Weekend Update: Stormy Daniels Says Trump Didn't Wear Condom, RFK Jr.'s Parasitic Brain Worm - SNL

Saturday Night Live

11 May 202403:26

Summary

TLDRThe 'Weekend Update' segment with Colin Jost and Michael Che covered a range of satirical topics. They discussed Stormy Daniels' testimony about her alleged affair with Donald Trump, including a humorous take on the details of their encounter and the subsequent legal proceedings. The segment also touched on international relations with a mention of the U.S. withholding weapons from Israel, President Biden's call to combat anti-Semitism, and a light-hearted jab at Colin's country club. Additionally, the show poked fun at a White House ceremony where President Biden mistakenly referred to basketball player Candice Parker as a coach, and at Vladimir Putin's re-inauguration in Russia. The segment concluded with a bizarre claim from Robert F. Kennedy Jr. about having a brain worm and still being able to out-debate the presidents.

Takeaways

📚 Colin Jost and Michael Che host 'Weekend Update', a satirical news segment.
🌈 Stormy Daniels provided a detailed account of her alleged sexual encounter with Donald Trump, which was described as disgusting.
💸 Trump's lawyers accused Stormy Daniels of lying about their affair for profit, implying that she is the only person to profit from business with Trump.
🎭 It was suggested that Stormy Daniels may have engaged with Trump to advance her career, drawing a sarcastic comparison to Republicans.
🩲 Stormy Daniels testified that Donald Trump did not wear a condom during their encounter, humorously noting his tie prevented him from doing so.
🎬 During the hush money trial, Stormy Daniels was asked to list movies she worked on, leading to a joke about the judge opening oral arguments with the movie names.
🤫 Prior to her testimony, Stormy Daniels agreed not to describe Trump's genitals in court after being offered hush money by the jury.
🏛️ Florida Senator Rick Scott appeared in court to support Trump, leading to a joke about the audience getting an idea of what Trump's penis would look like.
🔫 Israeli officials were reportedly furious after the U.S. withheld a shipment of weapons.
🤝 President Biden called for a fight against anti-Semitism, asserting that there is no place for it in America, with a sarcastic reference to Colin's country club.
🏆 President Biden mistakenly called Candice Parker one of the greatest all-time coaches during a White House ceremony honoring the WNBA Champion Las Vegas Aces.
📜 Vladimir Putin was sworn in for his fifth term by the Russian Constitution, humorously described as a labeled bottle of vodka.
🧠 Robert F. Kennedy Jr. revealed he had a brain worm, and made a boastful comment about his intellectual prowess relative to the current and former presidents.

Q & A

What is the name of the show where Colin Jost and Michael Che are the hosts?
-The show is called 'Weekend Update'.
What was the topic of discussion involving Stormy Daniels and Donald Trump?
-Stormy Daniels provided a detailed description of her alleged sexual encounter with Donald Trump in court.
What accusation did Trump's lawyers make against Stormy Daniels?
-Trump's lawyers accused Stormy Daniels of lying about their affair for profit.
What was the humorous implication made about Stormy Daniels' intentions with Donald Trump?
-It was implied that Stormy Daniels got involved with Trump to advance her career, humorously compared to every Republican.
What did Stormy Daniels testify about Donald Trump's attempt to use a condom?
-She testified that Donald Trump did not wear a condom because he was blocked by his tie when he tried to put one on.
What unusual event occurred after Stormy Daniels listed the movies she worked on during the trial?
-The judge banged the gavel and opened oral arguments, humorously implying the movie titles were part of the arguments.
Why were Israeli officials reportedly furious?
-They were furious because the U.S. withheld a shipment of weapons.
What did President Biden do regarding the fight against anti-Semitism?
-President Biden issued a call to fight against anti-Semitism, stating that there is no place for it in America.
What mistake did President Biden make during the White House ceremony honoring the WNBA Champion Las Vegas Aces?
-President Biden mistakenly called Candice Parker one of the greatest all-time coaches, thinking she was the point guard.
What was the humorous take on Vladimir Putin's swearing-in ceremony in Russia?
-The humorous take was that Putin was sworn in by the Russian Constitution, which was described as just a labeled bottle of vodka.
What surprising revelation did Robert F. Kennedy Jr. make?
-Robert F. Kennedy Jr. revealed that he had a brain worm.
What boast did the announcer make about debating President Trump and President Biden, even with the presence of more brain worms?
-The announcer boasted that he could eat five more brain worms and still beat both President Trump and President Biden in a debate.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che

The opening segment of the 'Weekend Update' show introduces the hosts, Colin Jost and Michael Che, to a cheering audience. They discuss the week's events, including Stormy Daniels' court testimony about her alleged affair with Donald Trump, which is humorously described as so disgusting it turned the sky green. The hosts joke about Trump's lawyers accusing Daniels of lying for profit and the implication that she used the affair to advance her career, likening her to Republicans. A comedic anecdote is shared about Trump's difficulty wearing a condom due to his tie. Daniels' agreement not to describe Trump's genitals in court is mentioned, and a joke is made about Florida Senator Rick Scott's appearance in court, implying it gave the audience a visual representation of Trump's penis. The segment also covers international news, such as Israeli officials' anger over the U.S. withholding weapons and President Biden's call to fight against anti-Semitism. Additionally, there's a humorous error by President Biden, who mistakenly called basketball player Candice Parker a coach, and a mention of Vladimir Putin's fifth-term inauguration in Russia, which is satirized with a joke about the Russian constitution being a bottle of vodka. The segment concludes with a mention of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. revealing he had a brain worm and a boastful comment about his intellectual prowess.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Weekend Update

Weekend Update is a recurring segment on the late-night television show Saturday Night Live (SNL). It is a satirical news segment that covers current events and politics with humor. In the script, it is the show where Colin Jost and Michael Che are hosting, and they discuss various news topics, indicating the theme of the video is to provide a humorous take on recent news.

💡Stormy Daniels

Stormy Daniels is an adult film actress who gained significant media attention due to her alleged affair with Donald Trump and subsequent legal battles. In the script, she is mentioned in relation to a court case and her testimony about Donald Trump, which is a central topic of discussion and humor in this segment.

💡Donald Trump

Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States, is a recurring figure in political satire and comedy. The script references his alleged affair with Stormy Daniels and the subsequent legal issues, which is a key element of the humor and commentary in this segment.

💡Hush Money

Hush money refers to payments made to keep someone from revealing potentially damaging information. In the context of the script, it is mentioned in relation to Stormy Daniels being offered money not to describe Donald Trump's genitalia in court, which is a humorous and critical reference to the non-disclosure agreements often associated with scandalous situations.

💡Anti-Semitism

Anti-Semitism is discrimination against, prejudice, or hostility toward Jewish people. President Biden's call to fight against anti-Semitism is mentioned in the script, highlighting a serious social issue that the President is addressing, contrasting with the lighter tone of the rest of the segment.

💡WNBA Champions

The Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) is a professional basketball league in the United States. The Las Vegas Aces are mentioned as the champions being honored at a White House ceremony, indicating a moment of recognition for women's sports achievements in the script.

💡Candice Parker

Candice Parker is a professional basketball player known for her accomplishments in the WNBA. The script humorously recounts President Biden mistakenly referring to her as one of the greatest all-time coaches instead of recognizing her as a player, which adds to the comedic element of the segment.

💡Vladimir Putin

Vladimir Putin is the President of Russia and a figure often discussed in international news and satire. The script humorously describes his swearing-in ceremony, using the Russian Constitution as a metaphor for a bottle of vodka, which is a playful jab at Russian culture and politics.

💡Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is a environmental activist and a member of the prominent Kennedy family. In the script, he is mentioned in a humorous context, claiming to have a brain worm and offering a challenge to debate despite this condition, which is used to inject humor into the segment.

💡Brain Worm

A brain worm is a parasitic organism that can infect the brain. In the context of the script, it is used metaphorically and humorously to describe Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s mental state, suggesting that despite having a 'brain worm,' he could still outperform certain political figures in a debate.

💡Intervention

An intervention typically refers to a structured process where friends or family confront a person about their harmful behavior. In the script, it is used in a sarcastic manner, suggesting that the U.S. withholding weapons is akin to an intervention, which is a commentary on international relations and military support.

Highlights

Stormy Daniels gave a detailed description of sex with Donald Trump, which was so disgusting, even the sky turned green.

Trump's lawyers accused Stormy Daniels of lying about their affair for profit, implying she's the only person to do business with Trump and make money.

It's been implied that Stormy Daniels got into bed with Trump to advance her career, like every Republican.

Stormy Daniels testified that Donald Trump did not wear a condom, as he was blocked by his tie.

During Donald Trump's hush money trial, Stormy Daniels was asked to list some of the movies she's worked on, leading to a joke about the judge opening oral arguments with the movie names.

Stormy Daniels agreed not to describe Trump's genitals in court after being offered hush money by the jury.

Florida Senator Rick Scott appeared in court to support Trump, leading to a joke about what Trump's penis would look like.

Israeli officials are reportedly furious after the U.S. withheld a shipment of weapons.

President Biden issued a call to fight hate against anti-Semitism, saying there is no place for it in America.

President Biden mistakenly called Candice Parker one of the greatest all-time coaches at a White House ceremony honoring the WNBA champion Las Vegas Aces.

Vladimir Putin was sworn in for his fifth term by the Russian Constitution, which was humorously described as a labeled bottle of vodka.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. revealed he had a brain worm and joked about still being able to beat President Trump and President Biden in a debate.