which led them to consider the possibility of having ADHD and eventually seek a diagnosis.

💡Content Creation

Content creation refers to the process of producing various forms of media, such as videos, articles, or podcasts. The video creator discusses their career as a content creator and how their ADHD symptoms affected their ability to produce work efficiently. The diagnosis and subsequent treatment allowed them to improve their content creation process.

💡Normal

In the video, 'normal' is used to describe the state of functioning without the challenges posed by ADHD. The creator expresses a newfound appreciation for what they perceive as 'normal' functioning after experiencing the benefits of medication, which allowed them to focus, remember, and complete tasks more easily.

Highlights

The speaker reflects on their struggle with focus, organization, and time management.

They describe being a well-organized, high-achieving student without apparent ADHD symptoms.

College life and independence led to a decline in motivation and increased procrastination.

The speaker's YouTube success contributed to their decision to drop out of college.

After leaving school, the speaker faced difficulties in maintaining organization and focus.

They initially attributed their struggles to laziness and a lack of effort.

The speaker's brother's ADHD diagnosis sparked a realization about their own potential condition.

The speaker's brother's symptoms were not stereotypical, leading to a delayed diagnosis.

The speaker's own experiences with focus and productivity issues were similar to their brother's.

It took several years for the speaker to consider the possibility of having ADHD.

The speaker's psychologist confirmed the diagnosis of inattentive type ADHD and autism.

Different types of ADHD are explained: hyperactive, inattentive, and combined.

The speaker discusses how ADHD affects women differently and can manifest later in life.

The diagnosis helped the speaker understand their struggles and change their mindset.

The speaker tried instant-release medication to experience its effects on productivity.

Taking Aderall resulted in a significant improvement in focus and task completion.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of a professional diagnosis for mental health struggles.

They encourage others to seek help and understand their own minds for improved daily functioning.

The speaker shares their journey with ADHD to inspire and support others with similar experiences.

Transcripts

00:00

do you ever think to yourself man why is

00:02

it so hard for me to just do the things

00:05

I need to do and focus and remember

00:07

things and manage my time and be

00:09

organized and remember things and not

00:11

get

00:12

sidetracked ha yeah me neither when I

00:15

was a kid I was pretty much the picture

00:17

perfect depiction of a good student I

00:19

was well organized always turned in my

00:21

work on time got good grades I even did

00:24

my homework on Fridays instead of

00:25

procrastinating until Sunday night sure

00:28

I didn't like studying and found it hard

00:30

hard to focus during it but who didn't

00:32

seeing all those qualities put together

00:34

that doesn't sound like the brain of

00:35

someone with any kind of attention

00:37

deficit hyperactivity disorder does it I

00:40

was well behaved didn't feel like I

00:41

struggled much in school and didn't

00:43

cause any trouble that is up until I

00:47

moved out of my parents house for the

00:49

first time to go to college gradually I

00:52

started slipping I began skipping

00:53

classes a bit when I just didn't feel

00:56

like going would wait until the last

00:58

moment to start class workor and lost a

01:00

lot of motivation because I wasn't

01:02

interested in any of my school work but

01:05

overall even though it was pretty out of

01:07

character for me I chocked it all up to

01:09

the fact I was simply overo to school at

01:12

the same time my YouTube was really

01:14

kicking off and all I wanted to do was

01:16

that of course I wasn't going to be as

01:18

good of a student when the silly YouTube

01:20

videos were doing numbers I finished a

01:22

single year of college and convinced my

01:24

parents to let me take a gap year to see

01:26

where this YouTube thing can take me

01:28

spoiler alert the Gap year turned into

01:30

me never going back I'm a College

01:32

Dropout so great I've eliminated the

01:34

boring school part of my life that

01:36

weighs me down now I can go back to

01:38

being organized with my new exciting

01:40

passion job which entails being my own

01:43

boss and having to manage and assign

01:45

myself all of my own responsibilities

01:49

24/7 why are the voices not getting

01:51

quieter it's almost like everything was

01:52

going backwards I was having a much

01:54

harder time staying organized and

01:56

focused if I didn't want to do a certain

01:58

type of work I would have to shackle

02:00

myself down in basically an isolation

02:03

chamber to be able to get it done if I

02:04

found a new interest it was all I could

02:06

think about and why is it so easy to

02:08

suddenly be on your roof watching a

02:10

YouTube video on how to know when you

02:12

need new shingles I really didn't get it

02:15

child me had it held together more than

02:17

current me what went wrong I could look

02:19

back and recognize how everything used

02:21

to be so perfect and easy look at tiny

02:24

Jaden and all her ducks in that row I

02:26

used to color code every single binder I

02:28

owned and now I don't even know where I

02:30

placed the 20 bucks I literally just had

02:32

in my hand 3 minutes ago I haven't even

02:35

left the room genuinely where could it

02:36

fing go despite feeling like I was

02:38

downward spiraling for multiple years I

02:41

never suspected it could be something

02:43

related to a genetic neurodevelopmental

02:45

disorder I just thought I wasn't trying

02:47

hard enough and being lazy or applying

02:50

myself like I used to oh the woes of

02:52

turning into an adult I suppose maybe

02:55

the best years of your life truly are in

02:57

high school how upsetting I didn't even

02:59

enjoy those either but then one day I

03:01

got a text from my brother I got

03:03

diagnosed with

03:05

ADHD huh it was a pretty big surprise

03:07

for me because growing up he never

03:09

really seemed to show any of the typical

03:11

symptoms you associate with ADHD you

03:13

know people would always describe ADHD

03:16

to me as Super Hyper kids who would run

03:18

around the room and scream and generally

03:20

be a lot that wasn't my brother he was

03:22

quiet and well behaved like I was but

03:24

when he started explaining his symptoms

03:27

the gears started turning yeah I've

03:29

always struggled a lot with focusing in

03:31

school and having things hold my

03:33

attention when it's boring but like I

03:35

could hyper fixate on things I'm

03:37

interested in and get really passionate

03:39

about that stuff hearing him talk about

03:40

his personal symptoms of ADHD made a lot

03:43

of sense and I felt very freshly

03:45

educated on the topic and you'd think

03:47

that I would immediately start looking

03:49

into getting a diagnosis for myself

03:51

because if you were paying attention my

03:53

brother's experiences all sounded very

03:55

similar to the same struggles I've been

03:57

having in my own life but related to

03:59

work instead of of school because I

04:00

dropped out but nope I was just like

04:02

good for you bro happy for you or I'm

04:05

sorry I don't know anyway back to

04:07

struggling to Simply open up my drawing

04:09

program as if two blocks of iron were

04:12

welded to my wrists imbalance of brain

04:14

chemicals no this just happens from time

04:17

to time it's normal just the laziness

04:20

kicking in I hate Mondays am I right

04:23

even though I didn't instantly think

04:24

there is a possibility of me also having

04:26

ADHD the mental seed was planted it's

04:29

it's genetic so I knew subconsciously it

04:32

ran in the bloodline it took a few years

04:34

after my brother was diagnosed for me to

04:36

really sit down with myself and consider

04:38

that I too could have ADHD shocking

04:41

Revelation I know foreshadowing where

04:43

did you come from things in the focus

04:45

and productivity Department were just

04:47

getting worse and worse I had the

04:49

attention span of a cartoon dog would

04:52

completely forget things as soon as they

04:54

entered my head would hyperfixate on

04:56

random stuff like an addict and there is

04:59

const Civil War happening inside my head

05:01

to get one thing done even though I knew

05:04

it would only take like 15 minutes you

05:07

don't understand it feels like physical

05:10

torture to make myself sit down and lips

05:12

sync a simple scene like most of the

05:15

time you know the thing I've been doing

05:17

for 10 years at this point and am

05:20

definitely used to doing and yeah once

05:22

I've gotten going then I'm honed in and

05:24

you have to prye me away from it with a

05:26

crowbar I'm aware of that part but no

05:29

I'm still going to scrap with myself to

05:31

plant my ass in that chair because I

05:34

don't I don't even know why at this

05:35

point the biggest thing holding me back

05:38

from feeling like I had ADHD has always

05:41

been the simple memory of being in

05:43

school and having my together I

05:46

know what it feels like to be on top of

05:48

things and to be organized I had it all

05:51

in the palm of my little child's hand I

05:53

just needed to summon it again with a

05:55

bit more effort but a light Switched Off

05:58

in my brain and suddenly I'm just not

06:01

capable of the things I used to be and

06:03

it feels pathetic simple tasks are such

06:06

a mental burden it feels like I'm out of

06:09

control but can't do anything about it

06:11

so finally I figured I would try and get

06:14

myself diagnosed what did I have to lose

06:16

if anything they just tell me no you

06:18

don't have ADHD try a little harder and

06:21

stop complaining and yes of course it

06:23

took me like 8 months after deciding to

06:25

get diagnosed to schedule the actual

06:27

appointment what did you expect that's

06:29

like the first check mark box on the

06:31

ADHD list I started seeing a

06:33

psychologist and he would ask the

06:35

typical do you have a hard time focusing

06:37

and I'd go yeah like this one time

06:40

yesterday and then he writes something

06:42

down as I continue rambling on this

06:44

hypers specific example way too long for

06:46

a neurotypical person I met with him for

06:48

a few weeks and then it came down to

06:51

diagnosis day the nerves man I was so

06:54

ready for him to say I'm a normal person

06:56

who needs to suck it up but instead he

06:59

was like okay so yeah you definitely

07:03

exhibit symptoms of someone with the

07:04

inattentive type of

07:06

ADHD and autism yippe my struggles are

07:10

Justified I'm not crazy wait wait what

07:12

was that last part he explained all the

07:14

different ways ADHD affects me and the

07:16

different areas I struggle with compared

07:18

to others he even gave me a 37 page

07:21

document of his conclusions and

07:23

information on how my brain works with

07:25

graphs and pictures I've read through it

07:27

all a bunch of times now and it's it's

07:29

already really helped me understand how

07:31

I tick I call them the autism Docks but

07:34

I'm I'm not going to get into that side

07:35

of the diagnosis let's just let's let's

07:38

just push that one away for now there's

07:39

a couple types of ADHD you can have

07:42

hyperactive inattentive and combined

07:44

which is both hyperactive and

07:46

inattentive hyperactive is the type

07:48

people typically go to when they think

07:49

of a loud kid who can't sit still people

07:52

with this kind normally need to fidget

07:54

have low patience tend to talk a lot and

07:56

have trouble staying seated especially

07:58

when they're EXP Ed to like in a meeting

08:00

or school inattentive is the one where

08:03

someone experiences difficulty in Focus

08:05

memory organization has a low attention

08:08

span that's the one I have it's

08:10

self-explanatory but if you have the

08:12

combined type of ADHD then you got it

08:14

all ADHD jackpot right there my friend I

08:17

brought up during the appointments that

08:19

I used to be such a good kid in school

08:21

with seemingly zero ADHD symptoms and

08:24

how that part has always confused me and

08:26

he had a couple hypotheses about it one

08:28

since my mom has always been a big

08:30

source of my organizational influence I

08:33

was able to depend and lean on her for

08:35

the majority of my school life for it I

08:37

felt like I was naturally capable of

08:39

staying on top of things because she was

08:41

right behind me the whole time reminding

08:43

me and guiding me through stuff so when

08:45

I moved out everything started crumbling

08:47

which lines up pretty perfectly to when

08:49

I did start struggling another

08:51

explanation he gave was the fact that

08:53

ADHD affects women differently than men

08:56

which is also less researched love to

08:58

hear that one not only do women tend to

09:00

be able to mask their symptoms better

09:02

than guys so it goes much more unnoticed

09:05

but they also experience ADHD

09:07

differently and research says there's a

09:09

chance it can just start affecting women

09:11

later in life I'm no ADHD scientist

09:14

though that's just what I've been told

09:15

by Specialists I don't know I've just

09:17

got the dang thing either way those two

09:19

explanations make a lot of sense to me

09:21

and have since put my weird ADHD

09:23

imposter syndrome to rest I didn't

09:25

really think that getting a diagnosis

09:27

would change much about how I go about

09:29

my life but since getting my ADHD

09:32

certificate and lollipop it's completely

09:35

revolutionized how I think and go about

09:37

getting things done it's still hard to

09:39

get my ass into gear when I need to do

09:41

one normal thing that's not difficult

09:44

but I'm much less hard on myself and

09:46

will strike almost like these kinds of

09:48

mental deals to loophole myself into

09:50

getting things done like for example if

09:52

I really don't want to edit a video I'll

09:55

say to myself okay I know it's going to

09:57

be super hard for me to immediately

09:59

start that task so I'll get myself into

10:02

the mindset of getting things done by

10:04

doing a simple other task I don't find

10:07

difficult like cleaning my room that way

10:09

I'll feel productive and can transition

10:11

that into tackling the original task

10:13

much easier it doesn't always work but

10:15

it's the mindset change and overall

10:18

understanding that sometimes I'm going

10:20

to have to go about things in different

10:22

ways that's helped me a lot also after

10:24

being diagnosed with ADHD I didn't have

10:27

much desire to get medicated I figured

10:30

just knowing I have it would be enough

10:32

to get things into gear and I didn't

10:34

really need medication that badly but

10:37

the content creator and me also thought

10:39

well if I'm going to write a script

10:41

about having ADHD it would be nice to be

10:44

able to talk about what it's like to be

10:47

medicated even just for a day so I got

10:50

prescribed good old classic instant

10:52

release atall instant release means I

10:55

don't have to take it every day I can

10:56

just take it when I need to get stuff

10:58

done it picks me immediately and then

11:00

wears off after a few hours there's also

11:03

extended release which is the kind you

11:05

take every day and gives you a constant

11:06

steady stream of medication it wasn't

11:09

until I had the Aderall in my hands when

11:11

I realized the idea of taking it for the

11:13

first time made me nervous like what is

11:17

this thing going to do to me I have so

11:18

many friends with ADHD honestly a higher

11:21

ratio than friends without it that's how

11:23

it goes in content creation all these

11:25

MFS have it they were all telling me

11:27

that it's awesome how you'll take it and

11:29

immediately feel like a God and you can

11:31

do anything and it's incredible and yeah

11:34

that sounds great but also like what the

11:36

hell what do you mean I take this little

11:38

pill and suddenly all of my problems

11:40

seemingly disappear and I gain

11:42

superpowers that's scary that sounds

11:44

like the thing every adult in a 20m

11:46

radius warned us about when we were kids

11:48

am I going to feel like a completely

11:50

different person I don't know if I'm

11:51

ready to experience immortality I put

11:54

off taking Aderall for so long because I

11:56

was irrationally scared of the tiny blue

11:59

pill but

12:00

coincidentally I really needed to get a

12:03

script done if I take too long to write

12:05

a video script then the team runs out of

12:07

work to do and then I have a bunch of

12:09

people sitting around and waiting for me

12:11

to give them more work so they can pay

12:13

their bills and survive and stuff but

12:16

for the freaking life of me I just could

12:18

not get myself to sit down and write

12:21

that script my body and soul found it

12:23

mentally easier to backflip off a bridge

12:26

than write words on the computer after

12:28

literally two months of my brain going

12:31

ooh you better write that script I won't

12:34

let you enjoy a single moment of your

12:36

life if you aren't writing that

12:40

script I don't want to get up go to the

12:43

bridge after that constant loop I

12:45

finally swallowed my fears and took my

12:48

first Aderall I had talked to James a

12:50

lot about what Aderall is like since

12:52

he's been on it for a few years now and

12:54

after I took one I was messaging him

12:56

like I did it I ate an Aderall how long

12:58

does it normally take to start how do I

13:00

know what do I do and he was helping me

13:02

a lot and giving me tips then like 20

13:05

minutes

13:06

later I felt

13:09

it all the non-stop thoughts going on in

13:12

my brain went silent I could think

13:15

clearly and in like a line my mind

13:19

wasn't racing a mile a minute I was able

13:21

to sit behind my laptop and right it was

13:24

incredible I was messaging all my

13:26

friends about it the entire time I can

13:28

write my script and not get distracted I

13:30

don't have to take a mental break every

13:32

10 minutes I can remember things Kelsey

13:34

sent me a message and I thought I'll

13:35

check that in a bit and I remember to

13:37

check in it a bit and respond when I

13:39

opened a new tab to look something up I

13:41

didn't go down a random unrelated Rabbit

13:43

Hole I picked up my phone to check

13:44

something and didn't impulsively scroll

13:46

Twitter for an hour I can write words so

13:47

easily how am I doing this what do you

13:49

mean I can feel like this whenever I

13:51

want if I just eat the tiny blue pill I

13:53

refuse to believe regular people can

13:55

function like this on a day-to-day basis

13:58

no way it wouldn't be fair you guys

14:00

don't have loud non-stop voices in your

14:02

heads preventing you from doing normal

14:04

things come on just admit it you can't

14:06

pick something up and immediately keep

14:08

remembering what you were supposed to be

14:10

doing with it you always forget and feel

14:13

crazy come on come on I was so

14:16

suspicious that on Aderall either

14:18

nothing would happen and I just wouldn't

14:20

feel anything or I would feel like I'm a

14:22

totally different person experiencing

14:24

some higher than life manic episode but

14:27

no I just felt like myself but with my

14:30

together and that's the part I

14:32

couldn't believe after 2 months of War I

14:36

finally was able to plant myself down

14:38

and write my damn script you want to

14:41

know what script I wrote while

14:42

experiencing Aderall for the first

14:44

time this one I was struggling to write

14:47

a script about ADHD and the thing that

14:49

finally pulled it out of me was Aderall

14:52

come you got to admit that's funny yeah

14:54

it was great I didn't think my head was

14:56

loud before or I was that imp impulsive

14:59

or had that hard of a time focusing but

15:02

now that I've been able to peacefully

15:04

sit in one spot for hours and not need

15:06

to take a break or check social media or

15:09

get distracted by some stupid tangent I

15:11

don't actually care about yeah this

15:14

changes things I still can't believe

15:16

what I was able to accomplish writing a